REVIEW: Limited Edition Frank’s RedHot Goldfish Crackers

Limited Edition Frank s RedHot Goldfish Crackers Bag

What are Limited Edition Frank’s RedHot Goldfish Crackers?

The snack that smiles back gets a fiery Frank’s RedHot makeover. It might be Goldfish’s first food brand collaboration. If it isn’t, it’s a rare occurrence. The classic orange-clad Cheddar Goldfish collide with a powdered version of the sauce responsible for the iconic Buffalo wing zing popular at sports bars across America.

How are they?

Limited Edition Frank s RedHot Goldfish Crackers Spill

Spicy! Impressively spicy. Frank’s has two distinct flavors — a tangy vinegar and a spicy tickle, and these fish lean pretty decisively into the spice with just a touch of the tang. It took me by surprise because even though I still enjoy them as an adult, I always think of Goldfish as a kid’s snack, something that I’ve been eating since I could chew. Most children would be running around in circles with their tongues out, waving a floppy hand in front of their face if they grabbed these by accident — and I respect Pepperidge Farm for being true to the collaboration.

The cheddar compliments the spicy zing, and as the heat builds with continuous snacking, the cheesiness mellows it out so that it never gets too overwhelming. It’s a really well put together snack that showcases both flavors beautifully.

Anything else you need to know?

Before these crackers, the “spiciest” Goldfish I had was Flavor Blasted Nacho, and those weren’t really spicy at all. Apparently, there was a Hot ‘n Spicy Cheddar, but I’ve never had them. So I can’t compare the heat level, but I’ve got to imagine these are hotter.

Conclusion:

Limited Edition Frank s RedHot Goldfish Crackers Closeup

If you’re a fan of Goldfish and hot wings, picking up this collab is a no-brainer. Even more exciting is the prospect of additional funky flavors coming from Pepperidge Farm in the future. Are these Goldfish dipping their toes into the Oreo and Pringles level of experimentation? I hope so.

Purchased Price: $1.99
Size: 6.6 Ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (55 pieces – 30 grams) 140 calories, 5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 300 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, less than 1 gram of sugar, 3 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Cheez-It Grooves Scorchin’ Hot Cheddar Crackers

Cheez It Grooves Scorchin Hot Cheddar Box

“Scorchin’ Hot” sounds like a store brand attempt at a flavor that’s supposed to taste and burn like Frito-Lay’s Flamin’ Hot. Oh wait, it turns out Walmart used it. I guess it’s going to be super awkward when Walmart comes out with a Great Value version of Cheez-It’s new Grooves Scorchin’ Hot Cheddar Crackers that uses the same flavor name.

For those of you who don’t follow crunch snack crackers, Grooves are an offshoot of the Cheez-It line that debuted several years ago. The cheesy flavors that I’ve tried have been decent to good. Although I haven’t tried the Hot & Spicy variety, so I don’t know how “extra hot” these are. When it comes to the crunch, Grooves are somewhere between regular Cheez-It crackers and Wheat Thins.

Cheez It Grooves Scorchin Hot Cheddar Red

This Scorchin’ Hot Cheddar flavor is as light on the cheesiness as any Flamin’ Hot product. It’s not the first thing your mouth will notice when you start eating it. That honor goes to the heat. It’s not Flamin’ Hot-spicy, but it’s more like two or three levels below that.

With products that have the spicy Frito-Lay seasoning, there’s a point where I have to stop because my mouth gets a bit too hot. But with these Cheez-It Grooves, I ate them at a scorching pace without the need for something to soothe my mouth. Of course, your eating speed may vary based on your mouth’s heat tolerance.

But it’s not only hot spices and cheese that I taste. There’s also hints of garlic and onion powder, which are also in Flamin’ Hot seasoning but are much more noticeable with these crackers. While these aren’t as spicy as Flamin’ Hot, they have a more well-rounded flavor. Although I’ve made fun of its name, I do enjoy these crackers.

Cheez It Grooves Scorchin Hot Cheddar Pale

As much as I like this Cheez-It Grooves flavor, I do find the underlying cracker’s paleness to be a bit odd. They are made with rice flour, so I understand why they might be that way, but I don’t remember any other Grooves flavors being so pale. It also doesn’t help that the crackers aren’t entirely coated with seasoning and that its dark red color makes the paleness stands out even more.

Purchased Price: $2.89
Size: 9 oz.
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (18 crackers) 130 calories, 6 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 3 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 270 milligrams of sodium, 19 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, less than 1 gram of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Pepperidge Farm Flavor Blasted Cheddar & Sour Cream Goldfish

Pepperidge Farm Flavor Blasted Cheddar  Sour Cream Goldfish Bag

What are Pepperidge Farm Flavor Blasted Cheddar & Sour Cream Goldfish?

Pepperidge Farm has added a new blasted flavor to the Goldfish tank – Cheddar and Sour Cream.

How are they?

I’m a big fan of Goldfish. I’m an even bigger fan of Cheddar and Sour Cream Ruffles, so consider me stumped.

These are pretty bad.

I don’t really understand why. Cheddar Goldfish are delicious and iconic. I remember loving Flavor Blasted Sour Cream and Onion, so why did I find this flavor so off-putting?

Pepperidge Farm Flavor Blasted Cheddar  Sour Cream Goldfish Bowl

I mean, they do deliver on the premise. They taste like cheese, and they taste like sour. That’s it, sour. I wouldn’t necessarily say “sour cream.” Not really sour cream and onion. They just tasted like sour cheese to me. If the flavor dust of the aforementioned Ruffles could rot, they’d taste similar to these.

I found the flavor to be very sharp. I’m not even talking sharp in the “sharp cheddar” sense, it was just a jolt of aggressively gross flavor that made me recoil, and it took a few more handfuls to mellow out.

Anything else you need to know?

Ok, I’m a total hypocrite because they did get a little more appetizing as I went along. I still managed to eat the bag in three sittings as opposed to my usual one.

Pepperidge Farm Flavor Blasted Cheddar  Sour Cream Goldfish Fishie

Goldfish might be the most addictive snack on this watery rock we live on. I can eat ’em every day, and my mom says that’s ok. Sorry, I just wanted to get that old commercial jingle stuck in your head. I love the fishes ’cause they’re so delicious!

Seriously though, I eat way too many Goldfish. I’m practically up to my gills in Goldfish! My supermarket sells them for two bucks a pop, so I’ve probably had every flavor, and I’m pretty comfortable calling Cheddar and Sour Cream my least favorite. That includes the sweet varieties.

Conclusion:

There are probably five better Flavor Blasted styles of Goldfish on shelves right now. Just get the Flavor Blasted Cheddar. If they have the Sour Cream and Onion, grab those and eat both flavors independently because they don’t seem to mix.

Don’t get lured in by Cheddar and Sour Cream. They should join Luca Brasi and sleep with the fishes.

Purchased Price: $1.99
Size: 6.6 oz bag
Purchased at: Stop and Shop
Rating: 4 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (51 Pieces) 140 calories, 4.5 grams of fat, 0 gram of trans fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 260 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of total carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of total sugars, less than 1 gram of fiber, and 3 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Ritz Cheese Crispers

Ritz Cheese Crispers

Ritz Cheddar Cheese Crispers are better than Cheez-It Crackers.

(I’ll pause to allow you Cheez-It lovers to clickity-clack on your keyboards to type horrible words in my direction because of my blasphemy.)

You may think I was paid to write the opening sentence, but I assure you the money under my mattress was there before I even knew these cheesy potato and wheat chips existed. Oh, I should also mention there’s a Four Cheese & Herb flavor along with the cheddar variety. But since I haven’t had Cheez-It Italian Four Cheese Crackers, I can’t say the Ritz Cheese Crispers version is better.

Ritz Cheddar Cheese Crispers

The cheddar one combines the crispiness of a Ritz Crisp & Thins, the size of Wheat Thins, and Cheetos’ radioactive orange color, but without leaving a layer of cheesy dust on your fingers.

Why do I prefer them over Cheez-It Crackers?

Well, first off, the chips have an airy crispiness that I love biting down upon more than the crunch of crackers. Then there’s a sharp cheddar flavor with a bold zing that tastes even cheesier than Cheez-It Crackers. (NOTE: I haven’t tried the Extra Cheesy Cheez-Its.) I could eat these all day if I had an endless supply of it or if the box was a portal to a dimension that has only Ritz Cheddar Cheese Crispers.

Ritz Four Cheese  Herb Cheese Crispers

The Four Cheese & Herb variety is seasoned with cheddar, Monterey Jack, parmesan, and mozzarella. The only herb I see listed in the ingredients is parsley, but I imagine that’s there for looks, and the actual herb flavor comes from a vague ingredient listed, like spices.

I can’t pinpoint which cheese is which as I eat it, but combined they taste like, and I’ve used this comparison before with other cheesy cracker products, a Totino’s pizza. Much like the other one, I have a hard time putting this down.

Both are extremely snackable, especially the cheddar flavor, but they’re not perfect.

Ritz Cheese Crispers Front and Back

The whole chip isn’t covered with cheesy seasoning, and it’s most noticeable with the cheddar flavor. While one side looks like Chester Cheetah sneezed point-blank on them after stuffing his mouth with Cheetos, the other side is quite naked.

Because almost all the seasoning is on one side, to get the full cheese punch, it needs to be eaten seasoned side down so that it all hits your taste buds. If consumed the other way, they’re less enjoyable.

I imagine some of you will disagree with my belief that Ritz Cheese Crispers are better than Cheez-It Crackers. Some of you will point out that technically I can’t compare the two because one is a cracker and the other is a chip. But if I’m going to reach for a crunchy cheesy snack in the cracker section of the store I’m at, I’m going to grab Ritz Cheddar Cheese Crispers.

DISCLOSURE: I received free samples of the product. Thanks Ritz! But I purchased the product and finished my review prior to obtaining them. To be honest, I don’t think I need to disclose this. Nor will I complain about getting more of these because did you read this review?

Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: 7 oz. box
Purchased at: Times Supermarket
Rating: 9 out of 10 (Cheddar), 8 out of 10 (Four Cheese & Herb)
Nutrition Facts: (21 chips) Cheddar – 140 calories, 7 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, less than 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 240 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, less than 1 gram of sugar, and 2 grams of protein. Four Cheese & Herb – 140 calories, 7 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, less than 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 230 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, less than 1 gram of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Ritz Tabasco Crisp & Thins

Ritz Tabasco Crisp  Thins Bag

What are Ritz Tabasco Crisp & Thins?

They are Ritz’s crispy potato and wheat chips seasoned with, according to the ingredients list, Tabasco Brand Spray Dry Flavoring. That sounds like something teenaged Crisp & Thins would use to coat themselves with before going out, like a perfume or Axe Body Spray for chips.

How are they?

I should preface this by saying my taste buds have enjoyed almost every Ritz Crisp & Thins flavor they’ve come across. The Jalapeno Cheddar one from last year can burn in Hell, which it might be because it was a limited edition. But this Tabasco variety might be my favorite because it apparently can make me forget willpower exists.

Now I don’t want to spread any horrible rumors about me on the Internet, but I may or may not have eaten the entire bag in two hours.

Okay, 90 minutes.

Ritz Tabasco Crisp  Thins Closeup

First off, the chips have that delightful crispiness that comes in second after potato chips. Secondly, the Tabasco flavor rings with every chip. The peppers. The vinegar. The smokiness. I adore these.

These are not only my favorite Crisp & Thins, but they might be the best tasting Tabasco snack I’ve ever had. Although, to be honest, I forgot what other Tabasco-flavored products I’ve had over the years. Obviously, they weren’t memorable, but I will remember Ritz Tabasco Crisp & Thins 4EVA.

Is there anything else you need to know?

I don’t know if I’d consider them spicy because at no point while eating the whole bag in an hour (alright, you got me, it wasn’t 90 minutes!) did I think I could use some cold liquid to calm any heat. But, as we all know, people have different heat tolerance levels, so your experience may vary. However, I did need to drink some because my mouth was parched from eating all those chips in 45 minutes. Dammit!

I was super hungry, okay! And they were just so damn tasty!

Conclusion:

I hate to admit it, but I sometimes forget Tabasco exists. It seems as if it’s a Tapatio and sriracha world right now, with the two attached to so many products. So I’m glad these Ritz Crisp & Thins are there to remind me that the peppery sauce from the McIlhenny Company is still around. Although I do wish these chips had a little more kick to them. But, if you love the flavor of Tabasco, you’ll enjoy these.

Purchased Price: $3.49
Size: 7.1 oz.
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (21 chips/30 grams) 130 calories, 4.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 180 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, less than 1 gram of added sugar, and 2 grams of protein.