REVIEW: Monster Energy Ultra Gold

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Monster Energy Ultra Gold Can

What is the Monster Energy Ultra Gold?

It’s a sugar-free, golden pineapple-flavored energy drink that’s part of the popular Monster Energy Ultra line, which includes such flavors as Watermelon, Fiesta, Rosa, Paradise, Violet, Red, Blue, and Black.

How is it?

Well, I know people are going to disagree with me about this because I’ve had folks tell me that this is one of their favorite Monster Ultra varieties. It’s good, but not great because I wish the pineapple flavor was stronger.

Monster Energy Ultra Gold Closeup

The perfect example of the pineapple potency I wish Ultra Gold had is Pepsi Pineapple. It tastes like I climbed a pineapple tree with a tall glass of Pepsi, grabbed a fruit, sliced off its skin, and squeezed its flesh so that its juice flavored the cola.

I know some of you are going to say I’m completely wrong about the level of pineapple in this energy drink, much like many of you are going to say I’m completely wrong about pineapples growing on trees. But I can taste how it might be just right for others.

(Side note: I find it funny that pines are a type of tree and apples grow on trees, but pineapples grow on short plants.)

Anything else you need to know?

I know it’s just a color, but the Monster Energy Ultra Gold Energy Drink can is a pleasure to stare at. It’s a gorgeous gold. Also, when I look at it, I imagine it’s the result of C-3PO getting recycled.

Conclusion:

Monster Energy Ultra Gold smells divine, but its fruity flavor is too light to my liking. With that said, it’s still a tasty way to get 150 milligrams of caffeine into my bloodstream, and it’s good enough that I would repurchase it.

Purchased Price: More than one should pay on eBay
Size: 16 fl oz can
Purchased at: eBay
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 can) 10 calories, 0 grams of fat, 200 milligrams of sodium, 5 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 2 grams of erythritol, 0 grams of protein, and 150 milligrams of caffeine.

REVIEW: Rockstar Juice TMGS Energy Juice

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Rockstar Juice TMGS Energy Juice Can

What is the Rockstar Juiced TMGS Energy Juice?

It’s the third installment of the Rockstar TMGS line. For those not in the know, TMGS stands for tangerine, mango, guava, and strawberry. It follows the delicious original TMGS and the delightful lime-infused TMGS Twist.

However, unlike the previous two, which were sugar and calorie-free, this version has some sugar and calories because there’s actual fruit mixed into it. Granted, there’s only 8 percent, but that’s enough to boost the beverage’s nutrition facts to 20 calories and 4 grams of sugar.

How is it?

Rockstar Juice TMGS Energy Juice Glass

You’d think adding real fruit would make the already excellent original TMGS even better, but I can’t say it does. The fruit seems to make the beverage a cloudy orange color, which is dramatically different from the original’s cloudy pink.

If you’re familiar with the original TMGS flavor, you’ll have an idea of what this tastes like. The guava and strawberry are the most noticeable, while the tangerine in the background. But the mango is hard to notice.

It’s a tasty start, but then the sweet, tropical goodness lacks staying power. I mean, it’s not as if it’s sort of reverse Jesus-ed in that juice is turned into water. But when I finished the can, I didn’t have the same OMG I love you reaction I get from drinking the original Rockstar TMGS.

I thought I could blame artificial sweeteners, but there were artificial sweeteners in the previous versions, which are more satisfying than this.

Anything else you need to know?

As of this writing, it’s an ampm exclusive, but so were the others because TMGS not only means tangerine, mango, guava, and strawberry, but it also stands for ampm’s slogan, Too Much Good Stuff. That is something I didn’t know with the previous two. So obviously, I have failed Convenience Store Slogans 101.

One last thing. This has 160 milligrams of caffeine, while the previous two had 240 milligrams. Less flavorful AND fewer milligrams of caffeine! Don’t sign me up!

Conclusion:

If you love the original Rockstar TMGS, stick with it for your caffeinated tangerine, mango, guava, and strawberry-flavored needs. Rockstar Juiced TMGS is fine, but it pales in comparison to the original.

Purchased Price: More than one should pay
Size: 15 oz can
Purchased at: eBay (available at ampm)
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 can) 20 calories, 0 grams of fat, 120 milligrams of sodium, 5 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of sugar (includes 0 grams of added sugar), 0 grams of protein, and 16 milligrams of caffeine.

REVIEW: Rockstar Limited Edition Samurai Cola

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Rockstar Limited Edition Samurai Cola Can

What is Rockstar Limited Edition Samurai Cola?

A cherry cola-flavored energy drink that promotes the highly anticipated video game Cyberpunk 2077. It’s a game I will not play because I do not own a machine that can run it, and I’m still nauseous from playing DOOM back in the 90s.

How is it?

It tastes better than Cherry Coca-Cola Energy, which is an energy drink I found to be underwhelming. What’s disappointing about it is that it tastes more like an energy drink than a Cherry Coke. Okay, I imagine some of you are yelling at your screen something like, “Of course, it tastes that way! It’s. An. Energy. Drink.”

I get what you’re yelling, but here’s the thing, energy drink companies, like Rockstar and Monster, are now excellent at making their products not taste like energy drinks. They are using flavor and/or sugar to mask those bitter, energy-giving ingredients. And that’s what Rockstar did with its Samurai Cola, which has a strong, guarana-masking fruity flavor.

Rockstar Limited Edition Samurai Cola Rocks

While I think it’s tasty and easy to drink, I’ll admit some folks might find the syrupy cherry flavor to be a bit too heavy, taking things into cough syrup territory, and the overall taste is a tad below Cherry Coke and Wild Cherry Pepsi.

Anything else you need to know?

240 milligrams of caffeine per can.

Also, T79HC628FHKL and K3928VH6N67X.

Conclusion:

With limited edition products, a question I ask myself is, “Would I want this to come back or be permanent?” My answer for Rockstar Limited Edition Samurai Cola is yes. I enjoyed it, and I feel we need more highly caffeinated colas in the world.

Purchased Price: More than one should pay on eBay
Size: 16 fl oz can
Purchased at: eBay
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 can) 250 calories, 0 grams of fat, 15 milligrams of sodium, 63 grams of carbohydrates, 63 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Starbucks Tripleshot Energy Zero Sugar

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Starbucks Tripleshot Energy Zero Sugar Cans

What is Starbucks Tripleshot Energy Zero Sugar?

Starbucks’ regular Tripleshot line of beverages promises an extra energy boost thanks to added B vitamins, guarana, and ginseng, with the latter two helping to lift the caffeine content to 225 milligrams. The new Zero Sugar line, available in Black and Vanilla flavors, promises all that without sugar.

How is it?

Starbucks Tripleshot Energy Zero Sugar Black

Both flavors pour black. Unlike most Starbucks grocery items, there’s no added milk here. I taste the Black first and am pleased that it’s not overly sweet and without an artificial sweetener aftertaste. The coffee itself is fairly nondescript, without any overtly positive or negative characteristics. It’s not bitter, or astringent, or flat-tasting, but there’s nothing of much interest either.

Starbucks Tripleshot Energy Zero Sugar Vanilla

I tend to agree with those who think Starbucks roasts its beans too darkly, so the roasted flavor dominates and lingers too long for my taste. The same can be said of the Vanilla variety. Although in this case, the vanilla flavor has an artificial character that battles with the dark roast to see which is more slightly off-putting. Both are entirely drinkable, but neither offers anything to highly recommend them.

Anything else you need to know?

In my experience, there are two kinds of people who are perhaps a bit too proud of the coffee they drink. Some will breathlessly tell you about their favorite third-wave tasting studio that just got in a new Yirgacheffe that can only be found on a single Ethiopian hill and must be harvested by the light of the full moon during a leap year. Then there are those who will regale you of the absolute swill they’ve drunk, just the worst dregs imaginable. Maybe it was actually scrapings from a hospital cafeteria grease trap? They don’t know, but they drank it, dammit!

Starbucks regularly earns the contempt of both these groups. Luckily for Starbucks, that leaves the vast majority of coffee drinkers: those who want to be able to go to any random street corner and find a cup of coffee that’s consistent and better than what their Mr. Coffee can produce. The Tripleshot Energy Zero Sugar beverages are for people who like coffee just fine. So if they’re in a convenience store, they might choose it instead of their usual Red Bull.

Conclusion:

As someone with a locally roasted Ethiopian Yirgacheffe on my coffee shelf right now, these Tripleshots taste like decent coffee that’s been allowed to get too cold. It’s not a terrible option if you’re looking for a quick pick-me-up, but it’s not something I’d regularly drink. Then again, I am an unbearable hipster, so your mileage may vary.

Purchased Price: $2.09
Size: 15 fl oz (442 ml)
Purchased at: Woodman’s Market
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 can) 25 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 25 milligrams of sodium, 5 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 0 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Monster Papillon and Khaotic Energy Juices

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Monster Papillon and Khaotic Energy Juices Cans

Much like the other Monster Juice line varieties, the artwork on the new Monster Papillon and Khaotic cans are striking. Both have a common theme — LSD hallucinations, I mean, butterflies.

Khaotic features light use of butterflies, while Papillon (French for butterfly) has large ones in its design. I also thought about putting a line or two about the butterfly effect here, but my brain shut down while attempting to comprehend its Wikipedia. Or I might’ve fallen asleep. I should’ve chugged one of these energy juices while reading it. The 160 milligrams of caffeine in each can might’ve helped.

Khaotic is a reformulation of the original Monster Energy Juice flavor, Khaos. According to the can, the flavor was lightened up, and the juice blend was adjusted. While Khaos has 30% juice, this has just 10%. According to its can, Papillon has a light, subtle flavor with hints of peach and nectarine, and it contains 5% juice.

Monster Papillon and Khaotic Energy Juices Glasses

As you can see in the photo above, both are orange, which might make you wonder whether the poured out beverages are sitting next to their appropriate cans. Is the lighter orange Papillon or Khaotic? Is the darker orange one Khaotic or Papillon? Am I messing with you, and the photo is actually correct? I guess you’ll have to purchase both to find out.

And if you do buy both, neither will disappoint because they’re tasty.

While Papillon’s can mentions peach and nectarine, the ingredients list specifies apple, peach, pear, and pineapple juice concentrates, along with mango and banana purees. Its aroma doesn’t quite smell like peach to me. Instead, my nose detects passion fruit. The flavor is peach-heavy, but at the backend I taste passion fruit, which is odd since the fruit isn’t mentioned on the can. Maybe the tropical ingredients listed give it that flavor.

It’s been a while since I had Khaos, but I remember not being impressed with it. But Khaotic is mighty refreshing, and it sure doesn’t taste like it has less juice. Much like Papillon, it contains a chaotic list of juice concentrates — apple, orange, peach, tangerine, pineapple, and white grape. All those fruits give it a tropical-like flavor, with pineapple and citrus standing out the most. It’s a great flavor, and I like it a tad more than Papillon.

Overall, both are great tasting additions to the Monster Juice line. While I don’t think they overtake my favorites, Pacific Punch and Pipeline Punch, I see myself buying either to mix it up every so often.

Purchased Price: More than I should on eBay
Size: 16 fl oz cans
Purchased at: eBay
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Papillon), 8 out of 10 (Khaotic)
Nutrition Facts: (1 can) Papillon – 200 calories, 0 grams of fat, 190 milligrams of sodium, 50 grams of carbohydrates, 48 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein. Khaotic – 160 calories, 0 grams of fat, 115 milligrams of sodium, 41 grams of carbohydrates, 37 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

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