REVIEW: Jack in the Box Oreo Cookie Ultimate Chocolate Shake

Jack in the Box Oreo Cookie Ultimate Chocolate Shake

This is what Jack in the Box’s mobile app says about its new Oreo Cookie Ultimate Chocolate Shake, “It’s the best of both worlds – our rich old-fashioned chocolate shake with fan-favorite Oreo cookie crumbles mixed in and topped off with whipped cream and a maraschino cherry. You don’t have to thank us for this game changer, but you’re welcome to.”

Game changer, huh?

It’s a chocolate shake with Oreo cookie crumbles in it. “Game changer” is a bit hyperbolic. If this shake is a game changer, then this sentence is the greatest sentence that uses the word “sentence” three times.

Look, if the whipped topping was also chocolate flavored or chocolate mousse, and if the maraschino cherry was chocolate coated, then it might be a “game changer” and worthy of the title “ultimate.” But what’s on top is just the standard white whipped topping and bright red cherry that come with Jack’s other shakes.

Jack in the Box Oreo Cookie Ultimate Chocolate Shake Spoon

With that said, the Oreo Cookie Ultimate Chocolate Shake is as satisfying as Jack’s regular Oreo shake. The combination is a no-brainer, and it tastes exactly how you’d expect — chocolatey with little pops (and crunch) of darker chocolate from the cookie crumbles.

Jack in the Box Oreo Cookie Ultimate Chocolate Shake Topping

Like the word “ultimate” in this menu item’s name, the cherry is also unnecessary. I know it completes the whole shake experience and adds some color to the white whipped topping, but do you know what else would’ve added some color on this particular shake? More Oreo crumbles. As for the whipped topping’s contribution, it somewhat dilutes the flavors of the two headliners, and if I get this shake again, I’ll omit it.

Jack in the Box’s Oreo Cookie Ultimate Chocolate Shake is a perfectly fine dessert but isn’t the most imaginative idea, and it’s not a changer of games. If it came topped with Jack’s Chocolate Overload Cake, it would be the ultimate chocolate shake, and if it came with a couple of Jack’s mini churros lounging at the edge of the cup, that would be a game changer.

Purchased Price: $5.69
Size: Regular
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 790 calories – full nutrition facts unavailable.

REVIEW: Dairy Queen Reese’s Take 5 Blizzard

Dairy Queen Reese s Take 5 Blizzard Top

What is it?

The Reese’s Take 5 Blizzard is the August Blizzard of the Month, and Dairy Queen says it’s the first time ever that its signature treat contains five flavors, even if the math is a little fuzzy, as I’ll explain. This doesn’t contain pulverized Reese’s Take 5 bars but instead mimics the candy with Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, caramel topping, peanuts, and pretzel pieces.

How is it?

It’s a touch disappointing if I’m being honest, and I don’t mess around with dishonesty when I’m talking about Blizzards. Before trying this, I was certain it would land at or near the top of my list of all-time favorites, but it comes up a little short.

Dairy Queen Reese s Take 5 Blizzard Spoon

For me, there’s just a bit too much going on, and perhaps that’s why DQ has never put five ingredients in a Blizzard. And I’m not even counting this as five flavors anyway. In an actual Take 5 bar, there are five parts, as the milk chocolate lovingly embraces and surrounds the pretzels, peanuts, peanut butter, and caramel, while this Blizzard uses peanut butter cups. Yes, I know PB cups contain peanut butter and chocolate, but for reasons I can’t articulate fully, I just can’t count that as two things.

As for how this tastes, the peanut butter flavor gets lost in the mix, which doesn’t quite seem right for something branded as Reese’s. The pretzels do give it a nice salty component to offset the sweetness, but again, the pretzel taste is hard to distinguish as the pieces have the same kind of crunch as the peanuts. And stop me if you’ve heard this before, but the caramel flavor is somewhat sparse because it’s fighting for attention against all its Take 5 friends. The four (or five) ingredients still combine for a pleasant taste experience, but instead of being distinctive, it’s almost more generic, like it should just be called a chocolatey peanutty Blizzard.

Dairy Queen Reese s Take 5 Blizzard Dig

Anything else you need to know?

I guess I haven’t followed candy bar branding closely in recent years because I didn’t realize that this bar was simply called TAKE5 until the “Reese’s” name was added in 2019. Also, Hershey’s needs to hire a proofreader for its website because on the same page, it alternates between a space and no space in TAKE 5 (and the DQ website doesn’t use all caps, so I have no idea what the official name really is). Regardless, Hershey’s has said that the peanut butter in the bar has always been Reese’s since it debuted in 2004.

Conclusion:

Even if you ignore the minor mathematical issues with this Blizzard, it doesn’t quite add up to a perfect 10. It’s good — actually very good — but it’s a classic case of more is not always better.

Purchased Price: $4.49
Size: Small
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (Small) 770 calories, 34 grams of fat, 15 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 580 milligrams of sodium, 99 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of dietary fiber, 76 grams of sugar, and 21 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Burger King Frozen What The Fanta Mystery Flavor

Burger King Frozen What The Fanta Mystery Flavor Slush Cup

Fanta recently unveiled a new line of mystery flavored beverages that are designed to “fool senses and challenge tastebuds with opposite flavor notes.” Read: Fanta is trying to screw with you. Some flavors are appearing in 20-ounce bottles and others are in Coke Freestyle machines or in frozen form at various restaurants. I like to confuse my mouth as much as the next person so I picked up a Burger King Frozen What The Fanta Drink and proceeded to, as the ads put it, “Taste the Unknown.”

Yup, I’m definitely tasting the unknown. It’s a familiar sort of unknown that makes me think I can place it but at the same time, I can’t make a guess with any real confidence. When I ordered, the manager told me it was great and showed me his almost empty cup of the green stuff as proof he drinks it himself. I asked if he had a guess as to the flavor and he offered up “maybe lime something?”

Burger King Frozen What The Fanta Mystery Flavor Slush Top

Mine started out perfectly frozen and a light green reminiscent of the daytime color of objects that glow in the dark. It didn’t smell like much at first and tasted fruity but also kind of creamy. These melt fast and the flavor seems to change as they do. After an initial several sips where I thought I should know the flavor but couldn’t put a name to it I began to think it might be strawberry banana. That’s a combination I only know from eating it in the form of Trix yogurt approximately twice as a child because I hate bananas and would never seek out anything flavored like them. That being said, the banana here (if it’s here at all?) isn’t overwhelming or enough to make me dislike it.

Sticking my nose in the cup after about half had turned to liquid gave me a totally different smell, it was heavier on the vanilla and creamy, maybe even sort of caramely notes. Maybe it’s a strawberry banana cream pie? With a little lime and I don’t know…kiwi? Do I even know what a kiwi tastes like? I feel like maybe when they reveal what this mystery flavor is it could be a fruit I’ve never tasted. Jackfruit! Wasn’t that having a moment a while ago? Jackfruit Shortcake is my official guess based on absolutely nothing.

Burger King Frozen What The Fanta Mystery Flavor Slush Sign

To sum up, this tastes like something that would happen when you mix four flavors at the Slurpee machine but have strategically chosen the flavors in the hopes they won’t clash with one another. It’s a good but not amazing drink and one that I don’t think most people would find objectionable even if they aren’t into the whole “mystery” concept and would rather know what they’re tasting. If you think mystery flavors are fun this one should keep you guessing because I’ve seen people say it tasted like everything from caramel apple to key lime pie and at the price of only $1 it makes for some refreshing summer entertainment.

Purchased Price: $1.11
Size: Medium
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 170 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 mg of cholesterol, 75 milligrams of sodium, 44 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 44 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Sonic Churro Shake

Sonic Churro Shake Cup

Giddy at the prospect of living within a reasonable distance of a Sonic for the first time in my life, I couldn’t wait to make up for lost time by downing the new limited edition Churro Shake. Technically it doesn’t officially debut until August 1st, but us early birds can order now using the Sonic app.

I was greeted by a generous helping of the super-dense, velvety-smooth whipped cream that I always think of as “the good stuff.” That whipped cream, in turn, was topped with a sparkling smattering of cinnamon sugar (plus, like all Sonic shakes, a cherry, though that addition didn’t seem particularly relevant to this flavor).

Sonic Churro Shake Cherry

The shake consists of vanilla ice cream mixed with cinnamon sugar and caramel, but the taste of vanilla definitely packed the strongest punch to me. That might seem disappointing for a treat whose name gives the word “churro” top billing, but honestly, I didn’t think the relative subtleness of the churro-esque elements was a bad thing. Sonic’s vanilla soft serve is so dang good that all a new flavor has to do is complement it, and this shake certainly succeeds. Sure, mine was not quite as brown as the promotional images promise, but cinnamon and caramel are both substances where a little goes a long way, so I still appreciated how they added plenty of extra richness and warmth to this decadent dessert without making it too overbearing.

Of course, another notable discrepancy between the promo image and the shake I was actually served was the namesake itself. In the promo image, the churro peeks jauntily out from the top like a crunchy feather in the shake’s cap. In my shake, the churro was ostensibly AWOL. It’s understandable how something so dense and doughy would sink straight to the bottom, but I couldn’t even see a hint of the sweet snack submerged within. It wasn’t until I caught myself thinking, “What a pleasant churro-inspired shake” mid-sip that it occurred to me that there actually was supposed to be a real churro somewhere in there that was actually intended to be a major component.

Sonic Churro Shake Digging

With some tactical spoon maneuvering, I was able to recover it. It’s a good few inches long and wasn’t the half-hearted mix-in I might have expected. It had the characteristic sweet-with-a-cinnamon-kick flavor, plus that coveted crispy exterior and softer (but not too soft, since it had just gone diving in a lake of ice cream, after all) interior. It’s just unfortunate that there wasn’t really any clear way to enjoy such a large chunk at the same time as the rest of the already-formidably-thick shake, so I had to take a break to munch it down before continuing my slurping. I also could have done with another churro piece or two in there, but hey, I’ll take it.

Sonic Churro Shake Churro Closup

This shake may not be reinventing the wheel (or the cinnamon-and-sugar-dusted snack), but it is extremely delicious. If you’re blessed by proximity to a Sonic like I now am, do yourself a favor and pick one up before it’s gone on September 25th.

Purchased Price: $5.09
Size: Medium
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 960 calories, 46 grams of fat, 29 grams of saturated fat, 560 milligrams of sodium, 120 grams of carbohydrates, 84 grams of sugar, and 12 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Sonic Frychos

Sonic Frychos 1

Am I the only person who has never gotten fries at Sonic?

The fast food chain just has way too many unique things on its menu. I never have any desire to hit an old reliable. I don’t want a burger and fries at Sonic. I want a corndog and tots. I want a chili burrito and whatever “fried vegetable” du jour it’s pumping out as a limited side dish. Sonic would have to do something big with its fries to get me to order them.

What’s that, you say? Nachos with fries instead of tortilla chips?

That does sound distinctly Sonic. I guess it’s time to try Sonic fries.

Sonic’s new “Frychos” consist of fries, creamy cheese sauce, bacon pieces, diced onions, spicy jalapenos, and a zesty “baja” sauce all piled together in a stupidly named hill of slop.

Ok, that’s a little rough, but I don’t like the name. It’s a play on its “Totchos,” which is a good name, and I don’t have any better suggestions, but when it comes to “Frychos,” I think they chos wrong.

I like to think the old Sonic guys would have made that line work, but they got replaced by random people who pale in comparison, so we’ll never know.

But I digest…

As you might expect, nachos with fries substituted for chips would be pretty hard to screw up, but Sonic did try. While I found the overall flavors mostly worked well together, there were some major flaws.

I expected the fries to be instantly soggy despite being told they were “crispy,” and I was right. They essentially just mashed together into a giant fry ball and made it difficult to eat, even with a fork.

Sonic Frychos Fork

I’m of the opinion that jalapenos enhance almost everything, but I think they completely swallowed up whatever flavor “baja sauce” is supposed to be. I loved the heat and crunch they brought, but at no point did I notice any “baja” bite. If anything, that just got blended into the cheese, which was nice despite not really being nacho flavored.

The onions didn’t need to be there. You’re already getting a little veggie crisp from the peppers, and their flavor was also lost completely.

Sonic Frychos Bacon

The bacon pieces were definitely the main attraction. Midway through, I realized that nachos without crispy chips don’t work nearly as well, but the bacon pieces were so crispy that they almost made up for it.

Overall, I’d say Frychos are ok. Not bad. They never screamed “Nachos!” They just tasted more like a decorated side of sweaty cheese fries, and unfortunately, I still don’t actually have a good gauge on the flavor and texture of a Sonic fry.

Sonic Frychos Fries

Frychos are only available through the app, so I’d recommend tinkering with the ingredients. Go light on the sauce, and ax the onions. You can even add chili if you’re feeling frisky.

If you end up grabbing these, stop there because this is a hefty, substantial meal on its own. Also, literally stop there and eat in one of the designated parking spaces because I don’t think these would survive the drive home without turning into a congealed wad of regret.

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: N/A
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: Not available on site.