QUICK REVIEW: Limited Edition Unicorn Power Frosted Cherry Pop-Tarts

Limited Edition Unicorn Power Frosted Cherry Pop Tarts

What is it?

Another iteration of the Instagram-fueled trend of almost-too-pretty-to-eat unicorn-themed foods.

Despite its mythical theme, Kellogg’s went with a pretty tame flavor choice for this, utilizing cherry filling and royal icing emblazoned with the image of a majestically poised unicorn head.

How is it?

They’re alright.

Were you expecting me to say something more?

At the end of the day, they’re Cherry Pop-Tarts. If you like cherry toaster pastries, then there’s no reason why you wouldn’t like these. The outer shell of each tart has the same crisp sturdiness that I’ve come to expect from such treats, and I felt its slight saltiness helped keep the cherry filling from tasting too sweet.

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Even so, the cherry flavor isn’t prominent. It’s red, and I can tell that it’s a fruit filling, but if you told me this was a strawberry or raspberry Pop-Tart, I would believe you.

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On top of Kellogg’s total lack of flavor creativity, I also feel the need to call out its decorating skills. Since the icing is the only aspect that’s genuinely unicorn-themed other than the box itself, I expected some pretty elaborate art. Instead, both designs are a bare-bones edible ink stamp that barely covers half of the surface area of each tart. On top of that, they’re both blurry, and they look worse than the multicolored sprinkles that frosted Pop-Tarts are usually sprinkled with.

Totally not Instagramable!

Is there anything else I need to know?

Even though I prefer my fruit-filled Pop-Tarts to be served cold, I ended up liking these more once they were warmed in the toaster oven, partly because warm food on cold mornings is one of the greatest simple pleasures in life, but mostly because I could pretend the cherry filling was magical unicorn blood.


Don’t let the pretty box fool you – Unicorn Power Pop-Tarts are far from anything special. Even though they’re as acceptable as any other cherry toaster pastry, they aren’t worth trekking to Sam’s Club to pick up, and they’re not nearly interesting enough to make me want to finish the 32-count club pack I bought.

Purchased Price: $5.98
Size: 1 lb. 13.3 oz. (32 pastries)
Purchased at: Sam’s Club
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 pastry) 200 calories, 45 calories from fat, 5 grams of total fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 170 milligrams of sodium, 38 grams of total carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, 16 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

QUICK REVIEW: Limited Edition Chocolatey Winter Lucky Charms Cereal

Limited Edition Chocolatey Winter Lucky Charms Cereal

What is it?

General Mills has launched a new festive cereal just in time for the holidays.

Except that it isn’t new. Chocolatey Winter Lucky Charms is just regular Chocolate Lucky Charms with the marshmallows from last year’s Cinnamon Vanilla version.

How is it?

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I am disappointed that this cereal is so unoriginal. But I’m not that disappointed, because Chocolate Lucky Charms is great, and I would even say it’s better than the original. It’s OK dry, but it creates chocolate milk, which makes consumption delightful.

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I wonder if this cereal is an attempt to be a hot cocoa flavor, since it already has the essential elements of chocolate and marshmallow. So I heated up some milk and ate it in a mug. The marshmallows became foamy and dissolved, just like the marshmallows in a packet of Swiss Miss. It takes a lot of cereal to make the milk chocolatey, but this would be a comforting breakfast or snack when it’s actually cold outside (i.e. not September).

Is there anything else I need to know?

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This cereal contains my biggest yuletide pet peeve: eight-pointed snowflakes. Snowflakes only have six points, people! It’s basic science!

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Scientific inaccuracy aside, I cannot possibly think of anything more appropriate for someone to eat while watching The Leprechauns’ Christmas Gold.


If you’re looking for something new, this isn’t what you want. But it’s a fun tweak to a classic cereal.

Purchased Price: $3.64
Size: 21.2 oz. box
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (3/4 cup) 100 calories, 10 calories from fat, 1 gram of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 0.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 150 milligrams of sodium, 65 milligrams of potassium, 23 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of dietary fiber, 10 grams of sugar, 12 grams of other carbohydrates, and 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Limited Edition Apple Pie Oreo Cookies

Limited Edition Apple Pie Oreo Cookies

I’ve run into the same problem almost every time I’ve had a particular discussion – what is the quintessential American food? Due to the melting pot nature of our country, everything seems to be imported, or even worse, STOLEN, from somewhere else.

The first food that comes to mind is the iconic burger, but nope, that one goes to Otto Kuase, in Hamburg, Germany. There’s New York’s pizza, taken from Italy, San Francisco’s burritos, adapted from Mexico, Los Angeles’ sushi, taken from Japan. You get the picture. All of our staples are a result of our acceptance, inclusion, (and colonization – yikes) of all types of cultures.

But apple pie, nothing is more American than apple pie, right? Wrong! Even apple pie, which is considered so American it was used as motivational propaganda for BOTH World Wars was brought over by the Dutch and Swedes during the 18th century. Can we do anything for ourselves?

Yes, yes we can. American’s can claim the Oreo, the shining sandwich star that has been the top dog of all factory cookies since 1912, as truly American. Since a burger Oreo would be pretty gross, next in line for a purely patriotic collab is apple pie, and that’s exactly what we got – apple pie creme in graham wafer cookies.

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The smell-o-vision on these Oreo is fantastic – immediately and unmistakably apple pie with sharp fruity apple and spicy sweet cinnamon jumping out of the package. Sometimes the golden wafers can overpower my initial sniff and taste impression of a new Oreo and I’m glad they went with graham here as I’m not getting any unnecessary vanilla sweetness, just pure apple power.

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Crunching into these circular slices of American hope and dreams is nothing short of a relaxing countryside morning full of perfection. The flavor starts with fresh, tart, juicy apple and quickly turns to cinnamon before finishing with smooth, golden, and slightly earthy graham notes. There are hints of caramel and a wonderful balance of sweetness that’s kept in check by the bursts of acidity brought by the apple. The overall profile is very true to the sweet-yet-tart nature of apples and is deliciously convincing as a cookie.

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The creme on this pie-eo is also softer and creamier than a lot of other varieties. It’s more like what I expect from a Trader Joe’s Joe-Joe. There’s a certain unctuous-ness that’s pleasant and draws immediate comparisons to gooey fresh apple pie filling. This Oreo isn’t tame, and it might not be for everyone, but I love it and think they nailed the execution.

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While last year’s Blueberry Pie was one of my favorites flavor-wise, it’s pretty hard to capture true blueberry flavor in a factory setting. These Apple Pie guys not only deliver a great sweet snack, but seamless flavor emulation to boot.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 cookies – 140 calories, 60 calories from fat, 7 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 70 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 12 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $3.29
Size: 10.7 oz.
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 10 out of 10
Pros: Big, authentic tart apple flavor. Slight cinnamon spiciness. Perfectly balanced sweetness. Mellow earthy graham finish. Soft fresh creme.
Cons: They don’t come a la mode.

REVIEW: Hostess Limited Edition Pumpkin Spice Twinkies

Hostess Limited Edition Pumpkin Spice Twinkies

Is that photo on the Hostess Limited Edition Pumpkin Spice Twinkies box supposed to be appetizing?

My goodness, it’s like watching meat come out of a meat grinder. Or a pig being born. Or Vienna sausage being made. It’s like staring at potted meat. Don’t know what potted meat is? For all that is holy, DON’T LOOK IT UP!

The thing is, in real life, the filling doesn’t quite look like mangled flesh. It has a very light pink hue with red specks. But it’s so light that in some lighting situations it looks grey. So I guess this is one of those cases where what it actually looks like is better looking than what’s on the packaging, but barely.

The filling is supposed to remind you of pumpkin pie. When I closed my eyes, I’m reminded of POTTED MEAT! That image on the box has burned itself onto my brain. Now I feel as if I should go stare at Spam to get the image of potted meat out of my head.

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Of the spices you’d find in pumpkin pie, the only one listed in the ingredients is cinnamon. Of course, there’s natural and artificial flavoring that fill in for the other spices, but I’m glad Hostess spent a little scratch to include real cinnamon. But even with real cinnamon, it doesn’t have have a pumpkin spice flavor that pops. It doesn’t have a flavor that makes me say, “Hey honey, you know that whole tradition of eating pumpkin pie at Thankgiving? Let’s forget that and replace them with these Twinkies.”

But if you were celebrating National Cinnamon Day (a day that, surprisingly, with all the fake food holidays, doesn’t exist) these Twinkies would be an awesome way to get your Cinna-on.

One last thing about the flavor, there’s an artificial sweetener aftertaste even though there aren’t any listed in the ingredients. It reminded me of the taste in my mouth after eating a pumpkin spice-flavored light yogurt.

As for the “golden sponge cake,” it tasted like a regular Twinkie, but something seemed different about its texture. Maybe they weren’t as spongy as I remember. Maybe I got a bad batch. Maybe the box I bought was around since last year. Or maybe Twinkie the Kid is cutting corners so that he has extra money to buy whatever drug he smokes/snorts/shoots that makes him so damn happy all the damn time. I don’t know. Although its texture was different, the cake had that same Twinkies greasiness that we all know and love not to get on our hands because it will get all over our smartphone screens.

Overall, Hostess’ Limited Edition Pumpkin Spice Twinkies are okay if you’re into cinnamon or light pumpkin spice yogurts, but eating them won’t be a yearly tradition for me.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 cakes – 260 calories, 70 calories from fat, 8 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 350 milligrams of sodium, 44 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 28 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Item: Hostess Limited Edition Pumpkin Spice Twinkies
Purchased Price: $2.97
Size: 10 cakes
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Cinnamon-y. Looks better in real life than on the packaging.
Cons: Pumpkin spice flavor doesn’t pop; it’s almost all cinnamon. Sponge cake had a weird texture; not as spongy. Artificial sweetener aftertaste. Image of creme on the box looks unappetizing. Getting Twinkies grease on our phone screens. Potted meat haunting me.