REVIEW: Mix by Sprite: Tropic Berry

McDonald s Mix by Sprite Tropic Berry

Like many surly teenagers in the 90s with nothing better to do than loiter, I hung out way too many hours for my own good at the Target up the block from my house. The electronics department was a social hub for most of the boys in the neighborhood due to the fact that they had every current gaming system out in the open and set on free play. None of that demo nonsense that Sears did.

This was all well and good until the one of the managers would let us know in no uncertain terms that we had to buy something or leave. Squeezing every last minute of gameplay we could, those of us with a few spare quarters would pool together about 75 cents to buy a bottle of this new beverage that was seemingly only available at Target: Clearly Canadian.

With its sticky sweet, syrupy “clear” taste that mingled deliriously with a decidedly crisp berry sensation, we passed the bottle around like grade school hoboes warming themselves around an 8-bit barrel fire. Looking back, it was a flavor out of and ahead of it time, especially during the crystal cola wars of the 1990-somethings. Sure, after pounding three or four at a time, it gave us the worst headaches and a little bit of nausea on the way home to dinner, but for that price to stay and play, who gave a good gosh-darn.

It’s been a flavor sensation that I have been nostalgically chasing for almost 20 years and, while I always knew it would be those flavor wizards at Sprite that would probably be the ones to resuscitate that drinkable emotion, I had no idea it would be found on accident while I was looking for the Hi-C Orange Lava Burst cold filtered water button on a McDonald’s drink fountain.

McDonald s Mix by Sprite Tropic Berry 2

Going by the fake corporate DJ nom de plume of Mix by Sprite: Tropic Berry, this is most definitely the second coming of that Mountain Berry or Western Loganberry Clearly Canadian if there ever was one, right down to the high-fructose headache after excitedly slurping two large-sized cups of the carbonated beverage when, as an adult, you should really know better.

The typical lemon-lime zest of Sprite that we’ve come to expect is pushed down the taste scale pretty low to point of being barely noticeable as the artificially-flavored tropical (which tropic though?) berry (which berry though?) dominates proudly. It also comes complete with a tongue-coating aftertaste that will definitely call for at least a full cup of PowerAde Mountain Berry Blast cold filtered water to swig around as you leave the restaurant. Or Wal-Mart, if you’re in nasty and/or in Oklahoma.

McDonald s Mix by Sprite Tropic Berry 3

Mix by Sprite: Tropic Berry is definitely worth tracking down and most definitely worth the taste, if only for curiosity’s sake. While it is far too sickly sucrosed-up to be an everyday thing, it’ll make for a delightful once a week treat as you nosh on a Big Mac and fries. Just keep that bottle of aspirin on the ready. ¡Cómpralo ya!

(Nutrition Facts – (small only) – 100 calories, 0 calories from fat, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 55 milligrams of sodium, 27 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 27 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $1.00
Size: Large
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Great berry taste. Surprisingly crisp. Extremely refreshing.
Cons: Can be too much of a sweet thing. Bad aftertaste.

REVIEW: Mtn Dew Ice

Mtn Dew Ice

The whole “translucent soda” thing isn’t exactly the freshest idea. Nor is it exactly a novel turn for the Mountain Dew brand, which already went clear in 2015 with the limited time only DEWShine. Which, by the way, is still being sold in convenience stores down here in Atlanta, despite the product allegedly being discontinued over a year ago.

Alas, this newfangled Mtn Dew Ice isn’t exactly the same old same old. It’s an all-new Mountain Dew variation that boasts of a lemon-lime flavor and (direct quote, right off the label) “a splash of real juice.” Or, as the ingredients list puts it, “clarified lemon juice concentrate,” which I suppose is accurate enough to keep the F.D.A. off their heels.

So obviously, Mtn Dew Ice is an attempt to cut into Sprite’s customer base (apparently, Mist Twist hasn’t been up to the task). And at first taste, I’m not sure how to describe the product. After a couple of preliminary swigs, I reckoned the stuff tasted like regular Dew, albeit a little thinner and slightly less sugary. By the time I got halfway through the bottle, though, I started to pick up that advertised “lemon-lime flavor” – which, yes, is pretty much a dead ringer for the aforementioned Mist Twist.

Mtn Dew Ice 2

What we’ve ended up with is a beverage with a serious identity crisis. It’s probably a bit of a stretch to say Mtn Dew Ice is basically the merger of Mountain Dew with Mist Twist, but it’s still close enough to get the gustatory point across. Instead of giving us a more Sprite-like Mountain Dew variation, Pepsi has bestowed upon us a beverage that tastes like it’s a 50/50 split between the two.

Even weirder, it’s like the two dueling tastes refuse to gel with one another. Sometimes when I take a sip, there’s a more pronounced Mountain Dew vibe and with others I swear I took a gulp of Sprite.

There’s been some caustic feedback about the product’s artificial sweeteners, but to be honest I didn’t notice anything out of the norm. While, again, it does taste slightly less sweet than normal Mountain Dew, it’s significantly sweeter than Sprite. So if that’s a turnoff for you, don’t say you weren’t warned.

Mtn Dew Ice 3

Aesthetically, there isn’t much to look at – you know, because the soda itself is the same color as Crystal Pepsi, Tab Clear, and any of the Zevia cola offerings. The packaging isn’t all that impressive either – a light green palette with a few swatches of black and yellow here and there. But the canned iteration of the drink looks a bit snazzier.

While fairly predictable (if not flat-out boring) in taste and presentation, Mtn Dew Ice is a good (but not great) soft drink. Outside of the whole “it’s a caffeinated version of Sprite” hook, I’m afraid there isn’t much worth going out of your way to experience here.

(Nutrition Facts – 20 ounces – 160 calories, 0 grams of total fat, 90 milligrams of sodium, 41 grams of total carbohydrates, 41 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $1.49
Size: 20 oz. bottle
Purchased at: Kroger
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: It’s a decent citrus-flavored cola with an all right caffeine kick. The hybrid Mountain Dew/Mist Twist taste is definitely intriguing. I guess it won’t stain the carpet as badly if you spill it?
Cons: The competing flavors never really come together all that harmoniously. The packaging is lame. Wondering if Pepsi meant for it to subconsciously remind consumers of Smirnoff Ice or if it’s just me?

REVIEW: Coke Freestyle 2017 Holiday Mixes (North Pole Magic and Arctic Chill)

Coke Freestyle 2017 Holiday Mixes

One of the more understated junk food rites of the holiday season has to be Coca-Cola’s seasonal Freestyle mixes. Since they’re not ubiquitously marketed like everything else Coke does, they always seem to sneak up on you as quaint, L-T-O surprises at the local cineplex or friendly neighborhood Burger King.

Well, if you fancied previous seasonal flavors like Secret Santa and Mistletoe Flow, you’ll probably get a yuletide kick out of the latest additions to the Coke Freestyle family – the aptly named North Pole Magic and Arctic Chill.

Aesthetically, there isn’t much to say about either beverage. They both have a pleasant, reddish brown hue, with the Arctic Chill variation looking lighter than North Pole Magic. In terms of scent, they smell practically identical – as soon as your olfactory glands whiff the drinks, the aroma is unmistakable. You’ve got orange, you’ve got vanilla and you’ve got something else that you can’t quite put your finger on for the initial sniff. But that becomes very apparent once the drinks start tangoing with your taste buds.

Coke Freestyle North Pole Magic

We’ll start with North Pole Magic (NPM) because it’s the stronger of the two (both in terms of figurative quality and literal flavor). The beverage tastes pretty much the same way it smells. I’ve read some Internet posts that say NPM is one part vanilla, one part cherry, and one part root beer, but I beg to differ. To these tastebuds, anyway, NPM is one part Coca-Cola, one part orange creme and one part vanilla – in short, sherbet-flavored Coke.

In all my years I’ve never once imagined what a Yabba Dabba Do Orange Flinstones Push Up-flavored Coca-Cola variation would taste like, but I’ll be tickled pink if NPM isn’t one of the most delicious Coke permutations I’ve tasted in quite some time. This stuff is too yummy to be relegated to those bright red touchscreen terminals – Coke definitely needs to put this in bottle and can form come next Christmas.

Coke Freestyle ArcticChill

Arctic Chill (AC) – which is fighting under the less calorie-dense Coca-Cola Zero umbrella – is pretty much the same thing as NPM, except…well, not as flavorful.

I hate to use the term “watered down,” but that’s precisely what AC tastes like compared to NPM. It’s still pretty good, but the Coke Zero taste completely overwhelms the sherbet flavor. In fact, you only get the sherbet flavor as a ghostly aftertaste – almost as if you were drinking a Coke Zero in a cup somebody momentarily used as a holster for a creamsicle for about five seconds. Again, it’s not a bad soda by any stretch, it’s just that compared to NPM it feels like a mild imitation.

Regardless, you really can’t go wrong with either flavor. And Coke definitely needs to be commended for thinking outside the box for these holiday mixes – thank goodness they eschewed the all too predictable gingerbread and candy cane flavors in favor of one that’s great, no matter the time of year.

(Nutrition Facts – Not available.)

Purchased Price: $1.69
Size: 20 oz. cup
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 8 out of 10 (North Pole Magic)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Arctic Chill)
Pros: A robust, creamsicle flavor. You’ve got options if you’re trying to count calories. The theoretical ability to combine each flavor with Diet Dr. Pepper and peach Sprite, because Y.O.L.O.
Cons: Arctic Chill tastes pretty watered down compared to North Pole Magic. Only being able to drink the sodas at the movies or while you’re shopping at the grocery store. Wondering how much it would cost to bribe the store to look the other way while you fill up a water cooler jug.

REVIEW: Star Wars Space Punch

Star Wars Space Punch

Star Wars is one of the highest grossing and beloved film franchises of all time. While the actual movies are the biggest draw for most fans, the amount of merchandise and branded junk food that have come from the series is unreal.

Star Wars collaborated hard with the fast food industry, creating toys and limited items with Burger King, McDonald’s, KFC, and Taco Bell. They’ve had their own boxes and shapes of Cheez-Its, Pop Chips, and Doritos. They’ve even made their own breakfast cereal and chocolates, and now, ahead of the release of The Last Jedi, they wanna quench your thirst too.

When I stumbled across Space Punch in the grocery store, I was shocked it wasn’t an energy drink. The shape, style, and placement of the cans immediately screamed Red Bull. But upon closer inspection they proudly sport “caffeine free” above the nutritional information, and low sugar to boot.

Star Wars Space Punch 2

The punch comes in twenty different character-specific cans, and choosing one is a feat. Channeling my inner-assassin I had to go with Boba Fett, even though the golden C-3PO looked real fresh.

Rather than get you artificially boosted and bouncin’ off the walls like Yoda in a deep training session, Space Punch aims to nourish you from within with a sparkling mix of vitamins and hydration to achieve ultimate Jedi zen.

So what the hell does punch in space taste like? According to the ingredients, it should taste like blackberry, blueberry, carrot, grapefruit, orange, pear, and raspberry. Wow. That is quite the combo – my brain is spinning and about to explode like the Death Star on a bad day.

Star Wars Space Punch 3

As much as I love the juice concentrates listed, I’m not a big fan of this drink. It has nice light effervescence to it, reminiscent of many energy drinks, but the taste is artificially sweet and akin to liquefied chewable vitamins. The aroma even makes me wonder if I’ve stuck my nose straight into a bottle of Flintstones’ finest.

The blackberry and raspberry notes are surprisingly more dominant than the citrus. But the most prominent taste is that of the primary sweeteners erythritol and stevia. There’s a sharp and unpleasant fake aftertaste that washes out any of the more subtle and nuanced clean flavors of the actual fruit juice, and the blending of the two is not something I want to drink more of.

For what it lacks in taste, it doesn’t deliver that much of a vitamin boost either. It has 40-50 percent of your daily recommended Vitamin B6 and B12, and that’s pretty much it. While it’s a fun idea for collectors and might be appealing to people who enjoy Vitamin Water Zero, I would much rather pop a vitamin with a glass of water, and leave this to fizzle out in a galaxy far, far away.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 can – 20 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 0 milligrams of sodium, 16 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 12 oz. can
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Awesome collectible cans. Nice tight bubbles.
Cons: Strong fake sugar flavor. Not much vitamin boost. No caffeine. Does not turn you into a Jedi.

REVIEW: Mountain Dew Holiday Brew

Mtn Dew Holiday Brew

I, for one, hope this holiday-themed Dew trend continues. Hot on the heels of the oh-so-patriotic DEW.S.A. from earlier this summer, PepsiCo’s now hoisting Mountain Dew Holiday Brew on us, which could be the tip of the iceberg.

Why not release a special Dew variation for President’s Day called Grape-raham Lincoln? Or a special edition Mountain Dew Rosh Hashanah Raspberry while they’re at it? (I can see the tagline already – “you’ll want to Yom Kippur another one.”)

While we’re probably a few years away from that Thanksgiving tie-in Pecan Pie Mountain Dew or a special Saint Paddy’s brew (might I suggest the namesake Dew-U-I?), we can all take solace in the fact this year’s Christmas/Chanukah/Kwanzaa/New Year’s/Wright Brothers Day-themed beverage ain’t too shabby.

Mtn Dew Holiday Brew 2

As the product name and hue would lead you to believe, this special edition Holiday Brew is apparently one half Mountain Dew Code Red and one half regular old Dew. The beverage looks a little pinker than Code Red, though, and it doesn’t smell that much like either variation of Mountain Dew (I personally got a pureed cake batter vibe from mine, but your olfactory glands may detect something else.)

But taste-wise is where things get very interesting. As soon as the beverage hits your tongue, the taste is unmistakable – this stuff is Code Red Mountain Dew, straight up, with no additional flavorings. BUT when the aftertaste hits you, WHAM! It’s unmistakably the traditional green Dew flavor we’ve been slurping on forever. So we’ve got this downright bizarre mouthfeel thing going on where every five seconds or so, the flavor of the beverage shifts from Code Red to traditional Dew.

I can’t recall ever tasting a soda that did that, not even the aforementioned DEW.S.A. Whereas that tri-branded brew created a new synthesized flavor, the divergent flavors of Holiday Brew are pretty much locked in gustatory mortal combat – and that one-of-a-kind sensation might be worth purchasing the newfangled soda all by its lonesome.

Of course, if you never cared for either permutations of Dew in the past, I guess the prospects of Code Red Dew and normal Dew having a liquid kung fu fight on your tongue probably won’t convert you as a consumer.

I can’t say that Dew and Code Red Dew combined results in a better product than either as stand-alone beverages, but as far as Franken-sodas go, it’s still quite flavorful. That, and it opens the floodgates for even wackier novelty sodas in the future. Come on, Pepsi – you know you want to combine Pitch Black and LiveWire as All Hallow’s Eve Dew. You just KNOW you do. Or is that dew?

(Nutrition Facts – 20 ounces – 290 calories, 0 grams of fat, 110 milligrams of sodium, 77 grams of total carbohydrates, 77 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $1.49
Size: 20 oz. bottle
Purchased at: Circle K
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: The alternating citrus/cherry flavor is unlike anything you’ve probably tried before. It’s a very thick and filling beverage. The packaging is festive.
Cons: It really doesn’t taste any better than Code Red or regular Dew. The cross-pollinated flavors aren’t as harmonious as DEW.S.A. Wondering which two brands Pepsi’s going to merge together for the inevitable Bastille Day Berry.