QUICK REVIEW: Sonic Sweet Pretzel Twist

Sonic Sweet Pretzel Twist

What is the Sonic Sweet Pretzel Twist?

Sonic’s convoluted menu has a new snack for those two dudes to ramble on about – the Sweet Pretzel Twist.

How is it?

Let me preface this review by stating that soft pretzels are easily one of my favorite foods in the world. I may very well be overrating Sonic’s new Sweet Pretzel Twist. That being said, this twist is pretty amazing.

The texture is spot on. It’s right where you’d want a soft pretzel to be. The outside is buttery with a mild crisp that makes way for a soft, warm doughy interior.

Sonic Sweet Pretzel Twist 2

It’s not BLASTED with cinnamon sugar like you’d think. It’s definitely less sandy than a cinnamon pretzel from Auntie Anne’s, but it’s just about as buttery, which makes for a delicious sweet and salty merger. Don’t worry though, it’s still sweet and you still get plenty of cinnamon, it’s just not complete overkill.

It’s also a perfect size. While it goes down in five bites max, it’s satisfying and you won’t feel like you just ate a lead doughball.

Is there anything else you need to know?

Sonic Sweet Pretzel Twist 3

The pretzel comes with Cinnabon cream cheese frosting. It’s good, but I found it to be unnecessary. Save the icing cup for something else and just enjoy the pretzel on its own.

Oh, and honestly, it kinda looks like Mr. Hanky. So, there’s that.

Conclusion:

If I were a God*, my ambrosia would be soft pretzels. Yeah, I may aim low, but I adore them. I consider them to be in the ballpark of pizza, where even the worst, not-so-soft pretzel is still satisfying. For me to rate these this high, they must be good. Right?

This is going to become a staple in my diet. While I’ll probably go for the regular pretzel most of the time, the Sonic Sweet Pretzel Twist is stellar, and well worth stopping for.

*Still waiting for my 23andMe results.

Purchased Price: $1.99
Size: N/A
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (NOTE: Sweet nutrition is unavailable for some reason. The following is for the regular Pretzel Twist) 250 calories, 60 calories from fat, 7 gram of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 440 milligrams of sodium, 39 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 6 grams of sugar, and 7 grams of protein.

QUICK REVIEW: Sonic Footlong Philly Cheesesteak

Sonic Footlong Philly Cheesesteak

Update: Click here for a review of Sonic’s Extra Long Ultimate Cheesesteak.

What is the Sonic Footlong Philly Cheesesteak?

This month’s order of footlong coney buns must’ve been way over because Sonic is obviously trying to get rid of all that bread before it goes bad. The solution? Throw some chopped steak and melted cheese in there and, Hell, just call it a Philly cheesesteak. Add a reasonable $3.99 price-tag while you’re at it.

How is it?

While not the best Philly cheesesteak you’ll ever have in your life — not even close, bud — it’s still a pretty good attempt by a fast food chain to basically reverse engineer a cult sandwich to fit their own deliciously perverse vision of what a cheesesteak is and should be.

Sonic Footlong Philly Cheesesteak 3

I ordered the Classic option, consisting of grilled steak and onions, “melty” cheese sauce and warm mayo all slapped together, Philly-style, on a footlong coney bun.

Sonic Footlong Philly Cheesesteak 4

While it might not sound great — it doesn’t look that great either as you unseal it from its paper tomb — it actually is a delicious mess of meat and cheese. But the most surprising development from all this…that mayonnaise here is fan-freaking-tastic. I thought it wouldn’t work but, you know, it really brought the whole sandwich together.

Is there anything else I need to know?

There’s also a “Spicy” variation, containing the grilled meat and onions and the “melty” cheese, but with the extra addition of “zesty” Baja sauce and “spicy” jalapenos. I was intrigued, sure, but if I want to Baja sauce my food, I’m going to make a run for the border and trust the bad hombres at Taco Bell for that. Lo siento, Sonic.

Conclusion:

Sonic Footlong Philly Cheesesteak 2

Available for an oh-so limited time, the Sonic Footlong Philly Cheesesteak is a tasty little treat that’s worth trying at the very least once. It won’t replace your Geno’s or Pat’s, but what possibly could? Still, it’s one of the better fast food attempts at a Philly cheesesteak around; just ask for a little extra mayo on the side for some lascivious dipping.

Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: N/A
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 750 calories, 39 grams of fat, 16 grams of saturated fat, 125 milligrams of cholesterol, 1710 milligrams of sodium, 53 grams of carbohydrates, 1 grams of fiber, 5 grams of sugar, and 46 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Sonic Pickle Juice Snow Cone Slush

Sonic Pickle Juice Snow Cone Slush

Pickles.

They’re just one of those things that are inherently funny. They don’t even have to do anything; just the fact that they exist is amusing. (Kind of like cats, noses, and octopuses.)

One thing (out of many) that makes them funny is their polarizing qualities. Pickle is one of the food fads du jour, but plenty of people can’t stand them.

I like pickles, but I’m no fanatic (I like to get pickle products mostly to gross out my pickle-hating friends). I think the cukes’ silliness is the main reason they’re having their heyday. Because of this, I think Sonic’s new Pickle Juice Snow Cone Slush is primarily a marketing gimmick to make people laugh.

I don’t eat in my car, so I went to a Sonic with a dining area. When I walked in, I said to the cashier, “Can I get a…” and she finished my sentence: “Pickle slush?” She thought I chose small because I wasn’t a risk taker, but the fact is that I just can’t eat that much slushiness.

I told her I was trying it for this review, and she asked if I was going to put in a pickle spear, instead of a decorative umbrella. I was disappointed when she said they didn’t actually offer pickle spears with the drink. What a missed opportunity, Sonic!

Sonic Pickle Juice Snow Cone Slush 2

When I took my first sip, I thought, “Yep. That’s totally pickle juice.” It’s exactly what you would expect to find in a jar of dill pickles—a tart, acidic flavor.

But by my second sip, I thought, “Yep. That’s totally a Sonic slush.” See, even though dill pickles are a savory food, this is still a sugary slush. I have had shaved ice that had pickle juice flavoring, and it was just like pure pickle juice, not sweet at all. But Sonic’s version is just as sweet (or almost as sweet) as their other flavors. I’ve heard of serious athletes using pickle juice as a recovery drink, but this slush is no health food.

Personally, I enjoyed it, and I liked it more than I probably would have if it weren’t sweet. The dill and the sweetness didn’t clash as much as you might expect. It was refreshing.

Sonic Pickle Juice Snow Cone Slush 3

I got a cheeseburger with my slush, and since there were no actual pickles in the slush, I transferred a couple of pickle slices to the drink. But I don’t recommend it; the sweetness didn’t match the real pickles, and I don’t like chewing cold things.

I can’t help wondering who this is for. If you don’t like pickles or pickle juice, then you won’t like it. And if you love pickle juice, you will be disappointed that it’s so sugary. I guess it’s for people who are somewhat apathetic about pickles, who like sweet slushes, and who enjoy trying weird foods.

I might get it again, but only because of its utter weirdness. It’s not any better than the other Sonic flavors.

(Nutrition Facts – Not listed on Sonic’s website, but a small Slush without any flavoring contains: 180 calories, 0 calories from fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 grams of cholesterol, 30 grams of sodium, 48 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 48 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $1.49
Size: Small
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Sweet and refreshing. Dill flavor doesn’t clash with the slush as much as you might expect. Pickles are hilarious.
Cons: Not a health food. Doesn’t come with pickles. Who is it for, exactly?

REVIEW: Sonic Blast made with Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups & Peanut Butter Flavor Funnel

Sonic Blast made with Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups & Peanut Butter Flavor Funnel

EXT. SONIC PARKING LOT – DAY

SONIC GUY 1 and SONIC GUY 2 sit in a convertible.

SONIC GUY 1: “I really like these new Sonic Blast Flavor Funnels.”

SONIC GUY 2: “Why are you saying ‘Sonic’ like I don’t know they’re from Sonic? We’re literally at Sonic.”

SONIC GUY 1 smiles uncomfortably.

SONIC GUY 2: “Hold up, didn’t Ben & Jerry’s and Dairy Queen basically just make these?!”

SONIC GUY 1: “Shut up man, they’ll hear you! Don’t ruin the gig! Haha, he’s just joking around, boss.”

FADE OUT.

Those cornballs have been making commercials since 2004!

Sonic the Hedgehog is only 12 years older than those ads. The Seattle Supersonics – who feel like they’ve been gone forever – became the OKC Thunder in 2008! That’s how long these dudes have been shilling for America’s Drive-In.

Sonic Blast made with Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups & Peanut Butter Flavor Funnel 2

If you’ve seen our heroes lately, they’ve probably been promoting Sonic’s new “flavor funnels” because Ben and Jerry made “Cores,” and Dairy Queen made “Royal Blizzards,” and that’s just what competing companies do these days. Anything you can do, I can do the same! The new trend is ice cream companies jamming a thin vein of flavor through their flagship products, and pretending its ground breaking.

Sonic took their already existing “Blasts” and shot everything from caramel to Oreo crème to peanut butter down the middle, because why not?

I chose the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup Blast with the peanut butter flavor funnel, because why not?!

The Blast’s base was vanilla ice cream that was neither offensive nor impressive. It was fine. Bits and pieces of Reese’s cups were blended in, which is never a bad thing.

Sonic Blast made with Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups & Peanut Butter Flavor Funnel 3

Once I choked down the whipped cream I wish wasn’t there, the tan flavor funnel core peaked out in all of its Jules Vernian glory. At first glance it was a sight to behold. Then, I tasted it.

The peanut butter’s texture left a lot to be desired. It was gluey, with a consistency somewhere between syrup and Jif Whips. I don’t know what I was expecting, but I don’t usually like my peanut butter to be wet. It didn’t help that while trying to get a nice balance of ice cream to funnel, I ended up basically eating half the funnel in one bite. Said bite was extremely overpowering, and the tiny bits of chocolate didn’t counterbalance it at all.

Sonic Blast made with Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups & Peanut Butter Flavor Funnel 4

I dug down to see if the funnel reached the bottom of the cup, and it stopped about half way. It was half a funnel! Half of “funnel” is “fun.” That’s not fun!

I only ate about 1/3rd of the Blast, and I’m pretty sure I consumed the entire funnel. Sonic’s website lists the sizes as mini, small, medium and large, but they didn’t even ask, and just gave me the “one size kills all.” It was disgustingly massive.

I paid the over five dollars by card, so I felt bad when the Carhop rolled over and I didn’t have a tip for her on hand. I’d be remised if I didn’t give props to Sonic as well as Venice Beach and old guy hockey leagues for keeping roller blades alive, though.

Look, I’m not gonna say there’s much wrong with vanilla ice cream, weird peanut butter and Reese’s, but this funnel gimmick was completely unnecessary. The Blast sans funnel is probably more satisfying.

To be fair, I only had the one flavor, and you can add as many toppings as you please, so the other flavors might be bigger hits than this one. I may go back for a mini Oreo at some point.

(Nutrition Facts – Large – 1880 calories, 840 calories from fat, 94 grams of total fat, 62 grams of saturated fat, 305 milligrams of cholesterol, 1160 milligrams of sodium, 233 grams of total carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, 203 grams of sugars, and 27 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $4.39 + $.50 for the Flavor Funnel add-on
Size: Large
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: It’s ice cream and Reese’s. It’s the lazy man’s DQ Blizzard. Sonic Guys making bank. Carhop delivery.
Cons: Weird overpowering peanut butter funnel. Absolutely massive Styrofoam cup. Not enough chocolate bits. Expensive. Look at the nutrition facts for a large. Shawn Kemp and Gary Payton are the REAL Sonic Guys.

REVIEW: Sonic Ultimate Chicken Club Sandwich

Sonic Ultimate Chicken Club Sandwich

In olden times, Sonic was the bee’s knees.

Their cherry limeades were refreshing, you could assault your tater tots with a respectable kind of chili and a delightfully processed cheese-product, and their burgers were served both hot and fresh. (Oh, and the foot long chili-cheese coneys. Man, those things were boss.) The carhops skated their way to your door with a smile, the milkshakes were of out-of-sight, and former teen idol Frankie Avalon was all over their advertising spots imploring you to drive in and stuff your face with nostalgic abandon.

Then everything fell apart.

Frankie left to go do, I don’t know, Frankie Avalon things. The smiling carhops were replaced with an unwholesome blend of surly teens and recent parolees. The food quality —once an oasis of flavor in a sea of grey-meat, limp-French fried fast food inequity — fell off. And then, you know, those two dudes showed up blabbering inanely in their car.

But look, get ready because Sonic is changing the game, you guys. Enter The ULTIMATE CHICKEN CLUB. (All caps mine, and added for emphasis.) I mean, it’s got “ultimate” RIGHT there in the name, so you know it’s legit. In fact, why aren’t you eating one right now?

Well, I’ll tell you why you aren’t: because it’s a swing and a miss.

Now, it’s not a “swing and totally miss, spin in a cartoon circle and fall on your butt” kind of thing. Maybe it’s akin to a foul tip or perhaps a valiant effort on a devastating curveball.

If you’re familiar with the concept of a “club” sandwich, you know what’s going on here — it mostly means someone added bacon and tomatoes. Sometimes there are toothpicks and diagonal cutting involved, but generally not on fast-food chicken sandwiches.

Sonic Ultimate Chicken Club Sandwich Toppings

Anyway, in this case, it was cold black bacon and mealy garbage tomatoes. They rounded out this trip to Terror Town with some inoffensive, but useless, shredded lettuce, a thin, runny mayo (they claim is was black peppercorn mayo, but they’ve given me no reason to take them at their word), a sweaty slice of flavorless cheddar cheese, and a tempura-ish battered chicken breast filet that was as thick as a new package of loose-leaf notebook paper and just as delicious.

This sandwich was, in 13 words, a loose conglomeration of mediocre ingredients melded together in an orgy of disappointment. It tasted like a flavorless collection of toppings atop a bland chicken-block. Your uncle Gary does better at his Memorial Day cookouts, to be sure.

Really, the best thing this sandwich had going for it was the soft, fresh brioche bun, because it’s like that old adage goes, “everything’s better on brioche.”

Sonic Ultimate Chicken Club Sandwich Cross-section

There wasn’t anything new or interesting here, but honestly, that’s fine and it wasn’t the problem. Not every limited time fast food offering needs to reinvent the wheel. Let’s leave the stuffing and cramming and nachofication of America to those zany R&D people at Taco Bell. But in the meantime, you can win a lot of points with a solid chicken club sandwich. If you’re gonna do it, though, do it well. And if the execution leaves so much to be desired, maybe think about canning the “Ultimate” tag.

(Nutrition Facts – 1000 calories, 580 calories from fat, 64 grams of fat, 15 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 gram of trans fat, 100 milligrams of cholesterol, 2070 milligrams of sodium, 65 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of fiber, 12 grams of sugar, 39 grams of protein..)

Purchased Price: $4.79 (sandwich only)
Size: N/A
Purchased at: Sonic
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Respectable brioche. Frankie Avalon. Nostalgia. It’s fairly sizable.
Cons: As tasty as notebook paper. Burnt bacon. Sweat-cheese. 1,000 calories! The two annoying dudes blabbering in the car may have killed Frankie Avalon, we don’t know that they didn’t.