REVIEW: Sonic Reaper Spicy Margarita

Sonic Reaper Spicy Margarita

What is the Sonic Reaper Spicy Margarita?

As a part of Sonic’s somewhat innovative line of supposed non-alkie “mocktails,” the Reaper Spicy Margarita takes everything alcohol-lovers enjoy with a classic margarita, subbing the usual tequila with, what the Hell, the absolute terror of liquefied Carolina Reaper Peppers.

How is it?

As cold and satisfying as the Reaper Margarita is on the first sip, almost immediately, the fires of a demonic inferno are quickly unleashed on the insides of your mouth, burning your tongue, numbing your nose, and scalding your throat, causing anyone with a well-worn grip on their remaining senses to throw this drink down on the ground, cursing the heavens with a closed fist in a most stupid fit of self-imposed rage.

Sonic Reaper Spicy Margarita Top

While there is an extremely slight citrus-flavor that is hovering around, it is practically impossible to taste over the mouth-destroying Reaper additives, a garden-peppery coating the slowly moves down the throat in a esophageal thrashing that’s normally reserved for Saturday night at the taqueria, not for a Tuesday afternoon getting a Sonic Happy Hour treat on the way home from work.

Sorry guys, but this just doesn’t work; I mean, for real: who is this drink for?

Is there anything else you need to know?

The night I forcibly drank about half of this, the scalding belches and burps continually seared my gutwerks with each gastric devil-bubble that traveled up my throat. Consequentially, I ended up downing about two or three rather large gulps of Pepto-Bismol just to cool my aching body-tubes.

Conclusion:

Sonic Reaper Spicy Margarita Lid

Anyone who knows me knows how much I truly enjoy the spicier things in this life. Give a roundhouse kick of heat on just about everything I eat, please. That being said, I truly get what Sonic is trying to do here, but, if I’m being honest, this isn’t a drink as much as it is a novelty dare. The mix should be sold on page 35 of the Archie McPhee catalog, not at my local Sonic Drive-In. Maybe, just maybe, it would work if the Scovilles was brought way down, maybe to level it a bit more evenly with the sugar. But, as for now, it’s too little, way too hot.

Purchased Price: $1.79 (each)
Size: Small
Rating: 1 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 190 calories, 0 grams of fat, 230 milligrams of sodium, 51 grams of carbohydrates, 50 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Sonic Red Bull Slush

Sonic Red Bull Slush Cup

What is the Sonic Red Bull Slush?

If you’ve ever chugged a Red Bull — America’s favorite energy drink, second only to Ol’ Glory, of course — and thought to yourself “Gee, I wonder what this would taste like moderately frozen,” here is your chance to live your frosty dreams, courtesy of the Sonic corporation.

How is it?

Sonic Red Bull Slush

I was thoroughly excited to try this recent breakthrough in energy technology, so I ordered a small original flavor from my local Sonic. At first sip, the common Red Bull flavor is wonderfully there, a sharp stab to the senses that does a great job of momentarily perking the user up.

Sadly, the comedown is almost immediate, with a distinct backwash and aftertaste of what I can only describe as frozen mouthful of used dishwater. How the taste can do a 180 degrees like that is far beyond my pay grade, but any excitement of two great products coming together is quickly done away, leaving me with a three-dollar cup that’s too pricey to dump out.

Is there anything else you need to know?

If the Sonic Red Bull Slush is still something you desperately need to down, try to do it between two to four p.m. to take advantage of the chain’s Happy Hour. I, unfortunately, was thirty minutes early and paid full price. Additionally, it’s also available in a cherry limeade slush as well.

Conclusion:

Sonic Red Bull Slush Strawless

I would send this one back to the labs, Sonic. The nonplussed aftertaste is just far too much to deal with, leaving me with a sour stomach that swirled with burning acids that couldn’t be cooled down no matter how much icy slush was involved. Guess its back to the regular small can of Sugar-Free Red Bull for me.

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: Small
Rating: 2 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (Small) 180 calories, 0 grams of fat, 50 milligrams of sodium, 48 grams of carbohydrates, 48 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Sonic Brunch Burger

Sonic Brunch Burger

For quite a while now, one of my favorite burger toppings has been that of a fried egg, usually sunny-side up, always sitting on top of the sizzling meat and cool cheese, the sticky ovum running down your face and hands with every sensual bite. It’s usually worth the extra dollar charge to the bill.

It’s a singular treat of mostly gourmet burger spots. Almost none of the bigger fast food joints around town have even attempted an egg-drenched burger, except Jack in the Box. But now Sonic adds itself to this short list with its new Brunch Burger, available for a limited time only at $2.79 with a single-patty, which is more than enough.

Made with the usual Sonic burger platitudes including an undoubtedly 100-percent pure beef patty, crispy bacon strips, and a gooey layer of melted cheese, the Brunch Burger throws in a pillow-soft brioche bun and, for good measure, a fried-egg of sorts. They all come together in Sonic’s grand effort to serve the underserved between breakfast and lunch, even if people have securely had brunch for years.

Still, even though I went against dining protocol and had it for dinner, I’d have to say Sonic is mostly successful in creating a somewhat decent substitute for true brunch.

Sonic Brunch Burger Eggs

While the meat is juicy, bacon is salty, and cheese gunky — and yes, the brioche bun is a definite somewhat sweet improvement — the real tipping point here is the egg which, as you might have guessed, isn’t of the sunny-side-up variety but rather of the rubbery McMuffin sort. That means it’s a large pressed disc of what I believe to be an egg, professionally shaped and heartlessly cooked.

Sonic Brunch Burger in Half

A good-enough spanner in the usual burger works, the egg, when combined especially with the cheese and large slice of tomato adds a nice bit of tasty roughage to the meal, a heated-wet goodness that can’t be denied. The meat I can give or take, especially when Sonic’s mouth-puckering bacon overtakes it. Thankfully, this brioche bun does an excellent job of tying it all together with its dull sweetness and makes it work rather well.

Overall, it’s a good attempt at a classy fast food burger. Do I wish it was a proper sunny-side up egg? Sure, I bet we all would. But, whatever it is, it can’t be any worse than the new Cherry Limeade Mimosa, which is a disappointing blend of limeade and orange juice.

The Brunch Burger would be a decent treat on a Wednesday morning (or evening), but on a Sunday, just head down to your favorite uppity bistro for its omelet, grapes, and champagne-infused drink specials instead. Cómpralo ya!

Purchased Price: $2.79
Size: Single
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 510 calories, 33 grams of fat, 21 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 190 milligrams of cholesterol, 1100 milligrams of sodium, 27 grams of carbohydrates, 7 grams of fiber, 7 grams of sugar, and 29 grams of protein.

QUICK REVIEW: Sonic Fritos Chili Cheese Jr. Burger

Sonic Fritos Chili Cheese Jr Burger

What is the Sonic Fritos Chili Cheese Jr. Burger?

Surely you’ve had a Sonic Jr. Burger at least once in your life, right? The Fritos Chili Cheese variation is precisely how it sounds: a small Sonic burger topped (or bottomed, I guess) with crunchy Fritos and mild chili, delicately ladled in a most un-Texas-like fashion for a moderately tasty burger.

How is it?

Growing up in the Lone Star State, just about every ballgame, birthday, and baptism had the opportunity to down a Frito pie or two. So it’s one of the rare things on this Earth that, sadly, I know all too intimately. And while yes, this is Sonic’s attempt to mimic it and call it its own, it isn’t quite there yet, at least when it comes to the whole burger thing.

Sonic Jr. burgers are always a delicious pick me up for just a couple of bites, and the Fritos and chili certainly don’t take anything away. But once you get a good look at how chintzy they are with the cheap chili con Fritos, you might ask why Sonic even bothered.

Sonic Fritos Chili Cheese Jr Burger 2

Lightly dripped on the bottom bun with a small handful of Fritos, you’d do better to just order at Sonic Jr. Burger and go across the street to the convenience store and add a quarter bag of Fritos and some free cheese from the dispenser.

Is there anything else you need to know?

Even though the Sonic Fritos Chili Cheese Jr. Burger is a slightly delicious dud, the chain is also offering, for 99 cents each, a small Fritos Chili Pie and a Fritos Chili Cheese Jr. Wrap. While they look a bit more suitable for the Frito/chili/cheese product, due to their low price point, it’s probably more than likely they’ll have about as much junk (or lack thereof) as the burger.

Conclusion:

Sonic Fritos Chili Cheese Jr Burger 3

For a $1.99, it’s mostly alright for the sparseness that you get. Sure, it’s something they’d kick you out of Texas for if the good ol’ boys in Austin ever find out, but until something with more Fritos and even more chili comes along, I guess it’ll have to do, partner.

Purchased Price: $1.99
Size: N/A
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: Not available at press time.

QUICK REVIEW: Sonic Sweet Pretzel Twist

Sonic Sweet Pretzel Twist

What is the Sonic Sweet Pretzel Twist?

Sonic’s convoluted menu has a new snack for those two dudes to ramble on about – the Sweet Pretzel Twist.

How is it?

Let me preface this review by stating that soft pretzels are easily one of my favorite foods in the world. I may very well be overrating Sonic’s new Sweet Pretzel Twist. That being said, this twist is pretty amazing.

The texture is spot on. It’s right where you’d want a soft pretzel to be. The outside is buttery with a mild crisp that makes way for a soft, warm doughy interior.

Sonic Sweet Pretzel Twist 2

It’s not BLASTED with cinnamon sugar like you’d think. It’s definitely less sandy than a cinnamon pretzel from Auntie Anne’s, but it’s just about as buttery, which makes for a delicious sweet and salty merger. Don’t worry though, it’s still sweet and you still get plenty of cinnamon, it’s just not complete overkill.

It’s also a perfect size. While it goes down in five bites max, it’s satisfying and you won’t feel like you just ate a lead doughball.

Is there anything else you need to know?

Sonic Sweet Pretzel Twist 3

The pretzel comes with Cinnabon cream cheese frosting. It’s good, but I found it to be unnecessary. Save the icing cup for something else and just enjoy the pretzel on its own.

Oh, and honestly, it kinda looks like Mr. Hanky. So, there’s that.

Conclusion:

If I were a God*, my ambrosia would be soft pretzels. Yeah, I may aim low, but I adore them. I consider them to be in the ballpark of pizza, where even the worst, not-so-soft pretzel is still satisfying. For me to rate these this high, they must be good. Right?

This is going to become a staple in my diet. While I’ll probably go for the regular pretzel most of the time, the Sonic Sweet Pretzel Twist is stellar, and well worth stopping for.

*Still waiting for my 23andMe results.

Purchased Price: $1.99
Size: N/A
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (NOTE: Sweet nutrition is unavailable for some reason. The following is for the regular Pretzel Twist) 250 calories, 60 calories from fat, 7 gram of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 440 milligrams of sodium, 39 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 6 grams of sugar, and 7 grams of protein.

QUICK REVIEW: Sonic Footlong Philly Cheesesteak

Sonic Footlong Philly Cheesesteak

What is the Sonic Footlong Philly Cheesesteak?

This month’s order of footlong coney buns must’ve been way over because Sonic is obviously trying to get rid of all that bread before it goes bad. The solution? Throw some chopped steak and melted cheese in there and, Hell, just call it a Philly cheesesteak. Add a reasonable $3.99 price-tag while you’re at it.

How is it?

While not the best Philly cheesesteak you’ll ever have in your life — not even close, bud — it’s still a pretty good attempt by a fast food chain to basically reverse engineer a cult sandwich to fit their own deliciously perverse vision of what a cheesesteak is and should be.

Sonic Footlong Philly Cheesesteak 3

I ordered the Classic option, consisting of grilled steak and onions, “melty” cheese sauce and warm mayo all slapped together, Philly-style, on a footlong coney bun.

Sonic Footlong Philly Cheesesteak 4

While it might not sound great — it doesn’t look that great either as you unseal it from its paper tomb — it actually is a delicious mess of meat and cheese. But the most surprising development from all this…that mayonnaise here is fan-freaking-tastic. I thought it wouldn’t work but, you know, it really brought the whole sandwich together.

Is there anything else I need to know?

There’s also a “Spicy” variation, containing the grilled meat and onions and the “melty” cheese, but with the extra addition of “zesty” Baja sauce and “spicy” jalapenos. I was intrigued, sure, but if I want to Baja sauce my food, I’m going to make a run for the border and trust the bad hombres at Taco Bell for that. Lo siento, Sonic.

Conclusion:

Sonic Footlong Philly Cheesesteak 2

Available for an oh-so limited time, the Sonic Footlong Philly Cheesesteak is a tasty little treat that’s worth trying at the very least once. It won’t replace your Geno’s or Pat’s, but what possibly could? Still, it’s one of the better fast food attempts at a Philly cheesesteak around; just ask for a little extra mayo on the side for some lascivious dipping.

Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: N/A
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 750 calories, 39 grams of fat, 16 grams of saturated fat, 125 milligrams of cholesterol, 1710 milligrams of sodium, 53 grams of carbohydrates, 1 grams of fiber, 5 grams of sugar, and 46 grams of protein.