REVIEW: Haagen-Dazs Cultured Creme

I wonder if Chobani influenced Häagen-Dazs to think outside of the freezer aisle. For years, Chobani was known as a yogurt company, but then it used its dairy knowledge to develop other products, like coffee creamers and cold brew. Häagen-Dazs has been known as an ice cream brand with a made-up name for decades. But now it’s using its dairy expertise to take up some space near Chobani’s turf with its new yogurt Cultured Crème.

They look like yogurt, and you will find them in the yogurt aisle, but the word “yogurt” doesn’t appear anywhere on the label. While traditional yogurt uses milk as the main ingredient, these use crème fraiche. According to General Mills, the product utilizes a fermentation process that is up to five times longer than traditional yogurt to create a thick, creamy texture reminiscent of ice cream. It also uses a unique blend of dairy cultures that offer a smoother taste experience, unlike the slightly sour flavor of traditional yogurt.

Currently, six flavors are available: Black Cherry, Blueberry, Coffee, Lemon, Strawberry, and Vanilla Bean. They come in four-ounce containers, which seem slightly stingy compared to the 5.3-ounce Chobani and six-ounce Yoplait containers.

The Blueberry, Strawberry, Black Cherry, and Lemon varieties mostly taste like yogurt I’ve had from other brands. However, something about them makes them slightly more enjoyable than any yogurt I’ve had. Is it the cane sugar or the use of actual fruit and fruit juices? I’m not sure. All four have fruit pieces in them, although I didn’t notice the pulp in the lemon one. Also, these are smoother tasting than Greek yogurt, but there’s still a noticeable tanginess.

While the tang isn’t weird with the fruity flavors, it’s odd and maybe slightly more noticeable in the Coffee variety, which is made using cold brewed coffee. Its taste is similar to coffee ice cream but with some tanginess. While I’m fine with it and think it’s a great flavor, I can taste how some folks might be turned off by it.

As you can see, I don’t dislike any of them, but I was surprised by my favorite of the bunch — vanilla bean.

It’s the best tasting vanilla product in the yogurt aisle I’ve ever had. There are vanilla bean specks throughout, and as it goes down my throat, it sometimes tastes like I’m eating vanilla ice cream. Also, the tang gives it a cheesecake-like flavor most of the time. Of the six flavors, it’s the one that tastes most like a dessert than something yogurt-like. I scraped the container’s sides with a spoon and licked the foil lid to get every bit of it. That’s how much I loved it.

With all that said, the name, Cultured Crème, confuses my gut microbiome. Does it contain live and active cultures? Unlike most yogurt, it doesn’t say it anywhere. So am I getting any health benefits while eating these, or are these just sugary desserts in the yogurt aisle? While I’m unsure if these are great for my digestive system, they do taste great and are worth trying.

Purchased Price: $2.00 each
Size: 4 oz containers
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Vanilla Bean), 7 out of 10 (all others)
Nutrition Facts: (1 container) Black Cherry – 190 calories, 11 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 45 milligrams of cholesterol, 55 milligrams of sodium, 19 grams of carbohydrates, 16 grams of sugar (including 10 grams of added sugar), and 4 grams of protein. Blueberry – 200 calories, 11 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 45 milligrams of cholesterol, 60 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 17 grams of sugar (including 11 grams of added sugar), and 4 grams of protein. Lemon – 200 calories, 11 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 45 milligrams of cholesterol, 65 milligrams of sodium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 20 grams of sugar (including 15 grams of added sugar), and 4 grams of protein. Strawberry – 190 calories, 10 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 40 milligrams of cholesterol, 60 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 16 grams of sugar (including 11 grams of added sugar), and 4 grams of protein. Coffee – 200 calories, 11 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 45 milligrams of cholesterol, 55 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 18 grams of sugar (including 13 grams of added sugar), and 4 grams of protein. Vanilla Bean – 190 calories, 11 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 45 milligrams of cholesterol, 55 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 17 grams of sugar (including 12 grams of added sugar), and 4 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Yoplait Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Cocoa Puffs, Lucky Charms, and Trix Yogurts

Yoplait General Mills Cereals Yogurt Cups

I admit I am an uncreative snacker. I’m not the sort of innovator who finds new uses for familiar products. A loaf of bread does not inspire sandwiches or (gasp!) recipes; I’m likely to eat it slice after dry slice.

Okay, my snacking habits are not that dull, but I am still grateful for products that do the thinking for me. Yoplait General Mills Cereal Yogurts fall into this category, pairing low-fat flavored yogurts with crunchy cereal toppings. Varieties include Cinnamon Toast Crunch with cinnamon vanilla yogurt, Cocoa Puffs with vanilla yogurt, Lucky Charms with vanilla yogurt, and Trix with strawberry yogurt.

Each container comes with a lid that separates the cereal from its yogurt companion. The lids contain about 1/4 cup of cereal, with the total product size weighing 4.27 ounces. (For reference, a standard single serving container of Yoplait yogurt is 6 ounces.) As a light snack or meal accompaniment, they are the perfect size.

I tried all four varieties:

Cinnamon Toast Crunch

Yoplait Cinnamon Toast Crunch Yogurt Cup

This variety gets extra points for the cinnamon vanilla yogurt. I couldn’t find the flavor referenced on Yoplait’s website, so I believe it is unique to this line. At first glance, it looks like plain vanilla, but it has a hint of mellow spice and tastes like Cinnamilk. The texture is smooth but a little watery — a trend that will follow with the other varieties. The Cinnamon Toast Crunch neither dilutes nor overwhelms the yogurt’s cinnamon flavor, all while maintaining its perfectly crunchy texture.

Yoplait Cinnamon Toast Crunch Yogurt Spoon

Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (4.27 ounce container) 130 calories, 1.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, less than 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 100 milligrams of sodium, 26 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 17 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.

Cocoa Puffs

Yoplait Cocoa Puffs Yogurt Cup

Another solid pairing, this variety is like an elevated bowl of Cocoa Puffs because the cereal’s cocoa flavor does not overshadow the mild vanilla yogurt. Both flavors are discernible when eaten together. The yogurt itself is smooth and refreshing, but loose-textured.

Yoplait Cocoa Puffs Yogurt Spoon

Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (4.27 ounce container) 130 calories, 1 gram of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, less than 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 85 milligrams of sodium, 27 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 17 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.

Lucky Charms

Yoplait Lucky Charms Yogurt Cup

Although the vanilla yogurt in the Cocoa Puffs and Lucky Charms varieties have identical flavors, the serving in my Lucky Charms cup was considerably thicker and creamier. Texture-wise, it was the best of the bunch. Did someone at the yogurt factory switch the texture setting from “meh” to “mmm”? Is Lucky’s magic responsible? The mascot elf’s cereal bits and marshmallow pieces provide a sweet crunch to this product, but the overall flavor profile is a little, well, vanilla.

Yoplait Lucky Charms Yogurt Spoon

Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (4.27 ounce container) 130 calories, 1 gram of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, less than 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 110 milligrams of sodium, 26 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 17 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.

Trix

Yoplait Trix Yogurt Cup

This variety is the least successful due to the strawberry yogurt, which lacks flavor and is so thin that it turns to liquid in the last bites. The little strawberry flavor I detect clashes with the Trix’s artificial fruitiness. Even the Trix Rabbit might pass on this one.

Yoplait Trix Yogurt Spoon

Rating: 4 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (4.27 ounce container) 130 calories, 1 gram of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, less than 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 95 milligrams of sodium, 27 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 17 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.

Yoplait General Mills Cereal Yogurts offer convenience and a decent flavor variety for consumers looking for a quick, tasty treat. Of course, you could easily achieve your own preferred flavor and texture combinations with a box of cereal, a tub of yogurt, and the right portable storage containers. But when your cereal goes stale and those containers warp in the dishwasher, these cereal yogurts will be here for you.

Purchased Price: $1.12 each
Purchased at: Walmart

REVIEW: Yoplait Go-Gurt Mystery Flavor

Yoplait has introduced a mystery flavor Go-Gurt. A staple of school lunches everywhere, I applaud Yoplait’s efforts to add some mystery and wonder for kids who bring home lunches. Why should kids who line up for the cafeteria’s Tuna Surprise be the only ones to question what they’re really eating?

Yogurt is so ubiquitous on supermarket shelves these days that younger readers may not know how much of a fringe food it once was. The only person who knew about it was your granola-eating aunt, who maybe smelled a bit weird. These days she’s busy brewing her own CBD-infused kombucha. It certainly wasn’t something kids would want to eat.

However, load it with sugar, artificial flavoring, and put it in a fun delivery mechanism, and kids will love it! And parents will think it’s a healthy treat. Which is all to say that Go-Gurt was an innovative product when it was first introduced.

I haven’t seen a tube of yogurt in my lunch since grade school, so I don’t know what to expect from this. The white color doesn’t aid me in guessing the mystery flavor, which is frustrating because I’m going to need all the help I can get. I squeeze some out onto a spoon and am surprised to see that there’s enough modified corn starch and gelatin to keep its tubular shape. I take a taste and ponder the mystery.

Mint cotton candy?

Gosh, I’m bad at this. It’s not a typical fruity flavor, so I’m at a loss for a few moments, then it hits me: bubblegum! My pack-a-week gum habit saves me! It’s odd to have a flavor so specific to one product in another, but I’m fairly sure of my guess. I’m also sure that it doesn’t work as a yogurt. There’s not enough tang to balance out the taste, so it seems flat.

These days the market is crowded with a multitude of yogurt options, from Greek to Icelandic to Bulgarian, and even kids varieties tend to claim they’re organic, or with less sugar, or naturally flavored, or something. I’m a bit confused but also impressed that the full sugar Franken-yogurt of my childhood has lasted this long. But then again, what is yogurt but milk persevering?

I tried the Strawberry flavor as well, which tasted more like the yogurt I remember. Go-Gurt is a solid product, but the bubblegum(?) flavor doesn’t work as a yogurt flavor.

Purchased Price: $3.96
Size: 32 oz box (16 tubes)
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (3 tubes) 150 calories, 1 gram of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, less than 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 75 milligrams of sodium, 29 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 22 grams of sugar, 18 grams of added sugar, and 6 gram of protein.

Click here to read our previous mystery flavor product reviews.

REVIEW: Yoplait Go-Gurt Slushie

Yoplait Go Gurt Slushie Box

What is Yoplait Go-Gurt Slushie?

It’s Yoplait’s kid-targeted yogurt, Go-Gurt, in its signature squeeze tubes, but this time in a slushie variation with yogurt that’s charged up with some carbon dioxide to make it fizzy.

How is it?

Yoplait Go Gurt Slushie Closeup

I’m not sure what exactly happened here.

There are fun graphics on the front of a delicious red-flavored ice beverage like we just hit up the nearest 7-Eleven. The yogurt flavors have descriptors to drive home this new yogurt experience. This isn’t just cherry Go-Gurt, this is FIZZY cherry Go-Gurt! Heck, there is even carbon dioxide listed in the ingredients!

Yoplait Go Gurt Slushie Ingredients

However, I’m baffled as I don’t get a lick of fizz in these. Core Go-Gurt-wise these are tasty, don’t get me wrong. They have a touch of fun corresponding color and good berry and cherry flavor. They are a little sweet but probably perfect for a kid’s taste buds. However, there is nothing remotely fizzy, even if I close my eyes and try to imagine it. Nothing!

Anything else you need to know?

I was so saddened and perplexed by the lack of fizz that I went out and bought regular ol’ Go-Gurt to compare, thinking that I was missing something. Upon further examination, these slushie ones do have a lighter consistency, almost as if they were aerated slightly. They just don’t feel as heavy as the regular, so I guess they do have that going for them.

Conclusion:

If you were hoping for the popping sensation of Pop Rocks or even the tingling mouth feel of a freshly opened soda, prepare to be let down.

This is a neat concept with fun graphics to boot, but I’m not sure what happened on the execution. The yogurt seems to be aerated a bit, but it’s minuscule if that. An A for effort, but these need to go back to the drawing board as they are just solid kid’s yogurt in grab-and-go tubes.

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 1 lb box/8 tubes
Purchased at: Harris Teeter
Rating: 4 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (3 tubes) 150 calories, 1 gram of fat, less than 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 75 milligrams of sodium, 29 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 22 grams of sugar and 6 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Yoplait Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Trix Smoothies

Yoplait Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Trix Smoothies

What are Yoplait Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Trix Smoothies?

More cereal-themed crossovers! This time, yogurt drinks! Actually, no, technically this time “cultured dairy beverage”! YUM!

With all these branded crossovers, 2020 has me wondering, are cereal brands and candy brands the consumer goods version of The Avengers? Is this the year we get so fully inundated by crossovers that the only remaining option is an Endgame-style product that contains them all? Did I just make such a weakly constructed comic reference that caused half of you to angry? POSSIBLY!??

How are they?

?
Yoplait Trix Smoothies

The Trix smoothie is remarkably close in flavor to its cereal counterpart. I suppose we have the magic of modern flavor technology to thank for that. Although it LOOKS like a glass full of Pepto Bismol (maybe there’s a fun April Fools trick buried in there somewhere), the smoothie has a pleasant strawberry lemon fruity flavor and an enjoyable Trixmilk after taste.

The tangy cultured yogurt works really well with the fruit flavors, in my opinion. The texture is smooth, creamy, and very drinkable. My only qualm is that its so sweet you’d think you were gulping down Trix-flavored frosting.

Yoplait Cinnamon Toast Crunch Smoothie

The Cinnamon Toast Crunch beverage smells exactly like opening a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch Cereal and has delightful little visible specs of cinnamon. I’m also a sucker for the psycho/adorable cinnamon toast square cartoon characters the brand has adopted recently.

The flavor isn’t as strong in cinnamon as I would have expected, and because of that, I don’t think it matches the cereal flavor as well as the Trix version does. This one is sort of like a yogurt horchata. There’s a stronger, blander, vanilla yogurt taste.

Is there anything else you need to know?

SHOOGAARR!!!

Both smoothies are surprisingly tasty. However, each drink has nearly double the sugar as a serving of their cereal counterpart. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not trying to sugar guilt anybody. I just think I’d rather have a double serving of either cereal than drink one of these smoothies again. Maybe if you like, can’t chew things and still want to taste your favorite cereals? Yeah, that works.

Conclusion:

These drinks were, for the most part, accurate in flavor, but incredibly sweet. They’re certain to give you a sugar rush, which might be what you’re looking for to propel you into 2020 and the inevitable cereal flavor mashups we have left ahead of us to taste.

Purchased Price: $4.99 each
Size: 4 – 7 fl oz bottles
Purchased at: Mariano’s (owned by Kroger)
Rating: 5 out of 10 (Trix), 4 out of 10 (Cinnamon Toast Crunch)
Nutrition Facts: (1 smoothie) Trix – 160 calories, 3 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 115 milligrams of sodium, 27 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 22 grams of sugar, and 5 grams of protein. Cinnamon Toast Crunch – 160 calories, 3 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 115 milligrams of sodium, 27 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 22 grams of sugar, and 5 grams of protein.