Dragon Fire Gum

I don’t know about you, but when I was growing up I didn’t want to have Superman’s superhuman strength, Flash’s lightning quick speed, or Wonder Woman’s stupid lasso that made people tell the truth. I wanted the special ability of shooting fire out of my mouth. Perhaps this desire was influenced by the many Godzilla [...]

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Taco Bell Steak Nachos BellGrande

Come on, Taco Bell! Can’t you do better than this? Can’t you come up with something better than the Steak Nachos BellGrande? You’ve come up with some great ideas, but Steak Nachos BellGrande just isn’t a fun name to say. GORDITA!!! Look how fun it was to say Gordita. CHALUPA!!! Saying Chalupa was also frickin’ fun. BEAN BURRRRITO!!! Even saying Bean Burrito [...]

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Gerber Graduates Apple Mini Fruits

There was a time in my life that I wanted to be an astronaut. There was also another time in my life that I wanted to participate in the Vagina Monologues and express my love for vagina, but that’s for another review. I didn’t want to become an astronaut for the thrill, glory, or large amounts of [...]

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Mad Dog Mocha Mania Energy Bar

It’s not often that I get bitchslapped by an energy bar, because it usually costs quite a bit extra to have that done. But this time it was free thanks to this Mad Dog Mocha Mania Energy Bar. Although, I have to admit, this time it was the energy bar that did the [...]

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A&W Sparkling Vanilla Cream Soda

Recently, I’ve been sucking down many of these A&W Sparkling Vanilla Cream Sodas. I’ve been doing so much sucking that I feel like I’m either a baby sucking on a tit, a crack addict sucking on a crack pipe, or Paris Hilton making another sex tape. I just have this “thing” for vanilla cream sodas, [...]

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October Prize Drawing!!!

Thanks to my recent review of the Trojan Elexa line of products, I’m stuck with a whole bunch of condoms that I’ll probably never use, unless I sell my body on the streets. Unfortunately, my body won’t make much money on the streets, so it would be a waste to use these condoms that [...]

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Citrucel Chocolate FiberShake Starter Kit

Fiber is one of those things that most people don’t get enough of, including myself. It helps prevent things like diabetes, high cholesterol, and heart disease. When I was told by my doctor that I needed more fiber in my diet, I decided to get that fiber the American Way. Not in [...]

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Trojan Elexa

I have never wanted a clitoris before, but ever since I got these Trojan Elexa products, I wish I could grow one. The new Trojan Elexa line was created from a woman’s perspective, thankfully not from the perspective of Angelina Jolie, because while the condoms would’ve prevent unwanted pregnancies, they might have caused excessive adoptions and [...]

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Cheap Ass Bath Towels

One of the great things about bath towels is the fact that they’re multi-taskers. However, most of you may not realize the multitude of things you can do with bath towels. Most of us use them to dry ourselves off after coming out of the shower. However, homeless people use them as blankets, bullies [...]

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