REVIEW: Taco Bell Steak Nachos BellGrande

Taco Bell Steak Nachos BellGrande

Come on, Taco Bell! Can’t you do better than this?

Can’t you come up with something better than the Steak Nachos BellGrande?

You’ve come up with some great ideas, but Steak Nachos BellGrande just isn’t a fun name to say.


Look how fun it was to say Gordita.


Saying Chalupa was also frickin’ fun.


Even saying Bean Burrito was fun, not just because I rolled the R’s and said it in a high-pitched, stereotypical, borderline offensive Hispanic accent, but also because of the alliteration.

Sure, I could roll the R in “BellGrande,” but it still wouldn’t sound very fun because there are too many words and syllables in the name and it also wouldn’t be fun to say, “Yo quiero Steak Nachos BellGrande” in my best Taco Bell commercial chihuahua voice, while ordering in the drive-thru lane.

It’s also not exciting to yell whenever I’m swinging at a pinata.

How about Mucho Nacho? Or Nacho Rancho? Or Steako Greato?

Even some of the ingredients in the Steak Nachos BellGrande have better names, like the carne asada steak and nacho cheese sauce. Okay, the tortilla chips, green onions, tomatoes, sour cream, and refried beans have plain names. But if you add the optional jalapenos, you not only add some heat to the Steak Nachos BellGrande, you also add another ingredient that’s fun to say and you can have fun with Taco Bell employees by asking for the jalapenos phonetically.

The Steak Nachos BellGrande was good. The steak was surprisingly tender and the optional jalapenos gave it a nice kick. However, I think what really made this product tasty was the nacho cheese sauce, which also made the Taco Bell Crunchwrap Supreme tasty and added a nice crayon orange to the dish.

However, with 770 calories, 41 grams of fat, 7 grams of trans fat, 1230 milligrams of sodium, and enough carbs to make Dr. Atkins weep in heaven, I don’t think I’ll be buying it again. Although, it does have a whopping 10 grams of dietary fiber.

Hey! Maybe it should be called Nacho PoopGrande?

Item: Taco Bell Steak Nachos BellGrande
Purchase Price: $3.59
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Tasty. Steak was surprisingly tender. Nacho cheese sauce is frickin’ addicting. Optional jalapenos gave it some nice heat. Lots of dietary fiber. CHALUPA! GORDITA!
Cons: Boring name. High in bad trans fat and other things.

35 thoughts to “REVIEW: Taco Bell Steak Nachos BellGrande”

  1. Interestingly enough, you can get everything made vegetarian by asking for it. They substitute beans for beef. I didn’t know this until I went to Taco Bell with a hindu.

  2. dang, I need to hit up taco bell soon. I used to eat there about twice a week because it was on-campus at ucla when i was there. The steak nachos bellgrande actually look better in your picture than I thought they might. I’m still a bit afeared of T-Bell ever since the nestle dog food bidding story my friend kept telling me.

  3. that looks pretty good, but $3.59 seems steep for freakin’ nachos….their steak quesadilla is only $2.69. do they have real live mexicans making the nachos by hand in the back or what??

  4. DeAndre’ – You said poop!

    Ayesha97 – Haven’t you learned that commercials are always misleading and make things look so good that you wanna lick your television screen. Oh wait, maybe that’s just me.

    Lorien – I wish there was some way to cover the name, sort of like how paper bags are used when getting it on with trolls.

    Mir – Wait! That nacho cheese sauce might give me a heart attack…again.

    360eats – Five dollars!!! Holy crap! I thought I paid overpriced Taco Bell.

    caitlin – Unfortunately, I forgot to videotape it. But I can tell you this much, it wasn’t erotic at all.

    TG – Me roll R’s long time!

    SEV – I have trouble pronouncing items on an Italian menu. I just point to it on the menu. Everything I’ve pointed to was very good.

  5. nat – I predict that they probably will in the future. After all, Jack came back.

    Lucy – That’s not right. I think you should go to another Taco Bell, because I find that Taco Bells vary in quality. I remember the one on campus totally sucked, but the one at the nearby shopping center was pretty gosh darn good.

    Chuck – Steak Quesadilla is totally fun to say. Just say it in a really high voice and extend the last A for about five seconds.

    Toni – Yes! I’ve influenced you! Soon I will influence the world. Muahaha!

    Joseph – Sorry, I needed copy filler and I wanted to make Dr. Atkins cry.

    Karen – San Diego must have some awesome Mexican places. Here on this rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, I’ve been to several Mexican places, but they all sucked.

    KT – Did you just call me a “boner?” 😉

    klew – Yup, that’s an actual picture of what I had. Yes, the cheese really was that color. As for Baja MD, I think it’s pretty good. I like it better than Livewire, but not better than Code Red and original MD.

    TheWarden – I really like the Bean Burrrritos, because they’re cheap and they have a nice heft to them, so you feel like you’re getting your money’s worth. As for the Baja MD, I dig it. It’s definitely not my favorite, but it’s better than Livewire.

  6. gko – Ha! That was a funny link. I especially like number three.

    JMo – The extent of my Spanish doesn’t go beyond the menu at Taco Bell and what I learned from Sesame Street.

    TheInfamousJ – Really? That interesting to know. Thanks for the info. I shall attempt this next time.

    circe – Follow your stomach and your dreams and you shall be rewarded with a full stomach, and possibly gas later on.

    Bryan – I ate a lot of Taco Bell on campus too. I kept buying it even though it was more expensive on campus.

    Webmiztris – I think if they used real live Mexicans, the price of it would be a lot cheaper, because Mexicans would work for less than bratty 16-year-olds.

    Perkins – You aren’t my illegitimate child, are you?

  7. I had some of these with extra fire sauce… felt like battery acid the next day on the porecelain throne. I needed a Costco sized bottle of poop water.

  8. Almost makes me miss red meat. But that moment passes swiftly. Still, even without the steak these look like some damn good nachos, although for cost reasons I might go the hommade route. That and there’s not a damned taco bell within walking distence of my college. I hate everything.

  9. no wonder my daughter suddenly thinks Cream Soda is tasty. she always complained that it was gross…

    meh. i want something to drink now…

  10. Hismikeness – I thought about putting hot sauce on it, but I thought I would add too much red and I would lose the orange crayon color.

    Genny From the Burbs – I haven’t made homemade nachos in a very long time. Maybe because I have a 24-hour nacho vending machine 100 yards away from my front door, which I call 7-Eleven.

    jinhamasaki – My eyes thought it looked kind of small, but my stomach didn’t think so.

    mai – Don’t drink cream soda because you daughter might steal it from you.

  11. Dude, you got a 24hr grab em all 100 yards from yer front door? Hell the only thing i’d ever run out of is money.

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