REVIEW: Glaceau Tranquilo Vitamin Water

Written by | May 1, 2009

Topics: 6 Rating, Glaceau, Vitamin Water, Water

Like all flavors of Vitamin Water, Tranquilo Vitamin Water promises to help you with some aspect of your life that is lacking. Need to boost your immune system? Drink a Defense Vitamin Water. Want something to help with your concentration? Consume Focus Vitamin Water. Need a jolt of energy? Tank an Energy Vitamin Water. Want to bring back someone from the dead so that you can play Resident Evil in real life? Pour a Revive Vitamin Water down their throat.

Tranquilo Vitamin Water helps you to relax and forget your troubles for a little while, like spending a weekend on the beach. But isn’t there another liquid that helps you temporarily forget your troubles much easier?

Alcohol? It somewhat does that, but not fast enough.

Homemade moonshine made with things found in a garage? Yes, it does have that ability, but it also has the power to “permanently make you forget your troubles,” cause you to become blind or make you imagine you’re talking to the 29th President of the United States Warren G. Harding about what’s on his iPod and being surprised that “Regulate” by Warren G is not on it.

What liquid am I thinking of?

Oh yeah, that’s right! Chloroform.

Tranquilo Vitamin Water looks like the water in a public toilet that hasn’t been flushed for days and it is flavored with tamarind and pineapple, although the ingredients list doesn’t directly mention them, but it does include the vague “natural flavor.” It’s also a decent source of vitamins, like A, C and E, but so is a serving of Cocoa Puffs, so that’s not really saying much.

The pineapple seems to dominate the scent and taste of the beverage, although to be honest, I have no idea what tamarind is and the first time I ever heard of it was when I picked up this bottle, so it might be the tamarind dominating the beverage. At first, I didn’t enjoy its flavor, which reminds me of a watered down Pina Colada Slurpee, but after drinking more of it, I began to like it. While it’s not my favorite Vitamin Water flavor (which is XXX Vitamin Water), it’s definitely in my top ten, which actually isn’t so impressive since there are only 13 Vitamin Water flavors.

So does Tranquilo Vitamin Water help me to relax and temporarily forget my troubles?

No, it doesn’t, because I’m getting totally worked up about the name Tranquilo. What kind of frickin’ name is that? Who just slaps an O at the end of something and makes a name from it? That’s just plain lazy.

Bah! Where’s my chloroform? I want to temporarily forget about that name.

(Nutrition Facts – 8 ounces – 50 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of sodium, 13 grams of carbohydrates, 13 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 10% vitamin A, 40% vitamin C, 10% vitamin E, 10% vitamin B3, 10% vitamin B6, 10% vitamin B12 and 10% vitamin B5.)

(Note: We Rate Stuff reviewed the other new Vitamin Water flavor, Sync.)

Item: Glaceau Tranquilo Vitamin Water
Price: $2.39
Size: 20 ounces
Purchased at: Whole Foods
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Tastes decent after I got used to it. It’s got electrolytes. In my favorite top 10 list of Vitamin Water flavors. Contains vitamins A, C and E. Using chloroform to help me forget things. XXX Vitamin Water.
Cons: Tastes kind of weird at first. Lame name. Looks like water in a public toilet that hasn’t been flushed in days. Doesn’t help me relax and forget my troubles.






15 Comments For This Post I'd Love to Hear Yours!

  1. Orchid64 says:

    You seem far too informed on various types of fluid which can accomplish various tasks.

    Still, if this magic juice could make me rich, I’d drink it.

  2. Bear Silber says:

    “…or make you imagine you’re talking to the 29th President of the United States Warren G. Harding about what’s on his iPod and being surprised that “Regulate” by Warren G is not on it.”

    Awesome line! “Reguuuuulaaaators MOUNT UP!”

  3. Kaitis says:

    It would seem that the yellow vitamin waters aren’t the best tasting ones.

  4. Heather says:

    You know what? I actually liked this one. More amazingly my bf who only likes the red power ones (dragonfruit) who I somehow got to like the grape 50 cent ones liked this flavor right away. I guess maybe they are doing something right, or like KFC chicken are putting tiny traces of crack in the product :)

  5. grinder says:

    They seem really expensive.

  6. slurm says:

    The name is Spanish, the flavor is geared towards Hispanic customers. I didn’t care for it myself, either.

  7. Woodenhand says:

    Hmmm I’m sort of weary of this one, but I have to give props when they are due… (loved the Warren G. mention) still I think I’m let my brother sample up on this one.

  8. Neil the hammer says:

    Man I would rather drink my love pepsi throwback then drink this swamp water

    THAT IS ALL

  9. Ryan says:

    Yeah what slurm said…Tranquilo is Spanish…pronounced “tron-keel-O”

    Is Marvo Spanish for Marv? hehe.

    XXX is my favorite flavor too. That public toilet line might stick with me forever, won’t be able to get it out of my mind.

    “Tranquilo Vitamin Water looks like the water in a public toilet that hasn’t been flushed for days and it is flavored with tamarind and pineapple”

  10. Bear Silber says:

    “Is Marvo Spanish for Marv? hehe.” – Best comment of the week!

  11. Zac Pritcher says:

    “Want to bring back someone from the dead so that you can play Resident Evil in real life?”

    ROFL HILARIOUS! I’ll be laughing for days after reading this.

  12. Chuck says:

    This sounds like the Spanish Fly of Vitamin Water.

  13. Marvo says:

    @Orchid64: I am an expert in many things, but I am a master at none of them.

    @Bear Silber: Oh snap! Looks like I have to queue up some Warren G in iTunes. They got my homey hemmed up and they all around/Aint none of them seeing if they going straight pound for pound/I gotta come up real quick before they start to clown/I best pull out my strap and lay them busters down

    @Kaitis: Hmm…Never realized that. I’m not a big fan of Energy Vitamin Water.

    @Heather: Formula 50 is in my top 5 favorite Vitamin Water flavors.

    @grinder: I bought it at Whole Foods and paid the Whole Foods Tax, but I later found it at a grocery store for the normal price of $1.49.

    @slurm: So Tranquilo and Bud Light Chelada are in the same boat.

    @Woodenhand: Wuss. Make your brother try it for you. Be a man and try it yourself.

    @Neil the hammer: I would prefer Throwback Pepsi too.

    @Ryan: Marvo is short for marvo-lous. Man, that made me sound like a douchebag.

    @Zac Pritcher: I hope you don’t die from laughter. Or else I’m going to have to use some Revive Vitamin Water on you.

    @Chuck: Oooh, I’m now going to do a remake of the Beastie Boys “Fight For Your Right” video using this.

  14. Jackie says:

    Being in Hawaii, you probably don’t have much access to bad Mexican candy, but let me tell you, bad Mexican candy has put me off tamarind forever.

  15. Marvo says:

    Jackie: Being in Hawaii, we also don’t have access to good Mexican candy or great Mexican restaurants.



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