I’m not sure of the reasons for coming out with limited edition Oreos, since it isn’t hard to get people to buy and eat regular Oreos.
Just place them on a plate next to a glass with cold milk or a glass bong with chronic marijuana and watch them disappear like $30 Blu-Ray players on Black Friday at Walmart or my patience when the person in front of me pays for things using only dimes, nickels and pennies.
Since 2008, Nabisco has been producing the Limited Edition Candy Cane Oreo for the Christmas season. Unfortunately, these cookies aren’t as useful as actual candy canes, which can be used as tree ornaments or an impromptu weapon when the dysfunctional family Christmas dinner gets too dysfunctional.
The Limited Edition Candy Cane Oreo combines three colors usually found in hell: black death, bloody red and soul white. One chocolate cookie has the usual Oreo imprint, while the other cookie has a snowflake imprint, and in between the cookies are red and white cremes. If you twist off one of the cookies, you’ll see the division of red and white creme, which looks disturbing because it kind of looks like the red creme is a tongue licking the white creme. So if you’re one of those people who like to lick the creme to oblivion, from certain angles, it might look like you’re French kissing the cookie.
The cookies smell and taste like the heavenly Girl Scout Thin Mints, although a slightly weaker minty version of them. They’re also less minty than regular Mint Oreos. These limited edition Oreos might be less minty than Thin Mints, but at least acquiring them doesn’t include having to deal with pushy Girl Scouts who are trying to get me to buy several more boxes than I should using the proven selling techniques of guilt and having a mother who’s a MILF.
The “crunchy sprinkles” in the red and white creme provide a pleasant added crunch to the cookies, which you might think would get lost in the crunch of the chocolate cookies, but instead provide a crystalline crunch on top of the cookie crunch.
Like my use of the word “crunch” and all of its derivatives in the previous sentence, there are a lot of sprinkles in the creme, which will make it feel like a well used piece of coarse sandpaper if you’re one of those people who like to lick the creme to oblivion. Sadly, the sprinkles don’t seem to be tiny bits of candy cane and both creme colors have the same vanilla minty flavor.
If you want your Oreo cookies to be as festive as a Christmas tree or that godawful sweater your co-worker wears every year to the company Christmas party, these Limited Edition Candy Cane Oreos will do the trick. If you like your Oreos to be addictive, then these will also do the trick.
If you missed them in stores this year, expect them to be around this time again next year, like extended shopping mall hours and a new annoying Elmo toy.
(Nutrition Facts – 2 cookies – 140 calories, 60 calories from fat, 6 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 115 milligrams of sodium, 45 milligrams of potassium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 14 grams of sugar, 1 gram of protein and 6% iron.)
Item: Limited Edition Candy Cane Oreo
Size: 10.5 ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Tastes like Girl Scout Thin Mints. Addictive. Impressing MILFs. Crunch sprinkles add a different texture. Thin Mints flavor without the Girl Scout guilt. Lots of crunchy sprinkles. Getting one of the few $30 Blu-Ray players on Black Friday. Regular Oreos.
Cons: Crunch sprinkles don’t seem to be bits of candy cane. Licking creme feels like licking coarse sandpaper. Limited edition. Having to defend or attack with a candy cane. High fructose corn syrup. Uses colors usually found in hell.