REVIEW: Red Bull Total Zero Energy Drink

Red Bull Total Zero

The list of beverages that contain the word “zero” in their name is significantly larger than zero.

Here, I’ll let you count some of them: Coke Zero, Sprite Zero, VitaminWater Zero, Powerade Zero, Propel Zero, Monster Absolutely Zero Energy Drink, Rockstar Zero Carb Energy Drink, Fanta Zero, Dr Pepper Zero, Big Red Zero, Sodastream Zero Cola, Pibb Zero, Virgil’s Zero Root Beer, Diet Rite Pure Zero, Schweppes Zero Cream Soda, Mello Yello Zero, and now Red Bull Total Zero Energy Drink.

Wow. That’s a lot of zeroes. I haven’t seen that many zeroes since Chicago White Sox pitcher Philip Humber’s perfect game. Or if you’re reading this in 2013 or beyond, or have no idea what a perfect game is…I haven’t seen that many zeroes since I stood in between two parallel mirrors and looked at an infinite reflection of myself.

Companies attach the word “zero” to their beverages for several reasons. They either contain zero grams of sugar, zero calories, zero grams of carbohydrates, or any combination of the three. Although with some beverages, I’d like to think the word “zero” equates to the zero creativity used to come up with a name, instead taking whatever another company used.

As for Red Bull Total Zero Energy Drink, it has no calories, zero grams of sugar, and zero grams of carbohydrates. Although, if I wanted to be a total prick about it, I could say it’s not “total zero” because it has 60 milligrams of sodium and less than one gram of protein. Oh, I should note my head hurt trying to wrap my brain around the fact that for some strange reason the 12-ounce size has ten calories. That there is some crazy ass food math.

Wait, I just thought of something.

If Coca-Cola, who started this “zero” beverage trend, makes Dasani Zero bottled water, I swear I’m going to punch a polar bear in the face.

Red Bull Total Zero has a similar aroma and the same amber color as the other two Red Bull varieties (original and sugar free), and it has the same amounts of taurine and caffeine, both of which are supposed to give Red Bull drinkers wings. I estimate I’ve consumed almost 50 cans of Red Bull, but despite all that liquid and lots of bell ringing, I have yet to get my wings.

Red Bull Comparison Chart

As for Red Bull Total Zero’s flavor, it isn’t as syrupy as regular Red Bull and it’s slightly more artificial sweetener-y than Red Bull Sugar Free, but it has that distinct Red Bull flavor. In order to be calorie, carb, and sugar free, Red Bull Total Zero contains the Three Sweeteneers: Aspartame, Sucralose, and Acesulfame K. Red Bull Sugar Free contains just Aspartame and Acesulfame K.

Overall, I think Red Bull Total Zero is decent, but between it and Red Bull Sugar Free, I prefer the latter because it’s smoother. Sure, the sugar free version has ten calories and three grams of carbohydrates, but that’s an insignificant difference. I think I just burned ten calories and three grams of carbohydrates by typing this paragraph.

(Nutrition Facts – 8.4 ounces – 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 60 milligrams of sodium, 0 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, and less than 1 gram of protein.)

Our video review:

Item: Red Bull Total Zero Energy Drink
Price: $2.29
Size: 8.4 ounces
Purchased at: 7-Eleven
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Has familiar Red Bull flavor. No calories, carbs, and sugar. It’s a Wonderful Life reference. Another option to mix with alcohol. Perfect games in baseball.
Cons: Not great if you hate aspartame and sucralose. Pricey when compared with other energy drinks. Slightly harsher than Red Bull Sugar Free. Excessive use of the word “zero” in the beverage industry. Dasani Zero.

16 thoughts to “REVIEW: Red Bull Total Zero Energy Drink”

  1. Great review of something I have had zero times. Sorry, I just did not want there to be zero comments on this greater than zero post.

  2. At first I read the title as it being a Red Bull “zero energy” drink and wondered if this Red Bull leaves you crashed in a gutter somewhere.

  3. I think Red Bull Zero is better than regular Red bull. It tastes slightly fruity.

    1. agreed, i find it a lot easier to drink than either reg or sugar free red bull; the taste bud ‘sting’ is a lot more mellow for me drinking this than with the other two

  4. i have had red bull zero twice and both times ive gotten really ill from it. idk what on earth they put in that stuff, but i dont recomend it. im fine with sugar free redbull, but this stuff is basically death in a can.

  5. I get 6 of these a week. I buy them at the Dollar General and they are about 2.00 a piece. I love this drink. I started a diet and cut all soda from myself and now have gotten hook on Red Bull Total Zero. I absolutely love this drink. I skyped my brother one day and was drinking one and he told me that they are sooo grose.

  6. i like them both sugar free and total zero but think sugar free does have more of sweet taste to enjoy and whats 10 cals 4 carbs? even zero label it still has 10 calories as well they taste almost same but sugar free is better buy i think but i would take total zero over regular one i dont eat drink stuff thats loaded in cals sugars i have always perfered the diet stuff

  7. Actually just tried a can of it myself. I actually prefer the “sugarfree” as opposed to this. The regular one is good too obviously, but the “zero” one tastes the most “diet soda”-like. Seeing that aspartame and other stuff is in it, I can see why that is. Not bad, but sugarfree is better.

  8. Just tried it and it tasted okay, better drinking this than some sodas with a lot of calories.
    I was about to drink a Starbucks frapachino iced coffee but, this drink has 290 calories ( what ) too much!

  9. I used to drink red Bull every once in a while until I started using since if the it works products and they have a all natural energy drink, no sugar added, sugar is from fruit. .and the caffeine is from green tea. Tastes like sparkling pear. Just wondering what you’d think of this product? Wish I could attach pic of ingredients but here nut facts
    Fat 0
    Sodium 5mg
    Carbs 14g
    Sugar 13g
    Protein 0

  10. Why the FUCK does everyone only comment on the taste, and not on the thing that these drinks were intended for – to give you ENERGY!

    So what do you fuckers think of the effectiveness? Good energy? Does it make you crash? Personally I think it’s fine, wakes you up if you have the right amount.

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