My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,
And theyâ€™re like, â€œIt’s better than yours.â€
Damn right it’s better than yours,
I can teach youâ€¦
Okay, I think this review is off to a bad start. Letâ€™s try againâ€¦
Milkshakes make my mouth modulate mindlessly monthly.
Okay, the alliteration idea is lame. Let me try againâ€¦
Okay, this isn’t working out very well. Oh screw it!
Nestle Nesquik Chocolate Milkshake. It’s not a chocolate milkshake, it’s chocolate milk that supposed to taste like a chocolate milkshake. Itâ€™s not bad, but doesnâ€™t really taste like a chocolate milkshake. A milkshake is waaaay better. I can make a better milkshake. Damn right itâ€™s better than theirs. Contains calcium and vitamins A & D. Donâ€™t forget to shake well. I can finally recycle that damn Nesquik Chocolate Milkshake bottle.
Now that the review is out of the way, itâ€™s time to announce this monthâ€™s prize drawing.
Hmmâ€¦What shall I give away this month?
I could give away Gmail accounts, but who DOESNâ€™T have a Gmail account by now. Google passes out invitations like they were Ecstasy at a rave.
Wait, I got it.
This month, the Impulsive Buy will be giving away three (3) boxes of Jello Oreo Instant Pudding, which we reviewed last month. There will be three winners, who will each receive one (1) box.
If you havenâ€™t read the review, I basically say Jello Oreo Instant Pudding is perfect for licking off of most body parts.
To enter the drawing, just leave a comment for THIS review. Also, so that we donâ€™t seem like comment whores, you can also enter by sending us an email with the phrase â€œJello Oreoâ€ in the subject field.
If you leave a comment, donâ€™t forget to fill out the email field, because we will be emailing winners for their mailing addresses. Donâ€™t worry about the shipping, we will take care of that.
We will start accepting entries for the drawing on December 15, 2004. We will stop accepting entries on December 19, 2004 at 11:59 pm (Hawaii Standard Time). Only one entry allowed per person. The drawing is only open to those in the United States and Canada.
Entries will be stuffed intoâ€¦Umâ€¦Letâ€™s see what containers we have.
Oh! They will be stuffed into the Nesquik Chocolate Milkshake bottle I just picked out from the recycle bin. Winning entries will be drawn from this bottle and will probably smell likeâ€¦
(Opens bottle and takes a sniff)
Oooh, thatâ€™s nasty. It will probably smell like spoiled Nesquik Chocolate Milkshake.
For those of you whoâ€™ve never won anything before, hereâ€™s your chance to finally to win. Thereâ€™s no need for performance enhancing drugs.
Fine Print: We promise your email address will not be used to send you spam about some drug that you donâ€™t know how to pronounce the name of. We also promise your mailing address will not be used to send you offers for free issues of Business Week and Sports Illustrated. Bribes will not be accepted. We will not be responsible for lost mail.
Item: Nestle Nesquik Chocolate Milkshake
Purchase Price: $1.99 (on sale)
Rating: 3 out of 5
Pros: Kind of good. Calcium. Vitamins A & D. I can finally get rid of the empty Nesquik Chocolate Milkshake bottle thatâ€™s been sitting on my desk for weeks (Okay, not until the drawing is over).
Cons: Doesnâ€™t really taste like a chocolate milkshake.