REVIEW: Lotte Black Black Gum (Japan)

Lotte Black Black Gum

Lotte Black Black Gum has been around for a long time.

How do I know this?

I know this because this Black Black Gum commercial starring Jean Claude Van Damme proves two things:

1. This commercial is old, because it’s been awhile since Jean Claude Van Damme had fame.

2. Even in Japanese commercials, Jean Claude Van Damme sucks as an actor.

What makes Black Black Gum unique is its charcoal color and the fact that it’s caffeinated, although I don’t know how much caffeine is in each stick.

But I think it’s safe to say that there’s not enough caffeine in it for me to go onto The Oprah Winfrey Show, jump on a couch, attack Oprah, and pretend I’m straight by saying I love Katie Holmes.

I guess it’s sort of like Nicorette gum, except it’s for those who like caffeine and think it’s silly to always wear a beer hat filled with either Red Bull or Starbucks.

Along with the caffeine, this gum contains a nice list of some of my favorite Chinese herbs and flowers, like Bai Ling, Gong Li, and Zhang Ziyi.

Oh wait, I’m sorry. That’s the list of my favorite sexy Chinese actresses.

Oolong tea, gingko, and chrysanthemum flower extracts are the favorite Chinese herbs and flowers found in Black Black Gum. These ingredients give the gum a nice minty flavor with a little bit of extra spice, which I think may make some people not enjoy it.

The mint flavor is initially very intense, like a powerful mint, but it quickly loses that intensity. It eventually loses all flavor in about 7 minutes, but I think people don’t chew on this gum for the flavor, they chew it for the sweet, sweet fix of stimulating caffeine.

Mmm…Caffeine. It’s the drug choice of geeks and quasi-product review blog editors everywhere.

Item: Lotte Black Black Gum
Purchase Price: $2.00 (9 sticks per pack)
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Nice minty taste. Caffeine. Helped me finish today’s review. Sweet caffeine. My list of sexy Chinese actresses. Sweet, sweet caffeine.
Cons: Quickly loses minty intensity. Extra spice may make some people not like it. Jean Claude Van Damme’s acting abilities.

35 thoughts to “REVIEW: Lotte Black Black Gum (Japan)”

  1. If you run out of products to review, ThinkGeek has a nice caffienated selection at including caffienated soap (seriously.) I think that Art’s habanero jerky deserves an honorable mention as an effective pick-me-up for Energy week, even though it has no chemical stimulants, but you already reviewed that. Don’t worry, I’m not sending you any more…

  2. But I think it’s safe to say that there’s not enough caffeine in it for me to go onto The Oprah Winfrey Show, jump on a couch, attack Oprah, and pretend I’m straight by saying I love Katie Holmes.

    *raises eyebrows* what aren’t you telling us…..

  3. i bet you could get jean claude van damme to jump on the couch, attack opera, and pretend to be a good actor after force feeding that action hero wannabe the pack of gum…

    so marvo, let the poor guy out of your closet and set him loose on opera!

  4. $2 for GUM!!!!! You’re kidding me right? And that was probably in the top ten for worst commercials that do not involve mintos ever.

  5. jeane claude van damme endorsing the gum is enough to tell you its worth.
    but interesting way of getting a caffiene fix 😛

  6. Why is it that gum looses the flavor so fast. It is very unfortunate because I like gum but you have to chew so much to even have a taste for longer then a minute. If you find a gum that lasts more then a minute you have to tell me. The caffiene would be a plus though.

  7. OK, so it’s called BLACKBLACK, and you say it’s charcoal in color, but you omit a couple of very important pieces of information:

    1) Does it freshen breath? I know if I chew it I’ll have the energy for a nice, long, midnight make-out session with my wife, but will my breath hold out?

    2) What will it do to my mouth? Is my mouth gonna be called BLACKBLACK, and turn a wrought iron charcoal color, as well? Because I think that would affect the question above, too.

    C’mon, Marvo. I need the specs!

  8. The “high tech” taste is what first caught my eye about that gum. So does it taste similar to “Black Jack” gum, the old favorite from the 60s?

    Lord Jezo, that “engrish” site cracks me up! I mean, Site of talking not precisely english causes a fissure to break inside me.

  9. Dude, ya gotta take Bai Ling off your list. You don’t know where she’s been. *shudder*

    I think I would like a t-shirt that says “HI-TECHNICAL EXCELLENT TASTE AND FLAVOR.”

  10. I’ve had this BlackBlack gum before… extremely popular among the college crowd. There is also a “Green” gum too right? I also have “Lemon Tea” Lotte Gum that came in a weird dispenser. It is like a plastic box the size of the gum package with a “roller” on the top. So you roll each stick of gum out. Like Pez for sticks of chewing gum…

  11. After getting the caffeine into your body the flavor quickly ends causing you to discard the gum, that to me seems like a good thing. Why would you want to waste that energy on chewing with an addition of B12 you are ready for another “activity” XS Caffeine-Free Tropical Blast Energy Drink.

  12. Chuck – Hmm…The caffeinated soap intrigues me. Does it make the perfect morning shower soap? If I eat it, will it keep me up? Someday I’ll try it.

    Lord Jezo – Engrish is bery, bery good site.

    Ayesha97 – That I proposed to Katie Holmes and she’s an animal in bed.

    Mr Jon teh Redth of Canadia – I would if Jean Claude Van Damme lived in my closet, but I think he lives in a cardboard box somewhere in Los Angeles.

    Amy in GA – Well it’s imported from Japan, so that probably adds to the price. But think about the sweet, sweet caffeine.

  13. SEV – It’s definitely less painful than injecting it into my arm.

    Becky – I haven’t tried this but I think the technique for getting the flavor to last longer is to chew very slowly or taking the gum out of your mouth when you’re not chewing. I think it might work. 😉

    Bottom Feeder – It does freshen breath, it won’t turn your mouth charcoal color, and it won’t give you four hour erections. Hope that helps.

    Megan – There are few things funnier than seeing American actors in Japanese commercials.

    Mellie Helen – I’ve never had Black Jack gum. I’m a child of the 80s, so my favorite gum was Big League Chew.

  14. clearlynuts – SPICY HOT!!! YAHTZEE!!! OWWW!!! TSSSS!!!

    Mir – Wait, I like Angelina Jolie and she had sex with Billy Bob Thornton and drinks blood. Nothing could be worse than that.

    Bryan – Yes, Lotte has a lotte of different gums. Ha! Ha! Get it? A lotte? ::sigh:: I’m so lame. 🙁

    Kent Tell – That’s a very good point. Chewing the gum takes away the energy from the caffeine. Well I guess it’s back to energy drinks for me.

  15. Is increased energy a good trade-off for rotting teeth due to chewing sugary gum? Hmmm. What would 4 out of 5 dentists say?

  16. you know, for caffeinated gum a little closer to home, Jolt also makes caffinated gum. It’s available at the always wonderful Think Geek website. On a side note, I’ve dated two caffeine addicts in a row, bought one the caffienated soap (which apparently DOES work) and the other chewed Jolt gum. I’ll stick to white chocolate mocha, thanks.

  17. nat – You can never replace productive work hours, but you can replace teeth.

    Genny from the Burbs – The convenience store down the street used to sell Jolt Cola years ago, but now that they don’t sell it I can’t find it anywhere. Oh how I miss Jolt Cola and its sugary and caffeine goodness.

  18. I have finally found my true calling: to eat this caffeinated gum. Bless you Marvo, for showing me that I do indeed have purpose.

  19. We found that a cocktail of NoDoze washed down with a cold Pepsi mixed with instant coffee could eke out a few more hours from a sleep deprived body. Now, we can chew BlackBlack too, and maybe get an hour or two more. Thank you marvo, for this review!

  20. Ken – You’re welcome. Have fun.

    Wired – Holy crap! That cocktail could possibly kill me or allow me to watch the all the Star Wars and Lord of the Rings trilogies back-to-back.

  21. I blame Jean Claude vandamme’s acting abilities for my burnt lunch today.
    Someone had The street fighter or mortal kombat movie on today, and I was enthralled at how crappy acting still gets multi-kajillion dollar contracts.

    I burnt my tofu. 🙁

  22. How does one get “Hi-technical excellent taste and flavor”? Thats all I’m asking, as for the color, kinda weird those japanese are to like to chew black gooey looking things in their mouths.. ah how culture-clashing societies percieve things… or maybe its just me.

  23. KT – Sorry about the tofu and sorry you had to watch Street Fighter. 🙁

    Becky – No problemo.

    P057 – Ancient Japanese secret…

  24. Holy crap, it’s caffienated? Never knew that when I tried it years ago. I just remembered it as that menthol-flavoured gum; which other than the novelty of being SUPERDUPERHAPPYFUNTIMEMINTYâ„¢ was nothing special.

    Must mean Lotte’s Super Black gum contains pure crack cocaine.

    Shopping tip for the other Hawai’i folk, Shirokiya sells BlackBlack now & then.

  25. gko – Actually, Shirokiya is where I picked up the Black Black Gum, along with some Strawberry Pocky. Oh man, I have to find Super Black gum at Shirokiya.

  26. marvo – Mmmmm … pocky. All we’ve got here is chocolate. Maybe you get one gold star for living on an insland, but despite my chocolate-only-having oriental (their term, not mine) supermarket, I’ve still got cheaper prices on Herbal Essences and more flavors of Method bathroom cleanser.

  27. theinfamousej – Please don’t tell me Pocky is cheaper there too. I paid four dollars.

  28. theinfamousj – I think I might have gotten the bigger-sized box, which explains the $4 box.

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