It seems like every time I wear one of my shirts from Threadless, women want to look at my chest.

They’ll say, “What does your shirt say?” or “I’m just reading your shirt.” But I know that it’s just some excuse to look at my chest. It’s so obvious.

I feel so cheap and dirty. I feel more like an object, than a person.

Hey women, I’m up here, not down there. The last time I checked, my chest can’t hold a conversation.

I guess the least they could do is be a little more secretive when staring at my chest, like wear sunglasses or make strategically placed holes through a newspaper.

I’m not a piece of meat. I’m not their Brad Pitt to ogle and drool over. I have feelings, beliefs, dreams, compassion, intelligence, and a heart in this body of mine. There’s more to me than just my chest.

I wonder how women would like it if I stared at their chests?

Wondering if they’re fake or real?

Wondering if their nipples are pierced?

Wondering if they would like it if I said, “honk, honk,” while squeezing their chest?

Wondering if they like having their nipples twisted like they were radio dials?

I bet women definitely wouldn’t like it if I stared at their chests.

Although I will admit, my chest is probably my best physical feature. If you saw the rest of me, you’d probably agree. I guess doing five pushups a day has really helped. Although, my chest is only my best feature when I have it covered with a shirt. Without a shirt…Well, let’s just say, you really don’t want to see that, especially if you’ve eaten something.

Now some of you maybe thinking that I should stop wearing the Threadless shirts so that women won’t have an excuse to look at my chest, but I like these shirts because some of them are really clever and funny. But it’s not just clever and funny shirts, there are also very cute, artsy, meaningful, and unusual shirts at Threadless. Although, those are usually too hip for me and would probably draw even more attention to my chest.

At Threadless, shirt designs are submitted by talented, mostly unknown designers and artists from all over and Threadless members get to vote for the shirt designs that will be printed. It’s like American Idol, except without Paula Abdul’s weird clapping and Simon Cowell’s asshole-ness.

Shirts cost $15 each, plus shipping, but several times per year Threadless has a $10 sale on all their shirts to get rid of older stock. Speaking of stock, all the shirts that Threadless prints are limited-edition. So if they run out of a particular design, it’s usually gone for good, unless a whole bunch of people ask for another printing of the shirt.

Since I won’t stop wearing Threadless shirts, I guess I’ll let women continue to stare at my chest, but I still don’t approve of it. Hopefully, women will grow to appreciate what’s inside, instead of what’s on the outside.

Purchased Price: $15 per shirt (Except during the $10 sale)
Purchased At: Threadless
Rating: 4 out of 5
Pros: Very original designs, created by some very talented unknown people. Semi annual $10 sale. Appreciating someone for what’s on the inside. My chest with a shirt.
Cons: Some shirts are just too hip for me. Women staring at my chest. Being an object of desire rather than of a person of intelligence. Asshole-ness. My chest without a shirt.

30 thoughts to “”

  1. Those shirts look pretty cool, and I hadn’t heard of them. I do occasionally enjoy wearing shirts that make people go, huh? My opinion on women staring at my chest is…hey, if women only want me for my body, I can live with that.

  2. I’ve been giving my money to threadless for 4 years! WOOP! I’ve gotten cheap though so now I only buy stuff when there are sales. And I actually don’t like most of the shirts. But when I do, I MUST BUYYY.

  3. I think it is horrible that women treat you like a sex object. Ooops, I dropped my pen. Would you bend over it pick it up? Slowly?

  4. Oh no. Marv, this is bads. Because really, I only like “Emotional Trip.”
    My ex has “Chance.” Meh. Well at least you don’t have “Flowers in the Attic.” That one is so emo/boring.

  5. My daughter (15) get’s the most original shirts here! Loved their “Communist Party” one. Very witty. Was shocked to see you review the company here. Now that we all know about it, she’ll never order from it again. Pros of that – saving me money – Cons of that – not getting the awesome shirts!

    Found you from Kim’s site that was forwarded to me from someone else! Word’s getting out about you!

  6. I’ve seen their ads on blogs for years but I never clicked over. Thanks for demystifying that for me…. looks like I need to pick up the Tasty Table one!

  7. Never got a shirt from them, but have my share of witty/random shirts. Will have to check them out.

    As for women checking ya out, I know how ya feel. Sometimes I wonder if sexy beasts like us will ever get a fair shake. Ha. Heh. Heh heh. Sure. Why not.

  8. I’m guilty of looking at men’s chests…. I’m sorry Marvo, if only I had known that deep down inside you guys want us to see deeper than just whats on the outside….truly, I apologize 😉 hehe

  9. Oh man, thanks for the reminder! It’s been a while since I’ve checked out Threadless. Shame that my “I (heart) color” (written in a color blindness test) shirt is too big on me. I loved that shirt! =T

  10. Hehe. I put in “th” into my address bar to go to Threadless, but I saw “” and decided my shirt cravings could make way for Marv for a little bit. But anyways, yeah, Threadless shirts are really awesome. I’ve gotten three shirts, Goatse (Which, surprisingly, gets much more approval than I ever believed possible), Corporate Zombie, and Summer (It’s glow in the dark!). They take the wear much better than most of the shirts that I have, and finally, some shirts that aren’t printed on American Apparel and have good quality. Mhm, awesomness.

  11. 5 push-ups a day? Whoa Marvo- you better take it easy. Damn.

    As for your chest- your face isn’t bad. You should post some pictures up of your nips so I can get a feel for whether you have a smokin bod or I vomit a little in my mouth. 😉

  12. I always like when people ask what my ThinkGeek t-shirts mean. [1] [] [2] [] Oh, and this one [] is good. Got that one free. The Johnny t-shirt is the easiest t-shirt to explain.

    WordPress better take HTML or I just wasted all of that 2 minutes. You need a preview button, I had to have screwed up one of those tags.

  13. Chuck – No, you must not lower yourself. You are a human being, who should be treated with respect.

    Robyn – The strange thing is I don’t think I’ve ever bought a shirt during the $10 sale. If there’s a shirt that I like, I buy it quick before it’s gone.

    Grins – Um, I don’t have cleavage, so that doesn’t work with me. 🙂

    Lizzy – “Emotional Trip” was my very first Threadless shirt and it’s my favorite by far.

    Sherry – I thought about getting the “Communist Party” shirt, but I was afraid if I happen to go drinking with it on, the red shirts would make my skin look more red.

    cybele – They usually have several food related shirts, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a candy related one.

    Andy – Sometimes I just feel like giving up and letting women use me for their desires. 🙁

    Ultimate Best Vamp Ever – Oh, to be cursed with this sexy chest that is only sexy when a shirt is over it!

    Lou – I definitely didn’t plan that to happen. Now go buy some shirts, Lou!

    klew – I’m not fine with anyone checking me out and treating me like I’m all chest and no brains.

    Gia on Guam – Actually, there is one shirt I didn’t show that I’ve only washed and worn once. It’s called “Pillow Fight.” I may give it away, but I’m afraid someone might use it in a witch’s spell to curse me. Perhaps someone in Guam? 😉

    Rhawb – I heart cotton.

    Larry – Oh, the classic “Goatse” shirt. I wanted one, but I don’t know if I really wanted to explain to people what it meant.

    Sarah – Trust me. You would vomit a little in your mouth, then rub my belly for good luck.

    Muneer – Um, sorry your comment didn’t immediately show up. I have WordPress set up to have comments with more than two links to end up in my moderation queue. Anyway, I’ve always wanted to pick up the caffeine molecule shirt from Think Geek, plus a whole lot of caffeine products. Mmm…Caffeine.

  14. Stop being such a victim Marvo

    Cool shirts..never heard of them before. That gingerbread one rocks!

  15. I’m sorry. I’ll try to quit looking at your chest. Especially if you wear tighter pants. I promise. Nice hair. So, uhhh…. what are you wearing now?

  16. skibs – Some people don’t understand the gingerbread one. Dammit, I can’t think of the name of the shirt off the top of my head.

    Hollywoodalaska – Tighter pants with the word “Juicy” embroidered on the ass part?

  17. Hehe, I gave a demonstration using an apple to show the basic idea of Goatse.

  18. You’re telling me that after one wearing, and (hopefully) one washing, there is a chance that viable hair samples can be attained from your clothing?

    I don’t know if I should cheer for the possible advancement of forensic technology or boo for the obvious fact that top loading washers just swish the dirt around from one article of clothing to the next.

    Btw, there’s no witches here, it’s all voodoo medicine faith healers!

  19. Judging from the samples in the picture it looks as though they are impulse buying product and printing the packages on the shirts.

  20. nat – Because you said that, I am no longer the hippest dude in the blogosphere. That’s the way trends work. 🙁

    Larry – How’d you get the hole…Oh, nevermind.

    Gia on Guam – Voodoo medicine faith healers? No voodoo doll needle pokers?

    Grins – Oooh, dominatrix-like!!! Where’s my leather leash!?!

    nothipcoolorbuff – Definitely an impulsive buy when there’s a shirt I like.

    Webmiztris – They’re not just awesome, they’re Awesome.

  21. Dude!

    You should sign up for their streetteam – you can get free tshirts when someone click on your link and buys shirts! You probably could have gotten a few free just from this post!


  22. Brian – I thought about doing that, but I was too lazy to change the link. 🙁 But that’s okay, because I don’t mind paying full price for a shirt that I like.

  23. Karen – I would feel so wrong wearing one of those shirts, while chomping on a Big Mac.

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