I used to sleep on a futon bed that easily transformed into a couch. If you lift one side up, the other side comes down and it forms a couch. Of course, that’s the only up and down action that futon bed has ever seen since I’ve owned it.
Recently, I picked up the Sealy Posturepedic Sapphire SE Ultra Plush Euro Pillowtop Mattress, or NAMBLA for short. I ended up with a full sized version because it was the only clearance model left and I expect my bachelor ass to be sleeping alone for a very long time.
::tear::
Its original price was over $2,000, but the salesman said he had to get rid of it to make room for the new Sealy Posturepedic Sapphire SE Ultra Plush Euro Pillowtop Mattress II, or NAMBLA II for short. So I ended up getting an 83 percent discount on it and paid $342.93 for it, not including the box spring, delivery, and the bed frame, which brought the total to about $530.
I REALLY wanted a bed shaped like a heart that rotated and vibrated with red and black tiger print silk sheets on top of it. However, I realized that I should have something practical. Although, a heart-shaped bed that rotates and vibrates with red and black tiger print silk sheets is actually practical…but only when making sweet, sweet lovin’.
I’ve been sleeping on the Sealy Posturepedic Sapphire SE Ultra Plush Euro Pillowtop Mattress for the past four days and it’s definitely an upgrade from my previous bed. But then again, almost ANYTHING would’ve been a step up from my futon bed, like a hobo’s flattened refrigerator cardboard box or the multiple-body-fluid-stained mattress of a three dollar crack whore.
It’s a REALLY comfortable bed and probably the best one I’ve ever slept on. The Sealy Posturepedic Sapphire SE Ultra Plush Euro Pillowtop Mattress is even more comfortable thanks to the 300 thread count sheets I bought for it.
If you haven’t slept on 300 thread count sheets and still are sleeping on your 1980s Transformers or My Little Pony bed sheets, I’d suggest you definitely upgrade. High thread count sheets feel really good, just as good as red and black tiger print silk sheets.
Perhaps the major reason why the Sealy Posturepedic Sapphire SE Ultra Plush Euro Pillowtop Mattress is so comfortable is because it’s FRICKIN’ THICK. The mattress itself is 13 inches thick. Add the box spring and the bed frame and the total height of my bed is 30 inches. My roommate’s bed is only 20 inches tall.
If only my bed was 63,330 inches taller and I could find a woman willing to make sweet, sweet lovin’ with me, then I could join the Mile High Club.
Thirty inches is a little too tall and I have to admit that I do have to jump a little to get onto my bed, but that’s not the real problem about my bed’s height. The real problem is when this happens (Quicktime required).
Item: Sealy Posturepedic Sapphire SE Ultra Plush Euro Pillowtop Mattress
Price: $342.93 (Mattress Only)
Purchased at: Sears
Rating: 4 out of 5
Pros: REALLY comfortable. Definitely an upgrade from a futon bed. Red and black tiger print silk sheets. Getting an 83 percent discount. 300 thread count sheets.
Cons: When this happens. Having to jump a little to get onto my bed. Those still using 1980s Transformers or My Little Pony sheets. NAMBLA, but not my NAMBLA. Sleeping on a multiple-body-fluid-stained mattress of a three dollar crack whore.
Awesome discount! Your bed looks like its half way to the ceiling from the video clip’s perspective. Looks way comfy though.
Okay, first of all, I had no idea we were bed-shopping at the same time. How karmic. Second, do you live in a CLOSET? I’d be worried about traumatic head injury from rolling off the bed and smacking your head on the door!
(P.S. My new bed arrives Friday… I’ll have to do a review for you after the weekend.) 😉
have fun breaking in your new bed!!! though by the looks of it, your room is as small as a coffin!
300? Mary gurl puleeeze, you needs to step up to 500 thread count or at least 300 Sateen. Maurice Villency sells 1000. I mean, if you’re gonna sleep alone, you might as well make it luxuriously alone.
Actually, this bed looks great so thanks for the review! You’d lose some of that height if you’d get a platform bed instead of the boxspring. It looks like a foundation-style mattress so you likely just don’t need the box. > The Tango is awesome!
Marvo, I think I have the same sheets as you!! I also have them in a slightly different shade of blue.
I recently purchased some 800 thread count sheets at Bed, Bath & Beyond (on sale), and I have to say that they don’t really feel any different from 300 thread count sheets. But maybe they’l last longer.
I am probably about due for a new bed…my current one is ten years old…but it does have a pillow top mattress. I added onto this a couple years ago with a memory foam mattress topper, and now firm mattresses feel like I’m lying on plywood or something.
What’s this? A near glimpse of Marvo’s face in the video?
300TC? My kids have that on their bunk beds. Next time, go for the 1000TC cotton sateen. Soooooo yummy! My husband and I don’t ever want to get out of bed. And so thick and and soft and durable — nearly a year, and ours show no wear, despite frequent washing. I also recommend a dust ruffle and comforter, in a natural fabric, to help you lure the ladies. Get a bed in a bag to make it easy for you. At the Behemoth-Store-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named, there is a “luxury” line of bedding, with bed in a bag sets that are comfortable, look great, and are reasonably priced, even for a pake like me. I got something in Egyptian cotton that really feels divine.
you’ve been sleeping on a futon all along? ouch! we used to have a futon and it was so freakin uncomfortable. we have a king sized bed. it’s so tall we don’t even have it on a bed frame – just on the box springs on the floor. I think I’d need a ladder if we got a bed frame!
You think sleeping on an American futon is comfortable, try sleeping in a real, Japanese futon- on the floor! Admittedly I wasn’t able to do such a thing when I lived in Japan, so I bought these thin, foldable mattresses- 3 of them- and stacked them up. They still weren’t the greatest, but better than a real futon.
Oh yeah, and your new bed looks like my parents’ new(ish) bed. The first time I tried it out, I literally had to climb on it!
And yeah dude- your place is tiny!
Always nice to upgrade to a real bed. I think everyone hates when that happens too.
Sweet ass deal. Sweet ass bed. Sweet ass shot in the video 😉
I am digustingly jealous of the deal you got. Furious actually. That bed looks like heaven. Why has God forsaken me?
I felt a teeny bit little better knowing it was a full-size, which my (long-legged white husband) would never stand for. Hell, he gets excited whenever we go to hotels just so we can sleep on separate beds (mind you, I’m NOT cuddly, he just likes to sprawl out). I force him to sit on my bed and play with my hair until I fall asleep though…so I’ve gotten around his little game!
‘grats on the new bed. didn’t you used to sleep on the floor? must be some kinda wild-ass improvement. just don’t fall off of it. 30 inches is a long way to the floor, my friend.
That bed is amazing, and I can’t believe you got such a good price for it. And it’s humongous. If you want it to be even taller, get a set of risers. They add at least 5 inches. Although, judging by the size of your room, that might be a bad idea.
Futons are great, but I have memories of my roommates having sex on ours, so it’s kinda ruined for me. Besides, I’d rather have a waterbed than my twin bed. Nothing like sex on the high seas.
skibs – If my bed were just a few inches taller, I could’ve joined the Three Foot High Club.
Mir – Don’t forget to “test” your new bed!!!
jenn – I wish I could truly “break it in.” Also, my room may not be wide, but it is kind of long.
Domokun – If I had $800, I would probably get the 1500 thread count sheets or buy a date.
Lisa – I wanted the darker blue sheets but Macy’s didn’t have them. I also thought about forest green, but with darker colors, I think the bodily fluid stains are easily seen.
Chuck – Oooh, get that race car bed, like in Silver Spoons. That would rock, although your probably too tall for it.
BulkHeadd – I thought about doing the video with a paper bag on my head or with a pie tin on my face.
AmberLB – I dunno. If I walk into the Superstore-Behemoth-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named, I might just walk out with three of those sets…and shampoo…and lawn furniture, even though I don’t need it, but it was super cheap.
Webmiztris – I thought about ditching the bed frame so that I wouldn’t need to vacuum under the bed.
Toni – Oh maybe I’m just REALLY big. 🙂
Barb – Thank goodness it wasn’t a bunk bed.
Erika – If you play the video in slow motion, you can totally see my ass jiggle. I need to climb some stairs.
Josie – Joseph’s bed looked comfortable, but I think it had waaayyyy too many pillows.
dramastically – You remembered that. Yeah, that wasn’t very fun. But I’ve grown so much over the past five years and so has the quality and height of my sleeping situation. When I get my bunk bed, that’s when I know I’ve made it in the world.
Brie – Oooh, concrete blocks. Also, I don’t know if I would like to make sweet, sweet lovin’ on a waterbed because I’m afraid a spiked collar or a woman’s stiletto heels might puncture it.
LOL nice video, Marvo. That bed looks like it would be totally terrifying to fall out of, though. Good luck with the new sleeping arrangements, don’t forget to pack a parachute!
Nice bed…so when do I get to sample it? By the way, loved that little “jiggle” your butt did at the end of the video! Ha!
excellent deal. i paid way more for a similar mattress. have you tried turning it every 3 months like they suggest? not over just around. hahahhahahahhahaha good luck.
nice review! i also quite like the green tea slurpee item. great news value, my man
Since when does Sears sell mattresses?
I guess the trick is to try sleeping right in the centre of the bed. Haha. Although that isn’t even foolproof, actually. 😉
(That fall must’ve hurt.)
Rhawb – Actually, I think a floor of pillow would suffice.
The Other ‘M’ – The jiggle just proves that I need to go on a stairmaster.
Lacey – The sales person told me i didn’t need to do anything. Also, wouldn’t it be easier to just sleep in the opposite direction instead of having to turn around the bed?
tg – But I’ve been doing a lot of beverage reviews recently, not many food reviews. Must go back to food.
Muneer – I didn’t even know they sold mattresses. The mattress department at the Sears I purchased it from was in hidden corner behind all the sheets and other home goods.
Peachy – The fall didn’t really hurt me, because I made my stunt double do it. 😉
A spiked collar? Kinky…
Marvo
Consumer Reports says that 1000 TC sheets is shibai, it’s just a marketing ploy. Not that it wouldn’t feel good. I’m just surprised none of your female readers (or readers in general) so far, have not offered to help you “test” out your bed. I expected more.
83% discount?! hats off to you, marvo, that is an amazing saving you made!
also, i decided one day to treat myself to 600TD fitted sheets and 400TD doona (duvet to you Yanks) covers. it is a wonder i don’t slide off onto the floor every night.
bloody awesome, mate…
Haha, when I was visiting relatives in Hong Kong, I had to sleep on bamboo mats on the floor. It was…rather uncomfortable.
Also, that bed is really freaking huge, especially with the light from Ikea as a scale. I have the same light (really, thanks to your review), and my boxspring itself reaches up over the bottom lip. With that mattress on it, I think I would have a hard time jumping in it…
Darvo.
You’re truly one funny guy. Glad you’re sleeping on a big boy bed now. Haha You know you still break out your transformer sheets, actually I bet that’s what was covering your futon before the crack whore stole after she trifled through your now empty wallet. You still have to send her that thank you note for the herpes she gave you, don’t forget. AHah
In all seriousness.
You blog=amazing.
Marvo. oppss. dyslexia got the best of me.
Having purchased a new mattress myself recently, I can say that’s been without a doubt one of the best things I’ve done in life.
I get a good tingly feeling everytime I get on it. oohhhhh
enjoy it ~~
Brie – Even kinkier…it wouldn’t be around my neck.
LaneO – I don’t think I could afford 1000 TC sheets. Also, if I did have 1000 TC sheets and had a female reader help me test my bed, we might ruin the 1000 TC sheets.
Averil – I think silk sheets cause that too.
Larry – I once slept on my sister’s dorm room table. I figured it was cleaner than the floor.
Noelle – Yeah, those Transformers sheets, on one side it’s Autobots and other the other side is Decepticons.
Seriouznezz – I have totally been enjoying it. Now all I need is some way to make it vibrate and it will be even better. 🙂
I own the sleep number bed, and, though your review of this bed is glowing, I will never switch, and being that I am a big person (6’6″ 355lbs) I tend to break mattresses.
Truly entertaining review as always, Marvo. More importantly, I just saw the earthquake news and hope that you & your family & friends are all okay.
Yeah, Marvo, I too hope that you’re OK after the quake.
6.3! I may live in the land of earthquakes but that is big. I hope you are okay.
I am celebrating getting a cheap mattress from Ikea – having spent 4 years on Japanese futons (piled 3 high). It ain’t nothing compared to your princess-and-the-pea type bed but it’s so much better than what I had. I am actually having fond thoughts of my new bed right now. Yawn…
Hismikeness – I tend to get my heart broken…and plastic forks. 🙁
Kiki – I am okay. Just got up a little earlier than I wanted to. Plus, no electricity for the whole day.
BulkHedd – I’m fine, thanks for asking, but all I could eat was water and peanut butter and honey sandwiches because that’s all I had outside of the fridge.
Melbatoast – I’m fine, thanks for your concern. But the real question is: Does the Ikea in Japan have Swedish meatballs?
I like the way your rump kinda rocks side to side in that movie 🙂
nice movie…that happens to me all the time!
I soooooo need a new bed!
Of course!
marvo, hey yeah i was wondering if you were affected by the quake at all. did you have stuff falling off the shelves at all? my relatives were pretty close, but they were all ok.
man, that bed looks sweet though I agree it’s a little high. I’m used to the low-rider beds and futons.
Better than memory foam?
Great bed, great deal and you also have a great site.
Peachy – I gotta get on the Stairmaster.
Stuporstar – I hope you don’t fall off a cliff of a bed.
Suzanne – I soooooo need a new girlfriend!
Melbatoast – Mmmm…Swedish meatballs.
Bryan – You know what they say, “Once you go high, there’s nothing else you would want to try.” Damn that was lame. I was trying for the “Once you go black, you’ll never go back,” but failed miserably.
Dan – I’ve never slept on memory foam, but I don’t think I will, because I don’t like sleeping on things that can beat me at the game Concentration.
krista – Thanks for the greatness.