Sealy Posturepedic Sapphire SE Ultra Plush Euro Pillowtop Mattress

I used to sleep on a futon bed that easily transformed into a couch. If you lift one side up, the other side comes down and it forms a couch. Of course, that’s the only up and down action that futon bed has ever seen since I’ve owned it.

Recently, I picked up the Sealy Posturepedic Sapphire SE Ultra Plush Euro Pillowtop Mattress, or NAMBLA for short. I ended up with a full sized version because it was the only clearance model left and I expect my bachelor ass to be sleeping alone for a very long time.

::tear::

Its original price was over $2,000, but the salesman said he had to get rid of it to make room for the new Sealy Posturepedic Sapphire SE Ultra Plush Euro Pillowtop Mattress II, or NAMBLA II for short. So I ended up getting an 83 percent discount on it and paid $342.93 for it, not including the box spring, delivery, and the bed frame, which brought the total to about $530.

I REALLY wanted a bed shaped like a heart that rotated and vibrated with red and black tiger print silk sheets on top of it. However, I realized that I should have something practical. Although, a heart-shaped bed that rotates and vibrates with red and black tiger print silk sheets is actually practical…but only when making sweet, sweet lovin’.

I’ve been sleeping on the Sealy Posturepedic Sapphire SE Ultra Plush Euro Pillowtop Mattress for the past four days and it’s definitely an upgrade from my previous bed. But then again, almost ANYTHING would’ve been a step up from my futon bed, like a hobo’s flattened refrigerator cardboard box or the multiple-body-fluid-stained mattress of a three dollar crack whore.

It’s a REALLY comfortable bed and probably the best one I’ve ever slept on. The Sealy Posturepedic Sapphire SE Ultra Plush Euro Pillowtop Mattress is even more comfortable thanks to the 300 thread count sheets I bought for it.

If you haven’t slept on 300 thread count sheets and still are sleeping on your 1980s Transformers or My Little Pony bed sheets, I’d suggest you definitely upgrade. High thread count sheets feel really good, just as good as red and black tiger print silk sheets.

Perhaps the major reason why the Sealy Posturepedic Sapphire SE Ultra Plush Euro Pillowtop Mattress is so comfortable is because it’s FRICKIN’ THICK. The mattress itself is 13 inches thick. Add the box spring and the bed frame and the total height of my bed is 30 inches. My roommate’s bed is only 20 inches tall.

If only my bed was 63,330 inches taller and I could find a woman willing to make sweet, sweet lovin’ with me, then I could join the Mile High Club.

Thirty inches is a little too tall and I have to admit that I do have to jump a little to get onto my bed, but that’s not the real problem about my bed’s height. The real problem is when this happens (Quicktime required).

Item: Sealy Posturepedic Sapphire SE Ultra Plush Euro Pillowtop Mattress
Price: $342.93 (Mattress Only)
Purchased at: Sears
Rating: 4 out of 5
Pros: REALLY comfortable. Definitely an upgrade from a futon bed. Red and black tiger print silk sheets. Getting an 83 percent discount. 300 thread count sheets.
Cons: When this happens. Having to jump a little to get onto my bed. Those still using 1980s Transformers or My Little Pony sheets. NAMBLA, but not my NAMBLA. Sleeping on a multiple-body-fluid-stained mattress of a three dollar crack whore.

45 thoughts to “Sealy Posturepedic Sapphire SE Ultra Plush Euro Pillowtop Mattress”

  1. marvo, hey yeah i was wondering if you were affected by the quake at all. did you have stuff falling off the shelves at all? my relatives were pretty close, but they were all ok.

    man, that bed looks sweet though I agree it’s a little high. I’m used to the low-rider beds and futons.

  2. Peachy – I gotta get on the Stairmaster.

    Stuporstar – I hope you don’t fall off a cliff of a bed.

    Suzanne – I soooooo need a new girlfriend!

    Melbatoast – Mmmm…Swedish meatballs.

    Bryan – You know what they say, “Once you go high, there’s nothing else you would want to try.” Damn that was lame. I was trying for the “Once you go black, you’ll never go back,” but failed miserably.

    Dan – I’ve never slept on memory foam, but I don’t think I will, because I don’t like sleeping on things that can beat me at the game Concentration.

    krista – Thanks for the greatness.

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