This review is dedicated to all the MILFs out there. Because without them, the population wouldn’t grow and the Fountains of Wayne song, “Stacy’s Mom” wouldn’t exist.
Let’s face it, MILFs. Raising children can be hard. Sure, conceiving children is fun, but raising them and pushing them out through your vagina…not so much. How do I know this? Because I was once a child that would cause my mother lots of grief.
I would cry over spilled milk. I would sob when I pooped in my pants. I would weep when I wet my bed. I shed tears when I stepped on a Lego piece. I would wail and call out for my mommy when the big girls in school would push me around.
I was a wuss and I’m probably still one, proving right the message I once received from a fortune cookie. It said, “You are what you come out of,” and I came out of a pussy.
Growing up, I was not only a wuss, I was also a curious child trying things that caused my mom stress, like attempt to dunk a basketball using a mini exercise trampoline, play catch with a prickly pear fruit, and undress my sister’s Barbie dolls.
My youthful curiosity also caused me to ask way too many questions, which was also something that probably irked my mom because she might’ve not known the answer or how to answer the question without corrupting my innocent young mind. Questions like: Why can’t I have ice cream for breakfast? What does “shit” mean? Why does Mr. T always pity the fool? What does beer taste like? How can Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble have such hot wives? Why is the horse trying to ride the other horse?
Back then, to relieve the stress that I was giving her, I think the only options she had was to soak herself in Calgon or cry on my dad’s shoulder. Today, MILFs have more options to relieve stress, like the new Bath & Body Works Aromatherapy Eucalyptus Spearmint Body Wash.
I picked up this particular Bath & Body Works body wash because I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain’t one. I’d list all 99 problems, but listing all of them would give me one more problem to worry about and I don’t want 100 problems, but I’ll just say that I need to find out what came first, the chicken or the egg and I REALLY need to get out of my head the same continuous loop of wailing that’s in the House of Pain song “Jump Around.”
According to the bottle, in order to help me relieve stress and temporarily forget my problems, the Bath & Body Works Aromatherapy Eucalyptus Spearmint Body Wash contains:
The fresh essence of pure Australian Eucalyptus oil is greatly valued for its clarifying and relaxing effects. It is blended here with a complementary balance of American Spearmint essence, renowned for its calmative powers.
The bottle goes on to say:
Feel stress fade away as you lather this relaxing skin cleanser and let its calming blend of eucalyptus and spearmint essential oils comfort your soul and soften your skin.
So did it help me relieve stress and forget my problems?
The Bath & Body Works Aromatherapy Eucalyptus Spearmint Body Wash’s clean, menthol-ish smell was kind of weird and kind of nice as I lathered it all over my wet, naked and dirty body. I guess its scent was a little soothing, but not strong enough to relieve my stress.
Also, since almost everyone rinses off in the shower once completely lathered, which takes about a minute or two, they won’t be able to appreciate its aroma for a very long time. I don’t think there are many people who stand in a shower all lathered up for extended periods of time, except shower singers and masturbators.
Yes MILFs, it’s stressful raising a sperm and egg and turning them into a contributing member of society. There are lots of ups and downs along the way, but as long as they stay out of prison and your house after they graduate, it will be all worth it.
Item: Bath & Body Works Aromatherapy Eucalyptus Spearmint Body Wash
Price: $13.00 (10 ounces)
Purchased at: Bath & Body Works
Rating: 3 out of 5
Pros: Gets me clean. It’s scent was a little soothing, but was kind of weird smelling at the same time. Some green tea to help cleanse and soothe the skin. Finished product was not tested on animals.
Cons: Really pricey for a body wash. Clean menthol-ish scent was kind of weird. Can’t appreciate aroma for a very long in the shower unless you’re a shower singer or masturbator. The world without the Fountains of Wayne song “Stacy’s Mom.” Your children ending up prison. My 99 problems.
26 thoughts to “Bath & Body Works Aromatherapy Eucalyptus Spearmint Body Wash”
Oh, Marvo. Your poor mother. LOL
I have to ask, did you go to B&BW to buy this stuff yourself? Guys always tell me they’ll never buy stuff from “that girly place.”
Brie – Yup, I bought this stuff myself at a Bath & Body Works at an outlet mall near Sacramento. Those guys that tell you they won’t buy stuff from “that girly place” are stupid. Don’t they realize that Bath & Body Works stuff equals quick unexpected gift for girlfriends? And quick unexpected gift for girlfriends equals sweet, sweet lovin’.
I liked the Flintstones movie, but I thought they totally messed up on the casting of Rosie O’Donnell as Betty. “Hot” and “Rosie” just don’t co-exist for me.
Chuck – Rosie the Robot Maid from The Jetsons is much hotter than Rosie O’Donnell and because Rosie the Robot Maid in made out of metal, she can conduct heat much better, which in turn makes her even more hotter…literally.
that’s why I never buy body wash. the scent never lasts, so what’s the point? my mom loves that stuff though. but then again, she IS a MILF.
I don’t think you get to label your own mom as a MILF. It’s just a little too creepy, get some passive sentence construction in there to tone down the ick factor.
Someone at work has brought in a B&BW product and left it in the ladies room for all of us to “enjoy”. I don’t know when B&BW released a “Decomposing Ferret” product line, but that shit is rank. Whoever thought they were getting spontaneous lovin’ from that gift was in for a big shock, I think.
Have you joined jdate.com yet?
I have that whole line of stuff (the lotion, the massage oil, the bubble bath) and my kids are still delinquents. Clearly I’m using it wrong.
Do I need to send you something from Lush to review? B&BW products just smack of effort. I expect so little from them, and I get even less.
Wait, so, being born via C-section, I’m a…stomache..?
I prefer BB&B personally, their wickedy hot chocolate wash and lotion rock, but frankly, never made the stress of child rearing any better. I can think of only one thing that would, but I hear social services frowns upon soundproof “kid” kennels…………….
Well, I’m not a mother, let alone a MILF, but this product sounds less than inspiring. St. Ives Energizing Citrus has a nice smell (mostly grapefruit, with some tangerine and lime) and the scent actually lasts a while, plus it’s inexpensive. Maybe after you find your online girlfriend, you two can have some fun with bodywash…
Bathing in green tea has to be better than drinking it. 13.00 for body wash is insanity though. I’d hate to smell like menthol for even a moment. Menthol is a horrible word.
I do have to say that you have a product review variety that goes unmatched by all other sites. I believe I just gave you “props”.
being a shower singer, it sounds like i might appreciate that stuff… ^^;; and.. why DO fred flintstone and barney rubble have such hot wives??
Webmiztris – For years, I used bars of soap, but for some reason body wash makes taking a shower much easier.
Wednesday – Maybe that’s the reason why that person left it in the ladies room. B&BW has sooooo many scents that there has to be some real shitty ones out there.
Sara – I did a search on jdate.com for a possible date in Hawaii and came up with ONLY 22 results.
Mir – You’re obviously using them wrong. If Monkey does anything bad, tell him mommy is going to make him smell like a girl.
Domokun – Actually, there is a product at Lush that I want to review. Some kind of Jello soap. Wait! Why am I talking about Lush products? I am not metrosexual. I am not a metrosexual.
Sep – Be glad you’re not a chicken egg.
Barb – No, don’t call it a kid kennel. Call it a portable timeout box.
Kiki – You know, I can have fun with body wash by myself. 🙂
L Boogie – Thanks for the props! Can I borrow $13 for body wash?
Tamara – If I knew the answer to that, I would have a hot wife right now. Then I would teach my hot wife gaining techniques to thousands of guys via a seminar called, “Get the Girl You Don’t Deserve.”
I gotcha covered, babe. You’d probably want the Party On gel. Supposed to help you with your hangover.
Someday if you ever have time, I think it would be great to read Marvo’s list of his 99 problems.
I think I’m too cheap for Bath & Body MILF-hood. Right now I’m using CVS knock-off Dove body wash, which I don’t think is MILFy at all. I’m sort of ashamed now.
Domokun – I’m afraid to ask where I should put on Party On gel.
Zadillo – Dudes who wear low cut jeans and go commando.
Melanie – Don’t be ashamed. Maybe you’ll get some Bath & Body Works stuff as a gift or win it in a prize drawing…
When I have a migraine, I use Eucalyptus Spearmint Pillow Spray and it really helps. Love that stuff.
I hope you didn’t wash your danger zone with the eucalyptus.
Ah Marvo, yes $13 is expensive for a body wash, which is why I wait until Bath and Body Works has their massive sales (which is frequently). For example, they had an after New Year’s sale that lasted for about a month. Nearly everything in the store was $5. I went nuts and bought a year’s worth of lotions and body washes and spent only $30. I got the jasmine vanilla body wash, and it smells awesome. I got the matching lotion so that the scent lingers longer on my skin.
Marvo! Talking about your mom and the term MILF in the same paragraph is so wrong! Although we can get Lush products here, I find some of their stuffs funky. Like their bar-form shampoo.
Suzi – I hope you don’t have migraine too often, but if you do I hope you buy the gallon-sized Eucalyptus Spearmint Pillow Spray.
Aimee – Of course I did. Except when koala were around.
Toni – Your boyfriend is lucky.
LaneO – Oooh, bar-form shampoo! That sounds TOTALLY reviewable!!!!!
Paul Mitchell Tea Tree Body Bar makes your nether regions tingle; you should try it. My friend brought me a sample once, which I thought was random & silly to pass out soap, until I showered with it & it was fun! It’s kinda like The Shocker in soap form.
Heather – My nether regions already tingle. I think it’s a medical condtion.
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