Bath & Body Works Aromatherapy Eucalyptus Spearmint Body Wash

This review is dedicated to all the MILFs out there. Because without them, the population wouldn’t grow and the Fountains of Wayne song, “Stacy’s Mom” wouldn’t exist.

Let’s face it, MILFs. Raising children can be hard. Sure, conceiving children is fun, but raising them and pushing them out through your vagina…not so much. How do I know this? Because I was once a child that would cause my mother lots of grief.

I would cry over spilled milk. I would sob when I pooped in my pants. I would weep when I wet my bed. I shed tears when I stepped on a Lego piece. I would wail and call out for my mommy when the big girls in school would push me around.

I was a wuss and I’m probably still one, proving right the message I once received from a fortune cookie. It said, “You are what you come out of,” and I came out of a pussy.

Growing up, I was not only a wuss, I was also a curious child trying things that caused my mom stress, like attempt to dunk a basketball using a mini exercise trampoline, play catch with a prickly pear fruit, and undress my sister’s Barbie dolls.

My youthful curiosity also caused me to ask way too many questions, which was also something that probably irked my mom because she might’ve not known the answer or how to answer the question without corrupting my innocent young mind. Questions like: Why can’t I have ice cream for breakfast? What does “shit” mean? Why does Mr. T always pity the fool? What does beer taste like? How can Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble have such hot wives? Why is the horse trying to ride the other horse?

Back then, to relieve the stress that I was giving her, I think the only options she had was to soak herself in Calgon or cry on my dad’s shoulder. Today, MILFs have more options to relieve stress, like the new Bath & Body Works Aromatherapy Eucalyptus Spearmint Body Wash.

I picked up this particular Bath & Body Works body wash because I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain’t one. I’d list all 99 problems, but listing all of them would give me one more problem to worry about and I don’t want 100 problems, but I’ll just say that I need to find out what came first, the chicken or the egg and I REALLY need to get out of my head the same continuous loop of wailing that’s in the House of Pain song “Jump Around.”

According to the bottle, in order to help me relieve stress and temporarily forget my problems, the Bath & Body Works Aromatherapy Eucalyptus Spearmint Body Wash contains:

The fresh essence of pure Australian Eucalyptus oil is greatly valued for its clarifying and relaxing effects. It is blended here with a complementary balance of American Spearmint essence, renowned for its calmative powers.

The bottle goes on to say:

Feel stress fade away as you lather this relaxing skin cleanser and let its calming blend of eucalyptus and spearmint essential oils comfort your soul and soften your skin.

So did it help me relieve stress and forget my problems?

The Bath & Body Works Aromatherapy Eucalyptus Spearmint Body Wash’s clean, menthol-ish smell was kind of weird and kind of nice as I lathered it all over my wet, naked and dirty body. I guess its scent was a little soothing, but not strong enough to relieve my stress.

Also, since almost everyone rinses off in the shower once completely lathered, which takes about a minute or two, they won’t be able to appreciate its aroma for a very long time. I don’t think there are many people who stand in a shower all lathered up for extended periods of time, except shower singers and masturbators.

Yes MILFs, it’s stressful raising a sperm and egg and turning them into a contributing member of society. There are lots of ups and downs along the way, but as long as they stay out of prison and your house after they graduate, it will be all worth it.

Item: Bath & Body Works Aromatherapy Eucalyptus Spearmint Body Wash
Price: $13.00 (10 ounces)
Purchased at: Bath & Body Works
Rating: 3 out of 5
Pros: Gets me clean. It’s scent was a little soothing, but was kind of weird smelling at the same time. Some green tea to help cleanse and soothe the skin. Finished product was not tested on animals.
Cons: Really pricey for a body wash. Clean menthol-ish scent was kind of weird. Can’t appreciate aroma for a very long in the shower unless you’re a shower singer or masturbator. The world without the Fountains of Wayne song “Stacy’s Mom.” Your children ending up prison. My 99 problems.

26 thoughts to “Bath & Body Works Aromatherapy Eucalyptus Spearmint Body Wash”

  1. Ah Marvo, yes $13 is expensive for a body wash, which is why I wait until Bath and Body Works has their massive sales (which is frequently). For example, they had an after New Year’s sale that lasted for about a month. Nearly everything in the store was $5. I went nuts and bought a year’s worth of lotions and body washes and spent only $30. I got the jasmine vanilla body wash, and it smells awesome. I got the matching lotion so that the scent lingers longer on my skin.

  2. Marvo! Talking about your mom and the term MILF in the same paragraph is so wrong! Although we can get Lush products here, I find some of their stuffs funky. Like their bar-form shampoo.

  3. Suzi – I hope you don’t have migraine too often, but if you do I hope you buy the gallon-sized Eucalyptus Spearmint Pillow Spray.

    Aimee – Of course I did. Except when koala were around.

    Toni – Your boyfriend is lucky.

    LaneO – Oooh, bar-form shampoo! That sounds TOTALLY reviewable!!!!!

  4. Paul Mitchell Tea Tree Body Bar makes your nether regions tingle; you should try it. My friend brought me a sample once, which I thought was random & silly to pass out soap, until I showered with it & it was fun! It’s kinda like The Shocker in soap form.

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