Burger King Loaded Steakhouse Burger

When The King isn’t watching you sleep or molesting your children, he’s in the corporate test kitchen. He’s probably molesting the chefs too, but what he’s really doing is finding ways to slowly kill you with fat so that he may harvest your organs to pay for the medical bills that come from maintaining that abnormally large head of his. It’s no surprise that he managed to get this gut-busting Burger King Loaded Steakhouse Burger green-lit.

There’s also a regular Steakhouse Burger that has lettuce and tomatoes, but for entertainment purposes I decided to go with the more gastronomically disgusting Loaded variety. It’s a cubed angus steak (basically chewy ground beef), about ten strips of bacon, A1 Sauce, fried onion strings, and “loaded mashed potatoes on a corn-dusted bun. I use the term “loaded” very loosely because I got a smear of mashed potatoes the size of a pat of butter. “Ripped Off” mashed potatoes would be much more fitting.

Of course, I haven’t even gotten to the insanity inherent in a burger with mashed potatoes as a selling point. KFC already crossed several lines with their Famous Bowls, but the PR people at Burger King took it to another level by trying to sell this burger as “the indulgence of an entire steak dinner at a fraction of the cost.” What they fail to mention is that the steak dinner they are referring to is Banquet’s Salisbury Steak, which is on sale at your local supermarket for 99 cents, ironically a fraction of the $6.99 you’ll be paying for this combo.

Once you get down to it, you’re paying a rather hefty price for a rather meager burger that consists of dry, chewy beef, a pig’s ass worth of bacon, a gentle wipe of mashed potatoes, and some crushed Funyuns. This is the type of burger that you should be absolutely embarrassed to order. It is the type of burger that is only dreamt up by the fattest of all fat people and the stoniest of all stoners. The type of burger that you want to tell your mom about, but are too afraid because she would think you were shooting up heroin with the wrong crowd.

Don’t let The King harvest your organs. Boycott this overpriced monstrosity.

Item: Burger King Loaded Steakhouse Burger
Price: $6.99 for medium combo
Purchased at: Burger King
Rating: 2 out of 10
Pros: A ridiculous yet ballsy concept for a burger. A fun story to tell your friends about after it gets pulled. A1 sauce tastes a little better than Burger King’s barbecue sauce.
Cons: Burger is way smaller than advertised. Almost no mashed potatoes. Onions are nearly non-existent. Angus beefsteak is chewy and flavorless. Horrendously overpriced. The King.

48 thoughts to “Burger King Loaded Steakhouse Burger”

  1. I’m not going to boycott The King because I don’t want to wake up with a horse’s head next to me…or even worse, waking up with a Naked King next to me. The nakedness isn’t going to freak me out, but his huge head will.

  2. This looks so disgusting, I can’t even think about ordering it. (Though the next time we go, I imagine my boyfriend will. He ate the last really gross product they had…what was that? The one with the buttery toast and gooey cheese sauce on the burger.) I just want to know how to get a job coming up with these things. I can put a lot of disgusting shit together then get high and come up with a marketing plan.

  3. Hmmm…I do like A-1 sauce, but I think I’ll have to pass on this one. Mashed potatoes, WTF?

    And by the way, Ace, are you and Marvo having a duel this week to see who can raise their cholesterol the highest in a short amount of time?

  4. Mashed potato in the burger? I can’t even try this one.
    I will however dare the husband to eat it.

  5. I’m not sure if the lack of mashed potato is a pro or a con. In a fit of curiosity, I tried to find the nutritional information on this bad boy. The King has hidden it very, very well. I suspect its a “if you have to ask you really shouldn’t get this” type of situation.

    By stomach hurts just reading the last two reviews. Icky.

  6. gah, this is like one of those terrible movies you’ve got to watch just to see how bad it is

    your low review has challenged me to get one!

  7. I am so glad I’m not the only one thinking about potatoes on a hamburger. I had figured that it just would be carb overload but now that I see that it is not a bad thing.

    For the record, thanks to your review, I will pass on this sandwich. Instead, I will make my own similar version at home for lunch today.

  8. i love gut busting heart attack inducing foods, but the way you described this one….iono i may just have to let this one go.

  9. The bun looks like something you’d find at Wendy’s, and not usual Burger King fare. Odd.

  10. I suspected that this review was an April Fools joke because, really, that couldn’t exist, could it?

    Now I am just sort of horrified.

  11. the fact that i passed on ordering this at lunch today and stuck with the whopper instead makes me feel a bit more confident that i’m not *the* fattest of the fat kids. yet.

  12. Loves the “gentle wipe of mashed potatoes”, I nearly spit out my tasty, refreshing water reading that. I seriously got a stomach ache from eating a Whopper two days ago…I’d probably go into cardiac arrest just being in the same room with that monstrosity of a sandwich.

    And just out of curiosity: what exactly are “loaded” mashed potatoes?

  13. Notblonde, loaded mashed potatoes are potatoes with butter, sour cream, bacon and cheese. Occasionally they have chives as well. I’m guessing these are just instant mashed potatoes with loaded potato flavor.

  14. Ace, from the picture, it looks like someone crapped on your burger. You didn’t actually eat that thing did you?

  15. Marvo – Which head are we talking about here?

    bj – I think that was the homestyle melt, which Marvo chowed down to the tune of 2 out of 5, which if my calculator is correct, would be a 4 out of 10 on the new scale. So it’s half as bad as this new burger.

    Chuck – If you haven’t noticed, we’ve been dueling the entire time I’ve been writing here.

    demondoll – Sorry to say this, but you should divorce him if he likes it. Unless he’s rich.

    Shannon – I hope they made your’s good, because I’d rather eat their $1.29 rodeo burger.

    SheRa – Yeah, I tried looking for it too and it is mysteriously absent from the website. How very, very odd…

    GS – We didn’t plan this out, but I think my synergy with Marvo is becoming increasingly frightening.

    jdeuel – Tell me if you thought it was worth the $$$!

  16. Kylie – I have no problems with potatoes in burgers when it’s done right. I can’t eat a Big Mac without sticking a couple layers of fries in there.

    liz – I usually love it too, but some times too much of a good thing becomes too much of a good thing.

    ADHD – Yes, it is their “premium” bun which is supposed to make the sandwich fancier.

    ultradave – Oh, it’s very real. I’m not sure why it’s real, but it certainly is.

    betsy – Good choice, the Whopper is 10x better than anything else on their menu. Something about the combo of ketchup, beef drippings, and that mayonnaise makes me happy in ways that are downright disturbing.

    Jeremy Hobbs – Have a bag ready. And make sure it doesn’t have holes in it.

    NotBlonde – Loaded mashed potatoes have bacon and cheese in it, though I would have never guessed it from the stuff that was in my sandwich.

  17. Molly – Even if someone did drop a deuce on it, I’m legally obliged to eat it for this website. I should have had my lawyers look at the TIB contract before I signed it, I knew that Marvo was giggling uncontrollably for a reason.

  18. I went in to try this yesterday, but they gave me the regular one. The one with no A1, and with no mashed potatoes. The two parts I got excited about. Thanks, guys – I got back to the office and realized I payed extra to get a glorified bacon cheeseburger. I love onion rings on burgers though, so at least I enjoyed it a little bit.

  19. Ace, you would eat a deuce for Marvo? Wow, that’s touching…..in a poop-eating, perverse, stalker-ish sort of way.

  20. Rhawb – Burger King already has the Rodeo Burger, which is 3 times cheaper and tastes at least as good as this! I hope you get those where you live.

    Nevis – I prefer to think of it as business…I wouldn’t eat half the things I review if I didn’t have to.

  21. Ew, bacon and cheese in mashed potatoes? Is this some kind of middle-American food I’ve clearly not come into contact with? I’ve had baked potatoes with sour cream and butter (I hates me some chives), but bacon AND cheese?

  22. Notblonde, I don’t think it is “middle-American”. I usually only see loaded potatoes on menus at chain restaurants, and that is nation wide (think outback and applebees). Sour cream and butter is standard on baked potatoes, then the bacon and cheese is added to make it loaded. I’m actually amazed that you haven’t come across them before!

  23. I guess I’m not a chain restaurant kind of person…although I have a weird obsession with Sizzler’s. Now that I think about it, I stopped going to TGI Fridays when I asked them not to put cheese in my mashed potatoes but they did it anyway…that had to be the narstiest thing I’ve ever tasted.

  24. I actually had this for lunch today….OMG soooooooo good! Coulda used a bit more mashed potatoes, but mmmmmMMM! YUMMY!!! That kinda is a carb nightmare though….mash potatoes on BREAD plus when you eat fries as well??? WOW I think I need to get my stomach pumped now.

  25. You must have some crappy BK over there. The one I work at makes this sandwich the way it is supposed to be. 2 handfuls of onions and an ice cream scoop of potatoes. But when made correctly I still can’t eat it.

  26. An ice cream scoop of potatoes? gross.

    And notblonde, though I love the “chain restaurant person” insult, I am not either. I just happened to work at one in college.

  27. Hi, Ace! I had this a couple weeks ago, and, not reading the menu description, did not even realize those were “potatoes” I was wolfing down. That’s how un-potato-y they were. I prefer their Stackers, or, for particularly delicious morning self-loathing, the Enormous Omelet Breakfast Sandwich.

  28. Whoa now, I didn’t mean to insult you. I was quite literally talking about me not going to chain restaurants; I have nothing against people who do. It’s just like if I said I’m not a Wes Anderson movie type person. Which I totally am not.

  29. That is true. I’ve never gotten Wes Anderson. But I detest Paul Thomas Anderson more. People with the last name of “Anderson” should be banned from the film industry.

  30. Ok, I did a search on Loaded Steakhouse Burger King to see if I could pull up what all was on it to relay it to a friend on the phone and I found this. I am laughing so hard over here. We NEVER eat at BK, but swung through in a time crunch last weekend after soccer games. My husband ordered the loaded version. I didn’t even look at it on the menu, but when he started eating it, I was like “WHAT IS THAT?” At first I thought YUCK – and then I said well – heck – let me try it – I am still reeling from shock. I DID like it – I am NOT sure I will order it myself – but I really want him to order it again so I can have another go at it – ha ha ha ha. “only dreamed up by the fattest of all fat people” – that is hysterical. It does make me want to go back to BK though – which is normally NOT on my list for quick drive through food with the kids. Gross – but pretty fascinating.

  31. Thank you so much for protecting me from this travesty. I got a coupon for a buy one get one free, also FREE medium drink and medium fries with a purchase of any steakhouse sandwich.

    Your review and comments started my day with laughing so hard I’m wiping the tears. THANKS again, and my cardiologist and psychologist thank you.

  32. Oh, how I wish I’d listened to this review. This was, without a doubt, the nastiest hamburger I have ever eaten. I like Burger King. In fact, the Whopper is my favorite fast-food hamburger of them all. But, somehow I let the kid behind the counter talk me into trying this, and that was a huge mistake.

  33. I just tryed this burger and I liked it. I didn’t know it had mash potatoes on it until I started eating it. It was actually really good. I probably wouldn’t have ordered it if I would have known there was mashed potatoes on it. They put a little too much mashed potatoes on mine though, just a little less would have been way better.

  34. So I saw it on tv.. .I saw the ads for it and had to try it… after I went to weight watchers and weighed in!!! I’m down to my goal weight of 115lbs. and every Monday after I weigh in, I get some really bad for me, good tasting food and then back to diet all week…well.. I just had to have this NEW Steakhouse burger.. of course I had to have the loaded one.. I was so disappointed! a pinch of Mashed potatos… 2 small pieces of bacon and those onion things… the meat was big and good but it was NOT at all worth my Monday splurge…. then I asked for the nutritional content, which they didn’t have and then I did see the nutritional content for the other burgers which were the same size as this thing…. I almost wen into the bathroom and threw it all up… Burger King has the HIGHEST FAT CONTENT EVER!!! A triple whopper with cheese has more calories and fat then I am allowed to eat in 2 days!!! I’M NEVER EATING AT BURGER KING AGAIN!!!

  35. Even though I weigh only 122, i suppose I’m in that group with the fattest of the fat! I get this burger at least once a week. I get the classic one and add bbq sauce to it. Besides burgers, I never eat red meat but I love any burger with fried onions, cheese, bacon and bbq sauce. My cholesterol is under 50, so I guess it’s okay for me to splurge a little here and there. 🙂

  36. I always try new things when they come out, so I just had to give this a try. I got the loaded one. I’m lucky enough to live in a town where the fast food workers aren’t totally pathetic, so they actually made my burger right.

    The thing was loaded with potatoes, bacon, and onions. It looked bigger than the ones they show in their ads. It was amazing as well. The beef had a good flavor to it, kinda reminded me a bit of a DQ burger. The potatoes and bacon really made it an amazing burger.

    As yummy as it was I won’t be getting another one. My goal is to lose weight not gain it. Back to Subway I go for a 6″ turkey. 🙁

  37. I tried one yesterday and it felt like I was pouring pure fat into my arteries as I ate it, very disgusting. This burger was made to kill.

  38. Out of sheer morbid curiosity, I tried this burger today. Ugh. I was pretty happy to see that I’m not the only one who hates tasteless bargain beef patties from Banquet. What were they thinking?

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