They did it. I canâ€™t fucking believe it. Someone is selling a canned beverage that has bird spit in it. Is demand really that high? Or was there a choice between a drink based on bird spit or bird balls soup? I guess the Nice Look Drink is a Chinese energy drink or something like it, judging by its cheesy name and the can is the size of a Red Bull. The avian saliva comes from the bird’s nest soup in the beverage, which according to Wikipedia is believed to, â€œaid digestion, raise libido, improve the voice, alleviate asthma, improve focus, and boost the immune system.â€
So basically, itâ€™s a fuck drink. Oh, and the ingredient list is mercifully short too: water, white fungus, birdâ€™s nest, rock sugar, and vanilla. So itâ€™s an organic fuck drink, I stand corrected.
I popped the top open to find myself inhaling a rather unusual smell for a beverage. It smells like a Chinese bakery, a really good one that has fresh baked buns, cakes, and tarts. Itâ€™s actually one of my favorite kinds of smells when I was a kid, visiting bakeries in Toronto on the way to see my relatives. Although, it is a bit strange to smell baked goods just before you fuck; nothing like a freshly baked pie before you get your pie!
It gets worse. Although, Iâ€™ll admit, how good can a drink based on a soup loaded with bird hock really be? Especially if it looks like the toilet bowl at my work, loaded with piss and toilet paper? Nice Look Drink, my ass. I should have bought the Ass Am Milk Tea instead. At least you get what you pay for, literally.
It feels thicker than water, like sugar syrup, and the fungus/birdâ€™s nest feels pretty gelatinous on the tongue. Itâ€™s kind of like a thin egg drop soup, so to speak.
How does it taste? It almost tastes like Yeoâ€™s White Gourd drink (similar smell, too), with a sweet bread/cookie-ish taste to it. Thatâ€™s not to say itâ€™s good. Itâ€™s not. Thereâ€™s also this floweriness to it that peaks in the aftertaste. And Iâ€™ve never been much of a fan of flowers in food. I think it feminizes the food somehow. Itâ€™s sort of like dressing Batman up with pink or Scottish plaid external underwear instead of the black underwear. It just doesnâ€™t work.
I wish I was in California, cause then I could recycle this crap and get 5 cents back, which Iâ€™d use for a cheap tranny hooker.
(Nutrition Facts – 1 godawful can – 72 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 12 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 1 grams of dietary fiber, 17 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, and 400% DV of bird hawk.)
Item: Nice Look Drink
Size: 250 ml
Purchased at: China Mart
Rating: 1 out of 10
Pros: Chinese bakery smell. Fuck drink. Probably organic. Short list of ingredients. Recyclable in California for $0.05. Cheap tranny hookers.
Cons: Sweet bread taste. Flowery-ness. Thin texture. Piss and TP appearance. Bird hawk. Misleading name. Batman without black undies.