REVIEW: Terra Crinkles Yukon Gold Garlic Mashed Potato Chips

The Terra Crinkles Yukon Gold Garlic Mashed Potato Chips tasted all right, but they disgusted me. The reason why I found these potato chips to be repulsive was because they committed flavor incest.

And I’m not talking about the good kind of incest.

I find it wrong when one potato product tries to taste like another potato product and because these potato chips have the flavor of garlic mashed potatoes, I believe this product breaks one of the Ten Culinary Commandments — thou shall not covet thy neighbor’s flavor. It’s like if pork chops tasted like bacon, or if wheat bread tasted like white bread, or if all the things people say tastes like chicken tasted like chicken.

The Terra Crinkles Yukon Gold Garlic Mashed Potato Chips seemed like normal potato chips, but by committing flavor incest who knows what might’ve happened with them. There might’ve been defects, like square-shaped chips, excessive crinkles, non-crunchiness, or they might’ve had the level of brain damage only found in those who have the desire to become a D-List celebrity and whore itself to any reality show willing to pay it for its ability to be a total douchebag on television.

Like I wrote earlier, I think these potato chips were all right and they really did taste like garlic mashed potatoes. But it wasn’t good garlic mashed potatoes, like the kind you would find as a side dish for a delicious medium rare filet mignon at a top-notch steakhouse. Instead the potato chips were like the garlic mashed potatoes you would find in its own compartment in a Salisbury steak TV dinner. The garlic flavor tasted a little burnt, it had a strong onion flavor and there was a little tanginess, thanks to the buttermilk powder.

The Terra Crinkles Yukon Gold Garlic Mashed Potato Chips was not a case of something so wrong being so right. The flavor incest it engaged in made something so wrong be so-so.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 ounce – 130 calories, 6 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 170 milligrams of sodium, 19 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of dietary fiber, 1 gram of sugar, 2 grams of protein, and 2% Iron.)

Item: Terra Crinkles Yukon Gold Garlic Mashed Potato Chips
Price: $4.99
Size: 6 ounces
Purchased at: Whole Foods
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Tasted like garlic mashed potatoes, but not good garlic mashed potatoes. Crunchy. No trans fat. No defects. The good kind of incest.
Cons: Garlic flavor tasted a little burnt. Flavor incest. Being a D-List celebrity. Being a douchebag. The bad kind of incest. Breaking one of the Ten Culinary Commandments.

14 thoughts to “REVIEW: Terra Crinkles Yukon Gold Garlic Mashed Potato Chips”

  1. You know I have to ask. I’m required by law to do so. I can’t say which law as I’m making this up, but…

    What is the “good kind of incest”?

  2. Wow, that really is a shame, Does this means that these Terra Crinkles will go to Cullinary hell for breaking one of the 10 Culinary Commandments? Makes me wonder if any other foods are D-list cele equivalents.

  3. hmmmm I would almost be afraid to try these… I liked mashed potatoes..but I agree that might be slightly wretched in potato chip form.

  4. What would happen if you ate garlic mashed potatoes that tasted like potato chips??

  5. @Orchid64: If you have to ask, you’ve never experienced the good kind of incest, but when you experience it, you’ll know.

    @Woodenhand: Well they came from underground, so I think they might end up back there.

    @Heidi: I would get up and leave that restaurant because if the mashed potatoes are crunchy, then I’m pretty sure the main entree will be too.

    @NobleArc, The Lazy Canadian: It’s wrong. So wrong.

  6. I don’t understand this sort of cross-flavoring. If I want mashed potatoes, I sure as hell don’t want chips. And vice versa. It’s not like mashed potatoes are hard or expensive to acquire anyway.

  7. I haven’t had this flavor, but their Salt and Vinegar Yukon Gold chips are my favorite potato chips EVAH. I rarely buy them because I end up eating the whole bag within two days.

  8. the good kind of incest, obviously, is when it’s between twin sisters

  9. I wonder why they didn’t just make them garlic potato chips..that sounds much more appealing than garlic mashed potato chips.

  10. @Jeanette: I wish KFC was open 24 hours.

    @Soodonameo: Grab yourself some identical twins and find out.

    @Neil the hammer: Not quite.

    @Chuck: It takes you two days? I’m lucky if there are crumbs after 24 hours. Yeah, I’m gluttonous.

    @burt barrington: Bingo! 🙂

    @Natalie: Garlic potato chips do sound better. I’m sure someone has made them by now. If someone hasn’t, they should name it No Make Out Time For You Chips.

    @skibs: TV dinner potatoes are edible, but usually end up semi-frozen in some places despite sticking them in the microwave for 10 minutes.

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