REVIEW: Method Kid Squeaky Green Fuzzy Peach 3-in-1 Shampoo

As some of you know, I have a tendency to do things with the sexy, curvy bottles from the eco-friendly personal care and home cleaning product company Method that in all human cases would force me to have to register as a sex offender.

I will admit that I’m a little too friendly with them and I’ve been seeking help for it, but I would’ve never thought I’d find help in the form of a Method product bottle. The Method Kid Squeaky Green Fuzzy Peach 3-in-1 Shampoo is the first Method product that I have no desire to be playful with or to rub gently between my thighs, even though the toy-shaped bottle looks like it has a huge mouth waiting for something huge to fill it.

The bottle is curvy like most Method products, but it’s not a sexy curvy. It’s more like a cute curvy and I don’t feel comfortable fondling something the reminds me of my childhood friend, Totoro. So like Nicorette gum eventually weans people off of cigarettes, this cute, but not sexy bottle is slowly getting rid of my desire to molest other Method bottles.

The Method Kid Squeaky Clean Fuzzy Peach 3-in-1 is a tear-free shampoo, conditioner and body wash all wrapped into a bottle that I don’t want to touch in a way that makes it feel uncomfortable. The orange cream colored product inside has a consistency that’s a little more watery than most shampoos and body washes and it also doesn’t lather up as much. It’s 99% natural, hypo-allergenic and it’s never been tested on animals.

Its scent didn’t smell very peachy at first, instead it was a little more tropical, like a pina colada. So if your kid likes pina coladas and getting caught in the rain. If they’re not into yoga. If they have half-a-brain. If they’d like making love at midnight in the dunes on the cape. Then this product is the love that they’ve looked for. Pick it up and escape.

The best part of the Method Kid Squeaky Green Fuzzy Peach 3-in-1 Shampoo is the way it doles out its product. Its dispensing mechanism is on the bottom of the bottle and it doesn’t need a cap, because it has been engineered to have the leak prevention power of well Kegel exercised muscles on steroids. Or a more appropriate way to explain it, since where it’s dispensed is located at the bottom of the toy character-shaped bottle and between its legs, would be to say that it’s like an asshole (and I’m talking anatomical not Christian Bale). This bit of technology, I assume, makes it easier for parents to wash their little children because they don’t have to worry about flipping bottle tops or anything bothersome like that.

If I had a kid, I would probably pick up Method Kid Squeaky Green Fuzzy Peach 3-in-1 Shampoo because I would only need one product to clean my kid, I can use the fun-shaped bottle to entertain him or her, it’s 99% natural, it’s hypo-allergenic and it would help prevent me from fondling the Method hand soap bottle next to the sink.

Item: Method Kid Squeaky Green Fuzzy Peach 3-in-1 Shampoo
Price: $7.49
Size: 10 ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: A body wash, shampoo and conditioner all in one. Nice tropical scent. 99% natural. Hypo-allergenic. Really cool dispensing mechanism. Kegel exercises.
Cons: Doesn’t smell peachy at first. Kind of pricey. Doesn’t lather up very well. Watery than most body washes and shampoos. My problem with fondling Method bottles.

14 thoughts to “REVIEW: Method Kid Squeaky Green Fuzzy Peach 3-in-1 Shampoo”

  1. Hmmm….this review was just a little bit disturbing. I could see this product being prominently featured in the showers at Neverland, before it was reposessed by the bank. I do love the 3-in-1 concept though…stuff like that makes for a great travel shampoo (or it used to, back when you could care more than 100 ml of it on board the plane.)

  2. Yikes! $7.49… Though if it’s 3-in-1 I suppose it’s not that bad. Hey, Marvo! Is soap-porn SFW? I kept looking over my shoulder worried that my co-workers would think I was some kind of soap perv reading this article…

  3. Nice Rupert Holmes reference, though angry bob never understood why people thought a song about BOTH sides of a marriage trying to cheat on each other was romantic. The line about yogurt/yoga is brilliant, though.

  4. @JamieSusan: I wanted to use groping throughout the review, but I used discretion.

    @Chuck: I so badly wanted to add a Jacko and 3-in-1 reference to this review.

    @Heidi: I went back to Target this weekend and it’s now $6.99. Still a little pricey. I wish it was $5.99. Soap-porn is SFW as long as there aren’t any pictures or visuals of soap being squirted on top of each other.

    @angry bob: What I don’t understand is why people think Jimmy Buffett wrote “Escape.”

  5. I have a tendency to fondle things, so I know how you must feel, still I’ve seen this product for sale as much as 7 bucks, that’s heading into pricey territory, still there’s nothing like a good soap…

  6. I was about to call DCFS because I know how you are with underaged Method bottles, Marvo. But this one is putting you on the right track, so I’ll let it slide.

    I think the price is high because it’s a 3 in 1 (which don’t work the same) and the environmentally safe factor.

  7. @Vik the Viper: But I figure it’s for a little kid so the bottle would probably last longer than if I used it.

    @Ryan: One of these days, I’m going to have a review that uses the word “boobies” twenty times.

    @Brie: Method products are slightly pricer than regular big name products, but I’m willing to pay the extra for the eco-friendly factor…and the sexy, sexy bottles…baseball…baseball…

  8. The bottle design reminds me of ‘Don Pen’, Don Quijote’s annoying penguin mascot. Only annoying because they have it printed and displayed (as a stuffed animal) like EVERYWHERE in that store. Ack!

    The price is a bit steep for baby shampoo. Better bet going with the Johnson & Johnson knock-off stuff for $2 bucks (sometimes cheaper than that).

  9. If I wanted to smell like fresh fruit I would rub my balls with fresh peaches


  10. If the product doesn’t lather up much, that’s probably an indication that it doesn’t contain much detergent, which is listed as “sodium lauryl sulfate” in a lot of body products and helps with lather BECAUSE IT’S DETERGENT.

    I only know about it because the damned stuff makes me itch.

    Having shared my unsolicited information, I must also share that this bottle makes me think of a blowup doll from another planet.

  11. Jimmy Buffet? What people think that? They must be from the place where failure goes.

  12. @Pomai: Now that you mention it, it does look like Don Pen (I didn’t know it was called that). People in Hawaii should call it Daiei Pen in memory of its previous owners.

    @Neil the hammer: Even better, just leave the peaches in your pants and you will appear to have huge balls.

    @Jenny: Yup, no sodium lauryl sulfate, which I also try to stay away from, although I’m not allergic to it. I have other products that don’t have SLS, but they lather much better.

    @angry bob: I don’t know, but if you Google Jimmy Buffet with Pina Colada you’ll get a lot of search results.

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