REVIEW: Orbit Positively Pomegranate Gum

Pomegranate used to be one of those foods that pretentious, health conscious people in intellectual, or gourmet culinary, circles used to brag about at art auctions or fundraising benefits for obscure diseases. Now, it seems that pomegranate is that indie band who sold out by signing with a major label and having their Top 40 single remixed by T-Pain (which was also re-remixed by Kidz Bop).

Everything is coming pomegranate flavored, including ice cream, lip balm, alcoholic beverages, cereals, condoms and personal lubricants. Well, the last two I’m not too sure if they do come in pomegranate, but if I find them in my product expeditions, I will let you know.

I know I’m going to sound like one of those assholes that say they were fans of a band “before they got popular,” but I’ve been enjoying pomegranate since I was a wee little thing. Of course, my mother didn’t call them pomegranates; they were Indian apples (or Southeast Asian apples if you want to be politically correct). They were so beautiful that I would consume each seed individually, because they were like little rubies. I would also run my hands through all of the seeds and pretend I was a billionaire heiress counting her jewels (Hmm…maybe that’s something I should tell my future therapist). But now that pomegranate is the “it” fruit, more people are consuming pomegranate “flavored” items and not tasting the real McCoy.

Orbit Positively Pomegranate does not taste like the real McCoy, because it’s artificially flavored, of course. When has something artificial tasted or felt better than the real thing?

Wait…maybe I won’t go there.

The gum has a strong texture to it, but I find that a lot with Orbit Gum, it’s not hard per se, but if you can’t chew it, it might be time to admit defeat, let go of your pride and buy a pack of Freedent. I can best describe the gum as having a generic fruity gum flavor; it’s tasty, but you can’t really distinguish much of it. As for Positively Pomegranate’s stamina, it needs some help from those little blue pills, topical creams or whatever gum uses to boost up flavor longevity.

It’s really odd, but I found after chewing it for about two hours I developed a sore throat, which has never happened before with gum. It’s still tasty, but is it worth the throat discomfort that lasts longer than the gum’s flavor? Probably not. Of course, this was my personal experience; and like weight loss commercials that air after Taco Bell ads showing burritos in all of their beefy, cheesy glory, individual results may vary.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 piece – 5 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 0 milligrams of sodium, 0 milligrams of potassium, 1 gram of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 0 grams of sugar and 0 grams of protein.)

Item: Orbit Positively Pomegranate Gum
Price: $1.49
Size: 14 pieces
Purchased at: Wawa
Rating: 4 out of 10
Pros: Nice fruity flavor. Good chewing texture. The irony of fast food ads followed by weight loss commercials. Sugar free. Being ahead of the curve and not being an asshole about it.
Cons: Flavor isn’t really pomegranate. Gives sore throats, if chewed on for a long time. Pretentious people who make it clear that they are ahead of the curve. Indie bands who sell out. Kidz Bop albums. That weird Orbit chick in the commercials.

10 thoughts to “REVIEW: Orbit Positively Pomegranate Gum”

  1. I tried these last year. They were once a limited edition flavor, but it seems enough people liked it, so they turned it into a regular flavor. I didn’t care for it either.

    Wow. You chew gum for a long time. Don’t chew Stride or else they’re going to send men in a van to make you spit it out.

  2. I found this at Target for $1..99 a 3-pack. It actually tastes nothing like pomegranate but definitely fruity. I love Orbit but this particular flavor doesn’t stand up well to my chomping. After about 20 minutes I find that I really have chew this to keep it in tact….otherwise it turns to mush.

    *Note* While at target…a mom throws something into basket…her son asks “What’s that?”, the mom answers simply “Raisins.”…the kid responds, “I don’t like raisins, they make me poo!”…the mom turns to be and turns the color of a pomegranate 🙂

    Another funny thing….growing up the ONLY time I ever got to enjoy said fruit was when I went over to my “rich” friends house…they always had them and made everyone else so jealous that they could eat something so wasteful….”wait, this entire thing and you can only eat the little bits around the seed…and you throw everything else away?”

  3. I don’t even know what a real pomegranate tastes like, but do look forward to every Kidz Bop commercial on Cartoon Network.

  4. Yeah I agree on not being one of the better Orbits flavored. Also there is an obession with pomegranate everything. I love vitatops and they even have a dark chocolate pomegrante flavor for their Vitatops and VitaBrownies

  5. I’m glad I’m not the only one that used to play with my pomegranate seeds when I was little. I used to get those all the time when they were in season. I still love them. I’ll pass on the gum, though.

  6. Sore throats? Is it chock full of citric acid? Or maybe sulfuric acid? Or that boric acid that went missing from angry bob’s reactor?

  7. In vietnam we chewed rubber tree sap. SEE I was a sniper a real man and we hunted charlie. Well one day i was given a major for a target I hunted him for 3 weeks about to give up I spotted something in the bush. It was the major he was chewing gum thats how i spotted him a saw his jaw moving
    needless to say he was one dead major. Oh how the years have passed and I find myself an old bitter man with the glor
    y of war behind me. one day at the mall a group of hoods would not let me pass by if only they knew I had found thier kill spots within a few seconds that day. But I played the old frighted man if only they knew. God help me nothing as sad as an OLD MAN or weaker


  8. I actually always get a sore throat now any time I chew any type or brand of gum for more than half an hour or so. Maybe it has to do with the artificial sugars?

    After about half an hour, 5 gum turns goopy. Just thought you would like to know.

  9. @Rachel Yeah! I know what you mean about 5. It gets so bad that you can’t properly spit it out, it almost dissolves. YUCK.

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