REVIEW: Ritz Crackerfuls Cheddar Cheese & Bacon

It’s fitting I found the Ritz Crackerfuls Cheddar Cheese & Bacon in Wisconsin — the land of cheese and meats. If only it came with a beer dipping sauce or made with beer bread batter, then it could be the state’s unofficial cracker snack.

The Cheddar Cheese & Bacon flavor is the latest in the Ritz Crackerfuls line and puts an end to the hoity-toity sounding flavors that preceded it, which include Classic Cheddar, Four Cheese and Garlic Herb.

Like small-breasted porn starlets, the Ritz Crackerfuls Cheddar Cheese & Bacon keeps it real. It has real cheddar cheese made with cultured milk, salt, enzymes and annatto extract color. It also has real bacon in the form of rendered bacon fat and bacon bits that have been cured with water, salt, sugar, sodium phosphates, sodium ascorbate and sodium nitrate.

Mmm…You can totally read the realness.

You know what else this cheese cracker sandwich has? Green tea and rosemary extracts. No fo’ realsies. Although I don’t taste either of them. I’d show you the ingredients list to prove it, but you would quickly get bored by its vastness or due to the number of ingredients that end with -ate, you would suffer PTSD (Periodic Table Studying Disorder) and relive the horrors of memorizing chemical compounds in your high school and college chemistry classes.

The Ritz Crackerfuls Cheddar Cheese & Bacon has a smokiness to it, but I’m not sure if it’s from the cheese, the bacon, both or from one of the ingredients that end with -ate. Well, whatever creates that smoky flavor, it makes this cheese cracker sandwich slightly more enjoyable than the original flavors of Crackerfuls. The bacon bits are large enough to be seen and provide a different kind of crunch than the cracker, so if you’re one of those mouthy-feely eaters you might get a kick from the almost crystalline-like crunch.

Just like the original Crackerfuls, this latest variety is also as fragile as a mofo. It’s a crumb creator, so if you don’t have manners, I’d suggest getting some and pulling out a plate to eat these.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 Crackerful – 130 calories, 7 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 2.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 250 milligrams of sodium, 35 milligrams of potassium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, 2 grams of protein, 6% calcium and 4% iron.)

Item: Ritz Crackerfuls Cheddar Cheese & Bacon
Price: $3.19
Size: 6 pack
Purchased at: Festival Foods (Wisconsin)
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Decent smoky flavor. Real bacon bits. 6 grams of whole grain per serving. Contains polyunsaturated and monounsaturated fats. Having manners. Contains green tea extract. Porn starlets. Wisconsin before the mayflies.
Cons: Crackerfuls are crumb creators. Unsure of how it gets its smokiness. Vast ingredients list. Lots of ingredients that end with -ate. Periodic Table Studying Disorder.

20 thoughts to “REVIEW: Ritz Crackerfuls Cheddar Cheese & Bacon”

  1. These look mighty fancy for Ritz. In fact, they remind me of certain types of fancy cookies from Europe. I’m not sure how that all jives with bacon though. However, I’d buy these if I saw them here. Unfortunately, what we get are Ritz with sweet custard cream paste between them.

  2. Hope you had fun in Wisconsin, my former state of residence. I do miss some of the beers from there. Looking forward to more WI/MN inspired reviews.

  3. I guess when you live in a sweet vacation spot (Hawaii) it only makes sense to go to Wisconsin for vacation to see what the rest of America deals with daily…

    That said, I hope someone in Wisconsin wraps one of these in some extra bacon and cheese and throws it in a fryer after beer battering it. Then it’d truly be the Wisconsin state sandwich cracker.

  4. Don’t forget to put ‘trans fat’ in the “Cons:” section. Under .5 gram per serving, but it’s still in there if the ingredients list says ‘partially hydrogenated’ anything.

  5. It’d be cool if you guys post pictures of the actual food, not just retail pictures.

    Would make the pictures more interesting and helpful 🙂

          1. Actually, I add at LEAST one real, uncensored, completely nude and totally sexy picture of the food I review in each of my posts. So feel free to continue flaming!

    1. Try looking at the other posts. Especially the ones put up by Kelley. Or are you only here for posts about crackers? Racist!

  6. @Orchid64: I think I’d trade the other flavors for the sweet custard cream, but I think the Ritz Crackerfuls line will lean towards sweet flavors.

    @Chuck: Sadly, this is all. I did eat some awesome salami cheddar while there, but I’m not reviewing it. I liked Wisconsin (La Crosse). It was a nice quiet town. But thank goodness I just missed the mayflies. I hear it gets scary when they show up.

    @Lex: I’ve had the garlic and herb ones too and thought they were all right.

    @amanda: Even more impressive? Fake bacon in real food. Okay, maybe not. 🙂

    @Natalie: Actually, my dad went to college in Wisconsin, so that’s the reason why we went. As for the bacon and cheese wrapped, beer battered cracker sandwiches sound awesome. I should try that.

    @ratbuddy: It has partially hydrogenated cottonseed oil AND partially hydrogenated soybean oil.

    @Lisa: Bacon had vitamin C…that’s weird. I guess I should eat more bacon to prevent scurvy. 🙂

    1. Yep, so it has trans fat. I really wish the FDA required it to be listed in milligrams just like cholesterol.

      1. I really wish companies would stop adding any trans fats to their products. If a company like KFC can do it, why can’t all other companies do it.

          1. @ratbuddy: Damn…This disappoints me greatly. If Colonel Sanders was still alive, I’d punch him in the face. But I’d probably get trans fat from that, since his pores would probably ooze trans fat.

  7. how come i can’t buy ritz bacon cheddar crackerfuls downhere at nags head any more.

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