If you truly love your children, you will not make them shave a particular area on your body as one of their chores and you will not buy them Kellogg’s Limited Edition Disney Pixar Cars 2 Cereal.
Even if they beg, whine, cry, threaten to run away, tell you they don’t love you anymore, or refuse to shave that small patch of hair on your back you have trouble reaching, you shouldn’t buy this poor excuse for a sugary kids’ cereal.
I don’t care if the cereal would be perfect in your child’s Disney Pixar Cars 2 bowl on top of their Disney Pixar Cars 2 placemat, which is next to their Disney Pixar Cars 2 backpack that has their Disney Pixar Cars 2 folders and Disney Pixar Cars 2 pencils. If you want your children to experience sugary cereals that they’ll be slightly ashamed of eating when they’re in their 30’s, please don’t try to do it with Kellogg’s Limited Edition Disney Pixar Cars 2 Cereal.
There are so many better sugary kids’ cereals you can give your child, like Cocoa Pebbles, Froot Loops, Apple Jacks, Fruity Pebbles, Smorez, Cocoa Puffs, Honeycomb, Trix, Frosted Flakes, Count Chocula…Oh dear, I think I just got a cavity and gained a pound from typing that list.
So what’s wrong with Kellogg’s Limited Edition Disney Pixar Cars 2 Cereal? It’s as boring and confusing as the description printed on its box, which reads, “Frosted Multigrain Cereal with Red-Circled Fun.” I know the “red-circled fun” they’re talking about is the red-colored cereal, but is that really the best way to describe it? Because the only other red-circled fun I can think of are hickeys, and they’re a lot more fun than red-colored cereal.
The cereal stays crunchy in milk for a decent amount of time, but it tastes kind of like Cheerios, which isn’t a good thing since when it comes to good sugary kids’ cereals, the boring-flavored Cheerios doesn’t come to mind.
I thought with the red-colored cereal it would have a flavor from a red-colored fruit, like cherries, apples, strawberries, watermelon, raspberries, cranberries, pomegranate…Oh dear, I think I just met the new USDA dietary recommendations by typing that list. However, the Red #40-dyed cereal tastes exactly like the Red #40-less tan cereal.
This is disappointing to me, but I think it’s going to be more disappointing for a child. If they’re regular eaters of sugary kids’ cereals, they’re used to the idea that red-colored cereals have a fruity flavor. So when they put this cereal in their mouth, they’re probably not going to like it and say so using whatever new words they learned on the school playground.
Best case scenario: Crap.
Worst case scenario: What the fuck is this shit?
(Nutrition Facts – 3/4 cup (just cereal) – 100 calories, 10 calories from fat, 1 gram of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 200 milligrams of sodium, 50 milligrams of potassium, 23 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 10 grams of sugar, 11 grams of other carbohydrates, 3 grams of protein, and a bunch of vitamins and minerals.)
Item: Kellogg’s Limited Edition Disney Pixar Cars 2 Cereal
Size: 10.9 ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 4 out of 10
Pros: 12 grams of whole grain per serving. Stays crunchy in milk for a decent amount of time. Fortified with vitamins and minerals. If you like Cheerios, it kind of tastes like Cheerios. Giving hickeys.
Cons: It tastes like Cheerios. Red cereal tastes like the tan cereal. Poor excuse for a sugary kids’ cereal. You children learning new vocabulary words on the playground. Won’t satisfy those who like their cereals sweet. Trying to hide hickeys.