Month: January 2012

REVIEW: Mello Yello Zero

Jeff 8 Comments

Mello Yello Zero

Back when I was in college I drank a lot of Fruitopia and Surge. Surge was Coca-Cola’s answer to Mountain Dew. They even aped the extreme sports campaign of Mountain Dew but no matter, I liked Surge and was impartial to the Mountain. In some stupid way I thought drinking Surge was cooler because it was not as popular as Mountain Dew at my university.

Yeah…I was one of those idiots who felt that if things got popular, they were no longer good. Screaming “sell out” while I had an ill-conceived mohawk and noshing on Asian shrimp flavored snacks. God, if I could go back in time I would kick myself in the ghoulies and then wipe the mud off my Cole Haan’s all over my 1995 version’s face.

“Grow the fuck up kid,” I would shout, grabbing myself by his/my ratty Stereolab t-shirt. Then I would drop me back on the ground and kick me 300-style down a pit. Like a cliché, I would raise my arms in victory to the opus of the Maximum Overdrive soundtrack, AC/DC’s “Who Made Who?”

Anyhow, as time went on I discovered martinis and manhattans. Surge eventually went the way of the Sega Dreamcast, pogs and Tamagotchis (which taught a generation to never have kids or pets because the damn thing was so needy). Around this time I noticed a soft drink with the ugliest logo ever called Mello Yello.

I remember that soda when I was a little kid. More importantly, I remembered the original 70’s logo with the cool bubble letters. It reminded me of the neon Doctor Who emblem with Peter Davison. I didn’t know what this strange font was all about but bought a can anyway because I have always wanted to try it. It was too sweet for my taste and I couldn’t get past that wacky lettering. I forgot it and whenever had a rare craving for a citrus soda, I took to Mountain Dew. It was convenient and readily available.

Recently, the House of Coke added Mello Yello to their successful Zero line. If you have tasted the regular Mello Yello but think it is way too sweet you will be in for a pleasant surprise with the Zero edition. I have tried all of the Zero line and personally, I mostly prefer them over the diet versions. First, they taste almost close to the regular versions. Second, the obvious artificial sweetness found in some of the diet ones are muted in the Zero editions.

I really dislike sodas that are amped up in the sweetness department and was concerned about my last encounter with Yello (the soda, not the band). However with the Zero brand, I had to try it and I think my 1995 counterpart would agree as well. The black can is punched up with the retro 70’s logo. “The original smooth” line purred on the can. It sounds more appropriate as a tagline for a Tarantino flick doesn’t it?

Mello Yello Zero Closeup

I love citrus soft drinks so if you do not, Mello Yello Zero won’t change your mind. Granted I can only drink about one of these every so often because too much of it kills me and I’m now a cola guy. The taste is sweet enough for my preference and not so sugary that it leaves a sticky film on your teeth. Wait, let my 1995 version tell you himself.

Jeff: “Drink this and tell them what you think!”

Jeff 1995 Counterpart: “What? I’m drawing a comic book about goth superheroes… AND this stuff is neon yellow-green like a glow stick that all those ravers dance with, what is this bro? It’s weird looking.”

Jeff: “Shut up and drink it or I’ll rip up your damn Sandman comics autographed by Gaiman!”

Jeff 1995 Counterpart: (sniffs the glass) “Okay, okay, smells of faint lemons but dude, this looks like the Toxic Avenger’s urine test, brah.”

Jeff: “Did I really talk like that? Would you freaking drink it already?”

Jeff 1995 Counterpart: (takes a cautious sip) “You can taste some kind of citrus fruit and it isn’t overcome by any sweetness. It’s actually refreshing, and a lemon-lime flavor hits the back of your throat. It’s bereft of any syrupy unpleasant aftertaste.”

Jeff: “Bereft? Who says that???”

Jeff 1995 Counterpart: “I will say that if someone like sodas on the sweeter side, this may be a bit too bland for their taste buds.”

Jeff: “Good point Jeff and it has to be consumed cold immediately because it doesn’t taste great at all as it heads toward room temperature. Now can you turn off that Prodigy CD? Damn you have bad taste in music too!”

Jeff 1995 Counterpart: “Look I drank it, leave me alone yo. This world doesn’t need more suits, what happened to you and your dreams of becoming an artist? Oooh, lookatme I’m too busy looking up laws and shit, I’m so important, lookatme…Big deal bozo!”

Jeff: “SHUT UP…And note in a year, when a woman buys you a New Monkees CD to impress you, she is hinting that she wants to date you. NOT talk about all thirteen episodes of the damned show you idiot!” (Kicks 1995 Jeff in the baklavas)

Jeff 1995 Counterpart: (Wriggles in pain and disappears in a flash back to the land of horrible Ace of Base singles)

So there you have it. If you like Diet Mountain Dew, I recommend you give Mello Yello Zero a pull. The soda doesn’t have a strong artificial sweetness that I find in other diet drinks. I also recommend you stay away from those Ace of Base singles…yeesh.

(Nutrition Facts – 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 50 milligrams of sodium, 0 grams of carbohydrates, and 0 grams of protein.)

Item: Mello Yello Zero
Price: $3.00 for a 12 pack case
Size: 12 ounces
Purchased: Publix
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: It is quite refreshing if cold. Not overly sweet. Time travelling to warn yourself of the upcoming pitfalls. Low in the sodium department. Varied enough to not taste like Diet Mountain Dew. New Monkees.
Cons: It is quite yucky if it starts to reach room temperature. The color will remind you of glow sticks. Time traveling may cause Butterfly effect (the theory, not the stupid film). May be too low in the sweet department for some. May be a miss for fans who like Diet Mountain Dew. Ace of Base.

NEWS: Subway Testing Spicy Wasabi and Creamy Gorgonzola Sauces

Marvo 12 Comments

Happy Wasabi

Whenever you go to Subway, you have a plethora of sauces you can add to your sandwich. I likey the honey mustard or good ol’ light mayonnaise and mustard. But in Minnesota, Subway is now offering a couple more sauces to choose from — gorgonzola and wasabi sauces.

Yup, wasabi, the spicy green paste that comes with your sushi.

The television advertisement below promotes the Subway sandwiches that use the sauces — the Wasabi Steak and Cheese and Gorgonzola Chicken and Bacon Melt.

No information about the two sauces are available on the Subway website. I’m not sure if they’re only available in Minnesota, but if you’ve seen them at your local Subway location, let us know in the comments below. Also, if you tried the Subway wasabi or gorgonzola sauce, let us know what you think of them.

Image via flickr user dmuth / CC BY SA 2.0

NEWS: IHOP Throws A Bunch of Stuff That’s Not Ketchup on Hash Browns

Marvo 1 Comment

IHOP Edmond

Hash browns are my favorite part of breakfast because, as I’ve said before, potato + hot oil = delicious. As much as I love hash browns, I don’t make them at home because I’ve been told I’m dangerous with graters.

Whenever I have hash browns at a fine breakfast establishment, I squirt enough ketchup on it to get a full serving of vegetables and that’s all I need. I thought ketchup was the only thing one could put on top of hash browns, but IHOP’s Hash Brown Stacks have shown me that one can throw almost anything on top of them.

IHOP’s Hash Brown Stacks come in four varieties:

Spinach & Mushroom Hash Brown Stack РHash browns topped with saut̩ed spinach and mushrooms, Provolone cheese, sliced tomato, an over-medium egg, hollandaise sauce and green onions.

Bacon & Cheddar Hash Brown Stack – Hash browns topped with diced bacon, Cheddar cheese, sliced tomato, an over-medium egg, rich hollandaise sauce, green onions, and then more diced bacon.

Ham & Swiss Hash Brown Stack – Hash browns topped with grilled ham, Swiss cheese, sliced tomato, an over-medium egg, hollandaise sauce and green onions.

SIMPLE & FIT Spinach & Mushroom Hash Brown Stack РHash browns topped with saut̩ed spinach and mushrooms, Provolone cheese, sliced tomato, scrambled egg substitute and green onions. To keep things simple and fit, this Hash Brown Stack is served with fresh fruit.

IHOP’s Hash Brown Stacks are available at participating restaurants until February 19 and have a suggested retail price of $5.99. They are served with your choice of fresh fruit or two buttermilk pancakes.

Now go watch the IHOP Hash Brown Stack commercial, say WTF in your head, and then wonder about the quality of advertising nowadays.

NEWS: It’s Quaker Life Crunchtime, Quaker Life Crunchtime, Quaker Life Crunchtime!!!

Marvo 2 Comments

Quaker Logo

Update: Click here to read our Quaker Life Strawberry Crunchtime Multigrain Cereal review

Where he at. Where he at. Where he at. Where he at.

There he go. There he go. There he go. There he go.

Quaker Life Crunch, Quaker Life Crunch, Quaker Life Crunch, Quaker Life Crunch.

Do the Quaker Life Crunch, Quaker Life Crunch, Quaker Life Crunch with milk that’s non-fat.

Do the Quaker Life Crunch, Quaker Life Crunch, Quaker Life Crunch with milk that’s non-fat.

Sorry, I couldn’t help myself. Peanut Butter Jelly Time was the first thing that popped into my head after learning about the new multigrain Quaker Life Crunchtime cereal, which isn’t like your normal square Life cereal. They look like spinning car rims or deformed smiley faces and come in two varieties: Strawberry and Apple Cinnamon. Both flavors don’t contain real fruit, are a good source of several vitamins and minerals, and it’s unknown whether Mikey likes them.

A 3/4 cup serving of Life Crunchtime has 110 calories, 1.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 0.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 90 milligrams of sodium, 27 grams of carbohydrates, 6 grams of fiber, 6-7 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

Source: Cereal Bits Forum and bolio88 Flickr photostream

REVIEW: MiO Energy Liquid Water Enhancer (Black Cherry and Green Thunder)

Marvo 76 Comments

MiO Energy Liquid Water Enhancer (Black Cherry and Green Thunder)

Update: Click here for our regular MiO Liquid Water Enhancer review

The new Black Cherry and Green Thunder MiO Energy Liquid Water Enhancers are kind of like NyQuil. They both have camel case names, both come in a cherry flavor and some weird green flavor, and they both make me grimace when I consume them straight out of their containers.

However, while NyQuil contains antihistamines and alcohol to make one sleepy, MiO Energy contains caffeine and B vitamins to make me hold back Mr. Sandman for a while.

Because of the caffeine they contain, the MiO Energy bottles have a warning that states they’re not for children and should not be added to alcoholic drinks. I also thought they didn’t have any warnings about squirting it straight into your mouth instead of a glass of water, but on the opposite side of the children and alcoholic beverages warning, the bottle says, “Always dilute concentrate.”

Unfortunately, I didn’t read that until after I squirted some Black Cherry and Green Thunder MiO Liquid Water Enhancer down my gullet, so my heart could’ve exploded. Thankfully, it didn’t.

When a 1/2 teaspoon of MiO Energy is squirted into eight ounces of water, the mixture provides 60 milligrams of sweet, sweet caffeine, which is 20 less milligrams than a Red Bull. MiO Energy is also cheaper than a Red Bull. For the price of one bottle of MiO ($4.99 regular price), which can make 18 servings, you can only buy two 10-ounce cans of Red Bull, or if you’re at a bar, half a can of Red Bull.

When mixed with water, both MiO Energy flavors have a slight medicinal flavor, which will probably be off-putting to many drinkers. At first, I didn’t care for the Black Cherry flavor because it kind of reminded me of watered down cough syrup. But it’s grown on me and now I think it tastes more like a cherry Tootsie Pop.

Green Thunder tastes like an energy drink. If you’re someone who likes to try all kinds of energy drinks, it tastes like one of those cheap energy drinks that tries to copy the flavor of Red Bull, except without any carbonation. For those of you who don’t like to try all kinds of energy drinks, it has a pleasant sweet and tart flavor. Although, as I mentioned earlier, it’s also slightly medicinal. I like both flavors, but if I had to pick a favorite, I’d choose Green Thunder, but not by much.

As for its ability as an energy booster, I think it did a pretty good job, providing me with a jolt of energy that lasted a few hours. To be honest, I was surprised by how well it worked since it has less caffeine than I’m used to consuming.

MiO Energy costs the same and comes in the same 1.62-ounce size as regular MiO. However, a bottle of MiO Energy makes only 18 servings, which is 25 percent fewer servings than a bottle of regular MiO.

But who cares about that, besides cost-conscious people? I certainly don’t because MiO Energy has sweet, sweet caffeine, and that’s all that matters to me and my tired ass.

(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 tsp – 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 10 milligrams of sodium, 0 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 10% niacin, 10% vitamin B6, and 10% vitamin B12.)

Item: MiO Energy Liquid Water Enhancer (Black Cherry and Green Thunder)
Price: $3.50 (on sale)
Size: 1.62 ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Black Cherry)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Green Thunder)
Pros: Contains sweet, sweet caffeine. Black Cherry tastes like a cherry Tootsie Pop. Green Thunder taste like an non-carbonated energy drink. Good energy booster. Easy to make.
Cons: Makes less serving than regular MiO. Slightly medicinal flavor might be off-putting. Contains a pitiful amount of B vitamins. Squirting MiO straight into my mouth.