Something tells me Ronald McDonald and his bakers are getting bored. Like a child in trouble, flinging every excuse to see what sticks to the wall, this seems to be McDonald’s course of action in regards to its pies. I would kill for some of their international savory flavors such as tuna. And I love taro puffs when I rock out with dim sum (I’m channeling my inner Guy Fieri)…so a taro pie sounds right up my alley but those are not available in Florida. Until then, I will have to settle for S’mores.
You know that old saying, don’t judge a book by its cover? S’mores Pie is a limited edition re-release from McDonald’s and is a primary example of that very line. The pie is unsettling to look at because the visible chocolate from the open cut in the dough looks like a shiny poopie. It resembles the offspring from one of those delectable black & white cookies and a Pop-Tart.
I’m a sucker for McDonald’s pies and the flavors seem logical enough. Who doesn’t enjoy a S’more? It’s chocolate and toasted marshmallow. I always felt the graham cracker was the star of this campfire snack. With its slight (to me anyhow) hint of salt and cinnamon tones, those graham crackers were one of my earliest introductions to complex tastes.
I remember eating them out of the box watching reruns of Zoobilee Zoo, trying to figure out why I liked these so much and if it was weird I had a crush on that pink kangaroo lady. With McDonald’s offering a pie with a graham cracker crust, that was enough of a pitch for me. As stated before, the appearance was a bit disturbing and instinctively off-putting, so I glanced at it with a cautionary eye and hoped for the best.
However, the aroma emanating from the bag evoked memories of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies from the kitchen oven (or in my case, it reminded me of walking past The Great American Cookie as I entered the mall’s food court because Mom only baked sadness brownies and displaced anger cakes). The pleasant rich scent enveloped me and it only intensified in the car as the windows were up.
The pie was indeed warm which is just as important as the tangible ingredients making up this creation. I pulled into an empty space in the parking lot because I was afraid that I could not fully appreciate what Ronald offered me if it cooled off. I shimmied my blazer off and loosened my stock Van Heusen tie.
Buttery, dense and mercifully not too sweet, the chocolate fell closer to a dark one than a milk-chocolate which was good. I was surprised by the thickness of the marshmallow filling. It was not as light or fluffy as I thought it would be and creamier than I assumed. It was nice and I think there were some vanilla flavors from the marshmallow. It reminded me of scooping out a spoonful of Fluff from the jar. Combined, the chocolate and marshmallow almost had the sweet and savory team-up we all love so much.
Sadly, the appearance was not the only detractor. The graham cracker crust provided another negative point (not as bad as the humiliation tarts my Mom would bake). The dough was a bit too thick for my preference and worst, it was like a boring brown sugar cookie rather than a graham cracker. None of the characteristics unique to a graham cracker were present.
Pies are akin to a good marriage. At the risk of sounding something of a Lifetime Channel movie plot, both people need to cooperate and work to make that relationship successful. The same is with a pie’s filling and crust. They need to be in perfect harmony or it falls apart and unfortunately, the dough did me in. That’s too bad, really.
The pie is worth a one-time try for the delicious synthesis of its dense chocolate and marshmallow insides. As I sheepishly wiped the crumbs off my seat, I just felt the crust was awful enough to bring the entire thing down. The crust didn’t enhance the flavors and, even worse, it made me pine for one of those feelings of inadequacy cookies my Mom would force us to eat.
(Nutritional Facts – 290 calories, 12 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 210 milligrams of sodium, 41 grams of carbohydrates, 19 grams of sugars, 2 grams of dietary fiber, and 3 grams of protein.)
Item: McDonald’s S’mores Pie
Purchased Price: 75 cents
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: The chocolate is rich and dense. The chocolate and marshmallow combined is tasty. Memories of fresh baked goods. A warm pie, what’s not to love? Zoobilee Zoo.
Cons: The crust is thick and sad. Memories of fresh baked goods that originate from the food court in the mall. Not being able to buy a McDonald’s tuna pie here. Ben Vereen in Zoobilee Zoo always appeared annoyed.