REVIEW: Subway Frank’s Red Hot Buffalo Chicken

Subway Frank s Red Hot Buffalo Chicken

To fully understand Subway’s plight, first, think of the worst thing that has been written about you in the press over the past few years. I’ll give it a second… okay, good.

Next, compare that to the sandwich maven. Earlier this month, the Irish Supreme Court ruled that Subway’s bread has too much sugar to be considered bread. A 2017 Canadian Broadcasting Corporation investigation that found its chicken contains less than 50% actual chicken DNA. And then there was that uh, one guy. You know, the one who lost a bunch of weight and then his freedom.

But there is a lot to be said for convenience (think of all the Subways squished into gas stations on desolate stretches of endless American interstates) and the general laziness of people too tired to make their own sandwiches.

And speaking of laziness, allow me to introduce you to the sub-sandwich mega-chain’s newest offering, Frank’s Red Hot Buffalo Chicken sandwich. Subway says, “this sub includes our tender chicken strips and new Buffalo sauce, made exclusively with Frank’s Red Hot sauce, toasted on your favorite bread and topped with fresh lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers and ranch dressing.” For the sake of standardization, I ordered mine exactly as they suggest. The bread on the app defaulted to “Italian,” but I ended up with whatever the plainest, whitest, most unimaginative bread offered is.

Subway Frank s Red Hot Buffalo Chicken Innards 1

If you’ve ever had a Buffalo chicken sandwich from any other purveyor of food, you’ve already had this thing, only better. That said, it wasn’t 100% garbage. First, I’ll tell you what I liked: the bread was big and soft and would have made a very cozy sweater. Again, it didn’t taste like much, but it was pleasant to touch. The veggies were very fresh, which, I’ll admit, surprised me some. The lettuce was crisp and the cucumbers added a nice crunch. The tomatoes were small and inoffensive. If things would have stopped there, this sandwich would have been a 7. (And also, very unfulfilling.)

But they didn’t stop there.

Subway Frank s Red Hot Buffalo Chicken Innards 2

Subway suggests that its “new buffalo sauce” is made with Frank’s Red Hot sauce, but to be honest, it just tasted like they mixed up some of Frank’s Buffalo Sauce with a dash of Frank’s Hot Sauce. Though the goopy result added a nice kick, there wasn’t enough of it to give you a real “buffalo wing” experience. Similarly, the ranch added very little. It was there, but quickly lost its footing around the hot sauce, muting the heat and failing to provide any nuance.

And then, the chicken.

Subway’s bird-meat is unnaturally soft, weirdly slippery, and tastes like what an extraterrestrial might guess chicken tastes like just from looking at a chicken alone. There is almost no flavor to it, and it is unsettling how it almost disintegrates in your mouth. Were it not for the occasional bit of gristle, I might have wondered if I hadn’t been tricked by tofu.

And really, tofu would have been much preferred. This sandwich made me uncomfortable, and that’s generally the last quality I look for when grabbing lunch.

Purchased Price: $8.49
Size: 12-inch
Rating: 3 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (12-inch sub) 710 calories, 24 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 110 milligrams of cholesterol, 2720 milligrams of sodium, 79 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber, 11 grams of sugar, and 47 grams of protein.

13 thoughts to “REVIEW: Subway Frank’s Red Hot Buffalo Chicken”

    1. Haha, fair point. For some reason, I thought their Italian bread was different in some way, but yeah, no, you’re right. This was Italian. (aka, plain, boring, white Italian bread.)

    2. Um, it IS a form of “plain white bread,” yes, and when made from scratch or by a baker, it is glorious.

  1. It’s become super popular to poop on Subway in the last few years, and I can’t figure out exactly why. No one would accused McDonald’s of having the best burger in the world, but it’s fast, cheap, and everywhere. Other fast food chains do it better or more interesting, but may not be around, or nearly as quick and affordable. Same with Subway. I don’t get what’s supposedly so offensive about their bread or meats, and their veggies are generally good, the baking bread always smells good, and unlike many other sub places, until recently they didn’t force you toast all the moisture out of your sandwich. Never said it was high cuisine, but it’s not garbage either, and it is a shade healthier than most of the other fast-food sub places, unless you consider a literal mountain worth of sodium (salt) a healthy thing – because at least Subway has some sandwiches where you don’t eclipse your daily recommended intake there in one small sandwich.

    1. Subway is overpriced low quality garbage food. Go to any local sub shop, Publix, or Wawa and you can get a way better sub. I stopped eating there about 10 years ago when I got horrific food poisoning from a steak and cheese sub.

    2. When I go to McDonalds and order a burger, fries, McNuggets, or anything else, I get exactly what I expect. Plain and simple and cheap.

      When I go to Subway, I have to deal with things like too much lettuce, almost no meat, almost no jalapenos, uneven distribution, etc. And it’s like $7 (excluding tax) just for a decently sized meal. McDonalds is actually one of the better companies when it comes to keeping my expectations in check. You go to a place like Arbys, and all of their advertisements have their meat stack high, but you actually order something and it’s pathetic how much stuff they put inside.

  2. I feel bad for Subway because they’ve let it fly with these horrific franchise locations with zero customer accountability and zero quality accountability. You, the consumer, have to FIND the magical location where they give a shit, otherwise this is what happens. And who can blame us for leaving this chain as loyal fans when they slag this trash around? Half a dozen chains and countless local places give more for less money, AND they don’t act like you’re in the way.

  3. Years ago Subway used to put some love in their subs. I have 3 locations in my area and each one prepares their subs the same way…sloppy! The sweet onion teriyaki chicken has been my go to sub since it was introduced. Initially it was a beautiful ratio of bread – chicken – toppings – dressing. First, IMO the breads (any of them) are not as good as they used to be. I used to walk in the store and smell them baking but not anymore. The chicken is OK but it’s always sitting there pre-prepped in a cardboard French fry dish waiting for a worker to nuke it in the microwave. I think the employees are greatly encouraged to pile on the super cheap vegetables. I looked away for one second and my last two orders were covered in about 1/2 jar of pickles. I couldn’t even taste the sweet onion dressing which is so good people having been trying for years to make copycat recipes. I always get a foot long sub, eat half, and save the other half for later. The abundance of pickles just ruins the sub and bread and the last time I just pitched the leftovers because they were soggy from pickle juice. My husband has had similar issues with banana peppers being addedone in abundance at numerous locations. It’s not just one location that does this it’s all locations. Years ago there was always a supervisor staffed with an employee. Now when I go just one person is working and there seems to be zero quality control and/or care. Its a thankless job but I’d appreciate a little more care.

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