QUICK REVIEW: Sonic Fritos Chili Cheese Jr. Burger

Sonic Fritos Chili Cheese Jr Burger

What is the Sonic Fritos Chili Cheese Jr. Burger?

Surely you’ve had a Sonic Jr. Burger at least once in your life, right? The Fritos Chili Cheese variation is precisely how it sounds: a small Sonic burger topped (or bottomed, I guess) with crunchy Fritos and mild chili, delicately ladled in a most un-Texas-like fashion for a moderately tasty burger.

How is it?

Growing up in the Lone Star State, just about every ballgame, birthday, and baptism had the opportunity to down a Frito pie or two. So it’s one of the rare things on this Earth that, sadly, I know all too intimately. And while yes, this is Sonic’s attempt to mimic it and call it its own, it isn’t quite there yet, at least when it comes to the whole burger thing.

Sonic Jr. burgers are always a delicious pick me up for just a couple of bites, and the Fritos and chili certainly don’t take anything away. But once you get a good look at how chintzy they are with the cheap chili con Fritos, you might ask why Sonic even bothered.

Sonic Fritos Chili Cheese Jr Burger 2

Lightly dripped on the bottom bun with a small handful of Fritos, you’d do better to just order at Sonic Jr. Burger and go across the street to the convenience store and add a quarter bag of Fritos and some free cheese from the dispenser.

Is there anything else you need to know?

Even though the Sonic Fritos Chili Cheese Jr. Burger is a slightly delicious dud, the chain is also offering, for 99 cents each, a small Fritos Chili Pie and a Fritos Chili Cheese Jr. Wrap. While they look a bit more suitable for the Frito/chili/cheese product, due to their low price point, it’s probably more than likely they’ll have about as much junk (or lack thereof) as the burger.

Conclusion:

Sonic Fritos Chili Cheese Jr Burger 3

For a $1.99, it’s mostly alright for the sparseness that you get. Sure, it’s something they’d kick you out of Texas for if the good ol’ boys in Austin ever find out, but until something with more Fritos and even more chili comes along, I guess it’ll have to do, partner.

Purchased Price: $1.99
Size: N/A
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: Not available at press time.

REVIEW: Arby’s Arbynator

Arby's Arbynator

If there’s one thing I’ve always said loudly and proudly, when it comes to fast food roast beef, Arby’s Sandwiches are the best in the business. And the horsey-drenched souls there have unleashed the massive monster that is the Arbynator.

Composed of everything in a typical Arby’s combo meal – roast beef sandwich, curly fries, and cheddar cheese sauce – along with just about every sauce available over the counter including Arby’s sauce and Horsey sauce, this mammoth pile of meat is a two-handed mankiller sent from the bleak future to our bleaker present to destroy our collective hungers, if only for one solitary day. No fate.

Available in three aggrandizing sizes – the Classic, the Double, and the Lord-have-mercy Half-Pound – I stuck with the relatively responsible Classic variation for this outing.

Arby's Arbynator 2

Even though the sesame seed bun was mostly flattened, it pretty much did look like the promotional picture, with the scads of roast beef lazily flopping out as the hot cheese dripped down its side, mixing deliciously with the other assorted sauces. The fries, however, were tucked away like a surprise.

Just as immodestly thick as the pile of roast beef is, when you hit the curly fries, the sheer amount of them on the Arbynator seem a little bigger than a handful. The twirling tubers are a welcomed treat to crunch into as you began your dank voyage into this dangerous sandwich. The fries and roast beef are a delightful combination that kids have been doing for years much to their mother’s chagrin. The mixture of tart sauces pays off nicely with lip-puckering goodness.

Arby's Arbynator 3

If the sandwich has any flaw, it’s probably that it has far too much meat for one sitting, even in its Classic portion. There’s no way an Average Joe will down the Arbynator during his lunch hour, head back to the office, and not put his head down for a long winter’s nap. It’s too darn much.

Layer after layer of roast beef and stack after stack of curly fries and glug after glug of cheese sauce might sound like a great thing on paper, but when it’s right in front of you, daring you to devour it, this is where the decisions that follow us around for the rest of our lives are made.

So, I guess if I’m saying anything, have half for lunch and eat the other half on your way home from work. Unless, of course, your job is “professional napper” in which case, have two on me. Cómpralo ya!

Purchased Price: $4.99
Size: Classic
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 560 calories, 25 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 1630 milligrams of sodium, 58 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of fiber, 7 grams of sugar, and 25 grams of protein.

QUICK REVIEW: Mtn Dew Merry Mash-Up

Mtn Dew Merry Mash up 2

What is Mtn Dew Merry Mash-Up?

Replacing the famed Mtn Dew Holiday Brew from holidays long past, the new limited edition Mtn Dew Merry Mash-Up, with its seasonal cranberry-pomegranate flavor, has arrived on store shelves with such a clatter, that I had to spring from my bed to see what was the matter.

How is it?

I have always wondered what Christmas would taste like if you could capture its essence in a much-loved soda pop, and the Merry Mash-Up does, I believe, come pretty close. Imagine, if you will, the sweet blood of Rudolph captured in a bright red 20-ounce bottle for all the children to share; the tangy pomegranate mixes spectacularly well with the tart cranberry, making a drink-mix that finally needs no alcohol to dull its senses.

Even at 290 calories a bottle, I would absolutely add this high-fructose concoction to my Christmas list and check it twice, but, sadly it’s another one of their limited edition flavor collaborations. So, in the fever of the holidays, load up on a few decorative bottles and serve the spirited beverage as your own homemade holiday punch this year. It’ll be our secret.

Mtn Dew Merry Mash-Up

Is there anything else I need to know?

I don’t know why they called it “Merry Mash-Up” when the far superior “Merry X-Mash,” coined by me just now, was available. Call me next year, Dew-makers, and we’ll come up with something equally clever together.

Conclusion:

This crisp step-brother to the Mtn Dew family fully enraptures me. The best one of their raucous limited releases of 2018, this is not the extreme version of the Dew were hyper-used to by now, but, instead, a party-hearty ready blend of joyous holiday flavors, spreading merriment to all who wake up to this in their stocking. Dew bless us, everyone!

Purchased Price: $1.59
Size: 20 oz. bottle
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (20 oz.) 290 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 105 milligrams of sodium, 77 grams of carbohydrates, 77 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein..

REVIEW: KFC Chicken & Waffles

KFC Chicken  Waffles

As I wiped the sticky syrup from my fingers using the convenient wet towelette included with my meal, I have to admit I cracked a deeply disturbing yet wholly satisfied smile. Chicken and waffles seem like such a decades-old bandwagon to jump on. The fact that KFC was actually able to create a seasonal masterwork like this has to be a minor holiday miracle, right?

Having sampled this famed coupling all the way from small local diners to the grandfather of them all, Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles in L.A., no two recipes are ever the same, with KFC falling completely in line.

KFC Chicken  Waffles 2

Combining two of the Original Recipe varieties of chicken — a drumstick and thigh, if you will — with a very thick and very heavy mini-waffle, KFC has shined its populous light on a rare dining treat that many people are curious about but might not ever a chance to otherwise enjoy.

Of course, we know that KFC’s chicken is usually tops in this mother-clucking business, so we’ll skip all that for now. The real surprise, the real focus here, has got to be the beautifully vanilla-sweet waffle, a delectable pill that tastes more like a pressed piece of sheet-cake than the archetypical breakfast side. All that’s missing is a heavy dollop of whipped cream.

KFC Chicken  Waffles 3

After tearing open my single-serve cup of Mrs. Butterworth’s, I coated back and forth the good-looking eats laid out before me. The runny guzzle of the much-loved pancake topping puddled at the bottom of the black container, letting the chicken and waffles soak in its sugars for a few mouth-teasing minutes.

The thick syrup made the dense waffle into something like a dunked doughnut, soft but sticky and ready to get your fingers dirty. And while that is expected when it comes to waffles, I wasn’t prepared for how the same chemical reaction — both mentally and physically — would work with the Original Recipe chicken. Who could or would have ever guessed just how much the toothsome syrup made a perfect marriage partner with the highly trademarked chicken.

While I ordered the two pieces with one waffle, there was a part of me that wished I had also ordered the delectable looking Hot Honey Chicken Tender Sandwich that uses the brave little waffles as a top and bottom. To Hell with you, Double Down! Leaving the KFC, maybe next time I thought, maybe next time. Cómpralo ya!

Purchased Price: $5.49
Size: 2 pieces with 1 waffle
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: Unavailable at time of publication.

QUICK REVIEW: Wendy’s S’Awesome Bacon Classic

Wendy's S'Awesome Bacon Classic

What is Wendy’s S’Awesome Bacon Classic?

I guess I’m out of the Wendy’s loop because I wasn’t even aware of its S’Awesome sauce that was introduced a year or so ago. Either way, the chain has slathered it on one of its classic burgers, thrown on some bacon slices, and released it to the public as the S’Awesome Bacon Classic.

How is it?

Wendy's S'Awesome Bacon Classic 2

Eager to try what the advertising calls a “sweet, smoky, tangy sauce” on my single-size burger, I couldn’t really taste it over the heavy saltiness of the bacon. I peeked under the bun and saw a very thin, practically non-existent spread of S’Awesome across the bread. At this point, to me, it tasted like a bacon burger that cost a bit too much at $5.19.

However, I got brave and went to the counter and requested a small cup of S’Awesome sauce which they generous acquiesced to. I used it as a dipping sauce for my burger, which made all the difference in the world. A little dab won’t do. You need a deluge of sauce to get the full power of S’Awesome, which I’m all for.

Is there anything else I need to know?

In addition to the single variety that I purchased, there’s also a double and triple if you need that much Wendy’s meat in your life. There’s also the calorically dangerous S’Awesome Bacon Fries, covered in chunky bacon and S’Awesome sauce. (I’d love to see the S’Awesome sauce as a goopy baked potato topping. That would be truly S’Awesome.)

Conclusion:

Wendy's S'Awesome Bacon Classic 3

What I’m slowly learning is that, when it comes to these sauce-heavy sandwiches, it’s completely up to the sandwich-maker how much they’re going to put on it. In this case, surprisingly any. But, by requesting a cup of S’Awesome sauce and remedying a small manufacturing error, it made Wendy’s S’Awesome Bacon Classic a tasty little burger. However, next time I might get a free cup of S’Awesome sauce and Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger and call it a day.

Purchased Price: $5.19
Size: Single
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 640 calories, 40 grams of fat, 15 grams of saturated fat, 115 milligrams of cholesterol, 1390 milligrams of sodium, 40 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 8 grams of sugar, and 34 grams of protein.