Author: Marvo

NEWS: If Winnie the Pooh Was A Bad Ass, He’d Fight Chester Cheetah for His New Honey BBQ Cheetos

Marvo 3 Comments

The new Honey BBQ Cheetos Puffs surprised me because it seemed like a weird flavor for Cheetos to produce. Every variety I can think of has been cheese-based or based on a food that has lots of cheese, like pizza.

Honey BBQ Cheetos still has cheese flavoring, but it’s not the main flavor. I guess Cheetos is running out of cheesy varieties, although Garfield and I have been waiting for lasagna-flavored Cheetos.

I learned about the new variety of Cheetos after read a review of them over at That Bootleg Guy. After doing a quick Google search, it appears Honey BBQ Cheetos has been available since May.

A one ounce serving has 150 calories, 90 calories from fat, 10 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 220 milligrams of sodium, 14 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 1 gram of protein. It’s gluten-free and contains no MSG.

Source: That Bootleg Guy

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Limited Edition Disney Pixar Cars 2 Cereal

Marvo 7 Comments

Kellogg's Limited Edition Cars 2 Cereal

If you truly love your children, you will not make them shave a particular area on your body as one of their chores and you will not buy them Kellogg’s Limited Edition Disney Pixar Cars 2 Cereal.

Even if they beg, whine, cry, threaten to run away, tell you they don’t love you anymore, or refuse to shave that small patch of hair on your back you have trouble reaching, you shouldn’t buy this poor excuse for a sugary kids’ cereal.

I don’t care if the cereal would be perfect in your child’s Disney Pixar Cars 2 bowl on top of their Disney Pixar Cars 2 placemat, which is next to their Disney Pixar Cars 2 backpack that has their Disney Pixar Cars 2 folders and Disney Pixar Cars 2 pencils. If you want your children to experience sugary cereals that they’ll be slightly ashamed of eating when they’re in their 30’s, please don’t try to do it with Kellogg’s Limited Edition Disney Pixar Cars 2 Cereal.

There are so many better sugary kids’ cereals you can give your child, like Cocoa Pebbles, Froot Loops, Apple Jacks, Fruity Pebbles, Smorez, Cocoa Puffs, Honeycomb, Trix, Frosted Flakes, Count Chocula…Oh dear, I think I just got a cavity and gained a pound from typing that list.

So what’s wrong with Kellogg’s Limited Edition Disney Pixar Cars 2 Cereal? It’s as boring and confusing as the description printed on its box, which reads, “Frosted Multigrain Cereal with Red-Circled Fun.” I know the “red-circled fun” they’re talking about is the red-colored cereal, but is that really the best way to describe it? Because the only other red-circled fun I can think of are hickeys, and they’re a lot more fun than red-colored cereal.

Kellogg's Limited Edition Cars 2 Cereal in Bowl

The cereal stays crunchy in milk for a decent amount of time, but it tastes kind of like Cheerios, which isn’t a good thing since when it comes to good sugary kids’ cereals, the boring-flavored Cheerios doesn’t come to mind.

I thought with the red-colored cereal it would have a flavor from a red-colored fruit, like cherries, apples, strawberries, watermelon, raspberries, cranberries, pomegranate…Oh dear, I think I just met the new USDA dietary recommendations by typing that list. However, the Red #40-dyed cereal tastes exactly like the Red #40-less tan cereal.

This is disappointing to me, but I think it’s going to be more disappointing for a child. If they’re regular eaters of sugary kids’ cereals, they’re used to the idea that red-colored cereals have a fruity flavor. So when they put this cereal in their mouth, they’re probably not going to like it and say so using whatever new words they learned on the school playground.

Best case scenario: Crap.

Worst case scenario: What the fuck is this shit?

(Nutrition Facts – 3/4 cup (just cereal) – 100 calories, 10 calories from fat, 1 gram of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 200 milligrams of sodium, 50 milligrams of potassium, 23 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 10 grams of sugar, 11 grams of other carbohydrates, 3 grams of protein, and a bunch of vitamins and minerals.)

Item: Kellogg’s Limited Edition Disney Pixar Cars 2 Cereal
Price: $3.29
Size: 10.9 ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 4 out of 10
Pros: 12 grams of whole grain per serving. Stays crunchy in milk for a decent amount of time. Fortified with vitamins and minerals. If you like Cheerios, it kind of tastes like Cheerios. Giving hickeys.
Cons: It tastes like Cheerios. Red cereal tastes like the tan cereal. Poor excuse for a sugary kids’ cereal. You children learning new vocabulary words on the playground. Won’t satisfy those who like their cereals sweet. Trying to hide hickeys.

NEWS: Wrigley’s 5 Swerve And Extra Dessert Delights Apple Pie Will Keep Your Jaw Busy This Fall

Marvo 15 Comments

Update: Click here to read our Extra Dessert Delights Apple Pie Gum review

Update 2: Click here to read our Wrigley’s 5 Swerve review

Sometimes I wonder if Wrigley’s 5 Gum should change its name to I Thought I Told You That We Won’t Stop because the chewing gum line, which is marketed to teens, keeps expanding like my waistline has over the past seven years The Impulsive Buy has been around.

If you don’t know the 5 Gum flavors, let me fill your grey matter with a useless list that may write over some of your precious childhood memories: Cobalt, Flare, Rain, Elixir, Lush, Solstice, Zing, React Fruit, React Mint, Prism, Vortex, React 2 Fruit, and React 2 Mint. Oh wait, let me write over your memory of your first kiss with the next 5 Gum flavor, a tropical one called Swerve.

When Swerve becomes available later this year, it will be the second tropical flavor in the 5 Gum line, following Lush.

Also later this year, Wrigley will be adding Apple Pie to its portfolio of Extra Dessert Delights sugarfree gum. The flavor follows Strawberry Shortcake, Mint Chocolate Chip, Key Lime Pie, and Orange Creme Pop.

Come on, Wrigley! Stop ruining desserts for me! If I want to eat poor representations of desserts I’ll go to McDonald’s or make the desserts myself.

Both sugarfree gum flavors will come in the usual 15-piece slim pack.

REVIEW: McDonald’s “New” Chicken McNuggets Sauces (Creamy Ranch, Honey Mustard, Spicy Buffalo, and Sweet Chili)

Marvo 23 Comments

"New" Chicken McNuggets Sauces (Creamy Ranch, Honey Mustard, Spicy Buffalo, and Sweet Chili)

McDonald’s didn’t put much effort into creating their “new” Chicken McNugget sauces, because they’re mostly the same dipping sauces from their Chicken Selects Premium Breast Strips line. Since they’re not putting much effort into their sauces, I’m not going to put much effort into this review of their sauces.

How much work am I going to put into reviewing these sauces? Significantly less than what I put into playing this McNuggets dipping sauce memory game that McDonald’s is using to promote the sauces on their website.

By the way, my high score was 712 points.

For starters, to show how little effort I’m going to put into this review, I’m just going to list all the “new” flavors, but not take the time to put them in alphabetical order: Spicy Buffalo, Honey Mustard, Sweet Chili, and Creamy Ranch. Then, I’m just going to link to my Sweet Chili sauce review from last year and then not mention Sweet Chili anymore.

I’m also going to link to my my Chicken Selects review from 2004 which included my thoughts on the Spicy Buffalo sauce. Although, the sauce might’ve changed over the years, so I will say the “new” Spicy Buffalo sauce was tasty, spicy, and orange. It tasted like other buffalo sauces I’ve had, but it had a bit more kick than my beloved Hot Mustard Sauce and it was definitely my favorite of the four “new” flavors.

Geez, that was more effort than I wanted to exert for the Spicy Buffalo Sauce. I’ll do better with the last two sauces.

"New" Chicken McNuggets Sauces Upskirt (Creamy Ranch, Honey Mustard, Spicy Buffalo, and Sweet Chili)

Honey Mustard tasted like a sweet weak dijon mustard and Creamy Ranch tasted like the salad dressing you’d find in the middle of a barely-touched vegetable platter at a barbeque.

How’s that for little effort?

Overall, McDonald’s “new” Chicken McNuggets Sauces range from decent to good, but none of them can compete with my beloved Hot Mustard Sauce. Besides that, it’s hard to get excited about sauces that we could’ve dipped our McNuggets into for years if we either asked nicely, paid 10 to 20 cents, or flirted with the right cashier for the McDonald’s Chicken Selects sauces.

(Nutrition Facts – Not available at McDonald’s website or I didn’t want to put any effort into finding out what they are.)

Item: McDonald’s “New” Chicken McNuggets Sauces (Creamy Ranch, Honey Mustard, Spicy Buffalo, and Sweet Chili)
Price: 2 Free With 10 Pc. McNuggets, 30 Cents For Each Extra
Size: 1 ounce
Purchased at: McDonald’s
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Creamy Ranch)
Rating: 5 out of 10 (Honey Mustard)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Spicy Buffalo)
Rating: 4 out of 10 (Sweet Chili)
Pros: More sauces for you to choose from. Spicy Buffalo had good flavor and a decent kick. Hot Mustard Sauce. Flirting with McDonald’s employees to get Chicken Selects sauces.
Cons: McDonald’s didn’t put much effort into the “new” sauces. Sweet Chili sauce is still mediocre. Honey Mustard tasted like a sweet weak dijon mustard. McDonald’s calling these sauces “new.” Not putting much effort into this review.

NEWS: Cocoa Puffs Brownie Crunch Cereal Might Make Me Go Cuckoo For It

Marvo 9 Comments

Update: Click here to read our Cocoa Puffs Brownie Crunch review

I’ve gone cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, but after going cuckoo too many times, I just don’t get a rise from eating a bowl of it. Not even the chocolatey milk the cereal leaves behind or crushing the cereal into a fine powder and snorting it using a rolled up 75 cents off Cocoa Puffs coupon gets me to go cuckoo.

However, it looks like I might be riding the cocoa cobra again because General Mills has introduced a new Cocoa Puffs variety — Brownie Crunch Cocoa Puffs. The cereal doesn’t have any puffs, instead it’s made up of naturally and artificially flavored sweetened chocolatey squares.

A 3/4 cup serving has 110 calories, 1.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 130 milligrams of sodium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 9 grams of sugar, 2 grams of protein, and a bunch of vitamins and minerals.