They say if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

But I’m quite sure the person who came up with that saying never saw the meat in a Jack in the Box taco. It’s the only taco meat in the known universe that makes school cafeteria and Taco Bell taco meat look damn good. When I asked on Twitter for ways to describe Jack’s taco meat, I received these responses: cat food, potted, jacked, slop, and already chewed for you.

But despite the meat looking like the droppings of an animal that ate something that its stomach didn’t agree with, they make Jack in the Box’s tacos oddly satisfying. Yes, I’m writing this sober.

The latest taco from Jack in the Box is their Southwest Monster Taco. It’s stuffed with their finely ground beef, shredded cheddar cheese, black beans, roasted corn, grilled onions, and a creamy Southwest Sauce.

If you love black beans and corn as much as Winnie the Pooh loves honey and your eight year old niece still loves Frozen even though the damn movie came out almost a year ago, you’ll like what the Southwest Monster Taco offers. There’s a good serving of both ingredients, although only the corn seems to have any flavor, providing a little sweetness. I thought the black beans would, at least, significantly up the fiber content of the taco, but they only added a gram more of fiber over a regular Monster Taco.

Despite having large grilled onion pieces in my taco, which didn’t appear to be grilled, they didn’t have as much breath-ruining flavor as I hoped. But along with the corn, they give the taco a different crunchy texture than the taco shell. As for the Southwest Sauce, it has a mild smoky flavor that complement the ground beef and it has a barely noticeable level of heat.

The Jack in the Box Southwest Monster Taco’s flavor doesn’t pop as much as the Nacho and Original Monster Tacos, but I think it’s still a decent addition to the Monster Taco lineup and I would probably buy it again…sober, drunk, or high.

(Nutrition Facts – 353 calories, 213 calories from fat, 24 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 32 milligrams of cholesterol, 483 milligrams of sodium, 269 milligrams of potassium, 25 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 12 grams of protein.)

Item: Jack in the Box Southwest Monster Taco
Purchased Price: $1.99*
Size: N/A
Purchased at: Jack in the Box
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Lots of corn and black beans. Sweet corn. Southwest Sauce a decent smoky flavor. Love the flavor of the taco shell…well, the parts that aren’t grease soaked.
Cons: Wish the sauce was a bit spicier. Black beans don’t up the fiber content and don’t have much flavor. Grilled onions lacked flavor. Useless shredded cheddar cheese. Ground beef is still not very pretty to look at.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.