Rare Saturday Post!!!

As you can see we’ve made a few minor changes around here at the Impulsive Buy. We’ve changed the main color of the site from blue to orange, because of the upcoming Halloween holiday.

What? You don’t see the orange?

Well clear your browser’s cache and everything should be all right.

We’ve also added a link on the right that shows ALL of our previous reviews. The cool thing about it is that you can sort it according to date, category, or title. Have fun with it and take a look at our past reviews and see why we will never be the next Consumer Reports.

Today, we also pulled the winners of the first ever Impulsive Buy prize drawing. There were only nine eligible entries, because some people can’t follow simple instructions.

The six winners have been emailed. So if you haven’t received an email from us, you’re a LOSER!!!

LOSER…Until possibly the next prize drawing.

Have a nice weekend.

Wet Ones Kids Antibacterial Wipes

Wet Ones Kids

It’s not often that we get asked to review something, but regular Impulsive Buy reader Sam asked if we could review a medicated hand wash that can be used at Sam’s fly training stable.

Yeah, you read right. Fly training stable.

Well we just happened to have picked up a product at the superstore behemoth that could come in really handy for Sam, Wet Ones Kids Antibacterial Wipes.

To be honest, we actually picked up this product so that the Impulsive Buy could bring in readers from the apparently HUGE mom blog demographic.

The Wet Ones Kids are like the medicated wipes you get when you eat at KFC, except without the medicated smell.

The 24 individually wrapped wipes came in two fun scents: wild watermelon and ballistic berry. Both scents reminded us of watermelon and grape Bubblicious bubble gum. As a matter of fact, they smelled so good that after wiping my hands with them, I soon realized that this is the first product ever that made me consider self-cannibalism. Or at least made me want to chew myself.

These antibacterial wipes are a convenient way for people to clean their hands and faces whenever soap and water are not around and they’re a great way to clean the toilet seats in public restrooms, because there are going to be times when sanitary toilet seat covers and three layers of toilet paper just isn’t enough.

One of the great things about this product was that the scent lasts for hours. I liked the smell so much that I found myself occasionally smelling my hands, which eventually led me to cupping my hands over my mouth and nose, smelling them until the scent faded. When it did fade, I opened another Wet Ones. Then another. Then another. Then another. Then another. Then another. Then another.

After an intervention with the others at the Impulsive Buy, the Wet Ones Kids were taken away from me.

Besides them being taken away from me, another thing I didn’t like about the Wet Ones Kids was the sticky feeling I got when I used one. Eventually it goes away once it dries, but when it’s sticky you don’t feel like touching anything.

Out of the 24 individually wrapped wipes, there’s only 8 left after my so-called “episode.”

So it looks like the Impulsive Buy will have another prize drawing coming up.

Unless I get my hands on them first.

Item: Wet Ones Kids Antibacterial Wipes
Purchase Price: $3.99
Rating: 4 out of 5
Pros: Smells good enough to eat or chew. Makes a great prize for a future drawing. Great for all those blogging moms.
Cons: Smells good enough to eat or chew. Leaves a temporary sticky feeling.

Suave Aroma Benefits Citrus & Ginseng Moisturizing Body Wash

Citrus & Ginseng Body Wash

We at the Impulsive Buy recently noticed that a majority of the reviews have been about food and beverages.

Okay. To tell you the truth, WE actually didn’t notice this.

We read it in a nice review about the Impulsive Buy at the Weblog Review. In the same review, we also learnt that our grammar isn’t the bestest, but who’s is.

So for the next few reviews, we’ve decided to take a break from food and beverages. Unfortunately, the next seven reviews we had planned to do were ALL food and beverage reviews like, The Incredibles cereal, Campbell’s Chunky Chili, and Mountain Dew Livewire.

Since we pushed those reviews back, we were forced to scramble to find items to review. However, this gave us a good reason to visit the new megastore behemoth that just opened up and face the large crowds that came with that behemoth.

That visit, though, gave us some good things at “Everyday Low Prices” to review.

However, today’s review was something I found in my shower. Today I’m going to take a look at Suave Aroma Benefits Citrus & Ginseng Moisturizing Body Wash.

Now you may be thinking that this body wash sounds kind of girly and it may not be something I would’ve used after what happened with the Mixed Berry 7-Up Plus the other day. However, the women say they like the way I smell when using these body washes. So I’m going to give the women what they want, except from what I’ve learned, a willingness to open up emotionally and foreplay.

We all know what citrus is, but what exactly is ginseng?

I decided to look it up in the most used reference around. That’s right folks, Google.

Ginseng is a dried root that is believed to improve energy and vitality. There are studies that show it can also help with normalizing glucose levels, stimulate immune functions, and treat male impotence. Not only can you ingest it in pill form, it is also found in consumer products like energy drinks.

Since this product is a body wash, I don’t know how I’m supposed to reap the benefits of the ginseng without ingesting it. I would try to taste the body wash, but that would definitely bring back the bad memories I had with my fifth grade teacher and my use of certain four-letter words in class.

So is the ginseng absorbed through my pores? Or maybe the “Aroma Benefits” part of the name has something to do with it? But how can it do any good when I really don’t like the aroma of it?

At least, I can keep clean.

The bottom line: Ginseng is good for energy drinks and erections, but not so good for moisturizing body washes.

Item: Suave Aroma Benefits Citrus & Ginseng Moisturizing Body Wash
Purchase Price: $1.99 (on sale)
Rating: 2 out of 5
Pros: Gets me clean. Ginseng. Cheap.
Cons: I don’t feel like I got any benefits from the aroma. Weird aroma.

Rockstar Energy Drink

Rockstar Energy Drink

“Party like a rockstar,” is the slogan of the Rockstar Energy Drink and that’s exactly what I tried to do last night at the 50th review party.

Prior to the party, I watched the Guns N’ Roses and Def Leppard VH1 Behind the Music specials. I did this so I could find out how rock stars party. Unfortunately, the Impulsive Buy doesn’t have access to cocaine, large amounts of alcohol, groupies, or big hair.

Nonetheless, we had one crazy 50th review party last night.

Between you and me, it was so crazy that I’m glad no one took pictures. I don’t want scandalous pictures floating around, just in case I plan to run for public office.

I’m also glad we found a use for that pole in the middle of The Impulsive Buy laboratory. Okay it wasn’t US who found a good use, it was a busty Asian girl that my friend hired named Candy. Let me tell you, she was very flexible.

It was a long night and I’m glad I tanked that Rockstar Energy Drink, or else I wouldn’t have made it through the evening and I wouldn’t have had enough energy to write this review.

Okay. Okay. None of that happened. There was no party. There was no alcohol. There was no busty Asian girl named Candy. I just wanted to make it seem like the life of a quasi-review blog editor was exciting, like the editors of other blogs (Like this one and this one).

Instead my night was spent watching The Daily Show on Comedy Central and MXC on Spike TV. Then I wrote this review and went to sleep.

Although, I really did drink a Rockstar Energy Drink and I have to say, all of these energy drinks pretty much have the same sweet and tart taste. I guess they come so close because they’ve got almost the same stuff: Taurine, guarana, inositol, and other things that I have trouble pronouncing.

Another thing that bothered me about Rockstar Energy Drink is that there’s something communist-looking about the can. It looks like a Russian graphic designer designed it during the Cold War.

Maybe it’s just me.

Or maybe it’s not just me. On the side of the can, there’s an American flag with the words “American Made” under it. If the can wasn’t communist-looking, would it have that American flag? I don’t think so.

Item: Rockstar Energy Drink
Purchase Price: $2.00 (on sale)
Rating: 3 out of 5
Pros: Lots of caffeine (75 milligrams). Big ass 16 ounce can. American made. USA! USA! USA!
Cons: Tastes much like other energy drinks. Communist-looking can. No busty Asian girl named Candy.

Lipton Green Tea with Honey Ice Tea

Lipton Green Tea

Today we celebrate a milestone here at The Impulsive Buy.

It’s our 50th review!!!

Holy crap! Fifty reviews!

We’re just as surprised as you are. None of us thought we would even reach five reviews. We thought we would get bored like we always do, like we did with the illegal iPod pyramid scheme and the O-Town Fan Club.

So to celebrate the fact that we didn’t get bored, we…

What? The review?

Awww, come on. Do I have to do one?

Can I do a review where I devote very little time about the product and spend a lot of time talking about something else?

We do that already?

Okay, here goes the mandatory review.

Lipton Green Tea with Honey Ice Tea. 99 cents. On sale. Weak taste. Needs more sugar. Low calorie. Comes in glass bottle. Do not drop bottle, it might shatter. Yadda, yadda, yadda.

So where was I?

Oh yeah. To celebrate the fact that we didn’t get bored, we will be having our first ever drawing.

What are we giving away?

We’re giving away Oral-B Brush-Ups, which we reviewed a while back. We’ve got six of them left, so six “lucky” winners will each receive one (1) Oral-B Brush-Up.

Yeah, we know…We’re cheap bastards.

We were thinking about giving away Gmail invitations, like other blogs do, but we don’t have any. Actually, none of us here have even received an invitation. We think we’re going to be the last people in the blogging world to get one, which we don’t mind because we’re used to being the last for everything, like being picked for dodge ball and seeing the movie Titanic, which some of us still haven’t seen.

Added at 11:00 am – Okay enough with the rubbing it in. We know. Everyone has Gmail invitations, except us. By the way, thanks to those who sent some our way.

To enter the drawing, just leave a comment for THIS review. Leave a comment that praises. Leave a comment that says how much we suck. Leave a comment about how much you love the McDonald’s Chicken Selects buffalo sauce. Just don’t forget to fill out the email field, because if you win, we will be emailing you to get your mailing address. Don’t worry about the shipping, we will take care of that, no matter where you are.

We will start accepting entries for the drawing on October 19, 2004. We will stop accepting entries on October 21, 2004 at 11:59 pm (Hawaii Standard Time). If you need help determining what time 11:59 pm in Honolulu is in your neck of the woods go here.

Only one entry allowed per person.

Entries will be stuffed into a box that will be waaay too big for the five entries we expect to get for this drawing and then the winning entries will be drawn from this box.

So enter today!!!

Fine Print: Each Oral-B Brush-Up is individually wrapped. We promise your email address will not be used to send you spam about Viagra or breast implants. We also promise your mailing address will not be used to send you credit card or magazine applications. Bribes will not be accepted. We will not be responsible for lost mail.

Item: Lipton Green Tea with Honey Ice Tea
Purchase Price: $0.99
Rating: 2 out of 5
Pros: Cheap, but not even close to how cheap the prizes in this drawing are. Low calories.
Cons: Very light taste. Not as sweet as other green tea drinks.