NEWS: Make Room In Your Belly This Holiday Season For New 3 Musketeers, M&M’s, and Snickers Varieties

/ / Spotted on Shelves / 1 Comment

This December, while you’re waiting in long store checkout lines, listening to children cry as they sit on the lap of a mall Santa, and giving the stink eye to the person who grabbed the last $200 40″ HDTV right before you could, keep an eye out for new 3 Musketeers, M&M’s, and Snickers varieties.

Just like health nuts are in love with coconut water, the folks at Mars are in love with adding coconut to their popular candies, coming out with Coconut M&M’s and Coconut Twix over the past couple of years. The next candy to get knocked over the head with coconut is the 3 Musketeers candy bar. The 3 Musketeers Coconut bars will feature coconut flavor mixed into the chocolate nougat. The 1.49-ounce bars will have a suggested retail price of $1.09.

Do you like Mint M&M’s? Do you like Dark Chocolate M&M’s? If I told you Mars was combining the two to make Mint Dark Chocolate M&M’s, would it blow your mind and make you yell, “Screw my diet! Where’s my remote? Cause I’mma going to get my chocolate on!” Mint Dark Chocolate M&M’s will be available in 1.5-ounce bags with a suggested retail price of $1.09.

Finally, Mars will also release in December, Snickers 3X Chocolate 2 To Go Bars. Yes, that is one clusterfuck of a name. I’m surprised there isn’t the word “too” in its name since it has two other to..too..two. Never mind. The new candy bar with the silly name features roasted peanuts in chocolate caramel on top of chocolate nougat and covered in milk chocolate. The new candy bar with the silly name will come in 3.14-ounces bars and have a suggested price of $1.69.

ANNOUNCEMENT: McDonald’s Gift Card Winner!!!

/ / Announcement, Prize Drawing

Here’s the winner of the $25 McDonald’s Gift Card:

Jp

In case you were wondering, Jp would like to party with Grimace.

Congratulations to Jp!

Also, thank you to all of you who participated. For those of you who are disappointed you didn’t win, we’ve got another gift card prize drawing coming up later this month. So keep an eye out for that.

REVIEW: BK Toppers (Deluxe, Mushroom and Swiss, & Western BBQ)

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Deluxe BK Topper

Burger King loves coming up with product names that end with -er as much as I love watching Maru the Cat videos on YouTube. First, there was the Whopper. Then, Burger King released the Stacker. And now, there’s the Topper.

BK Toppers come in three varieties:

Deluxe – American cheese, lettuce, onions, pickles and Stacker sauce.

Mushroom and Swiss – Mushrooms, Swiss cheese and Griller sauce.

Western BBQ – Onion rings, American cheese and Sweet Baby Ray’s Spicy BBQ sauce.

All come with a 3.2-ounce beef patty, cheese, and a sesame seed bun.

Mushroom and Swiss BK Topper

If you find yourself having to choose one because you lack the funds to buy two or three, I’d suggest avoiding the Mushroom and Swiss one. Its mushroom flavor is definitely strong. It made my mouth taste like I just tried to get rid of a bag of psychedelic mushrooms by eating them while cops break into my bathroom, which has a toilet clogged from trying to flush my weed stash, hence the reason why I’m eating all those mushrooms. But what makes this burger the least appealing of the three is the Griller sauce. I have no idea what Griller sauce is, but whatever it is, it makes the burger a bit too salty. It’s as if I’m French kissing a mermaid.

Update: The new BK Chef’s Choice Burger also has the same sauce and I enjoyed it, so it’s pretty much the mushrooms that ruin this burger. Sorry, grill sauce.

Because my mind is like the World Book Encyclopedia of fast food, the first thing I noticed about the Deluxe and Western BBQ BK Toppers is that they both have ingredients similar to past Burger King burgers. As Grub Grade points out in their review, the Western BBQ BK Topper is basically a Burger King Rodeo Cheeseburger. As for the Deluxe BK Topper, it sounds like a smaller version of the discontinued BK Big King.

Western BBQ BK Topper

Anyhoo, unlike the Mushroom and Swiss BK Topper, both the Deluxe and Western BBQ BK Toppers were worth the $2.49 I paid for each of them. So it’ll be worth the $1.99 you’ll probably pay because you don’t live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

If you enjoy the tangy, Thousand Island dressing flavor of a Big Mac, you’ll like the Deluxe BK Topper. The pickles and onions are larger than what you’ll find in a Big Mac, but it’s almost as messy as a Big Mac. It’s a tasty burger, but I have to say the Western BBQ BK Topper tops it. (Tops. Get it? I. Am. Lame.)

The BBQ sauce sets the Western BBQ BK Topper apart from the others. According to this article, Burger King is using Sweet Baby Ray’s Spicy BBQ sauce. While tasty, I wouldn’t consider the sauce to be spicy hot. However, the sauce’s flavor made me wish it came in Costco-sized tubs so that I could dunk the Mushroom and Swiss BK Topper into it to make it taste better. The onion rings gave the burger a little crunch and a bit of onion flavor that complimented the beef patty and BBQ sauce.

Overall, the BK Toppers are a pleasant addition to the Burger King menu. Well, the Deluxe and Western BBQ ones, but two out of three ain’t bad.

BK Toppers Innards

(Nutrition Facts – Deluxe – 420 calories, 26 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 55 milligrams of cholesterol, 820 milligrams of sodium, 30 grams of carbohydrates, 7 grams of sugar, 15 grams of protein. Mushroom and Swiss – 410 calories, 27 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 55 milligrams of cholesterol, 850 milligrams of sodium, 27 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of sugar, 16 grams of protein. Western BBQ – 400 calories, 23 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 720 milligrams of sodium, 39 grams of carbohydrates, 10 grams of sugar, 16 grams of protein.)

Item: REVIEW: BK Toppers (Deluxe, Mushroom and Swiss, & Western BBQ)
Price: $2.49 each
Size: N/A
Purchased at: Burger King
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Deluxe)
Rating: 4 out of 10 (Mushroom and Swiss)
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Western BBQ)
Pros: Western BBQ BK Topper is damn tasty. Deluxe BK Topper is tasty. Thick patties. BBQ sauce is pretty good. Inexpensive. Even more inexpensive if you get to pay the $1.99 price. Maru the Cat.
Cons: Mushroom and Swiss is the worst. Griller sauce is salty. Available for a limited time. Weed clogged toilets. Deluxe is kind of messy. Having to eat a bag of psychedelic mushrooms before the cops get you.

REVIEW: Jack in the Box Outlaw Burger

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Jack in the Box Outlaw Burger

Eating the Jack in the Box Outlaw Burger really does make me feel like an outlaw, if being an outlaw means not listening to the recommendations of my doctor who says I should avoid eating things like the Jack in the Box Outlaw Burger.

YEEHAW!

If you happen to find yourself at a Jack in the Box, you can rustle either the Outlaw Burger, Outlaw Spicy Chicken Sandwich, or if sodium intake is no object, both. I chose the Outlaw Burger because, according to a t-shirt I read, real outlaws eat beef. Also, according to t-shirts I’ve read, a lot of women are bitches.

YEEHAW!

The Jack in the Box Outlaw Burger is constructed using a beef patty topped with onion rings, two slices of American cheese, hickory smoked bacon, lettuce, tomatoes, and bourbon BBQ sauce on a sesame seed bun. Jack in the Box claims the Outlaw Burger is new, but I think Jack getting hit by a bus in 2009 made him forget the Outlaw Burger was originally introduced in 2006. Even though this blog was around then (when it and I were much skinnier), I never tried it.

In a previous review, I mentioned I didn’t think too highly of Jack’s bourbon BBQ sauce, but for some strange reason I like it in the Outlaw Burger. Although, I do wish the person who made my sandwich squirted on a little more BBQ sauce.

Despite the inadequate BBQ sauce squirtage and ordinary Jack in the Box beef patty, I really enjoyed the Jack in the Box Outlaw Burger. There were decent-sized bacon strips, which were, surprisingly, crispy and provided a little smoky flavor. The onion rings added a bit of crunchiness, but the onion flavor could’ve been stronger. As for the two slices of American cheese…well, they allow the burger to contain four of the five USDA food groups and, looking at the photo above, they’re also the glue that prevents the onion rings and bacon from falling out of the burger.

YEEHAW!

The Outlaw Burger is probably one of the better tasting burgers Jack in the Box currently offers. Sadly, it’s only available for a limited time. So while it’s here, I’m going to ride with an Outlaw Burger, and maybe die with an Outlaw Burger.

YEEHAW!

(Nutrition Facts – 1 burger – 725 calories, 39 grams of fat, 16 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 72 milligrams of cholesterol, 1,558 milligrams of sodium, 61 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 13 grams of sugar, and 28 grams of protein.)

Item: Jack in the Box Outlaw Burger
Price: $7.98 (combo)
Size: Medium combo
Purchased at: Jack in the Box
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: One of the better tasting burgers at Jack in the Box. OMG! The bacon actually turned out decent. Bourbon BBQ sauce with this burger. Eating it makes me feel like an outlaw. YEEHAW!
Cons: Needed more BBQ sauce. Onion rings needed to bring more flavor. Not new. Contains trans fat. Great source of sodium and saturated fat. Pulling quotes from Lonesome Dove.

NEWS: Celebrate National Noodle Day With P.F. Chang’s Home Menu Noodle Entrees

/ / Spotted on Shelves / 6 Comments

PF Chang s home menu garlic chicken noodles

Today, is National Noodle Day.

For realsies.

You could celebrate by going to your favorite ramen place, having the workers yell “irasshaimase” to you when you enter, and slurp noodles to your heart’s content.

Or you could visit your local Italian restaurant, share a plate of spaghetti with your significant other, and recreate the famous scene in Lady and the Tramp.

Or you could spend 75 cents, boil some water, and spend your evening with a Cup Noodles. Or you could eat P.F. Chang’s new Home Menu Noodle Entrees.

The new frozen entrees come in four varieties:

Garlic Chicken with Dan Dan Noodles – White meat chicken with a savory garlic sauce, bell peppers, bok choy and yakisoba noodles

PF Chang s home menu pepper steak noodlesPepper Steak with Chow Fun Noodles – Steak with a sweet and peppery sauce, bell peppers, onions and chow fun noodles

Grilled Chicken Teriyaki with Lo Mein Noodles – Grilled chicken with a teriyaki sauce, pineapple, red bell peppers, onions and lo mein noodles

Firecracker Shrimp with Yakisoba Noodles – Lightly battered shrimp with spicy sauce, carrots, edamame, onions and yakisoba noodles

P.F. Chang’s Home Menu Noodle Entrees feature robust sauces, marinated meats, and unique “noodle nests” that unravel in the skillet midway through cooking as the noodles get coated in a flavor-packed sauce. Each package serves two and are available now in a frozen aisle near you.

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