REVIEW: Yoplait Chocolate Banana Smoothie

Yoplait Chocolate Banana Smoothie

I need a smoothie to wash away the taste of the new Yoplait Chocolate Banana Smoothie. My mouth tastes like a chocolate fondue party is happening in my mouth, but instead of suburbanites, it’s being attended by hobos, hippies, and others who think deodorant is unnecessary.

Also, my mouth happens to be a room where hot yoga classes are held. Everything is creating a combination of chocolate and armpit sourness.

Just like the Boston Red Sox at the beginning of this baseball season, I had high hopes for Yoplait’s Chocolate Banana Smoothie. I thought merging a cup of skim milk with Yoplait’s chocolate-flavored frozen yogurt pieces and frozen banana slices would turn into a tasty, refreshing 16-ounce smoothie that would make me temporarily forget about the Boston Red Sox’s complete choke job, but it ended up being the salt rubbed into my wounds.

Yoplait Chocolate Banana Smoothie In Blender

I like chocolate, I enjoy bananas, and I’m really fond of the original Yoplait Smoothie flavors, so I thought Yoplait’s Chocolate Banana Smoothie was going to be another home run. However, something went horribly wrong with this attempt to steal away profits from Jamba Juice.

Yoplait Chocolate Banana Smoothie Blended

There’s only two good things about Yoplait’s Chocolate Banana Smoothie. It blends easily and it has a wonderful smoothie consistency. It’s not too thick, but also not watery. Oh, there’s a third good thing about this smoothie. It’s cold. But it’s only a good thing if you pour the smoothie on top of your head to cool you down, because pouring it inside of your head via your mouth might not be enjoyable, because as I mentioned before, it’s kind of gross.

Everything about its flavor is unpleasant, from the chocolate-flavored frozen yogurt to the banana to the artificial sweeteners. There’s a repulsive sourness in each sip, which probably originates from the frozen yogurt. It even smells repugnant. On top of all of that, the smoothie has an annoying grittiness.

Overall, this Yoplait Chocolate Banana Smoothie is not bananas.

N-O-T-B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

What?

You thought I would end this review with a baseball reference.

Fine.

Overall, this Yoplait Chocolate Banana Smoothie is as horrible as the number of strikeouts Orioles third baseman Mark Reynolds racks up each year.

(Nutrition Facts – 8 ounces prepared w/skim milk. 130 calories, 10 calories from fat, 1 gram of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 80 milligrams of sodium, 23 grams of carbohydrates, 15 grams of sugar, and 6 grams of protein, 4% vitamin A, 6% vitamin C, 70% calcium, and 4% iron.)

Item: Yoplait Chocolate Banana Smoothie
Price: $3.49 (on sale)
Size: 7.6 ounces
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 2 out of 10
Pros: Blends easily. Nice smoothie consistency. Cold.
Cons: This shit is not bananas. N-O-T-B-A-N-A-N-A-S. Gritty. Its strong artificial sweetener taste. My excessive use of baseball references in this review. Unsure if it contains live and active cultures, since it doesn’t say on the packaging.

NEWS: MiO Energy Allows You To Add A Little Or A Lot of Flavor and Caffeine To Your Water

Update: Click here to read our MiO Energy review

While attending the National Association of Convenience Stores, our pal Steve over at BevReview was able to taste test the upcoming MiO Energy liquid water enhancer. The product will expand the MiO line beyond the original four non-caffeinated MiO flavors.

So get ready to GET XTREME with MiO!!! Or, at least, stay awake at work with MiO.

Like many energy products, MiO Energy contains caffeine and vitamins B3, B6, and B12, although, I don’t know know how much caffeine or B vitamins a serving will provide. MiO Energy will come in two flavors Green Thunder and Black Cherry.

According to the images over at BevReview, MiO Energy comes in 1.08 fluid ounce squeeze bottles and will make 12 8-ounce servings. The original MiO flavors come in 1.62 ounce bottles and makes 24 8-ounce servings. Another difference between the two, while the regular MiO come in grey bottles, MiO Energy come in black bottles.

While doing a little Google digging on MiO Energy, I happen to have discovered MiO will also be releasing a new flavor regular MiO flavor — Orange Tangerine.

MiO Energy will be available in early December.

NEWS: Nathan’s Famous Snacks Won’t Allow You To Hold A Hot Dog-Flavored Snack Eating Contest

Nathan’s Famous, which is famous for their hot dogs and annual Fourth of July spectacle of gluttony Joey Chestnut show hot dog eating contest, has teamed up with Inventure Foods to offer crunchy snacks inspired by Nathan’s menu board.

If Inventure Foods sounds familiar, they should be since they’re the same folks who made these and all the T.G.I. Friday’s snacks.

The Nathan’s Famous snack lineup includes cheddar cheese, chili cheese, and honey mustard flavored crunchy crinkle fries. It also includes crinkle cut potato chips. Surprisingly, there aren’t any hot dog flavored snacks, so you can’t hold a Nathan’s Famous hot dog-flavored snack eating contest next Fourth of July or whenever you like.

The Crunchy Crinkly Fries come in two- and 3.5-ounces bags and will retail for $1.99 and $2.19, respectively. Nathan’s Crinkle Cut Potato Chips will be available in 1.25-ounce bags and have a suggested retail price of 99 cents to $1.29.

NEWS: Jack in the Box’s New Outlaw Burger and Spicy Chicken Sandwich Aren’t Really New

Jack in the Box Outlaw Burger Sign

Update: Click here to read our Jack in the Box Outlaw Burger review

Update 2: Click here to read our Jack in the Box Outlaw Spicy Chicken Sandwich review

Starting today, Jack in the Box will be offering two “new” sandwiches: the Outlaw Burger and the Outlaw Spicy Chicken Sandwich.

Oh, what’s with the quotation marks around the word “new”?

Jack in the Box’s press release says they’re new, but this post from 2006 proves otherwise. Although, there are slight differences between the 2006 version of the Outlaw sandwiches and the 2011 versions, like the type of barbecue sauce and bacon.

This year’s versions of the Outlaw sandwiches come with either a beef patty or spicy crispy chicken fillet and topped with a bourbon barbecue sauce, lettuce, tomato, hickory-smoked bacon, American cheese, and onion rings in between a sesame seed bun.

The Outlaw Burger has 725 calories, 39 grams of fat, 16 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 1,558 milligrams of sodium, 61 grams of carbohydrates, 13 grams of sugar, and 28 grams of protein. The Outlaw Spicy Chicken Sandwich has 771 calories, 32 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1,859 milligrams of sodium, 80 grams of carbohydrates, and 37 grams of protein.

The Outlaw Burger and Outlaw Spicy Chicken Sandwich are available for a limited time at your local participating Jack in the Box.

Source: Burger Business

NEWS: Angry Birds Fruit Snacks and Gummies Make Me Want To Build A Slingshot

Are you frustrated you can’t get three stars on a particular level of Angry Birds? Well, you could vent by punching an Angry Birds plush doll, tackling someone dressed up as an Angry Bird on Halloween, or you could violently chomp on the new Angry Birds Fruit Snacks and Gummies from Healthy Food Brands.

The naturally and artificially flavored chewy treats are shaped to look like the characters from the Angry Birds game and each character has their own flavor.

The cherry flavor is shaped like the basic, useless red Angry Bird, the lemon flavor is the yellow Angry Bird that’s great for destroying wood, the raspberry one is shaped like the small blue Angry Bird that splits up into three birds and is great at destroying ice, the apple one is shaped like those damn pigs who keep stealing the eggs, the grape flavor is the black Angry Bird that turns into a bomb, and the strawberry flavor is the larger red Angry Bird.

Angry Birds Fruit Snack and Gummies are made with fruit juice and are fat-, nut-, and gluten-free. Angry Birds Fruit Snacks come in 2.25- and five-ounce bags. Angry Birds Gummies are available in 3.5-ounce theater boxes and five-ounce bags.

Scroll to Top