QUICK REVIEW: Starbucks Limited Edition Smoked Butterscotch Latte

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Starbucks Limited Edition Smoked Butterscotch Latte

What is the Starbucks Limited Edition Smoked Butterscotch Latte?

As a grab-and-go option for people too busy to stop by a brick-and-motor Starbucks, this coffee-house inspired drink features, “smoky sweet notes of kettle-cooked butterscotch mingled with Starbucks espresso and creamy milk.”

How is it?

Even though a lot of these bottled latte beverages are initially underwhelming due to their lack of milk froth, this limited edition offering took it a bit further by continuing to be disappointing all the way to the bottom of the bottle.

Starbucks Limited Edition Smoked Butterscotch Latte 2

Despite being a “smoked” latte, I thought this was surprisingly less smoky than Starbucks’ regular espresso-based drinks. Actually, rather than having pleasant notes of smokiness, I thought it tasted rather burnt, which also overwhelmed any butterscotch flavor it may have had. It’s almost got an element of artificial char, which is off-putting. I imagine the espresso usually would have helped to even out the acrid aspect of the smoke, but this drink didn’t have nearly enough of it.

Also, Starbucks has no right to boast that the smoked butterscotch is mingling with “creamy” milk. The reduced fat dairy utilized here makes the entire beverage way too watery to be called creamy, and it left me longing for the whole milk lattes served by my local baristas.

Is there anything else I need to know?

If you think this might taste better warmed up and sipped like regular coffee, I’m going to save you the trouble by telling you I’ve already gone that route, and, no, it doesn’t make this poor man’s latte any better. It makes it worse because it makes the espresso seem even weaker in contrast to the smoke flavoring.

Conclusion:

Even though the Starbucks Limited Edition Smoked Butterscotch Latte seems like an easy way to enjoy a seasonal favorite and skip the coffee shop, it’s not. Simply put, you’re going to wish that you had taken the time to stop by a real Starbucks and order a freshly made Smoked Butterscotch Latte.

Purchased Price: $2.79
Size: 14 fl. oz.
Purchased at: Kroger
Rating: 3 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 bottle) 220 calories, 40 calories from fat, 4.5 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 15 milligrams of cholesterol, 110 milligrams of sodium, 36 grams of total carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 34 grams of sugars, and 8 grams of protein.

QUICK REVIEW: 3 Musketeers Birthday Cake

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3 Musketeers Birthday Cake

What is 3 Musketeers Birthday Cake?

It’s the first new 3 Musketeers in, get this, SIX YEARS! A birthday cake variation that doesn’t include chocolate innards but instead it’s packed with vanilla nougat speckled with colorful sprinkles. It’s still all enrobed in rich milk chocolate.

How is it?

3 Musketeers Birthday Cake 2

You know how chocolate is kind of an overpowering flavor when paired with most things? That’s no more evident than here as the chocolate outside very much takes control of this candy bar. The inside is very nice texturally, but tastes somewhat too milky milk chocolate with an incredibly sweet aftertaste. Birthday cake? Hardly so.

3 Musketeers Birthday Cake 4

I decided to remove the culprit and try the white speckled interior on its own. By the way, the so-called sprinkles, while fun and a nice touch, are more like small colored flakes that don’t add any new texture. I was hoping for big honking sprinkles.

Now without the chocolate, I did get an intense sweet vanilla flavor that comes through in the nougat, and it is more akin to what I associate with a birthday cake flavor. To be honest, though, I felt like I was using a ladle to transfer the contents of a canned jar of vanilla frosting to my mouth and had to pace myself to finish both bars.

Is there anything else I need to know?

3 Musketeers Birthday Cake 3

This bar is exclusive to Walmart at the moment and will be available in minis soon as well along with more retailers in early 2019. Fun history fact: 3 Musketeers got its name because the original candy bar had 3 bars with different flavors – Chocolate, Vanilla, and Strawberry.

Conclusion:

If you love eating frosting from a jar or have a fancy for super sweet milk chocolate, then make sure you pick up 3 Musketeers Birthday Cake as you will likely enjoy it. Otherwise, buy yourself Funfetti cake mix with vanilla frosting and dip the finished product into some melted milk chocolate. It will save you a lot of time by not having to track down this flavor and you’ll get a much better end result.

Purchased Price: $1.34
Size: 2.14 oz./2 bars
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 4 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (one 30 gram bar) – 130 calories, 4 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 60 milligrams of sodium, 23 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 20 grams of sugar, and less than 1 gram of protein.

QUICK REVIEW: Wendy’s S’Awesome Bacon Classic

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Wendy's S'Awesome Bacon Classic

What is Wendy’s S’Awesome Bacon Classic?

I guess I’m out of the Wendy’s loop because I wasn’t even aware of its S’Awesome sauce that was introduced a year or so ago. Either way, the chain has slathered it on one of its classic burgers, thrown on some bacon slices, and released it to the public as the S’Awesome Bacon Classic.

How is it?

Wendy's S'Awesome Bacon Classic 2

Eager to try what the advertising calls a “sweet, smoky, tangy sauce” on my single-size burger, I couldn’t really taste it over the heavy saltiness of the bacon. I peeked under the bun and saw a very thin, practically non-existent spread of S’Awesome across the bread. At this point, to me, it tasted like a bacon burger that cost a bit too much at $5.19.

However, I got brave and went to the counter and requested a small cup of S’Awesome sauce which they generous acquiesced to. I used it as a dipping sauce for my burger, which made all the difference in the world. A little dab won’t do. You need a deluge of sauce to get the full power of S’Awesome, which I’m all for.

Is there anything else I need to know?

In addition to the single variety that I purchased, there’s also a double and triple if you need that much Wendy’s meat in your life. There’s also the calorically dangerous S’Awesome Bacon Fries, covered in chunky bacon and S’Awesome sauce. (I’d love to see the S’Awesome sauce as a goopy baked potato topping. That would be truly S’Awesome.)

Conclusion:

Wendy's S'Awesome Bacon Classic 3

What I’m slowly learning is that, when it comes to these sauce-heavy sandwiches, it’s completely up to the sandwich-maker how much they’re going to put on it. In this case, surprisingly any. But, by requesting a cup of S’Awesome sauce and remedying a small manufacturing error, it made Wendy’s S’Awesome Bacon Classic a tasty little burger. However, next time I might get a free cup of S’Awesome sauce and Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger and call it a day.

Purchased Price: $5.19
Size: Single
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 640 calories, 40 grams of fat, 15 grams of saturated fat, 115 milligrams of cholesterol, 1390 milligrams of sodium, 40 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 8 grams of sugar, and 34 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Dunkin’ Donuts Coffee Thins

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Dunkin' Coffee Thins

Caffeine helps with mental focus, and you can tell when someone needs some. For example, I can tell the folks who designed the packaging for Dunkin’ Donuts’ Coffee Thins didn’t get enough.

How do I know?

On the back of the packaging, it says, “Each individually wrapped coffee thin has 60 calories.” But, according to the nutrition facts on the packaging, under that disclosure, a serving of THREE pieces has 170 calories. I dusted off the math portion of my brain and determined that 60 times 3 does not equal 170.

Just kidding. I used the calculator app on my phone. Who does math in their head nowadays?

I imagine caffeinated minds would’ve caught this discrepancy. Or maybe the folks who came up with the packaging got their caffeine from a serving of Dunkin’ Donuts’ Coffee Thins, which doesn’t have a lot. The amount in each one is a more surprising number than the inconsistent calorie total presented in the nutrition facts.

There are 7 milligrams of caffeine per piece. It’s not missing a digit. It’s not a typo.

7.

Okay, that might not be a surprising number to you, but it is to me because I’ve tried other coffee thins that claim a serving of three has the same amount of caffeine as a cup of coffee (85-95 milligrams). The only way a person could get that much with these would be by eating the entire bag of twelve, which would give them (checks calculator app on phone) 84 milligrams and, maybe, a stomachache. But, the weird thing is, one company, Tierra Nueva, makes all coffee thins, so it’s strange the caffeine content differs.

Dunkin' Coffee Thins 2

However, the lack of caffeine might explain why these are less bitter than the others I’ve tried. If you’re not familiar with coffee thins, they have the consistency of chocolate, but are made from coffee beans. With these, they taste as if there’s less coffee in them. It’s more like sweetened coffee with a little bit of cream, making them easier to eat and tasty.

I know I spent a lot of time writing about the Dunkin’ Coffee Thins’ caffeine content, but that’s the most disappointing aspect of this treat. It creamy, sweet, and has a flavor that I enjoy, but the lack of caffeine makes it hard to me to recommend. The whole point of it is to get an energy boost, which I didn’t get after eating a serving. Seven milligrams might do it for some people, but not for me.

Purchased Price: $6.99 (on sale)
Size: 4.2 oz. bag/12 pack
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (3 pieces) 170 calories, 11 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 30 milligrams of sodium, 16 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 15 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Archie McPhee Clamdy Canes and Mac & Cheese Candy Canes

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Archie McPhee Clamdy Canes

Except for starting with the third letter of the alphabet, there is no reason whatsoever for clams and candy canes to go together. But don’t tell that to the folks at Archie McPhee, a Seattle-based company that specializes in all things weird, including candy canes. They have unleashed a diabolical digestive debacle known as the Clamdy Cane (yes, it’s clam-flavored candy).

Archie McPhee Mac & Cheese Candy Canes

The company also birthed a sibling, a slightly less heinous mac & cheese-flavored variety, which joined a candy cane family that already included bacon, pickle, rotisserie chicken, coal (apparently smoke and cinnamon-flavored) and Krampus (also cinnamon).

For this review of the two new flavors, I tackled the challenge with equal parts excitement and fear. I consider myself to be open-minded about a great many things, including trying unique foods. Even so, it was hard not to be a little concerned that these would be biblically bad.

With that said, let’s establish that this review is not really about if these, particularly the clammy concoction, taste “good.” You don’t buy barf-flavored jelly beans or turkey and gravy soda because you think it will be delicious (trust me, it’s not), you buy it so you can say you did and that you tried it. So I did, and I did.

Clamdy Canes

Archie McPhee Clamdy Canes 2

The McPhee website says Clamdy Canes are “gray and white.” However, I found that woefully insufficient and humbly suggest a more accurate white and “dirty paint water.” I know, that probably won’t fit on a crayon, but I couldn’t help thinking the color looked like that nasty slurry after you’ve rinsed a paint brush a dozen times.

I’m happy to report that the Clamdy Canes do taste better than dirty paint water (don’t ask how I know), but it’s not exactly a convincing victory. Surprisingly, there was not much of a smell to these, at least at first. If you really try, you can get a whiff of something if you almost put it up your nose. I couldn’t place the smell, but I wouldn’t call it pleasant. Oddly, after a few licks, the scent comes out, and it’s still not pleasant. I wouldn’t say it smells like clams; it reminded me of warm, flat beer.

As for the taste, it wasn’t bad, and it was certainly better than I thought it would be. There was a hint of a fishy-like taste, but it wasn’t overwhelming or off-putting. It had a subtler sweetness compared to a traditional candy cane, and after you get past the initial thought of “ewww, I’m eating a clam-flavored candy cane,” it was palatable.

But I was a little disappointed that it didn’t taste a bit clammier and grosser. Instead, it was almost like one of those mucous-colored hard candies you see sitting in a bowl on a reception desk that you grab because you can’t pass up free candy. You pop one in your mouth but have no idea what flavor it is and would struggle to describe it to someone.

Did I finish the whole Clamdy Cane? No, but if I didn’t have the mac & cheese flavor to look forward to I could have.

Mac & Cheese Candy Canes

The mac & cheese variety had the same sneaky lack of smell at first until after my tongue caressed it. For this one, the smell is spot-on, at least for the fluorescent orange powered mac & cheese in a box, not your grandma’s homemade stuff.

Archie McPhee Mac & Cheese Candy Canes 2

But for as much as it nailed the smell, the taste was a letdown. If not for the aroma and the packaging, I’m not sure I’d even be able to place it as mac & cheese. Like the clam one, the flavor wasn’t bad. It had a nice, mild sweetness to it, but no real discernible taste and not one that reminds you of creamy, cheesy dish. The best description I can do is if you licked a regular candy cane and swirled it around Fun Dip-style in a bag of Cheetos.

Archie McPhee Mac Cheese Candy Canes and Clamdy Canes

Overall, it’s tricky to score these. On taste alone, they are not bad, but neither one hits the mark as far as what was advertised on the box, though it could be argued that’s a good thing, particularly for the Clamdy Canes. And I do give Archie McPhee points for coming up with a couple of new flavors that stand out in a crowded field of crazy candy concoctions. So as a tasty treat that satisfies your craving for mac & cheese or clams, these are a hard pass. But as a fun holiday gift or prank, even Santa might be tempted to have a box or two on hand.

(Nutrition Facts – Not listed on package.)

Purchased Price: $5.95 each (plus $4.95 total shipping)
Size: 3.8 oz. box for a 6 pack
Purchased at: mcphee.com
Rating: 5 out of 10 (Clamdy)
Rating: 4 out of 10 (Mac & Cheese)
Pros: Not nearly as disgusting as you might expect. Would work well for those stupid gift exchanges at work or among family.

Cons: Bad wordplay on the McPhee website for the Clamdy Canes, including “your family will clamor for them” and “one shell of a candy.” The dancing clam with a Santa hat is a bit disturbing.

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