QUICK REVIEW: Dunkin’ Donuts Limited Edition Pumpkin Spice Bottled Iced Coffee

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Dunkin Donuts Limited Edition Pumpkin Spice Bottled Iced Coffee

What is the Dunkin’ Donuts Limited Edition Pumpkin Spice Bottled Iced Coffee?

A limited edition, pumpkin spice-flavored addition to Dunkin’s bottled iced coffee line that made its debut early last year. This is the second new flavor introduced this year, the first being Cookies & Cream.

How is it?

Unlike the previously mentioned Cookies & Cream flavor, which didn’t taste like what it’s supposed to, this one tastes exactly like how it’s supposed to. From the first sip, the familiar spices — ginger, cinnamon, nutmeg, and cloves — coat my tongue much like brown and orange leaves cover the ground during fall.

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It tastes like I’m eating pumpkin pie with a glass of iced coffee that’s medium on the cream while I sit on my porch watching the fall breezes make those orange and brown leaves dance in my yard at a party I’ll have to clean up later with a rake. I very much enjoyed drinking it, but it’s also not that different from other pumpkin spice iced coffee drinks I’ve had.

If you stuck an incomplete jack-o-lantern on my head with the mouth cut out to act as a blindfold and had me drink various pumpkin spice iced coffees available from stores and fast food chains, I don’t think my taste buds would be able to determine which is which. It’s like finding an orange leaf on the ground with all the other fallen leaves, raking them into a pile, and then trying to find that leaf.

Is there anything else I need to know?

Apparently, I’m REALLY into fall leaf imagery right now. Maybe because we on this rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean don’t experience fall as most of the United States does.

For you caffeineheads, all 13.7 fluid ounces will get you 187 milligrams of caffeine. So make your heart rate spike with pumpkin spice.

Conclusion:

The Dunkin’ Donuts Limited Edition Pumpkin Spice Bottled Iced Coffee is a pleasant way to sip the fall flavor, but nothing stands out about it. It’s just another good option to get one’s pumpkin spice coffee fix.

Purchased Price: $2.49
Size: 13.7 fl. oz.
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 bottle) 260 calories, 7 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 100 milligrams of sodium, 41 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 39 grams of sugar, and 7 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Burger King Nightmare King and Frozen Fanta Scary Black Cherry

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Burger King Nightmare King

Three years ago, Burger King unleashed its HA1loween Whopper on the masses. The steak-sauce slathered burger was really no different from the franchise’s marquee product, save one characteristic: the bun itself was pitch black. We’re talking darker than the other side of midnight or a lump of coal’s shadow. Coupled with an awesome mummy-inspired wrapper, there’s no denying that, aesthetically at least, BK hit a home run with one of the greatest seasonal fast food stunts in history.

That is, until customers started reporting some rather, uh, unsavory side effects associated with the product. And like that, the HA1loween Whopper went from being the All Hallows’ Eve junk food extravaganza of 2015 to forever being known as “that one hamburger that turned everybody’s turds turquoise.”

Well, BK has been hard at work over the last three years refining the general idea of the HA1loween Whopper, and they return this Spooktober with a steak sauce-less variation with a totally overhauled gimmick.

This time around, the revamped and rebranded Nightmare King instead comes with a glowing, algae-green bun, an extra piece of protein and a brand promise that ingesting the burger will give you ACTUAL nightmares. As in, BK even commissioned a real sleep study to prove that eating this Hallow-burger will inspire bad dreams, which has to be the single most bizarre fast food marketing hook I’ve heard of, well, probably ever.

But beyond all of the advertising hullabaloo and the empirical shock of gawping at what appears to be a radioactive Whopper, does the Nightmare King actually deliver the gustatory goods as a limited time only product?

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For starters, it’s almost impossible to describe the actual color of the hamburger bun. Sorry folks, but these photos don’t do the item justice. It’s not quite a lush, verdant green; it’s more of an off-copper gold-green. If Burger King sought to make this sucker look like poisonous fungi, it nailed it out of the park.

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Of course, the hamburger bun, outside of its serpent-like sheen, tastes just like any old sesame seed sandwich. It’s a missed opportunity, in my eyes; I mean, if you’re going to release a bun the same color as swamp algae, wouldn’t you want to make it taste at least somewhat like guacamole or wasabi?

Regardless, the sandwich itself — the Halloween gimmick aside — is astonishingly decent. The Nightmare King is a huge mamajama consisting of a flame-grilled beef patty, a crispy chicken patty, an absolute TON of bacon, a nice slathering of American cheese, a hearty helping of onions and a generous dollop of mayonnaise.

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Needless to say, it’s a VERY filling sandwich that would be as tasty sans the reptilian-tinted bun. It wouldn’t be surprising to see BK re-release this one a little later down the line with a more traditional bun. The dressings may scream “novelty,” but rest assured this is a damn delicious burger, no matter the time of year.

Burger King Frozen Fanta Scary Black Cherry

Lost amid all the hubbub about the Nightmare King, though, is the fact BK has wheeled out another spooky-themed L.T.O. to mark the 2018 Samhain season. And although it ain’t getting as much publicity as the franchise’s other holiday-hued offering, the Frozen Fanta Scary Black Cherry drink is one seasonal treat you don’t want to sleep on.

Effectively a cherry-limeade slush, this thing looks and tastes the way an L.T.O. Hallow-product ought to. It has a nice, velvety, blackish-purple sheen to it, and the half tart-half fruity flavor gives it a nice Jekyll and Hyde dynamic.

And considering the Nightmare King packs a jaw-dropping 1,800-plus milligrams of sodium, you’ll DEFINITELY need to have one of these things on hand to counteract that demonic dry mouth sensation, for sure.

Purchased Price: $6.29 (Nightmare King) $1.00 (Small Frozen Fanta)
Size: N/A
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Nightmare King)
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Frozen Fanta)
Nutrition Facts: (Nightmare King) – 1,020 calories, 65 grams of fat, 20 grams of saturated fat, 2 grams of trans fat, 70 milligrams of cholesterol, 1,890 milligrams of sodium, 60 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 7 grams of sugar, and 51 grams of protein. (Small Frozen Fanta Scary Black Cherry) – 120 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 65 grams of sodium, 34 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 33 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

QUICK REVIEW: Lay’s Popppables Creamy Jalapeno

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Lay's Poppables Creamy Jalapeno

What are Lay’s Poppables Creamy Jalapeno?

The latest flavor in Frito-Lay’s Poppables line is Creamy Jalapeno. While I’ve loved every variety thus far, I can’t decide if the random “Creamy” in the name sounds appetizing or gross.

How are they?

I’ll end the short-lived suspense. Lay’s Poppables Creamy Jalapeno are anything but gross. In fact, I’m ready to admit I’m a full-on Poppables fanboy. These things are delicious.

I love the shape of these. It provides for an excellent airy crisp unlike basically everything on the market right now. The shape of these are like giant potato Chex in a way.

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The jalapeno flavor is the standard you’d expect from Frito Lay, which is a good thing. If you’ve had the jalapeno chips or Fritos, there’s not much deviation from that flavor, although the “creamy” element does provide a nice counterbalance. Plus, the potato flavor seems slightly more pronounced than a normal chip for some reason, and it all just marries together perfectly. There’s really a bit of “creaminess” at play here.

The spice level is manageable, and dare I say “pleasant” in its afterburn.

Is there anything else I need to know?

I don’t necessarily know what to attribute the “creaminess” to, but “creamy jalapeno powder,” sour cream, and yogurt powder are ingredients. I’m thrown off because Frito-Lay usually makes it a point to show a dollop (the worst word in the English language) of sour cream or something on the bag itself.

Oh, and if you’re wondering, I loved the smell of these. It reminded me of unwrapping an Italian sub (or “hero,” or whatever weird name you call a sandwich).

Conclusion:

I’m just a big fan of Poppables, and I think Creamy Jalapeno is the best flavor so far. There’s a bigger bag than the one I purchased, and I’m kicking myself for not getting it.

I assume this snack line is doing well, so all I can hope is that Frito-Lay parlays the success into a reboot of Dorito’s 3Ds, which I’ve been clamoring for since they disappeared over a decade ago.

Purchased Price: $1.48
Size: 2 oz. bag
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 oz.) 150 calories, 9 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 220 milligrams of sodium, 16 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Taco Bell Diablo Tortilla Chips

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Taco Bell Diablo Tortilla Chips

Taco Bell’s Diablo Tortilla Chips are the most devilish and ominous looking chips I’ve ever seen. It’s hard to get more menacing than black chips with red seasoning that come in a bag with a warning label. The only ways I could think of to make them more intimidating is if the inside of the bag was a dark portal to hell and after opening it a claw made from the chips jets out to try to drag you into the netherworld.

Taco Bell Diablo Tortilla Chips 2

The chip’s flavor honors Taco Bell’s Diablo Sauce. It’s a limited time only addition to the Taco Bell Tortilla Chips line that made its debut earlier this year with three flavors — Mild, Hot, and Classic.

The second thing I noticed about these, right behind reminding me of death, is how hearty they are. They feel thicker and sturdier than Tostitos or Doritos and could handle any dip you put in front of it. But there’s no need for any because they have a lot of flavor.

They also have some heat.

If you’re not familiar with Diablo Sauce, you should know these chips are spicy. To me, they’re below or equal to Flamin’ Hot products. The first few have a nice burn. But at a point, they seemed to get less spicy. It’s as if my mouth got slightly numb, so I couldn’t feel the hot peppers as much. While I didn’t feel the need to grab a glass of water, I did need to grab a tissue because the spiciness made my nose run a little.

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On the back of the bag, it says they have a hint of lime. My definition of a “hint” is different and, to me, these have more than a hint. But that’s fine with me because the lime flavor is what makes these stand out. The citrus cuts through the heat a little, which might explain the previously mentioned drop in spiciness, and it also helps make the peppery flavor stand out, which kind of reminds me of taco seasoning, but super spicy.

If you’re a fan of the sauce, you’ll very much enjoy Taco Bell’s Diablo Tortilla Chips. They are spicy AND flavorful. A minor downside is that the seasoning doesn’t make your fingers look like you’ve been crawling through hell. Sucking on the seasoning that builds up on fingers from eating Cheetos and Doritos is satisfying, so I’m disappointed I don’t experience something like that with these. But, overall, these are heavenly.

Purchased Price: Too much from eBay
Size: 3.5 oz. bag
Purchased at: eBay (currently a 7-Eleven exclusive, will be available in more stores later this year)
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 oz.) 140 calories, 8 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 110 milligrams of sodium, 16 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Ben & Jerry’s Exclusive Flavor Minter Wonderland

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Ben Jerry s Exclusive Flavor Minter Wonderland

“Imagine a wild ride through the wintriest, chocolate mintiest wonderland of ice cream filled with crunchy cookie swirls and marshmallowy drifts. Honestly, if this flavor was a toboggan, you’d already be on it.”

So says the back label of Ben & Jerry’s Minter Wonderland, which is dark chocolate mint ice cream with marshmallow swirls and chocolate cookie swirls. If it was a toboggan, I totally would be on it. They’re right. But “wintriest” and “chocolate mintiest”? Not so fast with those superlatives!

As a mint-thusiast, I was hoping for a more potent mint flavor. After all, that’s the only element that’s actually mentioned in the name. It’s barely there, and it’s the least noticeable part of the ice cream. I wouldn’t call it especially wintry or Christmassy.

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I’m guessing part of the wintry claim is the chocolate and marshmallow combination, reminiscent of hot cocoa. Dark chocolate is the dominant flavor. But this isn’t the dark chocolate of those snooty bars that brag about their cacao percentage. It’s more like a Dove dark chocolate, and it works well here.

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It doesn’t take long for the surface area of the ice cream to start melting and smearing on the bowl. In its melted form, the cream is like a rich, delectable chocolate sauce. No complaints here.

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The marshmallow swirl, which looks like the gooey interior of a roasted campfire marshmallow, is interesting to gaze at, but it was hard for me to even notice it in my mouth when it was with the ice cream. When I isolated it, it had an undeniable marshmallow taste and a bouncy texture.

By far the best part of this concoction is the chocolate cookie pieces. They’re chewy and gritty, but gritty in a good way. The back label calls it a crunchy cookie, but it’s more like a cross between a cookie and a brownie. They’re so good that I might say I would like more, but that’s not entirely fair; there already is a good ice cream to cookie ratio.

This flavor is exclusive to Target. That might seem like an inconvenience, but let’s be honest: isn’t it always great to have an excuse for a Target run?

Ben & Jerry’s Minter Wonderland is a wonderful ice cream. But I hoped it would have a stronger mint flavor, and I don’t think it’s particularly groundbreaking. It’s mostly just cookies/brownies in chocolate ice cream.

Purchased Price: $3.33
Size: 1 pint
Purchased at: Target (Exclusive Flavor)
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1/2 cup) 270 calories, 140 calories from fat, 15 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 45 milligrams of cholesterol, 60 milligrams of sodium, 31 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of dietary fiber, 24 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein

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