REVIEW: Wendy’s Cajun Crunch Chicken Sandwich

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Wendy’s Cajun Crunch Chicken Sandwich is more crunch than Cajun.

Between the Spicy Chicken filet, pepper jack cheese, Cajun crispy onions, lettuce, pickles, spicy mustard spread, and bun, four of them bring some level of crunch — the chicken, onions, lettuce, and pickles. Whenever I took a bite, there was a crunch here, a crunch there, a crunch everywhere.

But that texture doesn’t take away or redirect the spotlight from the sandwich’s flavor, which is exceptionally memorable. However, it’s not unforgettable because it’s delicious. It’s because this chicken sandwich tastes like a fish sandwich.

The combination of mustard and pickles is like a spicy tartar sauce, and it’s what my taste buds and mind reeled in with multiple bites from this. My tongue did note the Cajun spices on the crispy onions from time to time, but for the most part, my mind could not get away from the idea that this cluck sandwich tasted like a glub sandwich.

This menu item was also memorable because the chicken filet was dry AF (As Faya-Largeau). It’s been a while since I’ve had a fast food chicken that was this devoid of moisture, and it made a disappointing sandwich just a little more disappointing. Of course, your results may vary.

When it comes to spiciness, if you’re a fan of the heat from Wendy’s regular Spicy Chicken Sandwich, you’ll likely find this option to roughly be in the same ballpark, even with the spicy mustard. It’s a nice tingly heat that doesn’t go overboard or overwhelm the sandwich’s flavors.

Wendy’s Cajun Crunch Chicken Sandwich is a rather mediocre offering, unless you’re fond of fast food ASMR. While it does have a crunch that some might find satisfying, the overall flavor was disappointing. If you happen to live near a Popeyes, you have a better tasting option for a crispy chicken sandwich with Cajun spices.

Purchased Price: $7.49*
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 640 calories, 31 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 90 milligrams of cholesterol, 1390 milligrams of sodium, 55 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 5 grams of sugar, 33 grams of protein.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

REVIEW: McDonald’s Nether Flame Sauce

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I know nothing about Minecraft.

But I do know that one of the ingredients in McDonald’s Nether Flame Sauce is also found in pepper spray — oleoresin capsicum. While not as unpleasant as I imagine being pepper sprayed is, this spicy sauce was not my cup of scalding hot tea.

Here’s how McDonald’s describes the sauce, “Like the lavafalls of the fiery dimension, this exclusive spicy Nether Flame Sauce will singe even the feistiest of mobs. Feel the heat of the Nether with crushed red pepper and flaming cayenne. Crafted with fiery flavor, this hot sauce gives hints of savory garlic and subtle sweetness. If you can dig the heat, know it goes perfectly with a 10-piece Chicken McNuggets.”

Spoiler Alert: I could not dig the heat and didn’t even want to dip all of my 4-piece order of McNuggets into it.

Of course, with the name “Nether Flame,” it should be evident that it will be spicy. But I thought it would be “mass appeal fast food spicy” where there’s a nice amount of heat that makes me want to reach for a refreshing and soothing McDonald’s Diet Coke, but I don’t NEED to. I guess I expected a heat level similar to the recent limited-time McNugget sauces.

While my eating history shows that I don’t mind the spicy, after dipping two McNuggets, my taste buds threw in the towel because they had a hunch that if they continued, the capsaicin level would make them and our digestive system regret it later. Also, while eating those two nuggets, I NEEDED to reach for the comfort of an ice cold McDonald’s Diet Coke. Of course, heat tolerances are different, so some of you might find this sauce’s spiciness to be lava off a duck’s back.

With those two McNuggets I consumed, I noticed not only the sauce’s spiciness and pepperiness but also a strong garlic taste, which also accompanied other recent limited-time McNugget sauces. So, it’s a little surprising that it’s also a notable component of this one. However, this sauce is much spicier than the previous ones.

If McDonald’s had turned down the heat a little, I might’ve enjoyed this because I love garlic. However, at the same time, doing that might’ve made this taste more similar to previous sauces.

Overall, while I know nothing about Minecraft, I do know that this Nether Flame Sauce is at the nether level of my favorite McNugget sauces.

Purchased Price: Free w/Chicken McNuggets
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 25 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 500 milligrams of sodium, 6 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 5 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Popeyes Pickle Lemonade

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When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade.

When life gives you cucumbers, you hesitate for a second; maybe you snicker a bit, but then, you make pickles.

Well, what if life gives you both? It appears life had an encounter with the mad scientists over in Popeyes Louisiana Kitchen, and they decided to kill two hypothetical birds this time and grace the world with something so weird, so wild, so reckless, I had to try it.

Life comes at you fast.

Yeah, that’s right, it’s time for the main event. I know you’ve read all about Popeyes’ new pickle menu, but this is the one you’ve been waiting for. Fried pickles?! Snooze! Pickle wings? Fickle things! A pickle-glazed chicken sandwich? Surely, they jest! It’s all about the pick de resistance. The pick o’ the litter – the Pickle… Lemonade?

So, uh, yeah, this wasn’t great. It’s exactly what you think it is, but… it coulda been worse.

On one hand, it’s vile, and I hate it; on the other hand, it’s fun and mildly drinkable. I’m torn, and I’ll explain why.

Popeyes nails the ratio. It’s a perfect blend of lemon and pickle flavors if that’s your thing. It tastes like “Country Brine Lemonade.” Since pickle juice is such a dominant flavor, it’s probably 75-25 lemonade, but they seem balanced.

Somehow, it transformed from lemon to pickle mid-sip. The initial taste is a mildly sweet lemonade that transitions into a soft pickle flavor. Honestly, I can tell the base lemonade is probably cloyingly sweet from the flavor and the sugar content, and this might have even made it more palatable. The lemonade itself reminded me of Lemonheads before the pickle burst in.

Diluted pickle dominated the smell, but it wasn’t like taking a huff of a jar; it was like Pickle Brine Lite. I guess you can say the experience goes pickle–lemon–pickle, with just a weird amalgamation of both left to linger in the aftertaste.

If you like bread and butter pickles or sweet relish, this really isn’t that bad. Sure, it’s a strange delivery system for those flavors, but the profile is pretty similar. If I had to give a CliffsNote review, I’d just say it tasted like a chunk-less sweet relish. “Mmmmmm, chunk-less sweet relish.”

I truly didn’t hate it, but I didn’t finish it either. It wore out its welcome after about five sips, and at that point, my sandwich was long gone, so I had nothing to cut the sweet and sour with.

It’s not salty either. If you handed this to me and said it was just an “-ade” made from some exotic South American fruit I wasn’t aware of, I’d feel cultured and think it was kinda good.

So, it’s bad… but it’s kinda good for a few sips. It’s worth trying just to say you did. You might even like it. You can even get it frozen, and it pairs well with Popeyes’ Chicken Sandwich, which definitely still hits.

Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: Medium
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 270 calories, 0 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 380 milligrams of sodium, 71 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 67 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Dunkin’ Arctic Cherry Energy Drink

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Dunkin’ could’ve jumped onto the mystery flavor train with its Dunkin’ Arctic Cherry Energy Drink. It comes in a typical “mystery flavor” color that doesn’t give away what it tastes like. Heck, the chain could’ve even used part of the name if it decided to make it a mystery flavor, and I’ve got the perfect name it could’ve had — Dunkin’ Cryptic Arctic Energy Drink.

BOOM! Please hire me for your not fully fleshed out product name ideas!

The beverage’s opaque white color could be confused with any number of drinks, especially lemon-lime ones. But it does look “arctic.” Brrrr. Just looking at it makes me want to put on some Uniqlo Ultra Warm HEATTECH clothing.

The coffee and donut chain says Cryptic Arctic Energy (I’mma making the name change happen) has “sweet and tart cherry notes with flavors of blueberry and grapefruit.”

When I took my first straw sip, I got hit with a strong dose of the syrup mixed in and couldn’t really pinpoint the fruit flavors as my taste buds were dunked on with sweetness. After giving the drink a stern stirring, I took another sip. But this time, I mostly tasted the carbonated water with a hint of fruitiness. Worried that I had just sucked out all of the drink’s flavor with the previous sip, I gave it even more drink gyrations. Thankfully, I got the right amount of flavor with the following slurp. While I didn’t notice the grapefruit, I could primarily taste the cherry, and in the aftertaste, I noticed the blueberry more. It’s a nice flavor, but you do not need to rush out the door to try it.

Dunkin’ Arctic Cherry Energy Drink (okay, I give up trying to make a name change happen) is fine, just like the other Dunkin’ Energy flavors available. I’d repurchase it if I don’t feel like getting a coffee for my caffeine fix, since it does have 144 milligrams of the good stuff.

Purchased Price: $3.99*
Size: Medium
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 130 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 200 milligrams of sodium, 29 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 26 grams of sugar (including 26 grams of added sugar), 0 grams of protein, and 144 milligrams of caffeine.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

REVIEW: Starbucks Canned Iced Energy Sparkling Energy Drinks

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Here we go with Starbucks entering the energy drink market again with its canned Iced Energy Sparkling Energy Drinks. Remember Starbucks BAYA? You don’t? Come on, it came out three years ago and lasted maybe two years before being discontinued. How could you not remember BAYA? It’s the best energy drink name to say ever. Okay, I liked saying Cocaine, so it may be the second-best energy drink name to pronounce ever.

Anyhoo, BAYA is bye-bye, so we’re stuck with this canned version of the Iced Energy Beverages that Starbucks serves up in its stores but doesn’t come in any of the flavors offered in stores. They come in skinny 12-fluid-ounce cans and three flavors — Blueberry Lemonade, Watermelon Twist, and Tropical Peach. Unfortunately, I could only procure the first two, so maybe the last one is a myth. All flavors, real and mythical, have zero sugar and 160 milligrams of caffeine per can.

What disappointed me about Starbucks’ BAYA Energy was how mild the flavors were when compared to the big guns in the energy drink market. These new energy drinks have a slightly stronger fruitiness but still don’t pop like Monster and Rockstar’s zero sugar offerings.

The Blueberry Lemonade one has a decent, mild berry flavor with a hint of tart lemonade. But sometimes that lemonade gets really weird on the backend. It’s a slightly off-putting twist that, I swear, kind of brings to my mind moldy bread. However, it’s so mild that I drank the entire can without gagging like I do when I actually accidentally bite into moldy bread (it’s happened to me multiple times at this point in my life).

While Blueberry Lemonade had a twist, the variety with the word “Twist” in its name didn’t have one. Watermelon is the main taste here, and I assume the “twist” is supposed to be the lime, but I don’t notice it. Instead, I only get a watermelon taste that reminds me of a less sweet and flavorful Jolly Rancher. If I had to choose between the two varieties, I’d pick this one, but it’s not by a wide margin.

Starbucks’ Canned Iced Energy Sparkling Energy Drinks are okay. While it has 160 milligrams of caffeine from green coffee extract and electrolytes from salt, it doesn’t offer the flavor intensity to convince me to choose it over other energy drink brands. I wouldn’t be surprised if we also have to say bye-bye to it two years from now.

Purchased Price: $2.79
Size: 12 fl oz cans
Purchased at: Times Supermarket
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 can) 5 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 35 milligrams of sodium, 0 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 0 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein.

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