REVIEW: Java Monster 300 Triple Shot

Java Monster Triple Shot

I present to you a Java Monster Triple Shot Energy Coffee review with a number of words that equals the number of milligrams of caffeine each can has —- 300.

(Yes, including these words and those above. So it’s really 258 words below.)

Monster Energy might be trolling Starbucks with this new coffee drink line because, if not for a tap of the space bar, it would’ve been a trademark violation. You see, Starbucks, last year, came out with an energy coffee line called Tripleshot, which is a followup to the brand’s Doubleshot line.

Java Monster Triple Shot features, you guessed it by looking at the large numbers on the labels and reading the first paragraph above, 300 milligrams of caffeine per can, and it comes in two flavors — French Vanilla and Mocha. Starbucks’ Tripleshot has a not round number of 225 milligrams of the stimulant, but is currently available in five flavors.

Java Monster Triple Shot French Vanilla
Java Monster Triple Shot French Vanilla

While Java Monster Triple Shot can pump a Spartans army at the Battle of Thermopylae’s worth of caffeine into your bloodstream, I feel that’s the only noteworthy thing it has.

Both varieties smell, look, and taste similar to their regular Java Monster counterparts, but it seems as if some flavor was sacrificed in order to get to 300 milligrams of caffeine. To me, they’re slightly less flavorful than any regular Java Monster, especially the French Vanilla variety. Yes, I shook them.

Java Monster Triple Shot Mocha
Java Monster Triple Shot Mocha

With that said, Jave Monster Triple Shot drinks are perfectly fine coffee beverages if you want or need a whole lot of caffeine in 15 ounces. But if you don’t need to pump your bloodstream with that much, I’d recommend sticking with the regular Java Monster line, which has 188 milligrams per can. Or you could purchase a can of Starbucks’ Triple-no-space-shot.

300 words.

Purchased Price: More than anyone should pay on eBay
Size: 15 oz. cans
Purchased at: eBay
Rating: 7 out of 10 (both flavors)
Nutrition Facts: (1 can) French Vanilla – 200 calories, 3.5 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 210 milligrams of sodium, 34 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 32 grams of sugar, and 7 grams of protein. Mocha – 200 calories, 3.5 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 220 milligrams of sodium, 35 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 32 grams of sugar, and 7 grams of protein.

SPOTTED: Keebler Special Batch Hot Fudge Sundae Fudge Stripes

REVIEW: Dunkin’ Croissant Stuffers

Dunkin Croissant Stuffers Side

What are Dunkin’ Croissant Stuffers?

Dunkin’ is looking to kickstart its own “is a hot dog a sandwich” like debate by offering two new croissants stuffed with meats and cheeses.

How are they?

I’m prepared to say there are a couple of tasty new breakfast sandwiches (???) on the market.

I don’t know what it is about these little rolls that always turns me into a (probably offensive) caricature of a Frenchman, but when I eat one I just have to say “Qua-sahn,” and follow that up with that stereotypical “huh-huh” grunt laugh and a fake mustache twirl. So gimmie a second while I do my routine.

Ok, now that I got that out of my system, it’s time to shove these into it.

The actual croissants are perfectly textured. They were as buttery and flakey as you’d expect, but that’s not to say the overall sandwiches (???) were without their flaws.

Dunkin Chicken Bacon  Cheese Croissant Stuffers

Chicken, Bacon & Cheese – First of all, Everything seasoning is a game-changer. I’d eat an Everything Croissant every morning without remorse. The stuffing is where this one went off the rails a bit.

Dunkin Chicken Bacon  Cheese Croissant Stuffers Innards

If you are expecting a lot of chicken and bacon, well, this is basically the anti-Arby’s, because they don’t have the meats. There was a tiny piece of rubbery bacon weaved through and a flimsy piece of chicken that got dwarfed by the flavors of bacon and Colby Jack – which was the best part of the stuffing. If you’ve ever had a Chicken Bake from Costco, this tasted kinda like a Lean Pockets version of that with less chicken and no dressing.

Dunkin Three Cheese Croissant Stuffers

Three Cheese – This one wasn’t exactly teeming with stuffing either, but the mix of mozzarella and cheddar was delicious. There’s also a baked-on layer of Swiss on the outside of the croissant, which brought it all together. I’d call Three Cheese borderline great, but I still wish there was more cheese overall. Also, Dunkin’ should’ve added Colby Jack to this one too.

Dunkin Three Cheese Croissant Stuffers Innards

Anything else you need to know?

I’m a huge fan of the Cheddar Bagel Twists Dunkin’ sells, and the way the Swiss was baked on the Three Cheese Stuffer reminded me of those. Baked-on cheese is underrated.

Oh, and if you’re hungry, these aren’t exactly huge portions, so you might wanna grab one of each.

Conclusion:

Croissant Stuffers are a nice light breakfast. I’m happy the croissant is the star of each show, but I imagine the majority of people are gonna be left unfulfilled by the lack of stuffing in these sandwiches.

That’s right, I have declared them a sandwich.

Purchased Price: $3.49 each
Size: n/a
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Chicken, Bacon & Cheese), 8 out of 10 (Three Cheese)
Nutrition Facts: Chicken, Bacon & Cheese – 330 calories, 18 grams of fat, 10 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 710 milligrams of sodium, 29 grams of total carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 6 grams of sugar, 14 grams of protein. Three Cheese – 320 calories, 17 grams of fat, 10 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 500 milligrams of sodium, 30 grams of total carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 6 grams of sugar, 12 grams of protein.

SPOTTED (STORE BRANDS EDITION) – 5/11/2020

Here are some new store brand products found on store shelves by your fellow readers. If you’ve tried any of them, share your thoughts in the comments.

Trader Joe s Ube Mochi Pancake  Waffle Mix
Trader Joe’s Ube Mochi Pancake & Waffle Mix

(Spotted by Michael S at Trader Joe’s.)

Great Value Limited Edition Lemon Creme Instant Oatmeal
Great Value Limited Edition Lemon Creme Instant Oatmeal

(Spotted by MM at Walmart.)

Casa Mamita Queso Fundido Wavy Potato Chips
Casa Mamita Queso Fundido Wavy Potato Chips
Casa Mamita Crispy Taco Wavy Potato Chips
Casa Mamita Crispy Taco Wavy Potato Chips

(Spotted by James D at Aldi.)

Journey to Japan Wasabi Wavy Potato Chips
Journey to Japan Wasabi Wavy Potato Chips
Journey to Japan Ponzu Ginger Wavy Potato Chips
Journey to Japan Ponzu Ginger Wavy Potato Chips

(Spotted by James D at Aldi.)

Mi Tienda by H E B Mango Chamoy
Mi Tienda by H-E-B Mango Chamoy

There’s also a Watermelon Strawberry Chamoy available. (Spotted by Robbie at H-E-B.)

SPOTTED: Kellogg’s Spongebob Squarepants Cereal (2020)

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