What is Cool Whip Mix-Ins Birthday Cake?

Cool Whip is the kind of product that you notice when it’s not there. No, not in the good “Oh, my God we don’t have any Cool Whip? This is a disaster!” kind of way. It’s the “Oh! We have real whipped cream instead of Cool Whip? Nice!” kind of way. Everyone wants the real thing but will be fine with the tub of Cool Whip that’s been sitting in the freezer since last Thanksgiving.

Kraft Heinz Foods is trying to change that by introducing new varieties of the ubiquitous dessert topping, and its latest is Cool Whip Mix-ins Birthday Cake.

How is it?

I didn’t know what to expect from this product. Birthday cake frosting can have an overpowering sweetness, and bad frosting always leaves a waxy residue on your tongue. Neither would be welcome on top of my pie. Plus, how will the sprinkles work in this context? Will I have a bunch of loose sprinkles in my mouth once the Cool Whip has dissolved? There’s a conspicuous lack of pie in my house right now, so I’ll have to try this eat this with a spoon. A finger would be more typical for me, but I decided to bring out the good silver for this review.

I think this Cool Whip would work just as well on top a piece of pie as a spoon (or finger) because its flavor is subtle enough not to overwhelm anything. It has a distinct taste that’s really reminiscent of a birthday cake but won’t turn your mom’s famous apple pie into a monstrous birthday-pie hybrid. The sprinkles are more than coloring but dissolve quickly and without any waxy residue.

Is there anything else you need to know?

There are a lot of new flavors popping up these days, and I’m getting a bit confused. What exactly is unicorn flavor? Is cotton candy flavor more than just sugar? And what’s the difference between cake batter and birthday cake flavor? More importantly, how do manufacturers decide what to call their new stylishly mysterious concoctions when there are so many options?

In this case, the Cool Whip people knew that one option was off the table: unicorn. You know why. C’ mon. I can’t be the only one thinking it. Cool Whip Birthday Cake Mix-ins is exactly what unicorn… excreta.. would look like.

Yes, unicorns are sacred, majestic, and importantly, not real animals, but they’re theoretically biological entities and need to undergo the natural biological processes such as waste removal. Now that I’ve put the thought in your head, enjoy Cool Whip Mix-ins Birthday Cake! It’s good!

Conclusion:

Cool Whip’s newest flavor threads the needle of being distinct enough from regular Cool Whip to be an enjoyable novelty without overpowering whichever dessert it’s topping.

Purchased Price: $1.84
Size: 8 oz. tub
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 tbsp) 25 calories, 1.5 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of sodium, 3 grams of carbohydrates, 2g of Total Sugars, 2 grams of added sugar, and 0 grams of protein.