NEWS: Kellogg’s Creates Made Up Dessert Name For Their Frosted Rainbow Cookie Sandwich Pop-Tarts

Rainbow

Update: Click here to read our Rainbow Cookie Sandwich Pop-Tarts review

If my protruding, slightly hanging gut is correct, I’ve eaten a lot of ice cream treats over the years, but I’ve never heard of a rainbow cookie sandwich, which Kellogg’s is attempting to recreate with their new Kellogg’s Frosted Rainbow Cookie Sandwich Ice Cream Shoppe Pop-Tarts.

Go and Google “rainbow cookie sandwich.” Or let me do it for you. You’ll see that Kellogg’s is trying to emulate the flavor of a dessert with a name that doesn’t seem to exist. Because if Google doesn’t know what it is, then it doesn’t exist.

Although, from the packaging, it looks like the rainbow chocolate chip crust, vanilla filling and chocolatey icing swirl on top is supposed to create a flavor that’s like an M&M’s Cookie Ice Cream Sandwich.

One Frosted Rainbow Cookie Sandwich Pop-Tart contains 200 calories, 6 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 2 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 200 milligrams of sodium, 35 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 15 grams of sugar, 2 grams of protein and, like all Pop-Tarts, it’s fortified with a throng of vitamins and minerals.

Source: Kellogg’s website

THE YEAR IN REVIEWS: The Top 10 Most Popular Reviews on The Impulsive Buy in 2010

In the blogosphere, the trend towards the end of the calendar year is to post Top 10 lists. I’ve read lists that cover the Top 10 Viral Videos, Top 10 Social Networks, Top 10 iPhone Apps, Top 10 Sexy Movie Moments, etc. So I decided to post a list of the Top 10 Most Popular Reviews on The Impulsive Buy in 2010, because I sometimes like to be a sheep. This list is not only based on traffic, but also the number of times it been shared on social networks. So here they are in a particular order:

10. McDonald’s Holiday Pie

I’m surprised this ended up on the list since it was posted in mid-December. But I guess a lot of people wondered what the hell a McDonald’s Holiday Pie was and were hypnotized by its radioactive yellow innards.

9. Macadamia Nuts with SPAM

I think most of the traffic for these came from Hawaii, California and Guam. Did you know Guam has the highest SPAM consumption per capita in the world? I certainly do because my Guam friends keep reminding me.

8. Taco Bell XXL Chalupa, Fire-Roasted Border Sauce and Verde Border Sauce

I didn’t review the XXL Chalupa, but I think this got a lot of traffic because people were wondering how XXL it was. Personally, I think it was more XL than XXL. If it were truly XXL, it would’ve been the size of an NFL regulation football.

7. Starbucks VIA Iced Coffee

Despite my penchant for snorting powders, I have yet to snort the Starbucks VIA Iced Coffee.

6. Hot Pockets SideShots Mini Cheeseburgers

There are now three varieties of Hot Pockets SideShots and they all look like boobs (or a butt) when still frozen.

5. Nair for Men Hair Removal Spray

For some reason this video review was seen on YouTube several thousand times. Sadly, that doesn’t count as viral. Maybe if there was more nudity, there would’ve been more views. Dammit. I should’ve shown a nipple.

4. McDonald’s Real Fruit Smoothies

I still find it strange whenever I have to type “McDonald’s” and “fruit” within the same sentence.

3. Jones Bacon Soda

I still have the bottle I opened for the review and it’s still four-fifths full. I plan to stick it in a time capsule to make someone in the future gag.

2. Limited Edition Frosted Pumpkin Pie Pop-Tarts

I really hope they bring these back every year. I also hope someone figures out a way to use them in a real pumpkin pie recipe.

1. McDonald’s Frappe

This review was, by far, the most visited TIB review in 2010. And, yes, it’s the third McDonald’s product on this list, which makes it look like we’re getting paid by McDonald’s. But I assure you we’re not. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a warm bath of Big Mac Secret Sauce waiting for me.

REVIEW: Jack in the Box Cheesy Fries and Chorizo Cheese Fries

Jack in the Box Cheesy Fries

I don’t enjoy Jack in the Box’s fries, because I find them to be sticks of golden brown boredom. My palate thinks they’re not salty enough, not potato-ey enough and they somehow make me cry, like I’m watching Toy Story 3.

When I do end up at the box Jack built, I always order the curly fries instead. But sometimes they mess up my order and I end up with their regular fries. When this happens I get extremely angry, and, I swear, when it happens again I’m going to buy a gigantic white plastic sphere; cut a hole in it; draw a mouth and angry eyes on it; glue on a pointy nose; put it over my head; walk into the Jack in the Box that messed up my order; ask for the manager; then demand they switch my regular fries for curly fries; and, if they don’t, I’m going to threaten to fire all of them.

Because I dislike Jack in the Box’s regular french fries, I wondered if they would be tolerable in the forms of Jack’s new Cheesy Fries and Chorizo Cheese Fries.

Both fry varieties consist of a small serving of Jack’s regular fries, which are topped with either a cheese sauce or a cheese sauce with crumbled chorizo sausage. Personally, I wish Jack in the Box called them “potato nachos,” but according to Urban Dictionary, the term has already been used in a different, and surprisingly, non-sexual way.

The Jack in the Box Cheesy Fries look like what I imagine my arteries would look like if I were able to turn them inside out after eating the Jack in the Box Cheesy Fries, while the Chorizo Cheese Fries look like a Frankenfood made by a drunk guy at one in the morning that combines the seasoned ground beef and cheese sauce from Taco Bell with Jack in the Box’s crappy regular fries.

The cheese sauce that’s dumped on top of the Cheesy Fries tastes like cheddar, and it surprisingly makes Jack’s fries a little more than tolerable. Although, I wish they were drowning in cheese sauce or at least waterboarded a few times with cheese sauce, because I believe Jack’s fries need to experience a cheesy death or, if waterboarded, near death.

Jack in the Box Chorizo Cheese Fries

But if you’re planning to experience either of these new fries, I’d suggest coughing up the extra scratch to pick up the Chorizo Cheese Fries. The slightly spicy flavor of the chorizo sausage is what makes these fries stand out. It’s like eating chili cheese fries, except greasier, however, with the same level of guilt. Just like with the Cheesy Fries, I wish there was a bit more cheese sauce, since the cheese flavor was a bit lacking, although not an amount that drowns or waterboards.

Since the Jack in the Box Cheesy Fries and Chorizo Cheese Fries are extremely messy if eaten the same way one eats regular fries, Jack conveniently provides forks. If they don’t provide utensils, might I suggest buying a gigantic white plastic sphere; cutting a hole in it; drawing a mouth and angry eyes on it; glueing on a pointy nose; putting it over your head; then walk into the Jack in the Box that didn’t give you forks; ask for the manager; demand they give you forks; and, if they don’t, threaten to fire all of them.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 Cheesy Fries – 504 calories, 262 calories from fat, 29 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 23 milligrams of cholesterol, 1145 milligrams of sodium, 511 milligrams of potassium, 50 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 2 grams of sugar and 11 grams of protein.)

Other Jack in the Box Cheesy Fries and Chorizo Cheese Fries reviews:
An Immovable Feast
Junk Food Betty

Item: Jack in the Box Cheesy Fries and Chorizo Cheese Fries
Price: $1.99 (Cheesy Fries)
Price: $2.69 (Chorizo Cheese Fries)
Size: ???
Purchased at: Jack in the Box
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Cheesy Fries)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Chorizo Cheese Fries)
Pros: Both make Jack’s fries more than tolerable. Both need more cheese sauce. Chorizo Cheese Fries are really good. Spiciness of the chorizo sausage. Pretending to be Jack Box. Toy Story 3.
Cons: Jack in the Box fries. Chorizo makes Chorizo Cheese Fries a little too greasy. Jack in the Box messing up my order. Jack in the Box forgetting to give you utensils. Constructing a Jack Box head.

NEWS: New Pebbles Treats Gets All Up In The Grill Of Rice Krispies Treats

Cocoa Krispies vs. Cocoa Pebbles

For years, I wondered why Post never made a Rice Krispies Treat equivalent using Fruity and Cocoa Pebbles cereal. But now I no longer need to wonder, thanks to Post and their new Cocoa Pebbles Treats and Fruity Pebbles Treats.

Sure I could’ve made my own Pebbles Treats or wait for a nearby bake sale, but it’s hard overcoming my laziness or facing the old ladies at the bake sales I go to, who are total sharks.

When comparing the two rice cereals, Pebbles has always been the better tasting one. For example, Cocoa Krispies tastes like Count Chocula sucked the cocoa out of Cocoa Pebbles.

Post brags about their Pebbles Treats being only 90 calories, but so are prepackaged Rice Krispies Treats. However, unlike Rice Krispies Treats, they have no high fructose corn syrup. Plus, they’re gluten free.

One bar of Fruity Pebbles Treats has 90 calories, 2 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 100 milligrams of sodium, 10 milligrams of potassium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 9 grams of sugar and 1 gram of protein. While a bar of Cocoa Pebbles Treats has 90 calories, 2 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 110 milligrams of sodium, 25 milligrams of potassium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 9 grams of sugar and 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: McDonald’s Fruit & Maple Oatmeal

McDonald's Fruit & Maple Oatmeal

Ordering the McDonald’s Fruit & Maple Oatmeal via the drive-thru at my local McDonald’s made me feel like I was in an alternate universe, where McDonald’s brags about being fresh and healthy, while Subway has a fat Jared Fogle dressed up as a clown as their spokesperson.

Oatmeal on the McDonald’s menu board looks out of place, like a fish out of water or the white member of The Roots.

I know McDonald’s has other “healthy” fare, like their fruit parfait and Fruit & Walnut Salad, but oatmeal is in the upper echelon of healthy eating. Basically, its wholesomeness does the opposite of what most McDonald’s food does. It’s been shown to help lower blood pressure, control weight, and reduce the risk for type 2 diabetes. The fiber in oatmeal helps get rid of the bad cholesterol in the body and makes holding in farts more difficult.

The addition of the Fruit & Maple Oatmeal to the fast food giant’s menu looks like another attempt to be like Starbucks, which has been selling oatmeal for a while. I can understand the appeal of a powerful entity trying to be even more powerful, since I occasionally like put on some big women’s sunglasses to see things though the eyes of Kim Jong-il.

But the question that arises is whether or not you can trust McDonald’s with oatmeal. Are they Boy Scout trustworthy or as trustworthy as a random audience member yelling random numbers at you as you stand on a stage figuring out the value of a Price Is Right’s Showcase that consists of a jet ski, a trip to the Bahamas, a sailboat and a Ford Mustang convertible?

After trying the Fruit & Maple Oatmeal, I believe you can trust McDonald’s.

McDonald's Fruit & Maple Oatmeal Closeup

Sure, the pictures above look like a pretentious health nut douchebag threw up into a cup after some detox treatment, but I assure you it’s not. If the oatmeal didn’t come with so much liquid, it wouldn’t look the way it does. Personally, I prefer my oatmeal to be a bit thicker.

Although I had mine with brown sugar (you can order it without), I didn’t think the oatmeal was overly sweet.

There’s an assortment of fruits with the whole grain rolled oats: diced green and red apples, dried sweetened cranberries, California raisins and golden raisins. They provide a wide variety of flavors and textures to go along with the soft oatmeal. There’s an ample amount of fruits, which ensures that there’s something in each spoonful.

Overall, I think the McDonald’s Fruit & Maple Oatmeal is a winner and I definitely see myself buying it on a regular basis. Its flavor easily makes most packets of instant oatmeal seem like dull mush. Its warmth is nice during these cold months here on this rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Plus, I think it’s hearty enough that it could be a meal by itself.

If McDonald’s keeps releasing more healthier products, I wonder if our universe will end up being the alternate one.

Whoa! I just totally blew my mind.

(Nutrition Facts – 9.2 ounces with brown sugar – 290 calories, 40 calories from fat, 4.5 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 160 milligrams of sodium, 57 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber, 32 grams of sugar, 5 grams of protein, 2% vitamin A, 130% vitamin C, 10% calcium and 10% iron.)

Other McDonald’s Fruit & Maple Oatmeal reviews:
Dave’s Cupboard
Grub Grade
Foodette Reviews

Item: McDonald’s Fruit & Maple Oatmeal
Price: $2.49
Size: 9.2 ounces
Purchased at: McDonald’s
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: Really good. Right amount of sweetness. Available throughout the day. Lots of fruits. Decent source of fiber. Winning both Price Is Right Showcases. Hearty. Excellent source of vitamin C. The Roots.
Cons: Too much liquid for me. 32 grams of sugar. Getting oatmeal from McDonald’s seems weird. Putting on women’s sunglasses to seeing the world through Kim Jong-il’s eyes. Fiber makes holding in farts harder.