The Impulsive Buy

REVIEW: Limited Edition Red Velvet Peeps

Margaret / December 4, 2014 / Reviews / 4 Comments

You people. You marshmallow lovers. You raucous, inscrutable, dangerously admirable marshmallow lovers. Turns out, you’ve made 232,000 Google pages devoted to “Peeps marshmallow recipes.” You have such daring. Such skill. Such eschewing of tradition. You put Peeps on your peanut butter sandwiches, in your pancakes. Sometimes, you just smack out your miniature flamethrower and torch those suckers up. Surely, I have stumbled into my confectionary tribe. You do realize this will only lead to mischief.

For example, if I were to find myself with two packs of specialty Peeps the day after Thanksgiving, who would stop me? Certainly not you. Certainly not Target. And certainly not this Peep staring at me with its big ol’ waxy eyeball.

And for that, I am grateful because straight from the plastic veneer, Photoshopped with candy canes cut straight from the Windows 92 Clip Art book, the chickadees tumble out like gangbusters: sandy and sugary on the outside with a white fudgy coating glistening on their chickadee rumps, these might be confused for the fowl that grace the lakes of a Sugar Plum Fairy. Oh sure, they’re just glorified gelatin, but dear god, isn’t that what Peeps are all about? How can we expect anything more? How???

Because Peeps is making a promise here. A promise to dish out the Red Velvet Cake in all its cocoa-y, sugary, acidic glory. A promise to which they [somewhat] live up to.

These little mallows are sweet. Straight up sugary. Unquestionably red. The inside is sweet and cocoa-y like Duncan Hines cake batter mixed with chocolate Jell-o pudding. The outside sugar crust has the taste and texture of fine sanding sugar, but with a slight mineral aftertaste, like the faint tarnish of a cast iron skillet (because the party hasn’t started until Red #40 brings the bite of metallic cookware, am I right?)

Thankfully, the white fudge is there to pick up the slack with melty, smooth sweetness. Traditionalists, be forewarned: this isn’t cream cheese icing. Heck, it’s mainly palm kernel oil and dextrose, but it does have a quick melt and is dappled with little sprinkles, making a good show for those who subscribe to the buttercream predilection. If you like your icing sweet, dig in, but, if you’re sensitive to sugar overdose, you may feel like you’re being smacked in the head by a tetherball. Only you can know your limits. Just make sure you bring a graham cracker. S’mores will be in your future.

It’s easy to think of new products as a long chain of evolving improvements, as a never-ending advancement toward largeness and complexity, but Peeps knows not to flatter itself with such delusions. They thrive, nay, celebrate the creation of the same marshmallow sensation over and over. These Peeps are a pretty good riff on that variation. At the best of times*, they made me feel like I was eating cake batter straight outta Martha Stewart’s golden Kitchen Aid. Other times, I felt like I was eating the crust of a rusty nail.

*The worst of times was when I had just put lotion on my hands and wrestled to open the package for 15 minutes.

Aftertastes and mistimed use of moisturizer aside, these Peeps provide marshmallow lovers something different while still sustaining the unique, smooshed Peeps signature. Sure, they may not be astounding, but they remind me that, even when life’s not astounding, I can be grateful that it doesn’t completely suck.

(Nutrition Facts – 3 Chicks/1 pack – 150 calories, 30 calories from fat, 3.5 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 25 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 30 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein..)

Item: Limited Edition Red Velvet Peeps
Purchased Price: $1.99
Size: 3 Peeps Pack
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Doesn’t completely suck. Duncan Hines cake batter. Squishy. Festive fudge glaze. Reason to make s’mores. Reason to pursue Mischief. Windows 92 Clip Art.
Cons: Doesn’t completely suck. Red #40 tastes like a cast iron skillet. Glaze is mainly palm oil and dextrose. Getting smacked by a tetherball. Poorly timed use of moisturizer.

Peeps

SPOTTED ON SHELVES – 12/4/2014

Marvo / December 4, 2014 / Spotted on Shelves / 4 Comments

Here are some interesting new and limited edition products found on store shelves by us and your fellow readers. If you’ve tried any of the products, share your thoughts about them in the comments.

Twizzlers Strawberry Lemonade Filled Twists

Not a fan of these filled Twizzlers. Can’t use them as straws. (Spotted by Joshua at Walgreens.)

Target Popcorn

Brand-less popcorn. Scary. Brand-less chili con queso, dill pickle, sriracha, and bacon cheddar popcorn. Interesting. (Spotted by Jamie at Target.)

Market Pantry Frosty Chewy Granola Bars

Market Pantry Graham Reindeer-Shaped Mini Cookies

Frosty the Chewy Granola Bar was a sweet and salty soul. With white chocolate chunks and a length to make it hard to eat whole. (Spotted by Jamie at Target.)

Hostess Donettes Glazed Mini Donuts Bag

Hostess Donettes Glazed Mini Donuts 6 pack

For some reason, I wish I had a cup of coffee right now. (Spotted by Joshua at Walmart and Cassie at Walmart.)

Thank you to all the photo contributors! If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new or limited edition product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us an email ([email protected]) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. Or reply to us (@theimpulsivebuy) on Twitter with the photo and the hashtag #spotted. If you do so, you might see your picture in our next Spotted on Shelves post.

Also, if you’re wondering if we’ve already covered something, search our Flickr photos to find out.

REVIEW: Burger King YUMBO Hot Ham & Cheese Sandwich

Marvo / December 3, 2014 / Reviews / 32 Comments

I don’t have a kid, but I’ve put some thought into his or her name. I’ve been thinking of names that are hard to make fun of, but that has been a difficult task.

Brandon…Brandumb.

Evelyn…Neverlyn.

Reginald…Reginard.

Catherine…Casserine.

Dick…Dick.

Geez, I’m a natural at this. I should’ve been a bully instead of being the target of bullies.

Burger King’s YUMBO Hot Ham & Cheese Sandwich has a name that’s extremely easy to make fun of. YUCKBO. This sandwich is DUMBO. YUMNOOOO. And those names do a wonderful job of describing how I feel about the YUMBO.

The YUMBO is constructed using slices of black forest ham, two slices of American cheese, Burger King’s sad lettuce, and mayonnaise on the hoagie bun used with BK’s Original Chicken Sandwich. Before I tell you how mediocre this sandwich is, let’s take a quick trip back into time.

The YUMBO is not a new sandwich. It was originally introduced in 1968 and taken off the menu six years later. The original didn’t include lettuce, mayonnaise, or a hoagie bun. You can see what it looked like in this vintage Hungry Jack’s commercial. (Hungry Jack’s is what Burger King is called in Australia.)

Being that I wasn’t born when the original YUMBO was around, I have no idea what it tasted like. But I do know the present version is disappointing. First off, the ham in my sandwich was not hot. Well, to be exact, my entire sandwich was lukewarm, including the toasted bun. Because the cheese was slightly melted, it might’ve had a little warmth during the 30 second walk from Burger King to my car and the 60 seconds I took to take photos, but it had none when I put it into my mouth. Gooey melted cheese is one thing that makes a hot ham and cheese sandwich awesome, but mine was just room temperature.

I will admit my YUMBO appears somewhat appetizing with the salty ham looking like it was placed lovingly onto the bun, but it tastes like a ham sandwich I could make at home with some cheap Land O’Frost meat, half-eaten lettuce stolen from a bunny cage, a free Best Foods/Hellmann’s mayo packet from 7-Eleven, a hoagie bun, and not giving a damn.

After taking a few bites, I decided I wasn’t going to settle for a lukewarm sandwich and ended up microwaving it for 20 seconds when I got home. When the ham is hot and the cheesy is gooey and warm, it’s a noticeably better sandwich. Although if you decide to nuke it, get rid of the lettuce before you do so because heat makes BK lettuce worse than it already is. Actually, why is there lettuce? To be honest, I don’t even think lettuce wants to be in the sandwich because it kept falling out as I ate mine.

The YUMBO Hot Ham & Cheese Sandwich is part of the 2 for $5 menu, so if you don’t want to heed my warnings and try the ham sandwich, you can do so knowing you have a back up sandwich. It’s not YUCKBO when it’s warm, but I shouldn’t have to microwave my sandwich to make it decent. With the YUMBO being a limited time only product, it’ll eventually be taken off the menu again. And if it doesn’t show up again for decades, I won’t mind.

(Nutrition Facts – 490 calories, 24 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 65 milligrams of cholesterol, 1770 milligrams of sodium, 49 grams of carbohydrates, 10 grams of sugar, and 23 grams of protein.)

Item: Burger King YUMBO Hot Ham & Cheese Sandwich
Purchased Price: $4.59*
Size: N/A
Purchased at: Burger King
Rating: 4 out of 10
Pros: A better sandwich when ham is hot and cheese is gooey and warm. Microwave ovens. Backup sandwiches.
Cons: Ham was not hot. Entire sandwich was lukewarm. Subway makes a better ham sandwich. Look at what you made me type, Burger King! Not the sandwich from the bell-bottoms generation. BK’s bad lettuce. Stealing from bunny cages. Bullies.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

Burger King Fast Food

REVIEW: KFC Loaded Potato Bowl

Marvo / December 2, 2014 / Reviews / 6 Comments

If movies, like Spider-Man, can be rebooted, then I guess it’s possible to reboot a fast food menu item. That’s what I believe KFC’s Loaded Potato Bowl is. It’s a reboot of their Cheesy Bacon Bowl from 2011.

The Loaded Potato Bowl is made up of mashed potatoes, gravy, corn, diced crispy chicken tenders, a three cheese blend, green onions, and a bacon cheese sauce. The Cheesy Bacon Bowl featured mashed potatoes, gravy, corn, crispy chicken, cheese, and bacon.

Of course, like most reboots there are differences from the original, like in The Amazing Spider-Man, Peter uses mechanical webshooters, but in Spider-Man he shoots webs out of his wrists. The KFC Loaded Potato Bowl’s mechanical webshooters are green onions. And the bacon cheese sauce is the bowl’s Gwen Stacy.

As you can see in the photo above, my Loaded Potato Bowl did not come with mechanical webshooters.

Much like previous KFC bowls, the Loaded Potato Bowl looks like the result of a KFC meal placed in the trunk of a car that’s been doing donuts in a parking lot for 15 minutes. It’s not pretty, but as the other KFC bowls have taught me, never judge a KFC bowl by it looking like something that came out of a mouth, instead of something that should go into a mouth.?

There’s a lot of mashed potatoes. So perhaps it gets its name not because it’s supposed to taste like a loaded potato skin or loaded baked potato, but because it’s loaded with potatoes. Mine also came with a lot of gravy, a decent amount of corn, a layer of diced crispy chicken tenders, a smidge of the three cheese blend, a smothering of cheesy bacon sauce, and, as I mentioned earlier, no green onions.

In my Cheesy Bacon Bowl review, I noted that the bacon bits made the whole thing super salty. But that wasn’t the case with this bowl since the cheesy bacon sauce has 75 percent less bacon bits than what was on the Cheesy Bacon Bowl. If you think that’ll equate to a significant decrease in pork flavor, let me assure you there’s enough salty, smoky bacon bits so that you’ll have some in every sporkful. The sauce also wasn’t very cheesy. It tasted more like a mild gravy than a cheesy sauce.

The chicken, surprisingly, was able to maintain some crispiness sitting in a pool of what is essentially Thanksgiving sides after my 15 minute drive home. There were a few pieces that were almost all breading, there were mostly meaty pieces. Those pieces that had meat were tender, but the double dose of gravy chokes the chicken’s flavor.

As I ate my way through the bowl, all I could think about was how I’ve had this before. It’s a slight variation of KFC’s Famous Bowl and an even slighter variation of the Cheesy Bacon Bowl. Maybe the green onions would’ve made a huge difference, but I think the difference still would’ve been slight.

To be honest, I was more fascinated with the spork that came with my Loaded Potato Bowl than the meal itself. When did KFC update their sporks?

With all that said, KFC’s Loaded Potato Bowl is fine if you like to eat your KFC food out of a mini trough. It’s filling and it has all the KFC flavors you know and love. But if you’re hoping for something different, you should wait for KFC’s next showing.

(Nutrition Facts – Not available on KFC’s website.)

Item: KFC Loaded Potato Bowl
Purchased Price: $5.99
Size: N/A
Purchased at: KFC
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Lots of mashed potatoes. Good amount of chicken. Filling. Chicken was able to maintain crispiness even after sitting in a pool of gravy and mashed potatoes.
Cons: Tastes too similar to previous KFC bowls. Some chicken pieces were mostly breading. Double dose of gravy chokes the chicken’s flavor.

Fast Food KFC

REVIEW: Coca-Cola Orange (Japan)

Marvo / December 2, 2014 / Reviews / 9 Comments

In order to taste an orange-flavored Coca-Cola, you could do it the easy way.

That involves visiting one of the many Coke Freestyle machines throughout the country and selecting a Coke with orange flavoring. Here’s a link to help you find your nearest Coke Freestyle machine. There’s probably one within driving distance from you.

But if you want to taste an orange-flavored Coca-Cola the hard way, you could search eBay for someone selling Coca-Cola Orange, which is new in Japan, mull over spending $10 or more to purchase and ship a bottle from an eBay seller in Japan, decide to pull the trigger when you rationalize to yourself that it’s cheaper than flying to Japan, and then wait 1-2 weeks for it to arrive.

Guess which path I chose.

Yes, I took the harder option. I believe a wise man once said, “Satisfaction is sweeter when the tougher path is taken.” Or did I read that from a fortune cookie? Or is that a combination of inspirational song lyrics?

Anyhoo, I picked up a bottle of this limited edition soda from a seller in Japan for the low price of $3.99 plus $8.99 for shipping.

When it comes to new flavors, Coke in Japan is much more conservative than Pepsi Japan, who puts out exotic flavors like baobab, cucumber, and strawberry milk. The other Coke Japan flavor I tried was green tea. That might sound exotic to you, but in Japan green tea is like pumpkin spice in the U.S. It’s in everything.

Coca-Cola Orange has a slight orangey aroma to it and, when I hold it up to a light, it looks like it has a slight orange hue. To me, its flavor ratio is 70 percent Coke and 30 percent orange, which makes it taste 100 percent awesome, or as the Japanese would say, sugoi. That’s your Japanese lesson for the day and there will be a pop quiz at the end of this review.

I’ve had Coke with Lime and Coke with Lemon before, and the thing with those flavors was that they had a floor cleaner-ish vibe to them. But there’s none of that with Coca-Cola Orange. According to the label, there’s no fruit juice, so it’s not a natural orange flavor. The orange is artificial, but it definitely enhances the Coke with a pleasant sweet citrus flavor.

Now that I think about it, the flavor combination would make a great Coke Float. Imagine a Creamsicle Coke Float. That would be…what’s the Japanese word for awesome?

I told you there would be a pop quiz.

(Nutrition Facts – 100 ml – 47 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of sodium, 11.7 grams of carbohydrates, and 0 grams of protein.)

Item: Coca-Cola Orange (Japan)
Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: 500 ml
Purchased at: eBay
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: Better tasting than Coke with Lime and Coke with Lemon. Orange doesn’t taste floor cleaner-ish. I think it would be great in Coke Float form. Doing things the easy way.
Cons: Not made with fruit juice. Pop quizzes. Spending over $10 per bottle when purchased from eBay. Kind of boring compared with the flavors Pepsi Japan comes out with. Doing things the hard way.

Beverage Coca-Cola Coke Japan Soda

REVIEW: Limited Edition Red Velvet Peeps

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SPOTTED ON SHELVES – 12/4/2014

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REVIEW: Burger King YUMBO Hot Ham & Cheese Sandwich

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REVIEW: KFC Loaded Potato Bowl

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REVIEW: Coca-Cola Orange (Japan)

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