REVIEW: Kellogg’s Froot Loops Treasures Cereal

Kellogg's Fruit Loops Treasures

If one man’s junk is another man’s treasure, then the new Froot Loops Treasures are something I would expect to find at a Bald Eagle’s garage sale.

Mind you, a Bald Eagle, if he were having a garage sale, would have some really good ‘junk.’ What with being the symbol of America, freedom, and numerous sports teams, but when you get right down to it, it’s still selling stuff considered junk.

Kind of like the new Froot Loops Treasures, which with a veritable rainbow of artificial food dyes and 12 grams of sugar per completely unrealistic one cup serving, could be either junk or treasure in the eye of the beholder.

If the concept behind Froot Loops Treasures looks familiar, then award yourself a +1 in the nostalgia department and consider the case of Hidden Treasures.

It was a General Mills cult favorite that had an otherwise unimpressive two year run during the early days of the Clinton administration. The gimmick behind the corn cereal with a fruity center was that not all of the squares contained actual fruit (and I use the term ‘fruit’ incredibly loosely; as in anything with color). Thus, eating Hidden Treasures was like going on a treasure hunt in cereal bowl. Man, the early 1990s were some wild times indeed.

Kellogg's Fruit Loops Treasures In Bowl

Froot Loops Treasures avoids such trickeration completely and just packs each red square with strawberry-flavored filling. While I didn’t verify the exact ratio of standard Froot Loops rings to strawberry squares with an exhaustive hand count, I’d put the ratio at about 8:1 or so.

In other words, you’re still getting plenty of that standard Froot Loops goodness. The loops aren’t as crunchy as they were back before the days when Kellogg’s made them slightly healthier with multigrain elements, but they’ve still got the cloying-in-a-good way taste that’s vaguely coconutty and fruity with a slightly glazed mouthfeel. If you love them, you love them; and oh how I love them.

The red squares lack that faux-donut glaze that the loops have, and when nibbled plain, they don’t have any taste. The good news is the filling actually has a bit of discernible strawberry flavor and even a backend note of tartness.

Kellogg's Fruit Loops Treasures Innards

It’s a strawberry goo/puree deal that has become standard for fruit-filled cereals like the Frosted Mini-Wheats Touch of Fruit in the Middle varieties. It’s not quite as candylicious as the filling of a gusher and has a little more viscosity than fruit leather. I’m sure it would make a fine spread for tea and crumpets and somesuch. 

The problem – and it’s a major one – is the same problem most filled-cereal pieces have: there’s just nowhere near enough filling to make a major impact. Given the over-the-top and one note sweetness you either love or hate with Froot Loops, the addition of a berry-flavored kick on the backend just doesn’t do much enough to make you feel like you’re eating a different kind of cereal.

Kellogg's Fruit Loops Treasures In Milk

I will say the filled-pieces are more enjoyable in milk than eaten plain. There must be something about the addition of moisture that draws out the texture of the filling, and breaks up the monotony of the standard Froot Loops flavor. To that end, I’ve become increasingly less enthusiastic about Froot Loops eaten in milk since a reformation of the formula to a multigrain texture a few years ago. They just don’t seem to stay crunchy enough, unlike, say, Malt-O-Meal’s Tootie Fruities.

If you’re a fan of Froot Loops, then you’re going to find a trove with the new Froot Loops Treasures. They’ve got everything regular Froot Loops have plus a welcomed change-of-pace that actually gives the cereal a bit more flavor and texture than the classic.

But if you’re like me, and you’re the kind of person who feels like each expedition down the cereal aisle is a search for a new and sugary treasure, then the lack of strawberry filling and textural contrast in the latest Froot Loops don’t mark the spot.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 cup – 110 calories, 10 calories from fat, 1 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat*, 0 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 0 gram of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 140 milligrams of sodium, 35 milligrams of potassium, 26 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 12 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Item: Kellogg’s Froot Loops Treasures Cereal
Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 10.5 oz. box
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: No change to the super sweet taste of standard Froot Loops. Red squares all come with at least some strawberry filling. Noticing an actual tartness and genuine strawberry taste in a cereal with more food colorings than a paining supply store. Now with fiber!
Cons: Not enough strawberry filling to make me feel like I’ve found a cereal treasure. A standard bowl mostly tastes just like regular Froot Loops. Froot Loops rings lack crunch of the good old days. Not remembering what Hidden Treasures tastes like. Animal garage sales.

SPOTTED ON SHELVES – 6/24/2013

Here are some interesting new and limited edition products found on store shelves by us and your fellow readers. If you’ve tried any of the products, share your thoughts about them in the comments.

Goldfish Mac & Cheese

Somewhere in America, someone is topping their Goldfish Mac & Cheese with crushed Goldfish crackers. (Spotted by Dubba at Walmart.)

Rosemary & Olive Oil Premium Round Crackers

Flavored Premium Saltine Crackers!?! I can now make my mouth dry and uncomfortable with flavored Premium Saltine Crackers. (Spotted by Adam at Weis.)

Treasure Cave Zesty Buffalo Wing and Southeast Smoked Blue Cheese

“America’s #1 Blue Cheese”? I didn’t know people kept track of that. (Spotted by Adam at Walmart.)

Limited Edition Turkey Hill Southern Lemon Pie Ice Cream

Limited Edition Lemon Twist Oreo

Limited Edition Turkey Hill Southern Lemon Pie Ice Cream and Limited Edition Lemon Twist Oreo cookies are back! Combine the two to make your face look like you’re manning a kissing booth or taking a selfie. (Ice cream spotted by Stefanie at Target. Oreo cookies spotted by Charmi at Foodland.)

Thank you to all the photo contributors! If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new or limited edition product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us an email ([email protected]) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. If you do so, you might see your picture in our next Spotted on Shelves post.

REVIEW: Limited Time Only Wheat Thins Lime

Limited Time Only Wheat Thins Lime

Are we hitting the trough of the Latino flavors wave?

Not quite, but I think we’ve passed the crest because here we have Limited Time Only Wheat Thins Lime.

I’m fond of Wheat Thins, they’re more subtle than Triscuit and have more personality than saltine crackers. I’m also a fan of some of the flavored Wheat Thins and I love lime.

I love lime so much that when I was a child, I would gobble all the lime “gelatin gems” in those cheap variety cups before anyone could get them.

I even (drunkenly) threw a bag of Skittles out of my car when I realized they replaced lime with disgusting “green apple.” If I had to buy tortilla chips for some wet-ass salsa (all salsa sucks, by the way), I would opt for the Tostitos Hint of Lime.

So what’s not to love about these new Wheat Thins? The nutty flavor of Wheat Thins and the zesty slap of lime. Well, you know when you finally get together with a friend you recently rekindled via Facebook and you realize “What the hell? You’re nothing like your posts?!” Yeah, that’s kind of like these Wheat Thins.

I expected them taste like Wheat Thins with that powdery lime-zest those Tostitos have and they do, but it’s all wrong. First, the lime flavor is too faint because that nutty, almost roasted taste takes over the entire cracker.

Limited Time Only Wheat Thins Lime Super Closeup

Second, I tasted more of the lime zest by licking my finger and I hate people that lick their fingers. You can even see the green specks on the cracker that mislead you.

You taste the lime zest immediately, but it’s so quick that you would think Hangover III stayed on the minds of the public longer. The flavor doesn’t last because it mellows into an almost faint creaminess of garlic and then the familiar nutty taste ramjams your tongue like a terrible National Geographic video about wild animals in heat. RAMJAM!!!

Limited Time Only Wheat Thins Lime Back of Box

The back of the box screams, “Taste the bold lime flavor.” There’s no way to say it, but that’s a lie and I don’t mean “That dress looks good on you” lie…I mean the “Mommy and Daddy will always love you” kind of lie. What a bunch of crap.

One look at the ingredients and it’s no wonder the lime flavor is as present as my parents when I was having an emotional breakdown. The ingredients list garlic powder, sour cream, and onion powder. It’s as if Nabisco wanted to really do something crazy like moon someone, but then they said, “How about we moon them with our pants on? And also instead of mooning, how about we just stick our tongues out? And instead of sticking our tongues out, let’s just ignore them and whistle loudly?”

Limited Time Only Wheat Thins Lime Sticker

The box actually has a sticker that states “People will swipe this.” I can only guess maybe in Russia where people are relegated to eating dark breads and dour potato dumplings. Okay not true, but you get the picture. Anyhow, it leads to a website called flavorprotection.com which is a site about protecting flavor and the joke falls flat. And if I’m speaking about a website, then that should be another indication of how blah these Wheat Thins are.

The only redeemable quality about Wheat Thins Lime is that they are just mediocre and won’t offend your tongue. The resident crunch and Wheat Thins taste are still present. You can’t beat them when they are topped with slices from the cheap rectangle shaped Monterey jack supermarket cheese. Well, you can, just buy normal Wheat Thins and eat those.

I guess my point is why do I have to enjoy a cracker by having to eat it with something else? I enjoy sitting on the couch, shoving my hands in a box of crackers as I leave specks of cracker dust on the remote and just eating them plainly. And does one really have time to mess with slicing cheese when Cheaters is on? By the way that new host Clark Gable III sucks.

Simply put, the lime/citrus zing is too weak, but if you like Wheat Thins in general…well, you could do worse…like replace Joey Greco.

(Nutrition Facts – 14 pieces – 140 calories, 50 calories from fat, 6 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 3.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 250 milligrams of sodium, 85 milligrams of potassium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of dietary fiber, 3 grams of sugars, and 2 grams of protein.)

Other Limited Time Only Wheat Thins Lime reviews:
Junk Food Guy
Yum Sugar

Item: Limited Time Only Wheat Thins Lime
Purchased Price: $2.50 (on sale)
Size: 9 oz. box
Purchased at: Publix, where they don’t let you put “Go to hell Matt” on a cake you’ve ordered.
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: The citrus zing hits you immediately. Lime skittles. The familiar nutty taste Wheat Thins have. The word “ramjam.” Wheat Thins are always crunchy. Joey Greco.
Cons: The citrus zing hits you immediately and then dies off just as quickly. The lime taste is faint. The box lies to you, there is no bold taste. Parents lie to you, there is no love. Clark Gable III.

SPOTTED ON SHELVES – 6/21/2013

Here are some interesting new and limited edition products found on store shelves by us and your fellow readers. If you’ve tried any of the products, share your thoughts about them in the comments.

Starbucks Discoveries Iced Cafe Favorites

Ever since International Delight introduced their iced coffee in cartons, I’ve been waiting for Starbucks to show up with their own. Maybe to make it feel like I visited a Starbucks, I’ll misspell my own name on the carton. (Spotted by Cortney at Bakers.)

Godiva Dessert Truffles

Godiva Chocolatier Dessert Truffles. I believe that was the most hoity-toity group of words I’ve ever typed. (Spotted by Blaire at Target.)

Bear Naked Morning Power Packs

If you call them Morning Power Packs, I’m going to be a rebel and eat them only during the hours of noon and 11:59 PM. (Spotted by Marvo at Target.)

Marie Callender's Easy Side

Four minutes! These Marie Callender’s Easy Sides may be easy, but they sure aren’t made for the super impatient, like me. (Spotted by Marvo at Target.)

Kellogg's Limited Edition Monsters University Cereal

Did we really need a Monster University cereal? Also, did we really need a Monsters Inc. prequel? (Spotted by Charmi at Foodland.)

Thank you to all the photo contributors! If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new or limited edition product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us an email ([email protected]) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. If you do so, you might see your picture in our next Spotted on Shelves post.

REVIEW: Vanilla Chex Cereal

Vanilla Chex Cereal

Like bricks, electricity, and duct tape, Chex is a multi-tasker.

It can be used as a breakfast, a snack, a party mix, or, in a pinch, Monopoly board pieces.

Its whole-grain-boosted carbohydrate energy has the capacity to sully forth good ideas, nourish lumberjacks in the woods, or provide the inspiration to bust out the Jock Jams and dance, dance, dance.

It is the chameleon of crunch, the gymnast of the three-ring-circus of cereal. Supposedly, it also makes a fine crust for fried chicken.

Fortunately, the folks at Chex have realized this proximity to perfection and embraced it, releasing a conglomeration of checkerboard-shaped cereals throughout its 76-year-old existence. Their newest iteration? Vanilla.

Frosted and unfrosted: these are the players of the Vanilla Chex game. The unfrosted Chex are of the rice variety, which is welcoming in its simple, one-note taste. The smidgeon of flavor it sustains is that of toasted rice (think Rice Krispies). While they may not hold much in the way of flavor, these unfrosted squares really succeed in crunch.

Vanilla Chex Cereal Frosted Unfrosted

Their sturdy square shape provides a solid structure that maintains its shape in milk for 10-18 minutes (pending on your tolerance for milk-coated cereal) while the checkerboard holes give a quilted texture to your crunching experience. What’s better is that this unfrosted rice backdrop highlights the bespeckled bits of vanilla-coated Chex, which dot the canvas bowl like pink flamingos on a lawn.

Vanilla Chex Cereal Bowl

In a world where birthday cakes are slathered with bleach-white frosting and starch-colored dairy dessert qualify as “vanilla”, it is easy to forget that vanilla is a spice and, thus, has the potential to add notes of honey, caramel, pineapple, clove, and, if the planets align just right, hints of bourbon.

Here, the folks at Chex are banking on the honey qualities of vanilla, a taste that provides the rice Chex with a little fructose kick, making it sweet enough for a snack/dessert without becoming too sweet for breakfast. Tasted alone, the frosted bits remind me of the no-cream-involved crème of an Oreo, adding a nice sugary crumble to the rice crunch. Sure, this may not be the vanilla of a Tahitian bean, but it goes splendid with chocolate milk.

Speaking of milk, might I mention how well suited these bits are for the creamy beverage? And not just regular ol’ dairy milk. I’m talking adventuresome milk. The kind of milk that broadens horizons: almond, soy, strawberry-banana-flavored, you name it. The vanilla sugar seeps down into the milk, leaving you with a honeyed, slightly nuttier version of said milk. It’s just enough of a shift in flavor to be noticeable without being aggressive (and really, who wants to eat aggression for breakfast?)

I’ve tried many iterations of gluten-free snacks that have been so dry and tasteless that they have entered my nightmares in the form of anthropomorphic Frankenstein-ian dry cookies. I’m relieved to report that this Vanilla Chex is one gluten-free snack that will not haunt my nightmares. In fact, it’s a pretty tasty spin on the classic without flipping the cereal on its backside. Basic, but not fuddy-duddy. Crunchy, but not mouth-shattering. Inoffensive, but flavory (which is a word, despite what my spell check says). Good show, Chex.

(Nutrition Facts – 3/4 cup – 120 calories, 15 calories from fat, 2 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 190 milligrams of sodium, 45 milligrams of potassium, 25 grams of carbohydrates, Less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, 8 grams of sugars, and 1 gram of protein.)

Item: Vanilla Chex Cereal
Purchased Price: $3.29
Size: 13.5 oz. box
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Crunchy. Crumbly vanilla coating. Vanilla bits reminiscent of Oreo crème. Not fuddy-duddy. Gluten free. Good as snack or breakfast. Broadening milk horizons. Nourished lumberjacks.
Cons: Could use more vanilla bits. Not necessarily revolutionary. “Flavory” is not accepted in my spell check. Memories of grocery store Birthday cake. Frankenstein cookie nightmares.

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