REVIEW LIGHTNING ROUND – Häagen-Dazs Bourbon Pecan Praline, Simple Orange with Banana, & Atkins Farmhouse-Style Sausage Scramble

Here are some quick reviews of new-ish products we’re too lazy to write full reviews for:

Ha?agen-Dazs Bourbon Pecan Praline

Item: Ha?agen-Dazs Bourbon Pecan Praline Ice Cream
Purchased Price: $3.50 (on sale)
Size: 14 oz.
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: It tastes like I could get drunk from it. Bourbon ice cream had a wonderful flavor that went well with the buttery and sweet praline pecans. Decent amount of crunchy pralines pecans. No bourbon burn, which would be weird with an ice cream. Didn’t get drunk from it.
Cons: At times, the combo of bourbon ice cream with brown sugar bourbon swirl was a bit cloying. Bourbon not listed in ingredients. Limited edition. Didn’t get drunk from it, but I did find myself making out with the container, so maybe I did.
Nutrition Facts: 1/2 cup – 280 calories, 150 calories from fat, 17 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 75 milligrams of cholesterol, 80 milligrams of sodium, 27 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 25 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.
Other reviews: Matt Hearts Ice Cream

Simple Orange with Banana

Item: Simple Orange Juice with Banana
Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: 58 fl. oz.
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: A pleasant orange juice variation. Slight banana flavor complements the orange juice. Good source of potassium. Orange juice not from concentrate. Provides 100 percent of our vitamin C.
Cons: Has only 10 milligrams more potassium than regular Simply Orange. Barely noticeable banana aroma. I wish it had a bit more banana flavor. Doesn’t come in a huge jug I can do curls with to build my biceps.
Nutrition Facts: 8 fl oz. – 120 calories, 0 calories from fat, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 0 milligrams of sodium, 460 milligrams of potassium, 28 grams of carbohydrates, 25 grams of sugar, 2 grams of protein.

Atkins Day Break Farmhouse-Style Sausage Scramble

Item: Atkins Day Break Farmhouse-Style Sausage Scramble
Purchased Price: $3.99 (on sale)
Size: 7 oz.
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Decent flavor. Sausage has a pleasant mild flavor. Looks like a lot of food before being microwaved. Makes my kitchen smell like bell peppers. Lots of sausage. Surprisingly, non-dried out eggs have flavor. Awesome source of protein. 5 grams of Atkins Net Carbs for you Atkins dieteers.
Cons: Everything shrinking dramatically after being microwaved. Some eggs were dried out. Cheese not noticeable. Awesome source of saturated fat. Pricey.
Nutrition Facts: 370 calories, 260 calories from fat, 29 grams of fat, 11 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 400 milligrams of cholesterol, 1030 milligrams of sodium, 6 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 2 grams of sugar, 22 grams of protein, 20% vitamin A, 20% calcium, 35% vitamin C, and 10% iron.

REVIEW: Magnum Gold?! and Magnum Mini Gold?! Ice Cream Bars

Magnum Gold Box

Let’s play the word association game.

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word “Magnum”? One of my friends said “guns”, but he’s from Texas, so that doesn’t count. Magnum P.I. would also be an acceptable answer, if you’re over the age of 30 or just have an appreciation of fine mustaches.

My first thought, because I am a perv, was, of course, “condoms for guys with giant penises”. Can you really blame me? Their whole marketing campaign is all about pleasure and indulgence. Magnum is easily the sexiest ice cream bar company around, if anyone was giving out awards for “Sexiest Ice Cream Bar”, which might be an awards show I’d actually watch.

I’m not talking about Magnums in general, though – I’m talking about Magnum Gold?!

As you’ve probably gathered by now, I didn’t just have an attack of surprise and disbelief, there – that interrobang was all Magnum’s doing. I checked their website. Time and time again, that ?! was present but unaddressed. It was like Magnum thought this was a perfectly normal punctuation to throw on a product name. Did nobody explain to Magnum what an interrobang indicates?!

Magnum describes their Gold?! Ice Cream Bar as “Silky vanilla bean ice cream swirled with sea salt caramel and covered in a golden coating made with Belgian Milk Chocolate.”

There is, of course, no actual gold in Magnum Gold?! ice cream bars. However, I was disappointed by the lack of shiny allure in the gold coating. It barely glimmered at all?! I’ve seen enough cake decorating shows to know that there’s edible gold out there that is shiny enough to attract raccoons from a half mile away. This was not that gold. This was more of a dull sheen.

Magnum Gold Ice Cream Bar Coating

The gold-covered milk chocolate shell tasted pretty high-quality – I’d put it at about Dove chocolate status. I’m glad the chocolate was so tasty, because there sure was a lot of it – too much, in fact. The shell was so thick it took a bit of effort to break through it, and the thickness seemed to cause excessive breakage. I guess I’d rather get a gold stain on my shirt than a chocolate stain?!

Magnum Gold Ice Cream Bar Inside

The vanilla ice cream was indeed smooth, and you could see the vanilla bean flecks in it. It played well with the chocolate shell, which is pretty much stating the obvious. Since when haven’t vanilla and chocolate gone well together?!

Unfortunately, the main feature of Magnum Gold?! (besides the Gold?! coating, of course), the sea salt caramel, was not strong enough to stand up to the richness of the chocolate shell. I could definitely see the caramel swirls, but I only got one or two bites where I could distinctly taste its flavor. Even then, the caramel flavor was pedestrian. There was nothing to distinguish it as sea salt caramel as opposed to just regular ol’ caramel?!

Magnum Mini Gold Box

Magnum Gold?! has a little brother known as Magnum Mini Gold?! I was hoping maybe the smaller version would have a thinner shell, but Mini Gold?! shared all the characteristics, good and bad, of its bigger version. The main difference was that Mini Gold?! didn’t come in a fancy gold foil wrapper, which, by the way, is about the most annoying thing in the universe to try to photograph.

Magnum Gold and Magnum Mini Gold Ice Cream Bars

Fun fact, I got a Magnum Mini Gold?! that had the “M” on the hand-side of the stick instead of “Magnum”. I thought this was just part of being a Mini, but the rest of them had “Magnum” with the heart symbol on it showing, just like the larger version. Ice cream bar blooper reel!

I’ve tried other Magnum Ice Cream Bar flavors before, and have found them to be almost too rich and decadent. While they have their shortcomings, Magnum Gold?! Ice Cream Bars, on the other hand, have a nice balance of sweet and rich, which is funny because it’s called Gold?! Get it?!

Disclosure: The author received free Magnum Gold?! and Magnum Mini Gold?! Ice Cream Bars samples from Unilever. She also received a treasure chest with a bottle of Moet & Chandon Imperial Champagne.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 bar – Magnum Gold?! Ice Cream Bar – 290 calories, 20 grams of total fat, 14 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 25 milligrams of cholesterol, 75 milligrams of sodium, 25 grams of total carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 24 grams of sugar, 3 grams of protein, 8% vitamin A, 10% calcium, and 4% iron. Magnum Mini Gold?! Ice Cream Bar – 170 calories, 12 grams of total fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 15 milligrams of cholesterol, 40 milligrams of sodium, 15 grams of total carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 14 grams of sugar, 2 grams of protein, 4% vitamin A, 6% calcium, and 2% iron.)

Other Magnum Gold?! and Magnum Mini Gold?! reviews:
On Second Scoop
Brand Eating

Item: Magnum Gold?! and Magnum Mini Gold?! Ice Cream Bars
Purchased Price: FREE
Size: 3 bars (Magnum Gold?!)
Size: 6 bars (Magnum Mini Gold?!)
Purchased at: Received from Magnum
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Quality chocolate shell. Smooth vanilla bean ice cream. Being able to eat gold. Random, unexplained interrobangs. Not overwhelmingly rich like other Magnum bars. Ice cream bar blooper reels.
Cons: Chocolate shell was too thick. Caramel was too faint and not sea-salty. Random, unexplained interrobangs. Chocolate was overwhelming other flavors. I can’t stop thinking about penises when I see the word “Magnum”.

SPOTTED ON SHELVES (INTERNATIONAL EDITION) – 4/15/2013

Here are some interesting new and limited edition products found on store shelves by your fellow readers in other countries. If you’re Canadian or British and tried any of the products, share your thoughts about them in the comments.

Hellmann's Mayonnaise with a Hint of Wasabi

Ugh! I’m disappointed the U.K. gets wasabi mayonnaise in a squeeze bottle before the U.S. does. I could really use this to help my Subway sandwiches taste better. (Spotted by Kelly at Sainsbury’s.)

Cadbury Dairy Milk with Oreo

Oh, Cadbury! What can’t you do with chocolate? (Spotted by Kelly at Sainsbury’s.)

Phileas Fogg Cool Sour Cream & Onion Mexican Style Taco Rolls

I didn’t read Around the World in Eighty Days so I didn’t know who Phileas Fogg was. I also didn’t read Journey to the Center of the Earth. I also didn’t watch any of the movie adaptations of the books. I’m sorry, Mr. Verne. (Spotted by Kelly at Sainsbury’s.)

French's Flavour Infusers

It’s kind of strange to see a bottle of French’s with French on it. I wonder if it’s equally as strange for a Canadian visitor to see a French-less French’s bottle when in the U.S. (Spotted by Darren at Calgary Co-op.)

Tetley Vanilla Bean Chai Tea

Did you know Tetley is the world second largest manufacturer and distributor of tea and Canada’s largest tea company? Well, now you do. So go impress your friends with that knowledge while sipping a cup of tea with your pinky sticking out. (Spotted by Darren at Calgary Co-op.)

Kellogg's Mini-Wheat Centres

That mascot looks either overly excited about the fruit filling or overly excited about the fiber. If it’s the fiber, I totally understand. I get that bonkers whenever I see a Fiber One product with over 40 percent of my daily fiber in it. (Spotted by Darren at Calgary Co-op.)

Thank you to all the photo contributors! If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new or limited edition product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us an email ([email protected]) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. If you do so, you might see your picture in our next Spotted on Shelves post.

SPOTTED ON SHELVES – 4/12/2013

Here are some interesting new and limited edition products found on store shelves by us and your fellow readers. If you’ve tried any of the products, share your thoughts about them in the comments.

Talenti Gelato Pops

If these are gelato pops, why is there a spoon graphic on the front of the packaging? (Spotted by Eric at Publix.)

Hormel Rev 1

Hormel Rev 2

Hormel Rev 3

Hormel Rev 4

Meat and cheese. Meat and cheese. Meat and cheese. Meat and cheese. Meat and cheese. Meat and cheese. Meat and cheese. (Spotted by Andrew at Wegmans.)

King's Hawaiian Original Sweet Bread Hot Dog Buns

Because I live in Hawaii, I’m required by state law to promote anything that has the word “Hawaiian” on it, even though the company is now located in California. (Spotted by Lauren at Walmart.)

Taipei Asian Garden

Now I know four things named Asian Garden — these frozen entrees, a Chinese restaurant, a buy-me-drinkie bar, and a late night massage parlor. (Spotted by Marvo at Safeway.)

Thank you to all the photo contributors! If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new or limited edition product on the shelf (or really unusual), snap a picture of it, and send us an email ([email protected]) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. If you do so, you might see your picture in our next Spotted on Shelves post.

REVIEW: Frito-Lay Doritos Locos Tacos Tortilla Chips (Nacho Cheese & Cool Ranch)

Doritos Locos Taco Tortilla Chips

If you’re bored right now, there’s something I’d like you to do. Go to your nearest Taco Bell to pick up Nacho Cheese and Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Tacos, then go to a store to buy the Nacho Cheese and Cool Ranch flavors of the Limited Edition Doritos Locos Tacos Tortilla Chips, then slide some of the chips into the tacos, and then let your mind be blown by the fact that you’ve just put chips that are supposed to taste like Taco Bell Doritos Locos Tacos into a Taco Bell Doritos Locos Taco.

Inchiption!

(searches internet)

Argh! Someone beat me to Inchiption!

The Doritos Locos Tacos Tortilla Chips are similar to what Doritos did with their discontinued Collisions line, taking two flavors and putting them in one bag. In this case, they paired Crunchy Taco Doritos with either Nacho Cheese or Cool Ranch Doritos. In the Frito-Lay press release, they are known as, DLT Nacho Cheese and Crunchy Taco and DLT Cool Ranch and Crunchy Taco.

So in order to get the desired flavor, you’re going to have to eat two different chips at the same time. Or bite one Taco Doritos and then take a bite of the other flavor. Or crush the contents of the bag into little pieces, shake the bag, pour the broken chips into a bowl, and eat them with a spoon.

Doritos Locos Taco Tortilla Chips Nacho Cheese In Bag

It sounds simple, but if you pick option one or two there’s a slight problem. Parent Trap. Or Chiparent Trap. Just like the twins in the movie Parent Trap, it’s hard to tell the two flavors apart, especially when looking into the bag. There were numerous occasions when I thought I pulled out a Nacho Cheese Doritos, but it ended up being the taco-flavored one, and visa versa.

Doritos Locos Taco Tortilla Chips Nacho Cheese Closeup

Doritos Locos Taco Tortilla Chips Cool Ranch Closeup

Whenever I was able to get both flavors into my mouth at the same time, by using all my strength to crush the chips, I think I persuaded my taste buds to believe I went to Taco Bell to Live Más. Each bag’s two flavors are equally balanced, but the taco seasoning tends to linger in the mouth longer. They’re both quite tasty and as addictive as Nacho Cheese or Cool Ranch Doritos. Of course, the chips don’t have the nuances of the actual tacos, like the lettuce that always falls out or the ground beef grease that soaks through the taco shell.

But overall I think both Doritos Locos Tacos Tortilla Chip varieties did the actual tacos justice, although I have to admit that these chips have more flavor than the tacos they try to recreate.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 ounce – Nacho Cheese – 140 calories, 70 calories from fat, 8 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 210 milligrams of sodium, 16 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 0 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein. Cool Ranch – 140 calories, 70 calories from fat, 8 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 210 milligrams of sodium, 16 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 0 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Item: Frito-Lay Doritos Locos Tacos Tortilla Chips (Nacho Cheese & Cool Ranch)
Purchased Price: $2.99 (on sale)
Size: 11 oz. bags
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Nacho Cheese)
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Cool Ranch)
Pros: Did the actual Taco Bell Doritos Locos Tacos justice. Have more flavor than the actual tacos. As addictive as Nacho Cheese and Cool Ranch Doritos. Wonderfully crunchy. Not the first Taco Bell labeled Doritos.
Cons: Makes your fingers messy. Hard to tell apart the two flavors in each bag. MSG-haters will not like. Not being first to use Inchiption. Trying to stuff two chips into your mouth at the same time.

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