NEWS: Wrigley’s 5 Swerve And Extra Dessert Delights Apple Pie Will Keep Your Jaw Busy This Fall

/ / Spotted on Shelves / 15 Comments

Update: Click here to read our Extra Dessert Delights Apple Pie Gum review

Update 2: Click here to read our Wrigley’s 5 Swerve review

Sometimes I wonder if Wrigley’s 5 Gum should change its name to I Thought I Told You That We Won’t Stop because the chewing gum line, which is marketed to teens, keeps expanding like my waistline has over the past seven years The Impulsive Buy has been around.

If you don’t know the 5 Gum flavors, let me fill your grey matter with a useless list that may write over some of your precious childhood memories: Cobalt, Flare, Rain, Elixir, Lush, Solstice, Zing, React Fruit, React Mint, Prism, Vortex, React 2 Fruit, and React 2 Mint. Oh wait, let me write over your memory of your first kiss with the next 5 Gum flavor, a tropical one called Swerve.

When Swerve becomes available later this year, it will be the second tropical flavor in the 5 Gum line, following Lush.

Also later this year, Wrigley will be adding Apple Pie to its portfolio of Extra Dessert Delights sugarfree gum. The flavor follows Strawberry Shortcake, Mint Chocolate Chip, Key Lime Pie, and Orange Creme Pop.

Come on, Wrigley! Stop ruining desserts for me! If I want to eat poor representations of desserts I’ll go to McDonald’s or make the desserts myself.

Both sugarfree gum flavors will come in the usual 15-piece slim pack.

REVIEW: McDonald’s “New” Chicken McNuggets Sauces (Creamy Ranch, Honey Mustard, Spicy Buffalo, and Sweet Chili)

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"New" Chicken McNuggets Sauces (Creamy Ranch, Honey Mustard, Spicy Buffalo, and Sweet Chili)

McDonald’s didn’t put much effort into creating their “new” Chicken McNugget sauces, because they’re mostly the same dipping sauces from their Chicken Selects Premium Breast Strips line. Since they’re not putting much effort into their sauces, I’m not going to put much effort into this review of their sauces.

How much work am I going to put into reviewing these sauces? Significantly less than what I put into playing this McNuggets dipping sauce memory game that McDonald’s is using to promote the sauces on their website.

By the way, my high score was 712 points.

For starters, to show how little effort I’m going to put into this review, I’m just going to list all the “new” flavors, but not take the time to put them in alphabetical order: Spicy Buffalo, Honey Mustard, Sweet Chili, and Creamy Ranch. Then, I’m just going to link to my Sweet Chili sauce review from last year and then not mention Sweet Chili anymore.

I’m also going to link to my my Chicken Selects review from 2004 which included my thoughts on the Spicy Buffalo sauce. Although, the sauce might’ve changed over the years, so I will say the “new” Spicy Buffalo sauce was tasty, spicy, and orange. It tasted like other buffalo sauces I’ve had, but it had a bit more kick than my beloved Hot Mustard Sauce and it was definitely my favorite of the four “new” flavors.

Geez, that was more effort than I wanted to exert for the Spicy Buffalo Sauce. I’ll do better with the last two sauces.

"New" Chicken McNuggets Sauces Upskirt (Creamy Ranch, Honey Mustard, Spicy Buffalo, and Sweet Chili)

Honey Mustard tasted like a sweet weak dijon mustard and Creamy Ranch tasted like the salad dressing you’d find in the middle of a barely-touched vegetable platter at a barbeque.

How’s that for little effort?

Overall, McDonald’s “new” Chicken McNuggets Sauces range from decent to good, but none of them can compete with my beloved Hot Mustard Sauce. Besides that, it’s hard to get excited about sauces that we could’ve dipped our McNuggets into for years if we either asked nicely, paid 10 to 20 cents, or flirted with the right cashier for the McDonald’s Chicken Selects sauces.

(Nutrition Facts – Not available at McDonald’s website or I didn’t want to put any effort into finding out what they are.)

Item: McDonald’s “New” Chicken McNuggets Sauces (Creamy Ranch, Honey Mustard, Spicy Buffalo, and Sweet Chili)
Price: 2 Free With 10 Pc. McNuggets, 30 Cents For Each Extra
Size: 1 ounce
Purchased at: McDonald’s
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Creamy Ranch)
Rating: 5 out of 10 (Honey Mustard)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Spicy Buffalo)
Rating: 4 out of 10 (Sweet Chili)
Pros: More sauces for you to choose from. Spicy Buffalo had good flavor and a decent kick. Hot Mustard Sauce. Flirting with McDonald’s employees to get Chicken Selects sauces.
Cons: McDonald’s didn’t put much effort into the “new” sauces. Sweet Chili sauce is still mediocre. Honey Mustard tasted like a sweet weak dijon mustard. McDonald’s calling these sauces “new.” Not putting much effort into this review.

NEWS: Cocoa Puffs Brownie Crunch Cereal Might Make Me Go Cuckoo For It

/ / Spotted on Shelves / 9 Comments

Update: Click here to read our Cocoa Puffs Brownie Crunch review

I’ve gone cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, but after going cuckoo too many times, I just don’t get a rise from eating a bowl of it. Not even the chocolatey milk the cereal leaves behind or crushing the cereal into a fine powder and snorting it using a rolled up 75 cents off Cocoa Puffs coupon gets me to go cuckoo.

However, it looks like I might be riding the cocoa cobra again because General Mills has introduced a new Cocoa Puffs variety — Brownie Crunch Cocoa Puffs. The cereal doesn’t have any puffs, instead it’s made up of naturally and artificially flavored sweetened chocolatey squares.

A 3/4 cup serving has 110 calories, 1.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 130 milligrams of sodium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 9 grams of sugar, 2 grams of protein, and a bunch of vitamins and minerals.

REVIEW: Wendy’s Berry Almond Chicken Salad

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Wendy's Berry Almond Chicken Salad

Upon hearing about the subject of my latest review, a friend said to me, “fast food salad = irony.” I didn’t know how to react to that because, despite my zealotry for good grammar, I still have no sense as to when something is actually ironic. All I know is, A) every time I use the word irony, someone is sure to tell me I’m wrong, and B) calling something ironic and calling someone Hitler are somehow equally effective at starting internet comment board flame wars.

So is it ironic that a fast food place makes salads? Would it be ironic for a fast food place to make a really good salad? What if the fast food place were called “We Make Terrible Salads”? And all they played for background music were Alanis Morissette songs, but never “Ironic”?

I don’t know the answer to any of these questions, but I do know that Wendy’s new Berry Almond Chicken Salad is absolutely delicious. I recently ordered the full-size salad for lunch. A pre-made serving of greens and berries had been sitting in the fridge in the back, but the chicken was freshly cut and added, and I received the almonds and dressing in separate packages.

Wendy's Berry Almond Chicken Salad Dressing

As you can see from the photo, the salad included hearty servings of strawberries and blueberries, and the fruits’ texture and color suggested that they were fresh and never frozen. The greens were crisp and seemed to have a solid assortment, though I have no idea if there were truly 11 varieties, as the Wendy’s website claims. Asking me to pick out a dozen types of greens is like asking me to name a dozen Alanis Morissette songs. (Actually, I might be able to do that. It’s more like asking me to name a dozen Alanis Morissette ex-boyfriends. Ryan Reynolds, Uncle Joey from Full House… you know what, let’s just say I can’t name that many greens, OK?)

The warm and appropriately-sized chicken wedges were juicy and flavorful, which was to be expected since the chicken was just a diced up breast from one of Wendy’s regularly tasty chicken sandwiches. The asiago cheese shavings added some sharpness without being overpowering, and the almonds contributed much-needed crunch and a subtle nuttiness to the salad. I thought the only thing that didn’t really work was the raspberry vinaigrette; it wasn’t tart enough to bring a new taste dimension to the table, and its sweetness just sort of distracted my attention from the real stars, the strawberries and blueberries.

Another complaint: the salad container was packed to the brim, and I imagine most people will have a very difficult time tossing this salad without spilling anything. Also, by not addressing this salad-tossing problem and thereby compelling me to mention it, Wendy’s has forced me to use a lot of self-restraint in not making any salad-tossing jokes. Luckily, I’ve managed to get to this paragraph’s back end without any slips of my tongue. (…goddammit.)

On the positive side again, the Berry Almond Chicken Salad contains only 450 calories and 16 grams of fat. $6.99 might feel pretty expensive for any item on a fast food menu, but it is tasty and filling enough to be worth the price. I would definitely recommend you go out and try it. And if a normally salad-phobic, fast-food-burger-loving guy strongly recommending a fast food salad isn’t ironic, then I don’t know what is. (No, but seriously. I really have to figure this irony thing out.)

(Nutrition Facts – Full size – 450 calories, 150 calories from fat, 16 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 95 milligrams of cholesterol, 1300 milligrams of sodium, 42 grams of carbohydrates, 7 grams of fiber, 31 grams of sugar, 38 grams of protein, 80% vitamin A, 70% vitamin C, 30% calcium, and 15% iron.)

Item: Wendy’s Berry Almond Chicken Salad
Price: $6.99
Size: Full size
Purchased at: Wendy’s
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Lots of fresh strawberries and blueberries. Crisp and varied greens. Chicken was warm, juicy, and flavorful. Asiago cheese added sharpness and almonds added crunch. Only 450 calories and 16 grams of fat. Alanis Morissette’s “You Oughta Know” was about Uncle Joey.
Cons: Raspberry vinaigrette didn’t really work. Pretty pricey. Salad was hard to toss. I have no self-restraint. Not understanding irony. Comment board flame wars.

NEWS: Limited Edition Pebbles Boulders Have More Whole Grains And Colors Than Honey Nut Cheerios

/ / Spotted on Shelves / 3 Comments

Update: Click here to read our Post Limited Edition Pebbles Boulders review

I wonder if kids nowadays know Fred Flintstone as the main character of a 1960s cartoon or as the fatso on the front of Pebbles cereals boxes? I’d find out myself by producing some children of my own, but I thought it would be faster, cheaper, and less poop-filled to just ask those who already have young children.

The reason why I bring Mr. Flintstone up is because his mug is on another Pebbles cereal. This time it’s the Limited Edition Caramel Apple Pebbles Boulders, which consists of two types of cereal — brown, caramel-flavored, boulder-shaped cereal and green, apple-flavored, bone-shaped cereal.

Limited Edition Caramel Apple Pebbles Boulders boasts it has more whole grain than Honey Nut Cheerios. So does that mean it may also help lower cholesterol like Honey Nut Cheerios?

A 3/4 cup serving of Pebbles Boulders without milk has 110 calories, 10 calories from fat, 1.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 75 milligrams of sodium, 50 milligrams of potassium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 8 grams of sugar, 12 grams of other carbohydrates, and is fortified with a bunch of vitamins and minerals.

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