REVIEW: Monster Viking Berry Energy Juice

When I first learned about Monster Energy’s Viking Berry Energy Juice, I thought “Viking berry” was a weird name for a fruit. But after commanding Siri to do some light research for me, like an unpaid intern, I learned that the fruit has an even more unusual but totally unmarketable name for a food product — chokeberries.

According to Wikipedia, “The name ‘chokeberry’ comes from the astringency of the fruits, which create the sensation of making one’s mouth pucker.” Sadly, that is a disappointing and boring explanation of its name, which creates the sensation of making one’s mouth yawn.

Why couldn’t the reason for its name be something dark, chilling, and worthy of a Netflix documentary? For example, the fruit was responsible for the deaths of many sailors at sea when it was used as ammunition by Viking slingshot snipers who targeted the mouths of their enemies.

But after all that reading and Siri-ing, I’m confused about whether or not this contains Viking berries. The ingredients list mentions a trio of B-berry juices – black currant, blackberry, and bilberry – but no chokeberries. Not even the can’s copy says anything definite. Instead, the following is printed: “Inspired by Wild Nordic berries and Scandinavian fruit, Viking Berry blends real fruit juices and exotic flavors for a whole new taste experience.”

“Whole new taste experience,” eh?

Well, a distinct pattern of neurons in my brain started firing when I took a sip of this. But I can’t quite figure out why it tastes so familiar. While it’s not a whole new taste experience to me, it is in the Monster Juice line because almost all the new flavors over the past decade have been tropical flavored.

The red-ish purple Viking Berry Energy Juice has a mixed berry aroma and taste that leans towards blueberry and maybe red raspberry. Much like chokeberries, I’ve never had bilberries, so I wouldn’t know one even if it was shot down my throat by a slingshot sniper. It starts off a bit tart but has a sweeter finish. However, it’s not sour enough to create the sensation of making one’s mouth pucker. It is tasty enough that I see this being a repeat purchase. Although, I can’t say I enjoy it more than some of the tropical Monster Energy Juice varieties.

Something else that came to mind while drinking this is that it has a Monster Ultra vibe to it. I might be the only one who thinks this, but even though there’s sugar in this (and some sucralose), I could confuse its flavor for a zero sugar Monster Ultra.

Monster Viking Berry Energy Juice may not contain actual chokeberries, but it has 160 milligrams of sweet, sweet caffeine and a berry delicious taste.

Purchased Price: $2.59
Size: 16 fl oz can
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 200 calories, 0 grams of fat, 200 milligrams of sodium, 52 grams of carbohydrates, 49 grams of sugar (including 47 grams of added sugar), 0 grams of protein, and 160 milligrams of caffeine.

REVIEW: Limited Edition Aqua Blast Gatorade

As soon as I saw the bottle, I was hooked by the 80s retro yet somehow modern vibes. A bit of vaporwave never hurt anyone!

I wanted to go into this review blind, so to speak, so I avoided looking up what flavor it was supposed to be. If the aqua and purple were any indication, maybe grape? Blue raspberry? Dragonfruit?

Bzzztt! Wrong!

Upon opening the bottle, I was immediately hit with that sort of tangy, sharp-yet-sweet scent I usually associate with tropical fruit-flavored candy. Pouring some into a glass, the aqua hue mimics the exterior wrap on the bottle. Very neon, very aqua.

Having had a lot of Gatorade, I expected it to smell a lot stronger than it tasted, and it didn’t disappoint in that regard. The flavor is very much a sort of toned down pineapple gummy bear with a hint of something else, something I couldn’t quite put my finger on, all wrapped in that sort of salty background note that electrolyte-enhanced beverages all have in common.

I took a few more sips and decided the flavor was probably a very pineapple-forward tropical fruit. Then I Googled and found out it was supposedly pineapple mango. I have to admit, I really don’t taste mango at all. Just a vague hint of something tropical beyond the pineapple. You could have told me it was pineapple guava or pineapple papaya, and I wouldn’t have doubted it.

In conclusion, it’s not bad. If Gatorade is your jam, you’ll probably like this one, especially if you like artificial pineapple-flavored things.

Purchased Price: $1.72
Size: 28 fl oz bottle
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: Per Serving: 80 calories, 0 grams of total fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 gram of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 160 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of total carbs, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 21 grams of total sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Pepsi Wild Cherry & Cream

In 2024, we saw Coke discontinue its Cherry Vanilla flavor, and perhaps sensing this void in the market or wanting to get in on the dirty soda trend, Pepsi is starting the new year by introducing a new permanent flavor, Wild Cherry & Cream. I’ve always been more of a Coke person if I’m going to choose a cola, but I enjoy Wild Cherry Pepsi, so I was curious to see how it would fare when given the soda shop addition of a creamy vanilla twist.

Opening the bottle, I got those familiar, slightly spicy scents of Pepsi with a cherry hint. The cream wasn’t immediately obvious, and after a few sips, I still found it to be not very pronounced. It rounds things out on the back end of a swig, but it isn’t a strong cream soda flavor. The wild cherry is similarly kind of tame here, being more mild than in your face. I think “wild cherry” in the soda flavor world is just a way to make “cherry” sound more exciting and not necessarily a nuanced flavor based on certain cherry varieties, but I wish these cherries were bringing more exuberance to the party. C’mon, cherries, knock over a lamp or something. Spill some more cream in the communal pitcher of Pepsi.

I wish these flavors were a bit more amped, but that isn’t to say this drink is bad. In fact, it’s quite good. These are classic tastes, and they work together in harmony. I enjoy that the cherry and cream aspects obscure some of the things I don’t always love about Pepsi to begin with. It’s sweet and the cherry brings to mind candy, but I don’t find it too sweet in the way I sometimes do an original Pepsi.

This drink could work alongside a meal, at the movies with popcorn, or by itself. The flavor combo isn’t groundbreaking, but it is solid. If you’re a Pepsi fan, I could see this becoming your new favorite. If you hate Pepsi, I could see you not refusing this and perhaps even admitting that it doesn’t suck.

While Wild Cherry & Cream is currently available in cans and bottles, the bottles are only for a limited time. Also worth noting, I tried the zero sugar variety and it does not hit the same pleasant notes for me. Pepsi drinkers, rejoice in your new blend of old favorites! Everyone else, opt for full sugar if you’re going out on a limb and giving this a try. It may not be wildly innovative, but it’s a worthy addition to the Pepsi lineup.

Purchased Price: $2.49
Size: 20 fl oz bottle
Purchased at: I received a free bottle from Jewel-Osco and purchased a bottle of zero sugar, also from Jewel-Osco
Rating: 8 out of 10 (regular), 4 out of 10 (zero sugar)
Nutrition Facts: (1 bottle regular) 260 calories, 0 grams of total fat, 55 milligrams of sodium, 69 grams of total carbs, 69 grams of total sugars, and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Starbucks Bottled Paradise Drink and Pink Drink

Starbucks’ popular Pink Drink and Paradise Drink are the latest beverages to be bottled and sold on shelves. As a fan of both, I was excited to give them a try to find out how they stack up to those made by a barista.

Both ready-to-drink beverages have less than 5 milligrams of caffeine per 12-ounce bottle, which is a fraction of the 35-45 milligrams in the Tall-sized (12 ounces) versions offered at Starbucks locations. Not sure why, but it’s worth a note.

Paradise Drink is the latest addition to the Refreshers menu (June 2022). I wasn’t shocked to see it get the bottled treatment this quickly because when it hit locations last year, it was selling like crazy as it captured a “summer in a cup” flavor thanks to its use of pineapple and passion fruit. I generally enjoyed the drink when I got it in the cafes but found the pineapple overpowering. I know the freeze dried fruit chunks contributed to that, but even trying the drink without them, I sometimes found the pineapple to be a little too much. Thankfully, the bottled version offers a much more balanced experience.

Getting a taste of the passion fruit made for a more complex flavor as opposed to the cafe version that made my tongue feel like it was being slapped by a pineapple. It’s not overly sweet and has a nice tartness. The coconut milk cuts down on the drink’s acidity and makes for a smoother sipping experience. It’s enjoyable straight from a chilled bottle and certainly is “summer in a bottle.”

It was only a matter of time before Starbucks would release a ready-to-drink version of its famous Pink Drink. Hundreds of TikTok videos swear by their copycat recipes, but none have ever really scratched the itch. Thankfully, this bottled Pink Drink is a dead ringer for the cafe version. The taste of the sweet strawberry is very present, with the coconut milk bringing a slight nutty creaminess. I know there is supposed to be acai, but it is overshadowed by the intense strawberry flavors, just like the cafe version. Unlike the Paradise Drink, I found this much more concentrated with its taste and quite a bit sweeter.

It was fine straight from the bottle but shined when poured over ice, and doing so allowed for the more concentrated flavors to mellow. Much like the Paradise Drink, the lack of freeze dried fruit didn’t take away from the experience or taste. It will be worth keeping some on hand to bridge the gap between Starbucks visits. I enjoyed it, and I think it will be fairly popular.

Purchased Price: $3.18 each
Purchased at: Walmart Neighborhood Market
Rating: 9 out of 10 (Paradise Drink), 9 out of 10 (Pink Drink)
Nutrition Facts: (1 bottle) Paradise Drink – 150 calories, 2.5 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 15 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 29 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein. Pink Drink – 150 calories, 2 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 15 milligrams of sodium, 31 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 30 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Snapple Elements (2022)

Snapple Elements  2022 Bottles

What are Snapple Elements?

First launched in 1999 and discontinued in the mid-2000s, the Snapple Elements line associated inventive fruit flavors with natural phenomena. Snapple has re-launched the line starting with three flavors: Fire (dragon fruit), Rain (agave cactus), and Air (prickly pear and peach white tea).

Now with updated formulas, Snapple Elements contain no artificial sweeteners and 45% less sugar than other Snapple varieties.

How are they?

If you loved Snapple Elements enough to buy one of the original curvy glass bottles on eBay or sign an online petition begging for their return, this review is for you. Although my memories of the line are not clear enough to compare the old and new formulas, I’m here to report my experience, unclouded by a nostalgic haze. If only your Tamagotchi were alive to see this!

Snapple Elements  2022 Fire

The ruby red Fire variety achieves its dragon fruit flavor through a mixture of pear and grape juice concentrates and natural flavors. While dragon fruit is a mild flavor that is difficult to get right, Fire gets it pretty close. It tastes like sweet pear enriched with subtle floral notes.

Snapple Elements  2022 Rain

Rain’s agave cactus flavor was most intriguing. I associate cactus flavor with prickly pear flavor, sometimes with a hint of sourness, and the drink delivers shades of this expectation. It tastes like watered-down white grape juice (which does not appear in the ingredients list) mixed with mild pear and agave (which do). A subtle ribbon of tartness runs through the drink, and the agave’s flavor smoothes it out. The flavor is pleasantly light, refreshing, and subtle in a way that reminds me of drinking coconut water or aloe water. Rain was definitely the most unique drinking experience of the three flavors, and approaching it with an open mind and nebulous expectations made it easy to enjoy.

Snapple Elements  2022 Air

Finally, Air promises prickly pear and peach white tea flavors. Ironically, it is the only variety of the three not to contain pear juice or even much pear flavor. Its ingredients (white tea, acerola fruit extract, and natural flavors) contribute to a mellow peachy flavor paired with the crispness of white tea.

Although each contains a decent amount of added sugar, all varieties taste light, refreshing, and highly palatable. I would choose any one of them over Snapple’s current juice offerings, which (despite my affinity for Kiwi Strawberry) I find too sweet to finish in one sitting.

Anything else you need to know?

I struggled to locate all three varieties in my area, so stock up if you find your favorite. Also, although Snapple has swapped its iconic glass bottles for plastic, the Snapple facts printed beneath the caps live on. Did you know that humans can encourage precipitation with cloud seeding? Diploma, please!

Conclusion:

Snapple Elements  2022 Glasses

All three Snapple Elements flavors provide light, refreshing flavor experiences which are exciting contributions to the brand’s current line-up. Nostalgia aside, I hope the Elements line expands.

Purchased Price: $1.39 (Target) and $7.99 (Amazon)
Size: 15.9 fl oz bottles
Purchased at: Target (Fire and Rain) and Amazon (Air)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Fire), 8 out of 10 (Rain), 7 out of 10 (Air)
Nutrition Facts: (1 bottle) Fire – 110 calories, 0 grams of fat, 10 milligrams of sodium, 26 grams of carbohydrates, 25 grams of sugar (including 20 grams added sugars) , and 0 grams of protein. Rain – 110 calories, 0 grams of fat, 10 milligrams of sodium, 25 grams of carbohydrates, 25 grams of sugar (including 19 grams added sugars), and 0 grams of protein. Air – 110 calories, 0 grams of fat, 10 milligrams of sodium, 25 grams of carbohydrates, 25 grams of sugar (including 25 grams added sugars), and 0 grams of protein.

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