REVIEW: Cap’n Crunch’s Cotton Candy Crunch Cereal

Cap n Crunch s Cotton Candy Crunch Cereal

Cap’n Crunch’s Cotton Candy Crunch Cereal is a mystery to me, and a tongue twister.

After peeling open the box, my nostrils got a whiff of cotton candy that made me curse the bag in my way I had to open to get to that sweet cotton candy flavor in cereal form. But when I opened the bag and tried to Hoover a stronger scent up my nose, all I got was a dull sweet smell that doesn’t make me think of carnivals, fairs, and birthday parties for kids whose parents were richer than mine.

What’s even more disappointing is, when I eat it dry or wet, cotton candy flavor isn’t something I get. Instead, I taste something I’d consider to be Diet Crunchberries, which is a very light berry-like flavor that doesn’t make me think of Ferris wheels, games designed to be almost impossible to win, or rides that aren’t as scary as the natural disasters they’re named after, like Typhoon, Hurricane, and Tornado.

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It’s not entirely devoid of anything that tastes like those sugary clouds. There are moments, after finishing a bowl, that my taste buds will register something they consider to be “cotton candy.” But it’s fleeting and several minutes past when the flavor should’ve been there.

I expected it to be as if someone bigger and stronger than me used my body as a cotton candy stick and twirled me around the cotton candy maker, wrapping the sugar treat around my head. And when I’m pulled out, I look like a troll doll eating its hair. Sure, it’s a lofty ideal, but I’ve eaten half the box and I’ve experienced nothing that’s even a fraction of that.

Cap’n Crunch’s Cotton Candy Crunch Cereal confuses me. It also taunts me. Every time I pass by the box sitting on my kitchen counter, I can smell that familiar aroma of spun sugar. It’s as if the smell is the cereal’s way of saying to me, “I promise I’ll taste like cotton candy this time.”

But when I give in by opening the bag, it’s a different smell, and when I give in some more by crunching my way through another bowl, I don’t get any cotton candy flavor. Am I imagining the aroma? Am I going crazy? Am I in the Twilight Zone?

Purchased Price: $3.00 (on sale)
Size: 11.4 oz. box
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 1/4 cup – cereal only) 150 calories, 1.5 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 170 milligrams of sodium, 33 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 17 grams of sugar, 1 gram of sugar alcohol, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Cap’n Crunch’s Chocolate Berry Crunch Cereal

Limited Edition Cap n Crunch s Chocolatey Berry Crunch Cereal

What is Cap’n Crunch’s Chocolate Berry Crunch?

It’s Cap’n Crunch’s newest creation and ode to Valentine’s Day – Chocolate Berry Crunch. According to the box, this cereal is “decadence – if you like the taste of chocolate – Love. This. Crunch.” Combining the Cap’n’s classic red crunch berries with a choco-fied version of his usual yellow lined rectangles, this is a cereal that wants to lure you seductively into its milky bowl.

How is it?

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Truth be told it’s not nearly as sexy as the Cap’n wants us to think, but it’s also far from bad. The leading flavor is the very familiar nondescript fruit and sugary pop of red crunch berries, which comes along with a solid fluffy yet firm texture that soaks pretty easily in milk.

The chocolate pieces seem to be outweighed by the berries at around a 1-to-3 ratio, being much less dominant in most bites. The pieces themselves carry a mild cocoa flavor without any bitterness or sharp notes like in Cocoa Puffs. A little chocolate comes through the berry-forward mix, but even on spoonfuls of mostly crunchy rectangles, the chocolate is gentle, almost to a fault.

Is there anything else you need to know?

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The chocolate pieces stay firmer and soak up less milk than the berries, which towards the bottom of the bowl creates an interesting textural contrast. I also noticed that the leftover dairy carried a more chocolaty flavor than most of the eating experience, which made for a nice finish.

Conclusion:

This is a tasty cereal that falls right in line with the things most people love and expect from Cap’n Crunch, but it isn’t anything super new or groundbreaking you need to rush out and get before some new version of the Cap lines the shelves.

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 12.5 oz. box
Purchased at:
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (3/4 cup) 100 calories, 1 gram of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 160 milligrams of sodium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 0grams of fiber, 11 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.

QUICK REVIEW: Limited Edition Cap’n Crunch’s Beach Bash Crunch Cereal

Limited Edition Cap n Crunch s Beach Bash Crunch Cereal

What is it?

As sad as it is to say, eating a bowl of Cap’n Crunch’s Beach Bash Cereal is as close as I’m going to get to actually going to the beach this summer.

Jokes about my current status as a dirt-poor student aside, Cap’n Crunch’s Beach Bash is Quaker’s newest nautical adventure, and combines beach-themed crunch pieces with magical milk-color-changing-sorcery to bring the ocean to your breakfast table!

How is it?

Visually, Beach Bash is about what you’d expect for a beach-themed cereal. Eighty percent of the pieces are standard Cap’n Crunch squares, which happen to look like water wings. The other 20 percent are shaped like stereotypical beach stuff — starfish, floaties, and sharks.

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Taste-wise, it’s Cap’n Crunch. Sweet, crunchy, slightly corn-y, and not much to write home about on its own. If you like regular Cap’n Crunch, then you’ll probably like this, because this doesn’t taste any different.

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The real fun happens after you pour milk into your bowl. Beach Bash has the same milk color-changing technology featured in Halloween Crunch, and uses it here to make your boring old milk turn into an entire miniature ocean! Call me simple-minded, but I like to play with my food, and there’s something about chasing cereal-sharks around a little cereal bowl ocean with my spoon that I find to be both really fun and oddly satisfying.

Is there anything else I need to know?

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Since the cereal has to soak for a couple of minutes in order to make the milk change color, Beach Bash’s quality is contingent on its ability to not instantly turn into mushy cereal-gruel after getting wet. Luckily, this IS Cap’n Crunch that we’re talking about here, so milk viability isn’t an issue. The cereal in my bowl remained pleasantly crunchy after ten minutes of soaking, which was more than enough time for my milk to turn bright blue.

Conclusion:

While I probably won’t make a special trip out to the one Walmart in my area that has this to buy it again, I’d say Cap’n Crunch’s Beach Bash is worth trying, even if it’s only for the novelty factor.

Purchased Price: $2.98
Size: 20.3 oz. box
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (3/4 cup) 100 calories, 15 calories from fat, 1.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 190 milligrams of sodium, 40 milligrams of potassium, 22 grams of total carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, 11 grams of total sugars, 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Limited Edition Cap’n Crunch’s Blueberry Pancake Crunch Cereal

Limited Edition Cap'n Crunch's Blueberry Pancake Crunch Cereal

I have fond childhood memories of the Cap’n, but like many childhood heroes, he’s faded into irrelevance for the adult me. But, Quaker Oat’s latest innovation, Cap’n Crunch’s Blueberry Pancake Crunch drops the Cap’n right back into my consideration set! I should’ve guessed that this limited edition cereal would be delicious because there was only one left on the shelf. It was a lone box nestled all the way in the back, so I had to contort myself to even reach it.

The age-old debate: do you pour milk or cereal first? If you answered milk, you’re a monster. My vote is always cereal first, so you can taste the cereal in its untainted form. Plus, you have better control of the milk to cereal ratio. Tangent aside – as I poured the cereal out, pretty teal blue and cream corn/oat cereal orbs tumbled out. The pretty teal orbs reminded me of little Saturns; maybe the Cap’n is at the helm of a new spaceship because this cereal is out of this world. Ha – get it? Too much? Fine.

To complement the pretty coloring (yay, blue 1), there was a rich, sweet syrupy smell. No, not like the finest Canadian maple syrup, but more like Aunt Jemima high fructose corn syrup syrup. I say that in the most endearing, nostalgic way possible. I grew up with Aunt Jemima and kid-me loved that syrup. But, we all know, Aunt Jemima doesn’t have anything on Canadian maple syrup. So, if this nostalgia factor doesn’t resonate with you, I could see how this artificial smell would be off-putting.

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I proceeded to try each of the three orbs by themselves. First up was the teal blue one – it didn’t register until the aftertaste that this was supposed to be the blueberry. The initial taste was very much a generic, sugary cereal. I was worried that once these hit milk, it would dye the milk blue and it would be like drinking liquidated Smurfs. Yuck.

The next up was the semi-teal orbs – these looked like an accident, like the teal orbs brushed up on the cream ones and transferred some color. But, the box does show various shades of teal so maybe it’s intentional. It did, though, have a slightly different aftertaste. I imagined this is the equivalent of a blueberry buried in the pancake batter.

The final orb was the cream colored one. I was guessing this was supposed to be the pancake part of it. It just tasted sweet, nothing to write home about.

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Then, I ate them all together. I liked the subtle complexity of the cereal. Don’t get me wrong, the Blueberry Pancake Crunch clearly isn’t some fantastic molecular gastronomy or anything. Heck, if you blindfolded me, I probably would have a 50 percent chance of guessing that it was blueberry pancake-flavored.

If you add milk, it decreases my chances of guessing to about 5 percent. The milk somehow really washes out the flavor instead of enhancing it like I hoped. I was glad that the teal didn’t come off and dye the milk blue, though! But, honestly for a $3 box of sweetened corn and oat, I’m not complaining.

By the way, National Blueberry Pancake Day was on January 28th so pick up a box and have a belated celebration with me!

(Nutrition Facts – 1 Cup – 110 calories, 10 calories from fat, 1 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 125 milligrams of sodium, 24 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, 13 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein..)

Purchased Price: $2.98
Size: 15.4 oz. box
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Making the cap’n relevant again! No liquidated smurfs (a.k.a blue milk). Pretty teal orbs.
Cons: High Fructose Corn Syrup smell can be off-putting for some. Eating it with milk (which is the whole point of cereal) really washes out the flavors.