REVIEW: Cinnamon Toast Crunch Creamy Cinnamon Spread

Cinnamon Toast Crunch Creamy Cinnamon Spread Jar

According to the Cinnamon Toast Crunch Creamy Cinnamon Spread’s jar, it’s a product of Greece. But after touching the jar, pulling back the foil lid, and trying to keep the tan condiment on a butter knife, I began to wonder if it’s also a product of grease.

Before getting a chance to sample the spread, my first experience with the CTC spread was wondering why my fingers felt as if I’d just eaten pizza after touching the unopened glass jar. After inspecting the screw-on plastic lid and foil safety seal, it appears there wasn’t any leakage. But when I tried to remove the foil seal, only the golden top layer peeled away, leaving behind a fragile paper layer that broke into pieces as I attempted to remove it. I suspect this happened because the sample I received from B&G Foods was transported on its side, and the oils in the spread partially penetrated the foil seal.

As for the spread itself, it’s goopy, has an aroma that makes me wonder if I should stick a wick in it, and comes in a color that a paint brand might call “Camel Hump Tan.” Well, I’m used to goopy because the Smuckers Natural Peanut Butter I use slides off the knife as easily as this CTC spread does. Its ingredients include canola and palm oils, which might explain this cinnamon condiment’s viscosity and oiliness.

While it’s goopy and smells a little off, its flavor is surprisingly delicious. Along with being a product of Greece, the jar also says it “delivers the epic taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch with notes of brown sugar and graham flavor.” However, it doesn’t have me thinking this is a Cinnamon Toast Crunch-flavored slurry. But it does taste like something as tasty as the cereal — cinnamon rolls. Well, more specifically, the sweet stuff within the cinnamon rolls’ rolls. You know, the best part. There’s also a noticeable brown sugar flavor (which makes sense since it’s the spread’s first ingredient), but I didn’t get any graham notes.

Cinnamon Toast Crunch Creamy Cinnamon Spread Toast

I spread it on bread, dipped pears into it, and swirled it in my overnight oats. With every application, I got a bold and wonderful cinnamon roll-like flavor. If I had the inclination and ability to bake up a batch of cinnamon rolls, I’d use this instead of the standard icing. Overall, its taste makes up for it being as slippery as a greasy pig.

DISCLOSURE: I received a free product sample from B&G Foods. Doing so did not influence my review.

Purchased Price: FREE
Size: 10 oz jar
Purchased at: Received from B&G Foods
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 tbsp/30 grams) 160 calories, 9 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 75 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 18 grams of sugar (16 grams of added sugar), and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Boar’s Head Apple Pie Dessert Hummus

Boar s Head Apple Pie Dessert Hummus Tub

What is Boar’s Head Apple Pie Dessert Hummus?

For some reason, and I don’t know why this happened, someone at Boar’s Head decided that apple pie and hummus belonged together. Weirdly, they were right.

How is it?

Boar s Head Apple Pie Dessert Hummus Top

This hummus does its job of mimicking apple pie a little too well. I was expecting a vague apple flavor and tons of sugary sweetness, but it’s more complex than that. The flavor actually tastes like the syrup-soaked pieces of piecrust that you get in the bottom of a dish of any halfway decent pie, also known as “the best part.” I was expecting them to go heavy on the apple, and instead they went all-in on the crust. The usual chickpea flavor of hummus was barely even discernable.

This left me in a weird kind of dessert purgatory, because even though the flavor evoked pie, the grainy hummus texture did not. My mouth kept looking for the tactile feeling of a crisp and buttery pie shell, and obviously I didn’t get it. After polishing off a full serving of the hummus, I was ready to run out to the store and buy myself a real apple pie…which I could then cover in this apple pie hummus, forming a kind of pie-ception. Yeah, that’s definitely going to happen.

Boar s Head Apple Pie Dessert Hummus Cookie

I tried to mitigate the problem by adding more texture. After eating the hummus alone, I spread some of it on one of the Stella D’Oro Margherite cookies I always keep on hand. It was enjoyable, but the texture of the cookie wasn’t enough like pie to solve the problem. The prospect of trying to match the hummus with different kinds of cookies is appealing, however.

Anything else you need to know?

Boar’s Head also puts out a dark chocolate hummus, which is probably the better flavor because chocolate comes in all kinds of different textures already. I had the chocolate variety about a year ago and was impressed with just how chocolatey it was, so I really shouldn’t have been surprised at how much this hummus tasted like its namesake.

Conclusion:

If you’re curious about dessert hummus and/or are looking for some kind of sweet spread, both this and the chocolate variety are solid buys that will satisfy a sugar craving. But if you want pie – and I mean if there’s even a snowball’s chance in hell that you might ever, at some conceivable point, want an apple pie – buy the apple pie. As for me, I’m going to buy a giant Dutch apple pie tomorrow and send Boar’s Head an invoice.

Purchased Price: $5.99
Size: 8 oz
Purchased at: King Kullen
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 Tbsp) 60 calories, 2 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 70 milligrams of sodium, 9 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 5 grams of sugar (5 grams of added sugar), and 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Heinz Honeyracha and Mayoracha Saucy Sauces

Heinz Honeyracha and Mayoracha Saucy Sauces

Heinz, who seems to produce every condiment under the sun, doesn’t sell its own sriracha.

However, for years, the company has offered ketchup tinged with the hot sauce, which I think is mediocre. Of course, the sriracha of choice for me and every pho restaurant I’ve been to is the one from Huy Fong that’s also called, “Rooster Sauce.” Its dominance is probably the reason why Heinz doesn’t have sriracha. Even if it did, my loyalty to Rooster Sauce would never waver. Cock-a-doodle-doo!

However, Heinz Honeyracha and Mayoracha Saucy Sauces, despite having names that my phone’s autocorrect wants to turn into “honey reachable” and “mayor’s chair,” respectively, are some damn good hybrid sriracha sauces…if paired with the right foods.

Heinz Honeyracha Saucy Sauces with Fries

At first, I tried both with Jack in the Box’s French fries. Honeyracha’s sweet and peppery flavor from the combination of honey and sriracha did okay with the fried potato sticks. But fries and Mayoracha, a combo of mayonnaise and sriracha, tasted as if they were meant for each other. Yes, it’s pretty much a fry sauce (the mayo and ketchup combo that originated in Utah), but with a spicy kick.

Heinz Mayoracha Saucy Sauces with Fries

I love fries to death, but I love them with this peppery and garlicky mayo even more. After trying a few dipped in Honeyracha, I spent the rest of my fries with the creamy dip and was sad when every bit of fried potato was gone. I was even sadder when my wife, who says she loves me, swatted away my hand as I tried to steal some of her curly fries.

Both sauces have a level of spiciness that I’d consider mild. On my heat scale, they register a two or three.

Honeyracha didn’t get much action with the fast food side, but with every taste of the sauce, all I could think about was how it would be awesome with some chicken nuggets. In fact, its sweet and tangy flavor is very similar to McDonald’s BBQ Sauce, but with a peppery and spicy kick.

Heinz Honeyracha Saucy Sauces with Nuggets

Because I couldn’t get the thought of using Honeyracha as a dip for nuggets out of my head, I had to return to Jack in the Box to get some of its bite-sized breaded chicken. When I was able to bring the two together, I was not surprised they paired wonderfully.

What was surprising was how well the honey and sriracha condiment did in a turkey sandwich. What was even more unexpected, since mayo and sandwiches come together often, was how I didn’t care for Mayoracha in another turkey sandwich I made.

I’m sure I’ll find other ways to use both sauces. But if I don’t, I’d be happy if I ended up using the rest of the Mayoracha with fries and all the remaining Honeyracha with chicken nuggets and turkey sandwiches.

DISCLOSURE: I received free samples of the products. Doing so did not influence my review in any way. Although, it totally seems like it. But I assure you it did not.

Purchased Price: FREE
Size: 20.2 oz. bottle (Honeyracha), 16.6 oz.
bottle (Mayoracha)
Purchased at: Received from Heinz
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Honeyracha), 8 out of 10 (Mayoracha)
Nutrition Facts: (2 tbsp) Honeyracha – 70 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 340 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 15 grams of sugar, 14 grams of added sugar, and 0 grams of protein Mayoracha – 180 calories, 19 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 230 milligrams of sodium, 2 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, 1 gram of added sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: French’s & Coolhaus Mustard Ice Cream Truck

French s  Coolhaus Mustard Ice Cream

You really get to know who your friends are in the moments after you yell across the office, “There’s a French’s Mustard Ice Cream Truck pop-up today for National Mustard Day – who’s going with me?!?!” 

I thought I’d drag my co-workers, kicking and screaming, into my novelty-flavored world. I dared them into trying Wasabi and Spicy Chicken Wing Oreos. I buttered them up with Strawberry Cheesecake Kit Kats. But there I was, standing solo on a hot Rockefeller Center sidewalk, gleefully spooning bright yellow, mustard-flavored ice cream into my gaping maw. I couldn’t miss something as potentially horrifying as this.

French s  Coolhaus Mustard Ice Cream 2 Truck

My co-workers missed out, because, defying all odds and expectations, French’s Mustard Ice Cream was GOOD. 

First things first – based on color alone, there was no question this was mustard ice cream. French’s and Coolhaus ice cream perfectly replicated that signature shade. The serving was a good size for a free sample – about a scoop and a half. It came with a Coolhaus pretzel cookie that was absolutely delicious. 

French s  Coolhaus Mustard Ice Cream 3 Cup

My first impression when the ice cream hit my taste buds was “vanilla plus something.” The mustard flavor was far more subdued than I expected. There was none of the sharp tang that the condiment is known for. It took a moment for the mustard flavor to even land on my palate, and even then, it took a back seat to the milk/cream/vanilla. I wondered if anyone would correctly identify it if they didn’t already know, or have the visual cue of the color.

Overall, I thought it was an enjoyable ice cream that I might actually buy again if it were in stores.

French s  Coolhaus Mustard Ice Cream 4 Empty

In case you weren’t in New York/Los Angeles, or had something more pressing to do with your day (can’t imagine what would qualify), the French’s website has a home recipe you can use to recreate the magic of the Mustard Ice Cream Truck, albeit without the intoxicating perfume of Manhattan in the summer. I decided to give it a whirl. 

It’s a no-churn recipe, so you don’t need an ice cream machine, just a blender. It came together in under five minutes, but needed a few hours in the freezer. I left mine overnight and it was a good scoopable consistency in the morning. 

French s  Coolhaus Mustard Ice Cream 5 DIY

Taste-wise, it was on-par with the truck ice cream, but the texture was more like a frozen whipped topping, because it’s essentially a whipped cream base. I think I added a pinch more mustard than the truck, because I noticed it more here, but it’s an easy and pretty accurate copy of what I had on the street.

I have to hand it to French’s for creating a quirky, fun food instead of just another “experience” that’s all about taking Instagram photos with their logo.

And guess who’s going to work tomorrow with a batch of mustard ice cream and a bunch of spoons?

Purchased Price: FREE / DIY
Size: N/A
Purchased at: French’s & Coolhaus Mustard Ice Cream Truck
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: Not available.

REVIEW: Heinz Kranch Saucy Sauce

Heinz Kranch Saucy Sauce

What is Heinz Kranch Saucy Sauce?

Standing proudly as Heinz’s latest crazy condiment mashup, this special saucy sauce combines two of America’s favorite condiments – ketchup and ranch dressing – and puts them into a single, convenient squeeze bottle.

How is it?

As much as I loved the taste and novelty of Mayochup, I can’t seem to get behind Kranch in the same way. On the surface, both agglomerations sound like solid, if not slightly-too-similar ideas. Mayonnaise is an integral ingredient in ranch dressing, and both spreads have long-standing reputations as all-purpose accoutrements.

The problem is that Kranch’s practical applications are much more limited than Mayochup’s. I like ketchup. I like ranch. Even so, I can’t think of many foods I would enjoy with both ketchup and ranch.

Heinz Kranch Saucy Sauce Plated

Although Kranch doesn’t taste bad, per se, I could never figure out a single food I liked it on. It was too ketchup-esque to use as a dip for fresh veggies, but also too much like salad dressing to make a good sidekick for chicken nuggets and alphabet fries. I didn’t like it as salad dressing and thought it made a terrible sandwich spread.

Heinz Kranch Saucy Sauce Chicken Nugget

Is there anything else you should know?

Since this is now Heinz’s fourth take on mixing condiments that everybody has at home and calling it something new, I’m beginning to think the company is just on a quest to dominate shelf-space in the condiment aisle. At this rate, grocery stores are going to have to carve out a special enclave for the growing saucy sauce family.

Conclusion:

Given its limited applications and simple composition, Kranch doesn’t deserve the space it’ll hog in your refrigerator. Rather than buying this, I’d recommend saving your $3.00 and mixing some ketchup and ranch at home.

Purchased Price: $2.98
Purchased at: Walmart
Size: 19 fl. oz.
Rating: 4 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 tablespoons) 100 calories, 10 grams of total fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 170 milligrams of sodium, 3 grams of total carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 3 grams of total sugars, 2 grams of added sugars, 0 grams of protein.