REVIEW: Kellogg’s Eggo Froot Loops Waffles (2022)

Kellogg s Eggo Froot Loops Waffles Box

What is it?

We’ve known for some time that Froot Loops is discontent with their lot in life. Dissatisfied for years now with their small corner on the grocery store shelf, nestled between the Honey Smacks and the Apple Jacks, they’ve been throwing themselves around like some rummed-up pirate on shore leave.

They were gummies for a spell after they were Pop-Tarts; they’ve been made into bars and straws. They were Easter Peeps once, and who could forget the time they became donuts from Carl’s Jr.? Well, now they’ve made their way into Eggo waffles. (Well, again. The first time was in 2003. Given the shared parentage, maybe it’s surprising it’s not a standard offering.)

How is it?

Kellogg s Eggo Froot Loops Waffles Plated

It’s exactly as you imagine: mostly run-of-the-mill Eggo waffles, but every so often, you get an aggressively sweet bit of Froot Loops cereal. There was no discernible textural difference between the regular waffle and the cereal piece, but I could see them, and I sure as hell could taste them.

I tried them plain and then in a universally standard waffle format — i.e. with butter and syrup — and it is worth noting that, while the Froot Loops taste is powerful on the naked waffle, when gussied up, it loses 95% of its impact. With butter and syrup, you’re just eating a normal waffle that gets weirdly chemical-tasting at the end.

Kellogg s Eggo Froot Loops Waffles Closeup

Anything else you need to know?

These weren’t bad; I don’t want anyone to think that. I’m just not sure under what circumstance they get eaten. Most people eat waffles with toppings, yeah? And if you’re topping these things, there’s no point in having them be Froot Loops waffles. It’s a real Catch Twenty-Toucan Sam. (Oh wow, I am so sorry about that. It just slipped out.)

Conclusion:

Froot Loops should work on their self-esteem and realize that, as the world’s preeminent artificially fruit-flavored, ring-shaped cereal, they are good enough, they make us proud, and all we want is for them to be happy with who they are.

Purchased Price: $2.69
Size: 12.3 oz/10 waffles
Purchased at: Sun Fresh
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 waffles) 190 calories, 6 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 370 milligrams of sodium, 30 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 7 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Eggo Grab & Go Liege-Style Waffles

Kellogg s Eggo Grab  Go Liege style Waffles Box

Kellogg’s has introduced new Eggo Grab & Go Liège-style waffles in Strawberry and Buttery Maple flavors. Inspired by the popular Belgian street food and promising even faster preparation than the classic toaster waffle, will these earn a place in the breakfast rotation?

Liège waffles are the most popular waffle variant in the waffle-loving nation of Belgium. They incorporate pearl sugar and use a bread-like dough resulting in a dense, chewy texture. I found all this out from Wikipedia because, like most Americans, my experience the breakfast staple begins at Eggo and ends at a diner’s Belgian waffle. That is all I know, despite the fact one of my grandparents was Belgian, and I assume he had waffle secrets that he took to his grave.

Kellogg s Eggo Grab  Go Liege style Waffles Wrappers

They come individually wrapped and require only thawing to be ready. I rip open a Buttery Maple and take a bite. Condensation from the plastic packaging has caused some soggy spots, but nothing substantial. The golden-brown exterior and maple flavor combine to create a satisfying toasted flavor. Even the Strawberry version tastes mostly of golden brown toastiness. It’s not bad, but don’t bite into it expecting to be transported to a summer strawberry field by its fresh strawberry essence.

Kellogg s Eggo Grab  Go Liege style Waffles Exterior

The texture fails to impress when unheated. It’s stiff and dry. The pearl sugar adds interest, but overall, the texture reminds me of a mediocre pastry at a motel continental breakfast. It drastically improves when microwaved for 20 seconds. It softens enough that you can pull it apart to see the strands of bready dough, like the brioche that an authentic Liège waffle is supposed to be, according to Wikipedia. (Curse you, secretive Belgian grandpa!).

Kellogg s Eggo Grab  Go Liege style Waffles Interior

Here’s a hot breakfast take that will have my Belgian grandpa spinning in his grave: waffles are the Ron Weasley of the pancake, French toast, and waffle trio. They’re not bad, but they’re the weakest option of the three. Eggos are good, but no one is leaping out of bed in anticipation for one. A diner’s Belgian waffle is fine, but they’re all crisp exterior with no substance. Maybe that’s why I appreciate these Liège-style waffles when heated. The bready texture makes for a substantial treat even without additions.

For the record, Harry is pancakes and Hermione is French toast. I will not be taking questions.

Kellogg’s Eggo Grab & Go Liège-style waffles are a worthy addition to the Eggo lineup. They’re fine thawed, but do yourself a favor and heat them. Or maybe really treat yourself and add some powdered sugar, berries, whipped cream, or whatever secret family waffle topping I don’t know about.

Purchased Price: $5.19 each
Size: 7.76 oz (220g)/4 pack
Purchased at: Woodman’s Markets
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Buttery Maple), 6 out of 10 (Strawberry)
Nutrition Facts: (1 waffle) 230 calories, 10 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 60 milligrams of cholesterol, 200 milligrams of sodium, 30 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 grams of fiber, 13 grams of sugar including 13 grams added sugar, and 5 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Eggo Thick & Fluffy Tiramisu and Strawberry Cheesecake Waffles

Eggo Thick  Fluffy Tiramisu and Strawberry Cheesecake Waffles Boxes

Here’s the thing about me and waffles: I don’t know when to eat them. I love them, right? Pancakes, French toast, and cinnamon rolls, too. But the thing is, I’m a salty and savory breakfast guy, though and through. Give me a big ol’ sloppy plate piled with biscuits smothered in thick, creamy gravy, a mountain of buttery scrambled eggs, and one pig’s worth of sausage and bacon, please.

So then, what do I do? When do I eat sweet breakfast foodstuffs? To be frank, it all feels so dessert-y to me. (I mean, one of the aforementioned foods has cake right in the name.) But here’s the deal with that — how often do you feel like eating a big syrupy stack of flapjacks or a fluffy golden waffle after pounding a plate of fried chicken and mashed potatoes?

It’s tricky.

But Eggo seems to be embracing the “breakfast for dessert” ideation with the introduction of its new Thick & Fluffy family members, Tiramisu and Strawberry Cheesecake. Will these vanguard vittles make me feel less conflicted about my B4D dilemma?

Well, they would if they were good, which they’re not, so they won’t.

Where do they go wrong, you’re asking? Let’s take a deeper dive.

Eggo Thick  Fluffy Tiramisu and Strawberry Cheesecake Waffles Frozen

First of all, these things don’t cook properly. At least, not in a toaster — aka, the place where you generally cook Eggo waffles. Much like the problematic Pillsbury Toaster Strudel, the Thick & Fluffy waffle cooks unevenly, leaving pockets of cold tundra surrounded by peninsulas of heat. The directions suggest toasting it on the lowest setting (!) And that “two cookings may be required.” I’m sorry… no? The point of a frozen waffle — or strudel, or Pop Tart — is that I can be ready to rock with that thing with very little foreplay. (I mean, in theory, anyway.) Same goes for the second suggested cooking method, a conventional oven. What is this, Kellogg’s, the slow food movement?

But anyway, all of this cooking nonsense would be forgivable if the waffles came out enjoyable. And they just don’t.

Eggo Thick  Fluffy Strawberry Cheesecake Waffles Warmed

I tried each kind plain, straight from the toaster, and then covered in butter and syrup. The Strawberry Cheesecake had a decent artificial strawberry flavoring (owing to the inclusion of dried strawberries, no doubt), but there was nothing there that even began to suggest “cheesecake.” Despite its flaws — the batter was bland, it could’ve used considerably more strawberries, and I was promised cheesecake, dammit — it did hold up better to butter and syrup than the tiramisu.

Eggo Thick  Fluffy Tiramisu Waffles Warmed

The tiramisu was definitely better, though, don’t get me wrong. The box promised “cocoa and roasted coffee” flavoring, and it had that. The coffee flavor was subtle and accompanied by the tiniest hint of chocolate. Straight from the toaster, they were okay. But something peculiar happened when adorned with butter and syrup, though. They turned into totally plain tasting Eggo waffles. The mild coffee tones were made obsolete.

As a fan of eating breakfast for dessert, I was excited about these waffles conceptually. As someone who doesn’t like to eat bad things, though, I ended up disappointed.

Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: 11.6 oz boxes/6 waffles
Purchased at: Hy-Vee
Rating: 5 out of 10 (Tiramisu), 4 out of 10 (Strawberry Cheesecake)
Nutrition Facts: (1 waffle) Tiramisu – 160 calories, 6 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 260 milligrams of sodium, 24 grams of carbohydrates, 7 grams of sugar (including 7 grams added sugars), and 3 grams of protein. Strawberry Cheesecake – 160 calories, 6 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 240 milligrams of sodium, 25 grams of carbohydrates, 9 grams of sugar (including 9 grams added sugars), and 3 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Eggo Frosted Maple Flavor Pop-Tarts

Eggo Frosted Maple Pop Tarts Box

Oreo seems to get all the hype, but I’m not sure any snack brand has had more flavor variations over the years than Pop-Tarts.

Sure, I could probably look that up and get you exact figures, but I’m too lazy. After all, I DID eat a Pop-Tart for breakfast today.

To be fair, Pop-Tarts may be a “lazy” breakfast, but they are the KINGS of lazy on-the-go breakfasts, and that’s exactly why I’ve always appreciated them.

Don’t feel like putting forth even the slightest bit of cooking effort? Grab an ol’ reliable Pop-Tart. You’ll still feel like you actually ate breakfast, especially now that they’ve teamed up with another breakfast staple, Eggo.

A handheld pastry that tastes like Eggo waffles? Sounds like a hall of fame “lazy” breakfast to me.

Eggo Frosted Maple Pop Tarts Frosting

Well, it sounded like one at least…

I wouldn’t necessarily say these BURST with flavor. They do a decent job toeing the line between the two familiar experiences each brand brings to the table, but I’m a little baffled.

I wanted to be waffled.

Eggo Frosted Maple Pop Tarts Split

You get some maple syrup, but it’s cut with that very distinct Pop-Tart crust taste and texture. Imagine pouring Pop-Tart crust batter into a waffle iron. It tastes wayyyyy more like Pop-Tart than waffle, to the point “Eggo” just feels there in name only. “Eggo” must only be repping the maple flavor because these only kinda taste like Hint o’ Waffles.

There’s a dab of “butteriness” in there too, which I liked. I thought maybe the yellow icing was butter flavored, but upon isolating it, it just had a generic sugary flavor. I guess that butter also came from the crust, and maybe that’s ultimately where the “waffle” plays in.

Pop-Tart pastry is just the dominant flavor, even more so than the maple filling and icing, which makes these kinda bland overall. They smell like maple, though, which is always a welcome aroma.

Eggo Frosted Maple Pop Tarts Toasted

I’m not a huge toasted Pop-Tart guy, I usually just go pouch to mouth, but this seemed as good a flavor as any to eat warm. The toaster didn’t really improve the experience, but hey, at least I managed to burn my palm on the scolding hot icing!

So yeah, whether you lazily eat your Pop-Tarts right out of the pouch or toast them, these just come away tasting like mildly sweet Maple Pop-Tarts. They’re not terrible. They’re mid-tier, and I like them better than the Maple Bacon flavor from a few years ago. That being said, they’re still disappointing since they almost accomplished what they set out to do.

I bought 16 of these things, so they’ll stick around for a bit, but I don’t necessarily mind knowing I’ll have ’em there for some future lazy mornings. I may even get adventurous and use them as bread in an egg and sausage sandwich at some point… if I have the energy. Meh, maybe I won’t. Who knows? I’m going to take a nap.

Purchased Price: $4.14
Size: 16-pack box
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 pastries) 380 calories, 12 grams of fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 mg of cholesterol, 330 milligrams of sodium, 67 grams of total carbohydrates, 30 grams of total sugars, 0 grams of fiber, and 4 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Narwhal Raspberry Waffles

Kellogg s Narwhal Raspberry Waffles Box

What are Kellogg’s Narwhal Raspberry Waffles?

This time last year, Kellogg’s released a collection of frozen waffles that included flavors like Mermaid (Blue Raspberry), Unicorn (Cotton Candy), and Birthday Cake. This year, raspberry-flavored Narwhal waffles have joined them.

What in tarnation is a narwhal you ask? Unlike mermaids, unicorns, and the mythical “birthday cake,” narwhals are real. They’re medium-sized whales with a single, long horn (tusk) on the front of their heads. I hear they taste like raspberries, hence the waffle flavor.

Kellogg s Narwhal Raspberry Waffles Closeup

How is it?

These blue-green raspberry waffles looked an awful lot like the blue raspberry Mermaid waffles from last year. Suspiciously alike. But did I even care? I loved the Mermaid (and the Unicorn) waffles. So even if they were simply a retread, I’d be happy.

Kellogg s Narwhal Raspberry Waffles Berries

And they were a retread – woo hoo! The same fruity-eggy aroma, really fun teal hue, and sugary raspberry flavor. They were thick waffles that toasted nicely, and something about the octagonal shape was so satisfying. I couldn’t hate on these, even if the narwhal was just a mermaid in a new costume.

Anything else you need to know?

The back of the box asked me to “check out all our other fun waffles,” but only showed Unicorn and Birthday Cake flavors, so I’m thinking Narwhal is a replacement for Mermaid. Mermaids are SO 2020.

Kellogg s Narwhal Raspberry Waffles Back

Conclusion:

I loved these! You will too if you’re a fan of: cute things, sparkly things, pink/blue/purple things, things that taste like someone lightly rubbed a Jolly Rancher on them, things that taste like last year’s things lightly rubbed with Jolly Ranchers, 8-sided things, things to put in the toaster and forget are there, things that make other people ask why they exist, or things that are unapologetically happy.

Purchased Price: $2.96
Size: 11.oz box (6 waffles)
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 waffle) 130 calories, 2.5 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 260 milligrams of sodium, 26 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 7 grams of total sugars, including 7 grams of added sugars, and 3 grams of protein.