REVIEW: Monster Energy Ultra Paradise

Monster Energy Ultra Paradise

What is Monster Energy Ultra Paradise?

Monster Energy just released “Paradise” as the newest addition to its sugar-free Ultra line of energy drinks. According to the back of the can, Monster Ultra Paradise delivers “Pure, Crisp, Invigorating Island Flavors.” The question is, what exactly is an island flavor?

Monster Energy Ultra Paradise 2

How is it?

I’m a frequent consumer of Monster Ultra, so I know the flavors can be difficult to place. Sure, Ultra Red kind of tastes like fruit punch, and Ultra Sunrise tastes vaguely orangish, but what flavor is Ultra Blue? Ultra Zero? Ultra Paradise at least gives us a hint that it’ll be tropically flavored.

Monster Energy Ultra Paradise 3

Upon opening, Ultra Paradise is a hazy light green color. The island flavor is… nondescript. Pineapple, maybe? Or maybe Pina Colada? Is the green color supposed to be a hint? It’s definitely tropical, but I still have no idea what that means exactly. You could tell me it was passion fruit flavored, and I’d believe you. (Full disclosure: those weird purple Starburst are the complete extent of my experience with passion fruit.)

Is there anything else you need to know?

Some varieties of Monster Ultra can be too sweet for my tastes, so I appreciate this one keeps it more subdued. It allows the citric acid tang to add a bit of a kick, which is appreciated when I’m looking for a pick-me-up.

Conclusion:

When imbibing a caffeinated beverage, I’m mostly interested in its pharmacological effect. Most of the time that means coffee, but if I’m at a convenience store of questionable quality, with a pot of coffee that’s been there longer than the clerk, I may reach for an energy drink instead. Monster always gets the job done with 140 milligrams of caffeine, and Paradise fits in well with the rest of the Ultra options.

Purchased Price: $2.00
Size: 16 fl. oz. can
Purchased at: Festival Foods
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 160 milligrams of sodium, 1 gram of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, and 0 gram of protein, 100% Niacin, 100% Vitamin B6, 100%, Vitamin B12, 100% Vitamin B5, and 140 mg of caffeine.

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REVIEW: Red Bull Pear Edition

Red Bull Pear Edition

What is Red Bull Pear Edition?

A sugarfree Red Bull flavor that I wish wasn’t sugarless.

How is it?

It smells wonderful. It has a delicious, sweet pear scent that makes me imagine I’m in a giant pear hanging out with talking invertebrates. Oh, wait. My imagination is plagiarizing James and the Giant Peach.

But, before taking I sip, I know its flavor will not be taking my taste buds sledding down the side of a sweet pear. The letters in the blue stripe at the top of the can tell me what my expectations should be.

That enticing aroma doesn’t equate to a flavor that’s as delicious because it’s sugarfree. It uses our hyper-sweet friends, sucralose and Ace K, to bring its sugar level down to nil.

With that said, it has an excellent artificial pear flavor. Again, it’s not as pleasant as the way it smells, but for a sugarfree energy drink, it’s tasty and I’ve been enjoying it. The artificial sweeteners are noticeable, but they don’t seem to be as harsh as other energy drinks I’ve had.

Is there anything else you need to know?

Red Bull Pear Edition in a Fancy Glass

It has 114 milligrams of sweet, sweet caffeine per can. Its light green color makes me yearn for a melon-flavored Red Bull. Make that happen, Red Bull, even though I’m pretty sure no one there reads this site, so I’m just shouting into the wind.

With other sugarless energy drinks I’ve consumed to help keep this site running, once its no longer chilled, the artificial sweeteners are more noticeable and drinking them becomes somewhat of a drag. But, and this is going to sound weird to those who are familiar with what I described in the previous sentence, even at room temperature, this still tasted pleasant to me.

Conclusion:

If you don’t mind sugarfree energy drinks, Red Bull Pear Edition is worth trying because it has a nice flavor for a zero sugar beverage and a straight up pear-flavored energy drink seems to be a rare thing. So if you haven’t tried one, here’s your chance.

Purchased Price: $2.50
Size: 12 fl. oz.
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (12 fl. oz.) 15 calories, 0 grams of fat, 200 milligrams of sodium, 2 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, and less than 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Red Bull Peach Edition

Red Bull Peach Edition

What is Red Bull Peach Edition?

A new flavor of Red Bull that seems to be on shelves earlier than it should be since peaches and nectarines are considered summer fruits and its press release came out in February.

How is it?

It tastes as if Red Bull was able to pick at the peak of their ripeness the freshest Trolli or Haribo peach gummies it could find. Seriously, the flavor and smell of this cloudy white beverage are extremely similar to those fruit-flavored gummies, which I love. So I heart the taste of Red Bull Peach Edition as its 114 milligrams of caffeine makes my heart beat faster.

Red Bull Peach Edition 2

Oh, about its color, it’s surprising it wasn’t a shade of yellow-orange like the flesh of the fruits. Although, I know both can also have white innards. But I feel as if when most people think of peaches and nectarines, they think of the orange ones, like the color of the text on the can. I have no idea why Red Bull went with cloudy white, but I want to assume that it represents the color of peach fuzz.

Is there anything else you need to know?

I had to look up the differences between peaches and nectarines because I wasn’t in the Future Farmers of America in high school and I never thought during moments of boredom to Google it. Here’s what I gathered via a few webpages that were not Wikipedia:

  • Peaches have fuzz, while nectarines don’t.
  • Nectarines are firmer and smaller.
  • Peaches come from a can, they were put there by a man in a factory downtown. If I had my little way, I’d eat peaches every day, sun-soakin’ bulges in the shade.

Conclusion:

Red Bull Peach Edition is a nice addition to the lineup. I’m not sure if it’s a limited edition flavor or permanent. But if you love peach gummies, you’ll enjoy it.

Purchased Price: $2.50
Size: 12 fl. oz.
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (12 fl. oz.) 160 calories, 0 grams of fat, 125 milligrams of sodium, 40 grams of carbohydrates, 38 grams of sugar, and less than 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Mtn Dew Amp Game Fuel

Mtn Dew Amp Game Fuel

When Mtn Dew started using a variety of sweeteners to bring down the sugar levels in its newer limited edition flavors, I was fine with it. Instead of only high fructose corn syrup, the brand used a mixture of HFCS, sucralose, and acesulfame potassium.

As someone who enjoys diet soda, I didn’t mind the sweetener switch, but others shook their fists at Mtn Dew, and I just shook my head at them.

But now I’m wondering if I should shake my fists at Mtn Dew and shake my head at myself because I’m not sure I like Mtn Dew’s new Amp Game Fuel that uses the sweetener combo mentioned above.

According to its website, the new line was developed in partnership with pros and elite amateurs to create the first beverage designed just for gamers. It’s formulated with ingredients that have been shown to improve accuracy and alertness — caffeine (90 mg) and theanine. So I guess one could say it’s like the Gatorade for gamers.

The cans themselves features a tactile grip and resealable tab (more on that later). There are currently four flavors — Cherry Burst, Berry Blast, Tropical Strike, and Original Dew Destruction. Okay, actually, it’s just called “Original Dew,” but I felt bad it didn’t have a cool video game sounding name, so I gave it one.

While Amp Game Fuel’s name is a combination of other Mtn Dew lines, the actual beverage is more like another, Kickstart. They have similar consistencies. Both are not as syrupy and carbonated as the original soda, making them easier to drink.

Mtn Dew Amp Game Fuel 2

As for how they taste, most of them remind me of other Dew flavors I’ve had, but diet versions of them because they have an artificial sweetener aftertaste. Drinking the Original Dew version is like chugging on a Diet Mountain Dew. The cherry one, which isn’t like a Diet Code Red, teeters on the line between medicine and beverage, which makes it my least favorite of the four. The yellow one has a nice tropical vibe that seems to be a combination of pineapple and lime. The blue one, while I know it’s berry flavored, at times reminds me of cotton candy. Because of that, it ended up being my favorite of the bunch, slightly ahead of Tropical Strike.

To be honest, when I first tried them, I didn’t care for them, and I was shaking my fist at Mtn Dew. But, because I bought a 12-can variety pack from Amazon and it doesn’t have a Costco-like return policy, I had to drink them again. Doing so made me like them a little more, even the cherry one. But they’re not good enough that I can guarantee I’ll repurchase them.

But what about my accuracy and alertness?

I’m not a gamer, but I am a writer, and accuracie and afertness are tools I need while writing and editing. Did Amp Game Fuel improve them? Sure, but I didn’t notice any difference from what I usually drink, which is coffee or whatever energy drink is on sale at 7-Eleven.

What I’m more impressed with is the resealable plastic tab. It’s simple to use and does an excellent job of preventing the carbonation from fading. It also makes me feel as if I’m flipping up the head of a Transformer with hydraulic sound effects. But the treehugger in me is wondering how recyclable the aluminum can is because the plastic tab doesn’t come off easily. The idea of these cans messing with recycling centers makes me worry.

If you’re a gamer and want to improve, this will not help you as much as in-game purchases will. If you’re a hardcore Dew fan who hates all the ace-k and sucralose going into your Dew, you will definitely shake your fist at Amp Game Fuel.

Purchased Price: $19.99
Size: 12-can variety pack
Purchased at: Amazon
Rating: 5 out of 10 (Original Dew)
Rating: 5 out of 10 (Cherry Burst)
Rating: 6 ouf ot 10 (Tropical Strike)
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Berry Blast)
Nutrition Facts: (1 can – all flavors) 90 calories, 0 grams of fat, 180 milligrams of sodium, 24 grams of carbohydrates, 23 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Java Monster Swiss Chocolate

Java Monster Swiss Chocolate

What is the Java Monster Swiss Chocolate?

It promises “the taste of Swiss chocolate paired with premium coffee and cream and supercharged with our Monster Energy Blend.” It’s currently a Dollar General exclusive flavor.

How is it?

Java Monster Swiss Chocolate 2

When poured, the color is the same as heavily creamed coffee, with a scent to match. The java flavor is strong without being overpowering. It’s not as tooth-cracklingly sweet as some other pre-made coffee beverages I’ve had, though it still has a “syrupy” character.

As a regular energy drink consumer, I’m on the lookout for that medicinal energy drink aftertaste, the one that makes it seem like the manufacturer crushed up a multivitamin into your drink. I detect some, but it’s so small that it could easily be a sense memory of the hundreds of other energy drinks I’ve had.

Java Monster Swiss Chocolate 3

The chocolate flavor is very slight. I don’t want to alarm you, but it’s possible the chocolate element in this beverage actually has no connection at all to Switzerland, and “Swiss” was added to the name in an attempt to brand the product as more exotic and exciting than it really is. Shocking, I know. There’s so little of it here that I don’t think it deserves top billing, naming-wise.

Is there anything else you need to know?

I usually drink my coffee hot, so I was curious what would happen if I heated this in the microwave for a few seconds. I’m secretly hoping the added thermal energy will have some strange alchemical effect and transmute the Monster Energy Blend into a Jekyll/Hyde concoction, allowing me to unleash the beast within.

Alas, the beast must remain chained, as heating only has the effect of making it hotter. If anything, the heat distracts from the already very slight Monster Energy Blend flavor, turning this into a plain hot cup of joe.

Conclusion:

Java Monster Swiss Chocolate delivers a decent coffee flavor with a slight chocolate note. It’s not bad but doesn’t separate itself from a hundred other options.

Purchased Price: $2.10
Size: 15 fl. oz.
Purchased at: Dollar General
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 210 calories, 4.5 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 15 milligrams of cholesterol, 440 milligrams of sodium, 500 milligrams of potassium, 36 grams of carbohydrates, 35 of sugar, and 8 grams of protein.

QUICK REVIEW: Monster Pacific Punch Energy Juice

Monster Pacific Punch Energy Juice

What is the Monster Pacific Punch Energy Juice?

It’s a tropical fruit punch-flavored Monster Energy Juice that comes in a can that looks like the textbook margins of that person in the back of the class who’s great at drawing, but not good at paying attention in class.

It has more fruit than a Carmen Miranda hat (Google her). There’s orange juice concentrate, apple juice concentrate, raspberry juice concentrate, guava puree, cherry juice concentrate, pineapple juice concentrate, and passionfruit juice concentrate.

How is it?

I wondered how similar this would taste to Monster’s Pipeline Punch – one of my favorite Monster Energy flavors – because they both are tropical fruit punch. After drinking both, Pacific Punch leans more towards what most taste buds would associate with fruit punch. Think of it as carbonated Hawaiian Punch that’ll punch your heart with 160 milligrams of sweet, sweet caffeine per can.

Monster Pacific Punch Energy Juice 2

Pipeline Punch tastes more “tropical” to me than Pacific Punch, but I enjoy both equally. I don’t know if this is a permanent addition to the Monster Juice lineup, but I hope it is because it’s really tasty.

Is there anything else I need to know?

It smells like a red popsicle.

I said it before, and I’ll say it again. Energy drink companies are getting really good at making their energy drinks not taste like energy drinks. And Pacific Punch is no exception. It was super easy to drink.

Conclusion:

Another great job by Monster Energy. If you want a fruit punch with a caffeinated kick, Monster Pacific Punch is what you should be drinking.

Purchased Price: $1.99
Size: 16 oz. can
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (16 oz.) 220 calories, 0 grams of fat, 80 milligrams of sodium, 54 grams of carbohydrates, 52 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.