REVIEW: Taco Bell Loaded Steak and Jalapeno Fries

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Taco Bell’s latest topped fries du saison are the Loaded Steak and Jalapeno Fries. It features marinated steak, nacho cheese sauce, jalapeno peppers, and creamy jalapeno sauce on a bed of nacho fries. With the twin jalapeno toppings, maybe this should’ve been called the Loaded Jalapeno and Steak Fries. Or perhaps it should’ve kept the name Taco Bell gave it in 2019 — Steak Rattlesnake Fries.

If you want to read our review of those fries, click here. Read on if you want to live in the present.

Some of you might be wondering what the bleep is with that white bloop of reduced-fat sour cream. It’s not supposed to come with this, and I didn’t customize my order to get it. So, um, a bonus? But I transplanted the white topping to a taco so that I could experience the fries as the Taco Bell Gods intended.

Although it’s a previous product with a new, less cool name, it doesn’t take away from the fact that it’s savory and tasty for the most part, which I’ll get to in a moment. The double strike of jalapeno ingredients brings the peppery flavor to the forefront, but both bring less heat than one might expect. I don’t know if the nacho cheese sauce had anything to do with the lack of spiciness, but if you’re looking to singe your taste buds, you won’t get that feeling from this unless you’re very sensitive to spiciness. The pickled pepper slices also have a satisfying crunch that the seasoned Nacho Fries wished they had.

The bites I enjoyed most were those where the meat took a back seat to the fries and sauces. I’ve had Taco Bell’s steak over a dozen times by now since it comes standard with every loaded fries, but the more I eat it, the less I like it. I know I shouldn’t expect much from Taco Bell, but I feel as if the meat tasted much better when the chain first updated it years ago. Now, it has a flavor that doesn’t excite my taste buds, and I’d rather eat Taco Bell’s seasoned beef than the steak.

Taco Bell’s Loaded Steak and Jalapeno Fries are a mixed bag of yum and meh. I enjoyed dipping my fangs into the fries, jalapenos, and sauces. But if I order this again, I’ll probably substitute the meat to create the Loaded Chicken and Jalapeno Fries or Loaded Black Beans and Jalapeno Fries.

Purchased Price: $5.49*
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts:470 calories, 27 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 25 milligrams of cholesterol, 1420 milligrams of sodium, 39 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, and 13 grams of protein.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

REVIEW: Starbucks Iced Horchata Oatmilk Shaken Espresso

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Horchata is such a fun word, isn’t it? It makes me want to do a little dance, as does the newest drink on the Starbucks summer menu: the Iced Horchata Oatmilk Shaken Espresso. It’s been a while since Starbucks had horchata in the lineup – long ago, there was a Horchata Almondmilk Frappuccino – and this one does not disappoint.

This drink takes shots of the Starbucks Blonde Espresso (two for a tall, three for a grande, and four for a venti) and has horchata syrup. These ingredients are shaken over ice and combined with oatmilk.

What is horchata, you might ask? With origins in Mexico, it’s a drink made with rice, vanilla, and cinnamon flavors. And let me tell you, the cinnamon is definitely the star of the show. You know when you get a coffee with milk or cream and you can just tell by looking at the color that it’ll be perfect? Yep, this was it for me. I was impressed with how creamy this was, and the cinnamon was perfect – not too strong and not too faint. I think the oatmilk really helped balance out the flavors. And if you’re worried about the rice-flavored aspect here, never fear. It’s totally masked by the rest of the drink.

I also like to rate drinks based on how the flavor holds up as I slowly drink them (I’ve mentioned in my reviews before how I can really milk an iced drink), and I’m pleased to share that this one did the trick. The horchata, oatmilk, and espresso were there to the last drop.

I have to say – this drink didn’t feel any more special than anything Starbucks has recently released, but nonetheless, I really enjoyed it. It was refreshing, gave me the caffeine I needed to get through the day, and made a standard shaken espresso a little more exciting. I will definitely order it again!

Purchased Price: $5.65
Size: Tall
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 100 calories, 3.5 grams of total fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 45 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of total carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 8 grams of total sugars, 1 gram of protein, and 170 milligrams of caffeine.

REVIEW: Dunkin’ Tropical Guava Refresher

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If you take your caffeine cold, Dunkin’s newest Refresher promises to wake you up and cool you down with tropical flair. A limited-time summer menu offering, the Dunkin’ Tropical Guava Refresher pairs a green tea base with guava-flavored concentrate for a fruity burst of energy. Also infused with B vitamins to promote energy production, a 24-ounce medium drink contains around 99 milligrams of caffeine.

My Refresher was delivered icy cold and looked like a sunset. The flavor is similarly vibrant: sweet, tart, a little floral, with a realistic guava flavor that tastes to me like a cross between a pear and a strawberry. As someone who has traded in sugary drinks for flavored seltzers (despite a persistent sweet tooth), the sweetness was not a shock to my system. Tartness weaves in and out of the drink, either by design or the way the concentrate is mixed, which prevents it from being consistently either too sweet or too sour.

Most guava-flavored products I know are paired with another fruit flavor, so it was a treat to enjoy something so guava-forward. As the ice dilutes the drink, the tartness fades, and the flavor tastes more like watery strawberry. Icy drinks will water down—such is life—but if you want to prolong the pucker, the lemonade version would also be delicious.

I didn’t detect the flavor of green tea and was not disappointed, because let’s be honest: the tea is merely a vehicle for caffeine and fruity goodness. I do blame the green tea for a drying effect on the tongue—thanks to tannins, if Google is to be believed—which made the drink a little less refreshing than it could have been. I am splitting hairs (slicing guavas thinly?) here, and it feels very “Princess and the Pea” to complain about a slightly dry tongue when I enjoyed this beverage on a day off, lounging about and expending only as much energy as it takes to complete that day’s New York Times Connections puzzle. I would order the standard drink again in a minute, but if I were absolutely parched, I’d consider choosing water as a base.

Whether you are vacationing by the poolside or simply evading life’s responsibilities in the drive-thru, the Dunkin’ Tropical Guava Refresher is one you should guava-tate toward. Depending on your taste preferences, consider swapping bases to customize your own tropical paradise in a to-go cup.

Purchased Price: $3.00
Size: Medium
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 130 calories, 0 grams of total fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 15 milligrams of sodium, 31 grams of total carbs, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 28 grams of total sugar, and 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Dunkin’ Pistachio Signature Latte

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On the cusp of summer, Dunkin’ has brought back its popular pistachio swirl, this time featured in the Pistachio Signature Latte. Available hot or iced, the drink combines espresso and milk with a sweet pistachio flavored swirl and is topped with whipped cream, caramel drizzle, and waffle cone pieces.

I don’t know about you, but when I think of summer flavors, pistachio doesn’t exactly spring to mind. Then again, I’m not sure I want watermelon in my coffee (a quick search tells me that watermelon coffee is actually a thing – shows what I know!). What does come to mind is ice cream, and perhaps this is where everything comes together.

I recently had a delicious pistachio gelato that actually tasted like pistachios, but I’ve enjoyed pistachio ice cream plenty of times, and my general expectation for it is that it will be tinted green but otherwise mostly just taste like ice cream. Considering this, it didn’t surprise me when my first thought after sipping the iced version of the Pistachio Signature Latte was “this tastes like ice cream.” Since I’d put a straw in the drink and not encountered any waffle cone pieces yet, I don’t think I can chalk that up to being influenced by cone bits. There’s a rich, creamy sweetness that I associate with ice cream, but there isn’t much in the way of real pistachio flavor. It makes sense to me that it leans more into the pistachio ice cream realm because of Dunkin’s association with Baskin-Robbins and the fact that Dunkin’ is typically a bit more mainstream and doesn’t try to step too far into the gourmet zone. The chain has chosen to top this drink with waffle cone pieces instead of chopped pistachios, which I think tells us where their heads were at.

Speaking of those pieces, they are a great addition. They provide a fun, toasty-sugary crunch that I didn’t expect would make such a difference in how much I enjoy this drink. Should you opt for the iced version and don’t take a million years to drink it, they’ll probably stay sitting atop the whipped cream and remain somewhat crunchy. If you get the hot version, they’ll sink into the drink and take on a texture like slightly sogged cereal pieces. I’m aware how unappetizing that sounds when we’re talking about something we’re drinking, but for whatever reason, it works here, and I couldn’t stop sipping on this. It’s definitely more of a treat than a morning coffee, but it still managed to strike the right balance of sweetness without being overpowering.

If I’m reaching, and knowing it’s supposed to be pistachio flavored, I could say that it has some nutty notes, but if this were a blind taste test, I would never have guessed this is pistachio flavored. What it is is a very tasty drink, and in the spirit of summer, Dunkin’ should call it what it is: the Pistachio Ice Cream Signature Latte.

Purchased Price: $5.64 (Small Iced), $5.42 (Small Hot)
Size: Small
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Iced), 8 out of 10 (Hot)
Nutrition Facts: (Small Iced) 310 calories, 11 grams of total fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 gram of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 150 milligrams of sodium, 44 grams of total carbs, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 38 grams of total sugar, and 8 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Wendy’s Frosty Fusions

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Remember Wendy’s Frosty Swirls that came out (checks notes) a month ago?

Well, they have been whip kicked to the curb by Wendy’s red ponytails and replaced with the upgraded Frosty Fusions. Just kidding. These are the Frosty Swirls, which are very much still around, with a crunchy topping. Brownie batter gets Oreo cookie pieces, caramel has toffee pieces, and strawberry comes with strawberry Pop-Tarts Crunchy Poppers.

Like the Frosty Swirls, all three are available with either a chocolate or vanilla base. For my review of the previous line, I went with chocolate, so this time I decided to go with vanilla.

An issue I had with the Caramel Frosty Swirl was how weak the caramel sauce was. Unfortunately, and not surprisingly, it’s still weak here with this Frosty Fusion. But the tiny, plentiful toffee pieces add a bit of sweet butteriness to make up for the sauce.

However, even with the toffee, I can confidently say this one isn’t as flavorful or outstanding as the other two. Also, even though I know toffee is going to toffee, I was a bit annoyed by how the pieces stuck to my teeth. Although, maybe that’s me projecting my disappointment with this dessert since I love caramel.

The Oreo Brownie Twist Frosty Fusion combines two chocolatey flavors with the brownie batter sauce and Oreo pieces. Not surprisingly, the cookie pieces enhance the already delicious swirled sauce, and on this vanilla canvas, they both stood out.

On Wendy’s website, the description says, “Not gonna lie, there’s a lot going on here—and all of it is delicious.” While I don’t believe there’s a lot going on with this souped-up Frosty because it’s just three components, all of it is very tasty, and the dark cookie pieces add a pleasant contrasting texture.

Much like IKEA instructions, I sometimes don’t read product descriptions until after the fact, and that’s what I did with the Strawberry Pop-Tarts Frosty Fusion. Because I didn’t look it up, I initially thought this came topped with untoasted Frosted Strawberry Pop-Tart pieces. However, I was pleasantly surprised after realizing it came with Pop-Tarts Crunchy Poppers, which, after thinking about it, made more sense texture-wise than untoasted and uncrunchy Pop-Tarts.

I tasted the strawberry sauce more than the Pop-Tarts’ filling, but didn’t mind that because it enhanced the Pop-Tarts’ flavor, making this a sweet, fruity, and crunchy treat. Much like the Strawberry Frosty Swirl was my favorite among the three swirls, this topped treat was the best of the bunch.

My thoughts about Wendy’s Frosty Fusions mirror what I thought about the Frosty Swirls. The Strawberry one is outstanding, the brownie batter one is excellent, and the caramel one is good, but at the same time, a bit underwhelming.

Purchased Price: $5.89 each
Size: Small
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Caramel Crunch), 8 out of 10 (Oreo Brownie Twist), 9 out of 10 (Pop-Tarts Strawberry)
Nutrition Facts: Oreo Brownie Twist – 520 calories, 23 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 370 milligrams of sodium, 68 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 54 grams of sugar, and 10 grams of protein. Pop-Tarts Strawberry – 370 calories, 9 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 210 milligrams of sodium, 65 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 52 grams of sugar, and 8 grams of protein. Caramel Crunch – 420 calories, 10 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 390 milligrams of sodium, 75 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 60 grams of sugar, and 9 grams of protein.

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